Same Old ______ Football %$&#@

  Did you know that each of the top 100 Big Time College Football schools are firmly convinced that they were the inspiration for the phrase “same old __________ football %^$#@”.  “They” are all sure that their team has disappointed them more consistently over the years than any other program in America.

This past Saturday, the loudest “same old……” lament came from Columbia, Missouri. Saturday a week ago it was another Tiger school – Dabo’s Rock-touchers.   Lets give Clemson credit….. they are claiming “Clemsoning” is now a verb for dashing fans hopes for “a miracle season”.

I have heard the term “same ol’ Carolina Football” more than any other only because I have been to more games “amid the lofty pines” than anywhere else.   It doesn’t matter that viewed “over the decades” Carolina has had a decidedly above average football heritage….. a buncha bonafide NFL alumni….. and been to a buncha bowl games not all of which were named for tires and/or held in cities where Ruby Tuesday’s is considered “fine dining”.   More importantly, to me, Carolina’s overall record vs “comparables” is very commendable…. allowing for a few stretches of not very commendable outcomes.

Carolina has been to one less “real bowl game” in the past 50 years than Wake Forest has.   State, Duke and Virginia likewise have been to one less than Wake Forest has.  I predict this statistic will hold true for the foreseeable future.   I’m OK with that, but recognize many of you are not.

My other alma mater – Missouri – has been to a real bowl game (the Orange one in Miami) in 1970.   I know because I was there.   Several years later, Missouri entered a multi-decade malaise where 5 Ws was considered “over-achieving”.   Then Gary Pinkel arrived.  He started recruiting Texas, found a QB named Chase Daniel and before you could say “wake-up sleeping giant”, Mizzou was “relevant”.

He (Pinkel) could not beat Texas or Oklahoma in much the way Mack could never beat Florida State but fan expectations were quickly ratcheted up to “8 W minimum and better beat everybody else by at least 30” or “same old Mizzou football” moans resonated thru Harpo’s (Mizzou’s version of Amedeo’s).

NOTE:  EVERY college has it’s version of Amedeo’s, Harpo’s, et al like almost every college has a bell tower or a chapel or some architectural anomaly that gets t-peed a lot.

Blah, blah, yadda, yadda….. Mizzou gets to 6-0 beating UGa and Florida and Mizzou-ians get giddy and light-headed and get a nasty case of BCS-itis….. and promptly gets thumped in OT by Spurrier’s chickens….. and “same old, same old ______” is heard.   I know that for a fact because I heard it in my home theater from Blondie.

Yes….. my wife – Blondie – is “a bandwagon fan”.   This past weekend she was a DOUBLE bandwagon fan – Mizzou AND The Cardinals.

Like a lot of Carolina fans, she didn’t give a hoot about Boston College other than the usual “tell me again why they are in the ACC?”  She did think it was cool that Duke beat VaTech and was pleased for our State friends that FlaSt did not “hang 50” on the Wuffs.   She lamented Wake falling short vs Miami.  But Saturday was all about Mizzou and The Cardinals.

She “quit” on both….. giving up in disgust and going to bed before the OT in Columbia and before “the obstruction call”.   She did NOT tweet an obscene threat to the disraught Mizzou placekicker like many lunatics did….. she simply mumbled an “I knew they’d choke” and punched her pillow.

Oh… oh…. oh…. did you hear about the Mayor of Boston calling Frau Yow for permission to blame “the obstruction call” on Johnny Swofford?   Apparently Frau is now the clearinghouse for any potential “blame it on Johnny Swofford” issues.   I hear Frau granted him permission.

I am the clearinghouse for “blame it on Baddour” but you don’t really have to get my permission, “just do it”.   One of Dickie’s Sigma Nu brothers asked me to lighten up on Brother Baddour.  I said “no, not until he gives back all the stoopid plaques and atta-boy crap” to which he said “I understand but I was told to make the request so I did”.

So, every team eventually disappoints its fans and “its fans” fully expect to be disappointed.   Alabama has won 3 out of 4 of the last NCs.  If they don’t win AGAIN this year…… “same ol’ Alabama football” grumbles will be heard in Tuscaloosa.

For those connected with any sports organization pro or college… it is “playing solitaire with a deck of 51”.  You can’t win unless you NEVER lose….. and even then you better win by a lot.

October 28,’13:  In full view of that “oh-so-valuable Boston media market” The Fighting Fedorians unleashed their first complete game of the year to thump a Flutie-less / Ryan-less bunch of Golden Eagles 34-10.  In eye-deal mid-Autumn football-watching weather, the 40,000-ish fans who showed-up were able to spread out a bit and enjoy a solid Tar Heel winning performance.

TO’B and Smilin’ John Tenuta have been exiled to The Valley of The Shenandoah.  There is no Philip, Russell or even a Glennon taking snaps.   Larry is Gio-less. ……. It’s the Triangle version of Lehigh vs Lafayette.  Let the cul-de-sac war begin.   If your football universe is a 68-mile radius from the intersection of I-40 & Miami Blvd then it doesn’t get any bigger or bloviatable than State vs Carolina.  Paul Finebaum and Lee Corso won’t care but who cares.

It’s Frat Boys versus Farm Boys.   Backyard braggin’ rights for a year are on-the-line.   Wonder how many TV sets “in that valuable Boston-market” will tune-in?

WARNING:  A Tar Heel fan wearing C-Blue within a kilometer of “The Carter” Saturday morning is liable to be cussed at, spit on, offended and certain to hear the word “PJ” used in a sentence.  …… READ MORE!

Then return here to leave any comments because you can’t at Chapelboro…..