I simply don’t give a damn about

BobLee
June15/ 2017

It began with the subtlety of Wally Pipp having a headache on June 2, 1925. A strapping young fellow named Lou Gehrig replaced Wally that day at first base for the Yankees… and the next day… and the next. 2130 games later they were calling Gehrig “The Iron Horse”.

What occurred on June 12, 2017 won’t reverberate quite as much across American Sports History. It won’t need to. They already call BobLee “The Internet Legend”.

Yours truly went an entire pre-season – regular season and playoffs without watching a NBAsingle solitary minute of The National Basketball Association.

It wasn’t a “boycott”…“girlcott” or “transgendercott”. There was no economic purpose nor a political purpose… really, there wasn’t. I never set out “to do it”. The feat was not “climbing Everest because it was there”.

The response to “Why BobLee Way?” is uncharacteristically terse.

 

“I simply didn’t give a rat’s ass.”

 

Luckily I had thought to copyright that phrase for t-shirts, bumper stickers and lapel buttons.

A young crop duster named Bruce did manage to secure the right to sky write “The Phrase” over Kenan Memorial Stadium later this Fall.

NBA Commissioner, Duke Alum, suspected interplanetary alien from some galaxy far far away and notorious “very Adam Silververy strange-looking goober” Adam Silver was (almost) speechless upon hearing of the feat.

“We, the Association, are prepared financially to withstand this symbolic kick to our solar plexus… assuming of course it does not spread beyond this one solitary individual. If it does spread however it could – nay, it definitely would – be devastating. Does Mr. BobLee know I rescheduled our All-Star game to Charlotte?”

Told that their research revealed that BobLee had never attended an NBA game in Charlotte… EVER. Or even been tempted to do so… Silver decided not to pursue that angle.

A sidenote to that research… at some point around 2001-2002 an article had appeared on BobLeeSays wondering if former Hornets coach Dick Harter had (1) ever forgiven his parents for naming him, and (2) if his name had helped or hindered his college dating success… (3) had he ever met former NASCAR driver Dick Trickle?

Adam Silver chuckled at that one.

News of BobLee’s “not a boycott, just 100% apathy” spread like chlamydia in a WNBA locker room.

The immediate fear for ESPN CEO John Skipper (UNC’75) was, of course, would this interfere with his and Jamele Hill’s plan for a week-long on-air marathon about How Much Steph Curry Hates Donald Trump… And Why YOU Should Hate Him Too.

CEO Skipper intends to open the 24/7 marathon  with the Hank Williams Jr MNF theme to PROVE – “I don’t hate all Trump supporters; well actually I do… but my bosses at Disney told me to say that, so I did.”

An emergency “what to do” meeting with Skipper, Ms Hill, Bomani Jones, Chelsea Clinton and a “famous rapper” named Famous Rapper was held in a Bristol CT Starbucks… to be continued.

Life goes on per usual for the focus of all this hubbub.

Returning from a quick flight to St.Louis where he and Cardinals owner Bill DeWitt met “behind closed doors” for “about 40 minutes”. Aides for DeWitt believe DeWitt was asking BobLee’s opinion on switching the slumping team to “long pants” versus knickers. The two men remain “mum” on particulars.

Whats next?… The answer to that question was found in a quiet residential neighborhood in Beaumont Texas with an elderly gentleman CallSign “Coach”. A media siege of “Coach’s” compound did produce a formal written statement delivered without comment by a polite lady identified only as “Judy”.

***

This has gone far enough. I will not have you blow-dried human hairballs bothering my dear friends with this silliness.

I do not give a rat’s ass about The NBA… PERIOD. I do not care who the MVP is. I do not care who The G.O.A.T. is. I certainly do not care what Steph Curry, Steve Kerr, Gregg Popovich or whoever Rihanna is thinks about anything.

For those of you hell bent to find a racial component in this… I have not watched an NHL game in going on six years. Is Boom Boom Geoffrion still playing?…

I did not watch more than ten minutes of any NFL game last Fall until the Playoffs…

I would not watch ANY level of “girls’ basketball” regardless of sexual orientation even under threat of having to be in the same room with Congresswoman Maxine Waters and/or Senator John “Songbird” McCain.

I have not watched five minutes of any PGA Tour event other than the final two rounds of The Masters. I “might” watch the final round of The US Open. I haven’t decided yet. Does either The LPGA or The Champions Tour still exist? Prove it.

I have NEVER been tempted to watch whatever UFC is.

I could not name three members of Royz Boyz until the 2nd round of March Madness.

The last spectator to leave the last NASCAR race, please turn out the lights and lock up.

I have not watched “a late-night talk show” since Johnny Carson and The Matinee Lady “cutoff their Slawsons” with the fork in the road.

I have no plans to meet with Adam Silver until he produces proof that he was not hatched. I am confident he cannot do that.

Now leave these dear people alone… or I will tell Judy she does not have to “be nice”. You really don’t want me to do that.

BobLee

***

UPDATE re: The Fabulous Comparato Twins- Nicole & Paige.

When I last reported “The Fabs” were kickin’ butts & takin’ names at Univ of Miami Law School.

In true Fabs fashion… Paige was Valedictorian of their 250 member Law School class. Nicole was “only #4” but was Editor of the Law Review. They are joining competing prestigious Miami law firms where both will be phenomenally successful litigators.

With at least two more vacancies expected on the SCOTUS in the next seven years of The Trump Dynasty… it is reasonable to expect even greater achievements for – The Incredible Amazingly Marvelous Fabulous Comparato Twins. You Go Girls!

***

Oh.. Oh… Speaking of twins: Have I told “you people” that Kid and “Reverend Danny” are expecting TWINS in December / January. They are. Rev. Danny IS a twin.

###

More BobLee Incredible Insights on Redbird Rants – LINK

BobLee
  • Down East Heel Reply
    4 months ago

    Count me as another member of the “Haven’t watched a minute of an NBA game” club. I haven’t watched a minute of a game since….well, I honestly don’t remember. I have no clue what I’ll watch when the College World Series is over. Will probably continue my trek down your favorite authors list in lieu of the tube.

    Congrats on the twins. Still waiting for that on my end. All in due time.

    Please tell me the FCT’s will not represent liberal scumbags. From what you have written about them I think that is a safe bet. I was going to say Dirtbags instead of scum bags but I didn’t want to diss the Long Beach State baseball team.

    • BobLee Reply
      4 months ago

      The Fabs are “quite right”. One of their MANY wonderful attributes. I suspect they will simply strive to insure “liberty and justice for all: …. God Bless us everyone one Tiny Tim.
      .
      Our little NO-NBA club is many not so little any more.

      • Ben in MO Reply
        4 months ago

        Last I recall, I watched the NBA playoff finals in 1996. I was in Hong Kong at the time and it was the only thing on in English…and it was way too hot to go out during the middle of the day (“and in Hong Kong they sound a gong and shoot off a noonday gun…only mad dogs and Englishmen go out in the midday sun.) I did watch some of the NCAA tournament, usually the ACC games. I have learned over the years that the last five minutes of almost any game provide all the drama and, of course, the resolution. Always loved to play baseball, but never liked watching it that much until the playoffs. When you’re the second-best second baseman, you get to watch a lot – if they had allowed girls to play back then, I would have been the third-best, and our starter would have been sitting beside me. She carried the Tomboy stage to its logical conclusion. The MLB season is so long and so many teams are out of it before the all-star break that individual games don’t seem to matter. My sports scores app – The Score – doesn’t even have an NCAA baseball selection on it, so it takes some gumption to find out what’s going on in college baseball – sometimes I have it and sometimes I don’t.

        • BobLee Reply
          4 months ago

          It IS hard to find NCAA baseball results until the CWS. I don’t know why. Not too many AfAm or lesbians play so I guess “they” figure no one cares. OUCH!
          .
          Judging from the comments to this column, I might have made more of an impact if I HAD watched ten NBA games.

  • UNCBlue Reply
    4 months ago

    Absolutely right about NBA! 30 for 30 has new episodes on Celtics versus Lakers. Thoroughly enjoyed. Maybe cause it was a “trip down memory lane” but also because that style of basketball was what we all grew up with before stupid 3 point shot. Boring!
    Looking forward to your pro sports predictions.

    • BobLee Reply
      4 months ago

      Longing for the days of Bob Cousey’s bounce passes… and Dolph Schayes’ 2-handed set shots.

  • Former96heel Reply
    4 months ago

    Once you step away, you never miss any of it. It is only entertainment. Personally, I think the constant hype far overpowers those few moments of true drama.
    .
    I can’t wait to read what your view of the future holds for sports. The way America digests TV has changed so rapidly in the past decade. I find it hard to believe that there will still be enough money out there for a local TV deal to put a random Tuesday night Hornets game on against an equally uncompetitive team. Same goes for the Hurricanes. Once viewership goes below 20,000, isn’t the channel better suited selling the time to Thighmaster ads?

    • BobLee Reply
      4 months ago

      I’ve had that piece “in development” for quite some time. I want it to elicit just the right amount of self-righteous indignation from Kennel.
      .
      Were those Suzanne Somers Thighmaster commercials the soft porn equivalent of Marie Osmonds’ NutriSystem ads?
      .
      Such major socio-cultural shifts used to take 10-15 years to resonate… now that is reduced to 3-5 years at most.

  • NCSU68Grad Reply
    4 months ago

    Good Column, BL
    Congrats on the upcoming event. I decided to retire early to babysit the new little girl and her 3 YO brother. That was something that I cherish. Who knows…you might decide to move…with your new gig and the Mega Bucks that you are getting paid.
    .
    I like your “Cott” play on words. I guess, technically, “Trans” takes care of the alternative gender. No need to further refine it with L, B, Q, X, etc.
    .
    Each of us has our interests….and our likes and dislikes. Steph’s comments don’t do anything to make me hold him in higher esteem. Same for Kerr and Popoffvalve. King James has been dethroned and will probably start to have the afflictions of a soon-to-be Has Been NBA star. Hopefully, he will go out with poise and dignity like Duncan did. They pulled it off last year….not so this year. They DID keep a record from being set…so they have one little trophy. AND they are the second best in the NBA. Now the NBA and the NHL will fade into their own summer oblivion…as they always do. Watched maybe 10 minutes of maybe 8 or so games….put the timer on and ZZZZZZZZZ
    .
    Wonder if Steph and Kerr would accept President Pence’s invitation to the WH? He NOW has a personal outside counsel.
    .
    I can NOT picture BK in an ORANGE jumpsuit. He would probably try to grab the Kapitol Kop’s Taser and hold them off.
    .
    Will await your upcoming renderings on Kathy Griffin and Rachael MadAllTheTIme’s comments on their martyred poster boy, James Hodgkinson, and Ricky, “I never saw those young ladies” Pitino….and the precedent that might have been set for the final curtain of TGU…
    Have fun. Keep clicking the keys…

    • BobLee Reply
      4 months ago

      Fans do love putting their heroes on pedestals so they have farther to fall when they knock
      em off.

  • Doug Reply
    4 months ago

    I do enjoy watching the skill of the NBA game but am never concerned about or pay attention the storylines, politics, or off-court hijinks. The NBA game completely outshines the NCAA men’s game from a pure basketball standpoint. Less ticky tack fouls, flops, faux charging calls, awkward replay system, teams winning or losing scoring 51 points, coaches inserting themselves unnecessarily in the contest. The current NCAA MBB game is unwatchable for me. Fans have to be watching something I can’t see or are just pulling for team to beat a hated rival. I’ve been to one NBA game in my life, about 5 years ago, and zero NCAA MBB games since the early 90’s. I enjoy any football game, college or pro, on TV only. I still can not get interested in MLB on TV but enjoy baseball games sitting in a ball park.

    Congratulations to all paw paw. Both my mom and wife were identical twins. MamaMel and I hit three singles and the oldest and D-I-L has our first GK – another one bagger – coming in October.

    • BobLee Reply
      4 months ago

      I’m the opposite with MLB. I think a MLB ballpark is “a Splendid Cathedral of Sports” to simply walk into and BEHOLD the beauty and symmetry of it all … but I am way too spoiled with modern TV graphics etc to watch MLB in a grandstand. The “go with your buddies and pig out on hotdogs and beer and BS” is fine. I get that.
      .
      I acknowledge that NBA athletes are amazing to do what they do at their size… personified by LeBron James and a Curry draining 3 pt bombs from mid court is amazing … but the whole “drama diva” crap lost me. I think you are correct re: College MBB… it’s all about bragging rights for fans. If my team beats your team I don’t care how the game was played I WON!! …. NFL like NBA is way too much 24/7 High Drama Diva crap.

  • BobLee Reply
    4 months ago

    It’s 2:30 PM Thurs… I decided to reread this column to see if I ever said, or implied to a rational person’s perspective, that I “HATED” any of these sports or the individuals who play, coach or own them. I could find no direct or implied use of that oft-used emotion by today’s “media”.
    .
    I did use “hate” twice in the fictitious John Skipper quote. If Mr Skipper (UNC’75) objects, I ain’t that hard to find for him or his legal team.
    .
    I do plan an upcoming docu-column on what I foresee as the future of certain Major Sports in America culture. I believe in less than five years, certainly with ten, there will be MAJOR sea-changes in both Basketball and Football and even a very noticeable and dramatic change in Baseball.
    .
    I DO possess the emotion of “Hate”, as I define it, but use it very sparingly. I assume most/all of you do too. I certainly don’t waste it on something as frivolous as what I watch on TV. That would be stoopid.

  • The.Fabs.In.Miami Reply
    4 months ago

    Thanks so much for the shout out!! So sweet!! And please tell you-know-who thank you and hello for us, that means a lot!

    • BobLee Reply
      4 months ago

      Praise well-earned you delightful little debbils you. I can’t wait for The Fabs Reality Show.

  • JD Reply
    4 months ago

    But you do enjoy the Lebron vs Jordan debate right? LOL

    • BobLee Reply
      4 months ago

      AS much I enjoyed the Westbrook v Hardin debate for six months. With the NBA its always all about “you disrespecting me you MoFo….”. I really not into all that.

  • Bob Kennel Reply
    4 months ago

    Because this comment will probably not get through, it will be short. Don’t save your best and most cogent comment until last 😎 Go TWINS !!!
    We’ll find what you do enjoy in life when they get here. Agent Pierce a Grandfather, now that may be a moderating force 🤓

    • BobLee Reply
      4 months ago

      “probably not get through…” Why not? Were you afraid Prez Trump’s Russkie pals highjacked it?
      .
      Lucky for me and millions of others on the planet, the “things we can/do enjoy in life” is somewhat different from your restrictive list, apparently.
      .
      AgentPierce sends his regards. The responsibilities of grandchildren intensifies his commitment to see that you and yours are totally devoid of any influence whatsoever in American Life. He asked if you were arrested last week with your pal “Bully”. I assured him that if you had been you woulda been on here bragging about it. You’d look good in an orange jumpsuit BK. 🙂

  • TarSpartan Reply
    4 months ago

    If Nicole is editor of the Law Review, that means she has published a paper, right? You and I both know that isn’t always a pre-requisite to being editor. 😉

    In all seriousness, I stopped watching the playoffs when Kawhii Leonard got hurt the second time, but I confess to being a Spurs homer.

    • BobLee Reply
      4 months ago

      You know I USED TO BE a Spurs fan going back to Ice Man and The Admiral. Alas, Popp going “Full bore Ol’ Roy on steroids” kinda unSpurred fan” me. Nicole and Paige give “High achievers” a whole new meaning.

      • TarSpartan Reply
        4 months ago

        Understood — I place Pop’s comments in the Ol’Roy category and go about my life. It’s not like we have anything else to be a fan of in San Antonio.

        • BobLee Reply
          4 months ago

          Popp did not just blurt… he went full-scale screaming. Caught me by surprise in his voracity.

  • Mayberry Jim Reply
    4 months ago

    FWIW I don’t care even more than you don’t care.

    • BobLee Reply
      4 months ago

      I am quite sure we are not alone in our “don’t care”.

  • BT.in.Charlotte Reply
    4 months ago

    are you equally enamored with ice hockey?

    • BobLee Reply
      4 months ago

      THat’s a different and unusual apathy. I tried to get into it. The local Hurricane folks are nice and behave themselves (very important if you want me to like you) but I couldn’t do it. I have good friends who LOVE IT and I respect their LOVE of it… but just not my cuppa tea.

  • Terri.In.Lenoir Reply
    4 months ago

    One of my special little pleasures is scouring your columns for that special obtuse line or phrase that I am sure no one but me “gets”. I pretend you included it as a secret gift just for me. I loved this one…
    .
    “… and a famous rapper named Famous Rapper” – I love it. Thanks.

    • BobLee Reply
      4 months ago

      And so much for “our little secret”!
      .
      FWIW… I liked that one too. I had a line in the latest RedbirdRant about “the chaplain at Huntsville Prison watching executions” that you might like too.

  • BobLee Reply
    4 months ago

    Some of you MAY encounter “server issues” getting to this site for a few days. If you are experiencing “issues” you probably aren’t even reading this. If so, do this…
    .
    Clear the cache on your browser of choice and reenter bobleesays.com. …. and add that to your Bookmarks replacing the older one. If you have no clue what “cache” or “browser” is ask anyone under the age of 25 or your friendly local librarian.
    .
    Our AMAZING new SuperServer will be mucho faster and far less likely to “go down”… but there are, alas, possible issues here at the restart.
    .
    If you can’t get here… or read this… email me at boblee@bobleesays.com and I will explain what a librarian used to be.

    • Captain Arctic Reply
      4 months ago

      Bob – let me first say how much I enjoy your columns. You SO get it!! That being said, “Internet Legends” are not made to have “Server Issues.”

      • BobLee Reply
        4 months ago

        You got that right. Fully 70% of my obscenity vocabulary is computer-related. I checked and strangling a computer-tech is NOT a crime today.

        • Captain Arctic Reply
          4 months ago

          Ha! I’m right there with you on the strangling the computer. If law is put in place, we can try and see if we can get some kind of grandfather law.

          • BobLee
            4 months ago

            Actually I have a great Tech support team now… but I’ve had a few not-so-great ones over the years. I’m not talking about Habib in some telephone boiler room in New Delhi who claims his name is Jerry in Omaha. That crap is a whole other story.
            .
            IMO the biggest issues with “techs” is a sincere desire to solve your problem… not show you how powerless you are without them. They never had a prom date or pubic hair but they know more IT crap that you /I care to know.
            .
            The guys at SolutionsITS in Wake Forest are #1 – AAA.

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