Is St. Louis Cardinals Nation difficult to describe? In a classic poem six blind men examine an elephant coming away with six different opinions of what an elephant (i.e. fan base) looks like.
Did you think this classic poem and this post was about umpires? Or The St. Louis Cardinals coaching staff?
Those who live and breathe Cardinals baseball 25/8 are bumfuzzled these days. The team is playing mediocrely at best with frequent bouts of gosh awful.
The “really serious Cardinal fan” faction is agonizing over “slash lines” and WHIPS and WAR. May God Almighty strike me dead if I ever care about “slash lines.” I am ashamed to admit I do know what slash lines are. I also know what golden showers and dildos are but that doesn’t make me a better person.
If the day-to-day fortunes of Cardinals Baseball is either #1 or #2 on your daily priority list… Life really sucks for you these days. The next three months might be circling the drain.
I read recently that Cardinals Twitter-verse is a raging dumpster fire. The twitter-ites are DEMANDING SOMETHING BE DONE NOWwith suggestions aplenty what the somethings better be.
The names Mike Matheny, John Mabry and John Mozeliak preceded by various obscenities proliferate across that post-apocalyptic cyber wasteland.
Are beady eyed little twitter-ites a typical Heartland family enjoying a ballgame in Busch Stadium? YIKES!
Is tying one’s self-worth to the fate of any sports team a valid recipe for an orderly life?
Last week an innocent man was shot on a baseball field in Virginia by a sicko from Belleville, Il who “spent a lot of time on Twitter and Facebook.” Perhaps you heard about it.
Back to our elephant. Cardinals Nation is envied by sports marketers across the country for its steadfast loyalty to those “birds on the bat” and the men who wear them.
A proud tradition going back over eighty years from Honus Wagner to Paul DeJong… and the Busch Family and the Clydesdales.
Yes, there IS a faction of goggle-eyed, spittle-spewing, hair-on-fire whack-a-doodles out there banging ALL-CAPS rants at 3 AM. Social media gives us a peek into their dark scary world. Is that your world?
I’m going to boldly predict this just ain’t our year. Pretty bold, huh? Want more bold insights from BobLee Says? – LINK.
So you want to be a constipated twittering whack-a-doodle? Easy. (1) hit CAPSLOCK on your keyboard… (2) conjure up a conspiracy wherein Bill DeWitt is responsible for your personal happiness… and (3) VOILA. You too can be “a real fan” who “isn’t going to take this anymore.” May God have mercy on your tortured soul.
