BobLee’s 2017 Football Column: A Sad Scene in Kenan Stadium

Kenan Football Stadium
BobLee
August31/ 2017

BobLee’s 2017 Football Column:

… a very Sad Scene in Kenan Stadium

I am going straight to Hell without passing GO or getting the chance to put on asbestos underwear. I just did something very naughty. I click-baited you.

“….A Sad Scene in Kenan Stadium” guarantees me every ABCer in the Western Hemisphere is reading this.

The title NEKKID HOMICIDAL LESBIAN CHEERLEADERS would get fewer clicks.

I AM going to describe a sad scene I have witnessed often in Kenan Stadium; but it occurs in every stadium in America including yours.

As many of you recall I used to do a UNC FB pre-game show on WCHL with “my buddy Art Chansky”. We did it for three seasons which was 2.5 seasons longer than I ever imagined it could survive.

Moi with a live mic and a WCHL audience was “juggling a live hand grenade, in the dark, wearing oven mitts, while riding a unicycle”. “Jan The GM” only had to sincerely apologize to two advertisers, that I know of, and they were very small accounts. Those were “interesting seasons”.

Since I was already over yonder, I agreed to host the UNC Football Lettermen’s Lounge a/k/a “The Choo Choo Lounge” which is  located inside the South Gate of Beautiful Kenan Stadium. I could stand in the CCL doorway and watch fans Lettermen Loungeentering/leaving the stadium.

Ever alert for column fodder I was fascinated by the swarms of humanity passing before me.

It was one very very VERY HOT September Saturday that I first met The Fabulous Comparato Twins – Nicole & Paige and Mother Comparato. They appeared at “my door” in the early stages of acute heat prostration. I took them in, nursed them back to health and made three friends for life.  A highlight of that era of my life. … I digress…

EVERY Kenan Game over the 5-6 years that I managed The CCL, I watched dads with young sons and daughters, often with mom too but not always. For the purpose of this sad tale, the kids were in the 5-6-7-8 years old range.

Dad (and Mom) in their mid-late 30s, him maybe an attorney, accountant, or Produce Mgr at a Harris-Teeter. A scene right out of “a Hallmark Movie does College FB”…

Dad was proudly bringing his kids to a Carolina Football game like his dad had brought him… and like he attended when he matriculated there.

Dad would be in his “I’m a UNC Fan” gear and the son and/or daughter also bedecked as Little UNC Fans. You get the scenario. Substitute your team’s fans.

Arriving at the game the family was optimistically upbeat. Dad, as family Alpha Dog, studying his tickets for the correct gate / section, and checking for the need for a potty stop before going to their seats. The kid/kids wide-eyed in awe… overwhelmed by the bustling humanity… while holding tight to Dad’s hand.

They disappeared into the crowd as the festivities commenced…

In the early years of The Fedora Era losses were more common than they have been lately. It was upon those occasions when the final score was NOT UNC-friendly that our Norman Rockwell painting went askew.

After a Loss…our nice little family wasn’t quite the same… Same family, but Dad’s demeanor had totally changed. “Dr Jekyl” Dad had become “Mr Hyde” Dad.

Dad WAS PISSED! He was pissed at the Head Coach, one/both Coordinators, the refs and maybe both a nickel back and the deep snapper. You could read his lips…. Mad Football Dad

“Same Ol ^&^%$#* Carolina Football blah blah yadda yadda, gripe, gripe….”

The son and/or daughter were caught between still being excitedly overwhelmed by the humanity… and being ashamed of their dad.

I’ll never forget one little towhead about 6-7 looking at me forlornly as Mr Hyde Dad was cussing and stomping trying to navigate the exiting crowd who, like the crooked refs and stoopid coordinators, were all conspiring to ruin his day.

It was a look that said “Help me Mister. My dad has gone nuts.  This isn’t fun anymore”.  I gave him a wink and a “Hang in there, Kid” look.

A 6 y/o kid rolling his eyes and shrugging his shoulders… accepting that, for the time being, HE was The Man in the family.

Different families but same sicko scenarios after Kenan losses.  After every Carter-Finley, Wally Wade, or Dowdy-Ficklin Loss too, I bet..

I considered keeping a ball bat or a 3’ piece of rebar handy to beat the crap out of Mr. Hyde Dads but decided it was yet another flaw in humanity beyond my ability to fix.

If reading this keeps YOU from being a Mr. Hyde Dad (or Granddad) maybe it was worth it.

Enjoy all the Color & Pageantry of a Special Day with your family. Stick that pathetic vicarious bragging rights crap where the sun don’t shine.

Oops… I’ve run out of space. I haven’t gone on My Annual Rant about how I care even less about “watching football” this season than I did last season.

The advantage of having one’s own website is that I can do that next time….

OK… I WILL predict that The Men of Doeren will defeat the USC Gamecocks and whoever their coach is these days.  Wuff fans will get overly optimistic for what will be an 8 Win season.   Swoffy still has State firmly embedded in The Division From Hell so it’ll be another Whozit Bowl.

Not sure who UNC plays but they probably win by 10 points.

###

Whatever you do… DON’T READ AGENTPIERCE.  He got too many hits on that TransPark piece.  I need to humble him.  …. Heres the LINK not to click on…

BobLee
  • ultraviolet Reply
    3 weeks ago

    OK you got me. Can you be gentle pulling the hook out?

    • BobLee Reply
      3 weeks ago

      These are competitive times in the on-line commentary bizness…

  • Tin foil hat heel Reply
    3 weeks ago

    Archive and repost at the start of every football season from now til Doomsday, which by my account will fall around 2019..

    Not surprised in the least by the end result of the scoreboard yesterday but was miffed about the manner in which it occurred. Then again THIS IS TARHEEL FOOTBALL. What I found personally amusing is that while the friendly skies of Carolina were making the Cal QB look like the 2nd coming of Joe Kapp and the Golden Bears were chewing up half the final period to put the game away I muttered to myself the question of when is Late Night With Roy?
    .
    Love and behold that info comes creeping along the crawl, good to see the ACCN knows their audience. Speaking of which, if 49500 were allegedly in attendance I have some fine land in Houston I would like to show you.

    • BobLee Reply
      3 weeks ago

      I HEREBY PREDICT… The ONLY times Kenan Stadium will EVER be “above 50,000” will be every two years when NC State visits. Hell, above 45,000…
      .
      Joe Kapp! YIKES, that is a stretch. Aaron Rogers weeps…

      • Tin foil hat heel Reply
        3 weeks ago

        You obviously forgot ND comes calling, that actually will be a tough ticket as the Domers will overtake Kenan.

        • BobLee Reply
          3 weeks ago

          MAYBE… not a guarantee. Other possibility is VaTech. They travel very well.

  • JP Reply
    3 weeks ago

    The last college football game I saw was Navy – Notre Dame, about thirty years ago. Navy lost. As a former enlisted man, I approve of middies getting the snot knocked out of them as a necessary training tool, but watching it is tedious. Now, if they bring in wooden broadswords and rocks, then I might watch.

    • BobLee Reply
      3 weeks ago

      Joe Bellino… Roger Staubach !!!

  • Doug Reply
    3 weeks ago

    Saturday down south – Some people think football is a matter of life and death. I assure you, it’s much more serious than that.

    • BobLee Reply
      3 weeks ago

      May God have mercy on their tortured souls. I’ll check in on UNC-Cal, NCS-SoCar, and FSU-Ala “because”… but just “because”.

  • Mayberry Jim Reply
    4 weeks ago

    Because my older brother was a freshman at UNC I attended a FB game in Kenan with my parents in 1964 at about 13 years of age. I don’t think it was a sellout but there was a pretty good crowd. Our seats were fairly near the top on about the 40 or so. It was a beautiful day. Midway in the first quarter someone threw a toilet paper roll in the air which partially unfurled and landed elsewhere in the stands. Of course someone else picked it up and the process repeated. I had never seen such revelry, and it appeared somewhat naughty but also kinda neat. On the 4th or 5th arc, it landed next to me. I excitedly grabbed what was left, and gave it a mighty heave. In about 20 seconds, a student usher wearing Carolina colors emphatically scolded me, which was humiliating to say the least. I have never been back there, and I hate Carolina to this day. ABC!

    • BobLee Reply
      4 weeks ago

      YIKES! Think how History was changed by that singular incident? …. “for wont of a nail a shoe was lost….” 🙂

      • Mayberry Jim Reply
        4 weeks ago

        The usher didn’t go after any of the other people who threw the roll (rolls actually). Maybe they were too far down in the stands and it was too much trouble to go down there, or maybe they were the cool kids – also students. Maybe he was afraid of them. I was easy pickings since we were near the top where the ushers stand and I was just a little kid. Classic case of give someone little authority and suddenly he’s a tough guy, at least to the little people. It seemed like such a harmless thing to do then, and it still does now.

        • BobLee Reply
          4 weeks ago

          I’m sure we’ve all been abused by petty authority figures in similar such situations. Not sure it should be an indictment of UNCCH as an institution. I doubt the usher was under orders to single you out for rebuke… but maybe.

    • ultraviolet Reply
      3 weeks ago

      You should’ve told that student usher what to do with his safety patrol sash.

  • OldWuf Vet Reply
    4 weeks ago

    I’ve attended FB Games at CF sporadically over the years since I lost my free tickets as a student years ago. Took the kids a few times. Worst experience was the Dayton loss during Chuck the Chest’s farewell season. Had some spoiled, very drunk twenty-somethings behind us that had gotten daddy’s company tickets. They cursed and carried on the whole time; thankfully they were so drunk they didn’t find their way back after halftime. I had both kids with me so I could only cover the youngest ones ears. One of my vet school classmates offered me tickets and parking spot last season. My wife enjoyed the tailgating so much she wanted to try season tickets this year. So, you know where I’ll be next Saturday. I don’t expect her infatuation to last past this season, we’ll see. We’re pretty far from f-bomb alley, so if you are lost around the fairgrounds on a Saturday this fall, look us up. We’ll have plenty of Lexington BBQ and sweet tea

    • BobLee Reply
      4 weeks ago

      Was that Dayton or Akron? One of those whozit Ohio cities ??? Was that the one when Chuck said they (Akron) had an unfair recruiting advantage over him? … Tailgating is IMO the ONLY reason to attend a college FB game versus watching it on TV. … I applaud Frau / Randy for abolishing F-Bomb Alley.

      • OldWuf vet Reply
        4 weeks ago

        Good catch! It was the Akron Zips. Shows you the impression the actual game left on me…..
        My 30+yrs experience of being married to this wonderful woman tells me that she’ll be with me at 2, maybe 3 games at best. Then I’ll take my hunting buddy or I’ll give them to my barber and make his day. And that’ll end our era as season ticket holders

        • BobLee Reply
          4 weeks ago

          Blondie won’t even consider going to any FB game without (1) VIP Suite and (2) VIP Parking Pass. If it passes those two tests, we get into “where” and “what time”. She could care less “who’s playing”. “Who is inviting us” is also a factor, but that hurdle is usually jumped before I even run it by her.
          .
          Since the last four games we’ve attended have met that criteria, I’ve pretty well settled on her criteria as mine too. I totally appreciate that MOST people have much less restrictive criteria.

  • NCSU68Grad Reply
    4 weeks ago

    First CF game – Dookie – cira 1957 or so. Dook invited every NC HS band that had more than 25 members. Filled the field as well as a little of the stands. Sparse crowd back then. Can still remember the notes to the Dook fight song.
    Second CF game – NCSU circa 1960 – Gabe was playing. Now 77 and in poor health.
    THEN…1963. NCSU games in rickety Riddick. You HAD to have a Camel Blazer (from the Varsity Men’s Wear shop on Hillsborough St) with an NCSU “Crest” (free if you paid cash). Folks back then dressed up more for FB games than they do to attend a State Funeral today.
    Still have a choice parking site at CF. Right down from where a friend brings in his “WP Mobile”. Last year he had an ice sculpture and two paid bar tenders (for Homecoming). He does attract quite a slew of former WP players of all sports. You can get pictures or autographs and such.
    USC vs NCSU – BL, you have more faith than moi. Going to GS’s XC track meet instead. Will carry a headset so I can listen to the radio if there is a local station.
    The UNC “contest”. Only UNC would schedule such a fiasco….so that you and the other pundits could write trobes about it….Snowflake Kickoff is my candidate for naming it. Little Blue Smurfette will be on the VISITOR’s Side soaking up the liberalism….and recharging her ANTIFA battery pack. Gotta LOVE IT….
    This is the game where I hope the players do the “Little Black Sambo Tiger Rag…..” I’ll pay for the removal of the remains…

  • Dandy.Don Reply
    4 weeks ago

    BobLee’s Official Football Column did not step on MY toes. No Sireee!
    .
    Because I don’t take my grandkids to games in Kenan Stadium. Least not very often. They’re too busy living their own lives and playing their own games. But when I do, I do behave. 😂
    .
    I only act like a jerk when I’m there with Ole BC or LRP or Wuff Pack or Dookie types. Or when the Heels are playing Miami on national tv on a Thursday night and the Heels are tied or lead the game all night until the final 16 stinkin’ seconds and then blow an 11 point lead. Dadgumit!!! (Expletive deleted! ☹️)
    .
    But otherwise, I am a scholar and a gentleman, even “a Carolina gentleman,” and a fabulous role model for all kids and young people.

    • BobLee Reply
      4 weeks ago

      So long as Little Ricky vouches for you, you pass.
      .
      I still think I shoulda cracked a few Jackass Dads’ heads and let’em bleed out by the South Gate as a Grim Reminder of the fate awaiting Jackass Dads.

  • myowngrandpaw Reply
    4 weeks ago

    College game day has gone the way of the Airlines. Repainting the numbers to the aluminum benches to ADD more seats. I would be happy with an 17″ (787s aircraft) seat at Carter. EVERYTHING is attached to a tire store, garbage truck, bank, etc..Money, Money, Money. TV commercials have extended the games from two hours to four. Sorry, my old a… can’t sit there that long, and bathroom breaks have become more frequent!

    It became a CHORE to go cheer on the red and white.

    I do watch, I do care, I do dislike UNC fans(including my side of the family that still live in Chapel Hill), I do think college football beats the socks off the NFL, but I long for the days of JUST A FOOTBALL game. Then afterwards heading to the frat for a party. Tough to party on a THURSDAY night after the game is over at MIDNIGHT.

    College football USED to be for the college kids. Now everyone wants to be NATIONAL. People think EVERYONE should be pulling for THEIR college. After all, did they not see that great game on TV.

    Does anyone think Dave Doeren would don the red tie ever again, if Notre Dame or Michigan came calling?

    Never bought into the Wolfpack Club, season tickets, or do or die for the old Red and White. I gave enough money to NC STATE with my $168 per semester tuition and $217 room at Tucker.

    • BobLee Reply
      4 weeks ago

      Is Tucker Dorm still around? I recall helping my cousin move in there in 1963.
      .
      In an upcoming column we’ll discuss how the differences between college / NFL are disappearing. The NFL is not going away but its HeyDay as The Sport America Revolves Around has passed… for a combo of reasons.
      .
      My personal feelings about “going to a game” are well known and being reaffirmed with each passing season.

      • myowngrandpaw Reply
        4 weeks ago

        Tucker was RENOVATED last year! Looks just the same.

        Tucker, Owen, and three tri-towers, Bowen, Metcalf, Carroll. ALL there.
        The site of the big STREAK 1975(?) 280!

        • BobLee Reply
          4 weeks ago

          Let’s hope Mr Tucker never owned slaves…. 😎

          • myowngrandpaw
            4 weeks ago

            I am more worried about a student throwing a banana peel on the ground! They will have to cancel classes!

  • FightingBobKennel, Jr. Reply
    4 weeks ago

    Just so everyone knows, I invented Dr. Jekyll. AND Mr. Hyde.

    • BobLee Reply
      4 weeks ago

      Of course you did. I’ve seen that picture of you and Robert Louis Stevenson deciding how to spell Jekyll with one “l” or two.

  • Lakepacker Reply
    4 weeks ago

    it is amazing that age has a way of making those losses seem less important. Quality time with kids and grandkids just makes for a fun afternoon or evening. Or maybe as Pack fans we have become accustomed to the same old, same old. However, there is always next year. But wait, next year is here, at least for now.

    • BobLee Reply
      4 weeks ago

      The color and pageantry of a Big Time Coll FB game is like a Circus for a little kid. Hell, it should be “like a Circus” to everybody. Tying one’s self-worth to a semi-literate 18 y/o just never seemed a very wise thing to do.
      .
      LakePacker, I assume you saw AP’s EXPOSE piece on Global TransPark… you got any salient thoughts?

      • Lakepacker Reply
        4 weeks ago

        I drove the FH Parkway last Saturday on my way from visiting a friend to Ken’s. I never saw another car but it did get me to my BBQ faster. When I got to Ken’s, someone out front was doing a survey about the upcoming Kinston by-pass. When she said it would not even begin until 2025, I said it just was not a concern to me. I go out of my way to get to Ken’s now so a little highway is not going to stop me.

        • BobLee Reply
          4 weeks ago

          I thought Ken’s was between the Goldsboro bypass and the proposed Kinston bypass?? What day is Fish Stew Day at Ken’s? I still wonder how Wilber’s will survive without bypass traffic?

          • Lakepacker
            4 weeks ago

            Friday is fish stew day. I think Ken’s would be affected as there would be no stoplights on what I believe the new by-pass would cover.

          • UNCBlue
            3 weeks ago

            Always thought BJ’s to be superior BBQ but now it’s changed. Woe is me!

          • BobLee
            3 weeks ago

            The evolution pro/con of one’s lifetime “my BBQ place” can be traumatic. Hold fast to the memory “back when” …. 🙂

          • UNCBlue
            3 weeks ago

            But the BEST I ever had was from the short lived Chaps in Ktown. There demise always seemed odd to me.

  • Former96heel Reply
    4 weeks ago

    Oh my the fb expectations are way too high there right now. I have no idea who is on the team now, but I do know most of the skill positions left last year. It has the potential to be a banner year for Mr Hyde fans amongst the pines. Lots of blame to be placed around.
    .
    Out of curiosity, I think they play odu on the road this year. What compels them to schedule that??? That stinks of a bad road loss early in the year to me.

    • BobLee Reply
      4 weeks ago

      You mean “amid Kenan’s lofty pines”? I can’t imagine why they would be high with all the skill losses? The ODU Away game was probably a 3-1 deal from 7-8 years ago. 3 games in Kenan and 1 game wherever ODU is.

  • JD Reply
    4 weeks ago

    Cal Berkeley vs NC Chapel Hill on Saturday. Should it be called the Snowflake Bowl, Marxist Bowl , or Resist Bowl? Anyone standing for the Star Spangled Banner will be pepper sprayed by your local Antifa members. For halftime entertainment Silent Sam will be brought to the 50 yard line and spray painted with last year’s spray paint not needed after losing the Victory Bell. All tickets will be paid for by the “rich” and everyone will have equally terrible seats.

    • BobLee Reply
      4 weeks ago

      I can tell you’ve been working on that for awhile. 🙂
      .
      Kenan fans have always behaved CONTRARY to the UNCCH stereotype… loving “flyovers” and applauding military personnel. Kenan fans are NOT “Chihuahua’s kinda folks AT ALL.

      • JD Reply
        4 weeks ago

        Oh I have been thinking about this matchup since the schedule came out LOL! Both teams will receive trophies after the game and no score will be kept. Bernie Sanders should be brought in to flip the EBT card to decide who receives the kick off. Will I be safe wearing my TRUMP 2020 shirt to the game?

        • BobLee Reply
          4 weeks ago

          Wasn’t “Chapel Hill VS Berkeley” in danger of being CXL until the NCGA sorta kinda didn’t really CXL HB2 ? Will halftime be a Marching Tar Heels tribute to Joan Baez?

          • JP
            3 weeks ago

            Marching bands are too militaristic. Soon they will be ambling bands, and eventually individual members will just walk onto the field whenever the urge strikes them. I foresee a day where Snowflake U bans uniforms entirely and anyone who shows up can play.

          • BobLee
            3 weeks ago

            PLUS… white folks don’t have rhythm.

  • Elrod Reply
    4 weeks ago

    My very first college FB game was actually in Chapel Hill was around 1960, with my Dad. The Heels won and everyone seemed to be happy. On the way out, we walked past an older man and his wife wearing the other team’s colors. Of course, he was wearing a coat and tie, and she was wearing a real dress, which was normal for that time. Out of the blue comes a couple of strapping young Heel fans, who see the old couple. They proceeded to curse them, then one of the fellows landed a haymaker on the old man’s jaw. You could hear it break immediately. The old man crumpled to the ground, with his wife in hysterics. Dad helped until security help came. The more things change, the more they stay the same.

    You think the ‘Heel dads you wrote about were bad after a FB loss, wait till you see their reaction to the inevitable penalties the COI will bring. Better get all those 6-7-8-9 year olds in a bomb shelter somewhere with ear plugs and their mommas. TGU will become The Great Ungluing.

    • BobLee Reply
      4 weeks ago

      Jackasses at College FB games come in all shapes and sizes.
      .
      As for “After The Hammer Falls”, I think you are underestimating the power of that famous river that surrounds Chapel Hill. You know, “DeNile”.

  • Deacon Reply
    4 weeks ago

    yes I was “click baited”….”cuss words…cuss words….!!!”
    as a Wolfpack’er am hoping you are a good procrastinator
    we’ll see Saturday

    great reminder for us all, it is a game,…actions…to the youngsters do matter…have fun…behave.

    • BobLee Reply
      4 weeks ago

      “The Best Team in The Doeren Era” will win by 2 TDs.
      .
      The type of jackass I am describing NEVER see themselves in these descriptions…. sigh.

  • DM Carpenter Reply
    4 weeks ago

    Goshamighty, I am in position to “one-up” BobLee. My two are 12 and 13, they both play the line. Worse than fan Hyde is Daddy/Momma/Uncle/Grandpa Hyde. Watching a kid see one (or two) of those “cuffed and stuffed” at a club ball game is the absolute nadir. Some people do not have “good sense”, if they could only fake it, at least while the kids are playing.

    • BobLee Reply
      4 weeks ago

      “Little League Parents” are a completely different social disease that should be felonies and carry stiff penalties.

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