BL: A HUMDINGER… and “Skippy” has another bad day at ESPN

John Skipper
BobLee
October27/ 2017

A HUMDINGER of a Ballgame… and

Skippy @ ESPN has ANOTHER Bad Week or so.

IT was a bona-fide HUMDINGER of a Baseball game. … World Series Game Two – Dodgers v World SeriesAstros – Dodger Stadium. Even Kennel didn’t see IT and he’s a Dodger die-hard so I doubt many if any of you saw IT. Did ya’ll know BK taught Roy Campanella how to squat? … I digress.

You know five of My Top Five “Things”:
• Lonesome Dove
• Brunswick Stew
• CHAOS
• Diner Breakfasts
• HUMDINGERS

Road House is in the 2nd Five at #7

Last night (Wed) Game Two did not reach Game Six 2011 (Freese HR) magnitude or Game Seven 1960 (Mazeroski HR) because it was not a DO or Die situation. If it had had that pressure… Lordy Lordy the entire LA electrical grid woulda shut down three times in those last four innings. It was THAT GOOD!

Mary Hart was there. Kate Upton… Payton Manning… “Fernando”… a coupla notorious rappers(??)… and yours truly was glued to my IMac the entire four + hours.

Glued to my IMac ?? Yeah… Raleigh’s #1 Limo Liberal- Jim Goodmon is in a pissin’ contest with ATT Uverse so his NBC and Fox channels are shut-off. Since I’m a MLB.tv guy I went to Plan B which is via my IMac thru MLB.com. Screw you Goodmon… you demented ol’ coot. Where was I?

I don’t have a “my team” in this Series. Nor do I have a “I hate…” team. Apparently having an “I hate…” team is a new rule in Sports Fans Are Stoopid World. I’m not a rules guy. I did not have an emotional investment in the game.

Speaking of “not actually a rule”… Brad Paisley (CW singer) sang the SSB. They didn’t show all 50,000 but it looked like a Baseball game and NOT an NFL game if ya get my drift… and I’m sure you do….   There being a lot of south-of-the-border types in LA, it made sense to ask Jose, can you see…  Apparently Jose could indeed see.  What Jose saw was a HUMDINGER.

I won’t go thru the whole 11 innings just because, but the 8-9-10-11th were “otherworldly”. And I’ve seen a LOT of baseball.

It helps to know a bit about the two team’s personnel and their ups / downs the past several weeks. Then throw all that out… because ZERO of it followed “the script”.

“THE Best Closer in Baseball” got beat like a rented mule. … Several Astros who were “0 for October” found their strokes in those final innings. … A ball bounced off a centerfielder’s cap bill saving a run. … A pick-off throw hit an ump in the leg saving a run. … A banjo-hitting back-up SS with three HRs in two years… went YARD in the 11th and almost hyperventilated running the bases. …. The Dodgers’ Quite Crazy Cuan threw his glove ala Bad News Bears… then hit a monster HR that landed in Bakersfield… then flailed at a slider in the dirt to finally end 4:24 of a HUMDINGER. …Eight HRs were most ever hit in one WS game.

Dodgers were down to their last pitcher. One more inning and they were calling Chelsea Handler’s midget.

Oh… Astros won the first WS game in the history of the franchise 7-6 now head home to Houston tied 1-1.

###

Doeren’s Duel With Destiny in the Shadow of The Golden Dome is gonna have to go a ways to top last night.

My inside sources tell me the Doerenians are forsaking their new traditionl gray-on-gray funeralunis for the old-fashioned white-on-white with Struttin’ Tuffy on their helmets.   No clue who made that call but HUZZA to whoever it was… I’ve always like Struttin’ Tuffy.

###

Meanwhile in the bucolic Sodom & Gomorrah of Bristol Connecticutt…

A bad “seems like forever” got worse… then got worse some more.

Poor Skippy The ESPN CEO, that’s John Skipper (UNC’75) from Lexington NC.

Ya know you’re having a buncha bad days when Harvey Weinstein calls to say he’s “feelin’your pain”… but is not interested in changing places with you.

Bob Iger

Robert Iger is Skippy’s Big boss as honco of Disney. Let’s imagine Iger’s Executive Secretary, Hilda Wiggelburt, having to interrupt her boss…

“Excuse me, Mr. Iger…”
“Yes, Hilda, what is it? Speak up Woman…”
“Yes sir… well sir… I aaahh… there’s ANOTHER sh** storm in Bristol, sir.”

Iger spins in his chair to face out on the Disney back-lot where Pirates of The Caribbean #26 – Jack Sparrow Coaches ECU is wrapping up. He pulls out his fidget and starts fidgeting with it… rubbing his temples.

He reaches for his phone and hits a well-worn number…

“Mr. Skipper office, this is “Terri with an i”. May I help you?”

“Let me speak to that blithering idiot”

Just a moment, sir. Mr. Skipper, it’s for you, It’s Mr. Iger… Again.

“Hey Bob… those Dodgers are really…

“Shut up you burlap sack of flaming incompetence. I want ONE DAY… just 24 little hours without hearing “Mr Iger there’s another sh*t storm in Bristol.” … What is it this time? That sassy little black gal go all Angela Davis on you again?  Skipper, your concept of “diversity” is to have every ethnic group in America hating us… are transgendered Eskimos picketing us … YET?

No sir… Jemele hasn’t done anything too bad since noon our time which is 9 AM your time. Hopefully we get thru one day without another Jemele eruption. … But, uh, since I have you; I am having an issue with a group called Barstool Something or other…”

“What do you call “an issue” you pinhead?”

“Well I signed them to a 20-show deal to do a 2 AM show out-of-the-back-of-a-van … and…”

“Ahhh geeez… let me guess. You had no clue what kind of show they do. They probably are a couple of scruffies in dirty t-shirts who sit around dropping F-bombs, making whoopee cushions jokes and showing pics of skanky gals with big hooters…”

“Ahhh, yes sir. That is what they do. I fired them after one show, but it seems they have “a contract” and we owe them a rather large sum… the equivalent of a few 1,000 cord-cutters.”

“I thought I told you to never mention cord-cutting to me…?  And whats this I’m hearing about some bimbo named Jenn Sterger?  You could screw up a one-car funeral Skippy.”

“Yessir. You did. My bad. I have another idea that might recoup all that though.

“This oughta be a hoot. What is your great idea this time Skippy.”

“I’ve hired Colin Kaepernick’s muslim girlfriend – Nessa – to do a documentary on “How To Bring An America Sports League to Its Knees… Pun Intended”. Clever huh? Mr. Iger? … are you there, Mr Iger?”

“Mr Skipper, Mr Iger hung up. Can I leave early? My plantar fasciitis is acting up.”

… as the sun sets on another day in the bucolic New England community of Bristol.

PS:  Speaking of Tough Jobs… There are 30 MLB teams.  Eight of those 30 “made the playoffs”.  Of those eight.. THREE have now fired the managers that got them there…. Boston, Washington and today – NY Yankees.

###

STOP… Before you wander off… a very important assignment.  Remember that brouhaha about CarolinaPlotthound being killed by that twerp John Hood?  Pierce told us there would a newer version of that UP soon.   As usual AP was “on the money”.  Go over to AgentPierce’s site for details on how it all came together earlier tis week … THEN go over to the new site… AP – 1st … then the new site.

What are you waiting for? Get going...

###

More of BobLee -Link

AgentPierce’s Latest  – LINK

Blondie’s Latest  – LINK

BobLee
  • Gear Up Reply
    3 weeks ago

    Next up for the Big Four football Sleeping Giant status award: Wake Forest.
    Seems the Wolfpack was not up to the task. Big game, big flop. Those “signature wins” over FSU and Louisville look more like forgeries after this weekend. Someone call the FBI, oh wait, they’re busy covering up for The Clintons, Comey and Mueller. UNC playing for pride, almost upsets The U. Look for the Pretenders, not Contenders Wolfpack to drop two of the next four, miss the SWOFF Bowl and get drubbed by CAROLINA in the Peach Bowl. Said Charlie Brown to Lucy and the Wolfpack faithful: “I want my football back.”

    • BobLee Reply
      3 weeks ago

      Too much Gipper today and not enough Hines.

  • fayettewuf Reply
    3 weeks ago

    Speaking of uniform colors, did you notice that UNC decided to confuse Miami by dressing up like Duke today. As for the World Series, I have no dog in the fight either but pull against the Dodgers out of habit and also I like seeing Kate Upton jump for joy. What is your take on the Cuban on Japanese racist gesture incident?

    • BobLee Reply
      3 weeks ago

      Will discuss The Gesture in next column. Ohio State went gray/gray too.

      • fayettewuf Reply
        3 weeks ago

        I am all for people wearing what they like. If the ones that are playing like those outfits, I see no reason that they shouldn’t wear them. I know they kind of remind some folks that they (we) are getting old:-)
        .
        As for the incident, I figured you could get a paragraph or three out of it. It bemuses me that when there is a tempest in a teapot, the true reaction generally is on a range from couldn’t care less to very outraged. My guess is the proportion of the very outraged is very small, but they are the ones that taken to be representative of whole bunch that is mildly disapproving.

        • BobLee Reply
          3 weeks ago

          Alas… that relatively small of Truly Outraged At Everything tends to control the size of Headlines and placement of “news” these days. THAT then tends to truly outrage the rest of us.
          .
          I am getting more than a few paragraph out of this latest tempest in a thimble… See Next BLS Column.

  • Chu Mei Reply
    3 weeks ago

    Baseball – STEROIDS
    Basketball – ELIGIBILITY SCANDAL
    Football – MILLIONAIRE SOCIAL JUSTICE WARRIORS
    Tennis – TRANSGENDER PLAYERS

    What exactly is the American fascination with sports, gun violence, political corruption and societal deviancy?

    – One of the eight billion Chinese followers

    • BobLee Reply
      3 weeks ago

      To be globally correct many/most of those “fascinations” transcend America and might be viewed as exaggerated human frailties. Maybe Sports is a microcosm of society in general? Maybe The Apocalypse is nigh? … it’s been pretty much downhill since Eve took that bite out of the apple.

  • Chip Reply
    3 weeks ago

    I recall Caleb Presley, former UNC football morale coach, is/was one of the Barstool Sports podcasters. Heard him on Adam Carolla and Mark Schlereth’s podcasts. Seems all the podcast one folks have to have each other on.
    Really enjoyed the column on the Pack’s date with destiny. Heading up for the game as I’ve always wanted to go there. Win or lose we’ll have fun.
    I’d actually take your scenario of losing tomorrow and winning the rest through the swofford bowl and losing a New Years game. If Doeren left for greener pastures after that I’d wish him well. Gotta do what’s best for him and his family.

    • BobLee Reply
      3 weeks ago

      I appreciate that there IS a market for “snarky millennials sitting around saying F*** and snorting over pics of the Jenn Stergers of this world”. And that market probably consumes something – other than craft beers and raman noodles… maybe. But I left that crap 40 years ago, if I ever truly was “that guy”. I don’t think I was.
      .
      Just be a gawky tourist at ND… until the KO, then be an obnoxious WP fan … 🙂

  • BC.PV Reply
    3 weeks ago

    Great column, BL!! Loved the “back and forth” conversation with Skipper and Iger! Very clever.

    • BobLee Reply
      3 weeks ago

      I’m going to miss “Skippy” when Iger eventually has him frog-marched out the door and deposited under the first bus to drive by. ESPN is planning MORE layoffs before year-end. Their problems are piling up like planes over O’Hare at rush hour. None have easy solutions..
      .
      Hope you saw Game Two. It WAS a Classic. “Baseball is toooo boring” – NOT!

  • TarSpartan Reply
    3 weeks ago

    Sad to say, I conked out after the Astros hit their two homers in the 10th. I should have known the baseball gods are more fickle than that. Also, as the announcers were hyping up the closer, all I could think was “Even Mariano Rivera blew a save in the 2001 WS.” No one is perfect in the WS except Don Larsen.

    I’m looking forward to Game 3 tonight! Like you, I don’t really have a horse in this race, but since I’ve lived in Texas for almost 15 years and the Astros have never won a series, I guess I’ll put aside my National League bias (down with the DH!) and root for the ‘Stros.

    • BobLee Reply
      3 weeks ago

      Game Two was the HA franchise’s First WS game W EVER. Normally I don’t care for choreographed player celebrations but the Altuve / Corea synchronized slap/hop/jump thingy is cool …

      • TarSpartan Reply
        3 weeks ago

        Yes, it was their first win! They are also the only team to make the WS from both leagues, thanks to re-alignment.

        • BobLee Reply
          3 weeks ago

          That’s right … although the Milwaukee Braves=NL and Brewers-AL (Harvey’s Wallbangers) both did it but different franchises.

  • Doug Reply
    3 weeks ago

    Do What? Barstool Sports starting at 2AM? All JS had to do is take my mama’s advice. “Nothing good happens after midnight.”

    • BobLee Reply
      3 weeks ago

      Really… If you are going to run a show with two board monkeys doing “pull my finger” jokes… run it at 2 AM between vacumn cleaner or pillow infomercials. … WHY SKIPPY WHY !!!

      • Doug Reply
        3 weeks ago

        A nationwide audience of 88K weeps. Roughly the population of Greenville NC out of ~300 million. Gee, I wonder why it got pulled?

  • Todd Lesley Reply
    3 weeks ago

    I had just told my wife the nice thing about this series is that …if the Dodgers are winning in the 7th…you can go to be early. The streak of 28 scoreless innings was then broken and I missed a damn good game. BTW…found a nice 10 minute recap on Youtube the following morning. It cut out all the Yasiel Puig bat licking segments though…thank GOD!

    • BobLee Reply
      3 weeks ago

      Those last four innings totally changed the “narrative” for this WS. The LAD bullpen and the Vaunted Jensen is mortal… and the Astros bats are awaken. Will Game Three pick up from there… or revert back ??? That’s Baseball. What was sooo amazing about Game Two is that the LAD kept overcoming 2-run deficits at the end.

      • Todd Lesley Reply
        3 weeks ago

        Even Mariano Rivera has blown a game seven of a WS…I need to remember that. Although that bloop hit by the Diamondbacks was lucky.

        • BobLee Reply
          3 weeks ago

          When longtime baseball-lovers talk about Great Game 7s THAT ONE seems to get lost somehow. Maybe because the D-backs are not a “national team” with generations of fans. The Schilling / Jackson rotation and Gonzo’s bloop winner were CLASSIC! … same can be said for the two Marlins WS wins. … I’ll always be a 1960 Pirates/NYY devotee. I can still remember the routine groundball that “hit a pebble” and then Tony Kubek’s throat.

  • NCSU68Grad Reply
    3 weeks ago

    BL,
    I apologize in advance for NOT being a MLB major fan. However, it sounds like you have the situation under control and that is all that matters. I only watch ONE MSM “show” and that is The Black List (reminiscent of John Swofford’s heart). IT, unfortunately DOTH come on NBC. Therefore, I switch the “inputs” to channels and invoke my “We ain’t NO electricity or Internet PLAN B) and use my trusty attic mounted triple amplified Dome (as in Dean) dish and watch TBL live and in real time. THEN, I cut off WRAL and do something beneficial. I will probably make an exception and watch Lynda Loveland’s LAST show. She is a peach of a lady…..has owned TWO Vettes and beat the knickers off Ken Smith when JG popped for them to go and “Be Petty”. She said that he would NOT pop for that again….as NASCAR was like your daddy’s Oldsmobile and not REO Speedwagon (Look it up).
    I really don’t see how JG is gonna come out on this one like his past endeavors that involved stupidity….but we shall see.
    Is it ALSO true that MOST of Yogi’s “Yogisms” were actually written by BK? Stan Freeberg did a “History of the World….Parts I & II”. Dread Scott was Lincoln’s butler and HE wrote the Gettysburg Address. Abe did not have anything by an old envelope (maybe from UVerse with a NEW offer) to write on. Abe was up all night working on counting “Scores”.
    I certainly HOPE and have HIGH expectations for the Boys from West Raleigh lead by Dave from the Midwest. The fightin’ Irish may look like the fuddy duddy Seminoles from Tallawhatchmacallit land… Debbie Yow is still adding zeros and years to his contract rewrite. Clever lady…..Don’t count her out. Dave had to pay out almost $300K when she “bought” out his contract. He was responsible for the taxes. She will have a contract were we get enough money from WHOMEVER hires Davey to blow the roof off Snoopy’s Hangar, add in multiple outlet charging stations, Massage Chairs, padded walls in the Video Game room so when one of our “Stars” gets beat by a 7 YO, he does NOT break his hand on the concrete….
    You need to entice us and tell us what Kate Upton was NOT wearing and how many Camera Zooms below her chin that we got. I COULD easily become a baseball fan.
    Off to read AP’s latest offering…..an Antenna probably WILL work in North Raleigh….

    • BobLee Reply
      3 weeks ago

      I don’t watch Blacklist since Season 2. I recall the FBI agent as a “comely little filly”. James Spader is always James Spader and should be on the balcony discussing Life with William Shatner. … Just one shot of Kate Upton and is was PG-rated.

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