Not “like a rented mule” but… and Baker / Barry / Schiano…

NCSU UNC
BobLee
November28/ 2017

Not “like a rented mule” but…

it WAS 8 of the last 11… PLUS

NC State beat UNCCH again… but not “like a rented mule”.  It was a Victory for sure but not “a whuppin'” as was anticipated a month earlier.  The outcome was in doubt until the final 5:00.  It was the 8th Win in the past 11 meetings between the Hated Rival WITH an IPF (Indoor Practice Facility) and the Hated Rival that does not have an IPF… yet.

NC State’s invaluable IPF Advantage will go by the wayside when the sister institutions meet amid Kenan’s lofty pines next Autumn. In a Kenan Stadium with far more “chair seats” than Carter-Finley has. Will the “chair seats” imbalance be the strategic advantage that Old Wellers envision?  Time will tell… . Who has the most “charging stations” is forever in flux.

Certainly the “better team” won on the field this day… but I got the impression this one victory did not make up for the Worst NCAA Decision in Recorded History. Given an “either / or” of winning this one game… OR seeing 2-3 banners ripped from the rafters of St. Dean’s Dome… and Ol’ Roy tarred and feathered and chained beneath the hindquarters of a flatulent jackass… many among the 60,000+ woulda opted for the latter.

I was among the 60,000+ on-hand Saturday afternoon courtesy of the generous hospitality of THE Bob Kennel. BK was the perfect host i.e. abiding by the Strict No Politics edict.

Light-hearted conviviality was the order of the perfect Fall afternoon.

There was absolutely nothing more that Bob nor NC State officials could have done to improve upon the quality of the experience… not “chairs with beverage holders” nor “better Wi-Fi” nor “paper towels in the rest rooms” nor…

Oh… I noted that Carter-Finley Stadium still has Gender Specific rest rooms. If legislative redistricting changes that remains to be seen. “Redistricting” and “Gerrymandering” are interchangeable synonyms based on which side is doing it.

FWIW… I still prefer the assorted creature comforts of my Home Theater i.e. living room to “being there”. At some point in the future I hope to experience a game at Camp Randall Stadium in Madison otherwise maybe this was my last ever “being there”.

The 2017 Mack Brown Cup… Duke’s somewhat surprising win over Wake Forest gave the 2017 Mythical “Mack Brown” State Championship to Duke at 2-0.  Alas, it is no longer a true round robin as UNC and Wake and State and Duke no longer play one another on an annual basis. They should of course, but they don’t and likely won’t… but they oughta.

It SHOULD be a 5-way annual competition including ECU but that won’t happen either. That ECU was gosh-awful this season doesn’t matter. No word if Larry Fedora will be ordering “We finished 4th in The Mack Brown Cup in 2017” rings. I hope not.

It must be noted again that ALL THREE of the in-state teams that finished ahead of The Fedorians this season HAVE INDOOR PRACTICE FACILITIES… aka “IPFs”.

I don’t follow “recruiting” for the same reason I don’t follow “the price of tea in China” but apparently some 4-star linebacker un-committed to UNC last week and showed up on the NC State sidelines. That, as you can imagine, sent shock waves thru local board monkey factions.

While Carter-Finley goings-on were important locally, there were other goings-on grabbing the much brighter national spotlight.

###

South Carolina Fans brought shame and disgrace to their university by throwing bottles on the field at Williams-Brice Stadium. Clemson DID beat them “like a rented mule”. Hopefully those miscreants were incarcerated and subjected to unspeakable horrors deep in the bowels of a Columbia hoosegow… but I doubt it.

Meanwhile out in Norman Oklahoma… OU QB Baker Mayfield is the odds-on favorite to “win The Heisman”. Last week as Mayfield’s Mayfied crotchSooners were destroying the Kansas Jayhawks, QB Mayfield “grabbed his crotch” while prowling the sidelines. Obviously a camera caught him doing it. Baker’s televised “crotch grab” was in retaliation for KU players not shaking his hand at the coin-toss. …

BUT WAIT THERE’S MORE

Baker’s retaliatory “crotch grab” made national headlines forcing OU’s Wunderkin coach Lincoln “The Kid” Riley to impose disciplinary action on his star. Baker – per Coach Riley’s decision – would not start OU’s final home game versus West Virginia… and his tri-captain status was revoked.

Baker’s teammates in a symbolic show of unity for their suspended fellow Sooner took one of Baker’s jerseys with them to midfield for the OU-WVU coin toss. Apparently, there was not time to sew We Love Baker patches on all their jerseys nor paint his # on their shoes or the other scripted crap these semi-literate cretins  do.  “Kneeling for the OU alma mater” was not an option.

Baker’s disciplinary suspension lasted all of TWO plays. Leaving one to wonder how harsh it mighta been if Mayfield had yelled “Jayhawks Suck” or stuck out his tongue while “grabbing his crotch”. …

BUT WAIT THERE’S MORE

Legendary Oklahoma coach Barry Switzer had to get in the act. Barry blamed Baker’s “crotch grab” NOT on Baker but on Madonna and SwitzerMichael Jackson who, according to Coach Switzer, “started it”. Yeeeee Haa.

Somewhere Will Rogers, Carrie Underwood and “The Boz” held a group hug and wept.

Begging the question… when Barry’s thug-aletes were firing AK-47s off the roof of the OU Jock dorm in the early 80s. whose fault was THAT?

On a normal week in Big Time College Football the Baker / Barry Crotch Grab mighta been Absurdity #1… but Noooooo. Not this week. For that we go to ….

Rocky Top… Knoxville Tennessee… Home of checkerboard end zones… Where America first learned to ALWAYS be sure Lane Kiffin is miked… because ya never know what he might say. … Also where Peyton “mooned a she-trainer”… and where every time a thug-alete rapes a coed or holds up a 7-11 the “he said” always win… unless “he” is a walk-on in which case, who cares.

With Baker’s crotch grab as a baseline… what could the rabid denizens of Rocky Top possibly do to “top it”?

UTenn had finally fired the much-maligned Butch Jones a week or so earlier after letting him twist in the wind for the past year or so.

Since firing Phil Fullmer in 2008, Tennessee has had more Head Football Coaches than Khloe Kardashian has had boyfriends. That is A LOT!

In a very close competition with three or four others, Univ of Tennessee is, arguably, the most consistently dysfunctional Athletics Dept in The Western Hemisphere.  On the rare occasion they get anything right, they are more shocked than everyone else.

OF COURSE Rocky Toppers figured they would get Jon Gruden to be their next sacrificial coach because… well, why not. Following two weeks of faux Gruden sightings all across Eastern Tennessee including one of a left hand holding a corn dog at Dollywood that “is probably Jon Gruden’s left hand”. … I betcha that left hand was Randy Parton’s but thats just my guess.

So with their fan base knee-walking drunk on totally bogus Gruden sightings… the poor sap who is going to be “the most recently fired UT AD” announced he was going to hire Greg Schiano.

Schiano was the sort of “Savior of Rutgers” who was fired after two bad seasons at Tampa Bay (during which The Butcher of Kenan was “a consultant”)… Schiano was/is Def Coor for Urban Meyer at Ohio State.

Somewhere between “shake on it” and “crossing the I’s and dotting the T’s” a notorious talk show host in Nashville – Clay Travis – got wind of it.

Clay Brooke

This is the same “Clay Travis” that made CNN’s Brooke Baldwin (UNC’01) blush by saying “I like boobs” live on-air. He also really hates ESPN and inserts F-bombs in every other sentence. Just the kinda guy that could / did blow up the UT / Schiano Hiring in less than 24 hours.

NOTE:  Brooke (UNC’01) always has this expression like she just received a text “Brooke, a coyote just ate your…” and she doesn’t know who it’s from.  I bet she has far fewer friends than she thinks she has.

So Travis goes on Twitter and rallies thousands of goggle-eyed delusional Rocky Toppers to lay siege to all things UT… meltdown their servers… and succeeded in unhiring Greg Schiano faster than you can say SCHIANO WAS AT PENN STATE WHEN JERRY SANDUSKY WAS DOING WHAT HE DID… OMG!

No grainy pics of Greg Schiano cavorting with Charlie Rose, John Conyers or Al Franken have surfaced … yet. I assume Clay Travis was saving those if the OMG JERRY SANDUSKY gambit had not worked.

Now Big Time College Football has its latest strategy for delusional fan bases to scuttle the hiring of anyone not named Jon Gruden to come and “awaken their sleeping giant”.

On Tuesday AM that same ‘left hand holding a corn dog” from Dollywood was seen holding a jelly doughnut in Starkville, Mississippi.  That SEC is A HOOT ain’t it!

There are a dozen or so coaching vacancies right now with dozens more to come as dominos fall. NONE of those vacancies will be filled by Jon Gruden so expect at least 6-8 more “Schiano-esque” fan base twitter-riots.

Whether Clay Travis will actively orchestrate them or simply be “a consultant” is unclear.

If I was producing Clay Travis’ radio show. I would be trying to get Barry Switzer (or Madonna) on as a guest… wouldn’t you?

###

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BobLee
  • Gear Up Reply
    2 weeks ago

    Looks like DD stays in Raleigh. Did Debbie call his bluff or did he come to his senses? UT is a perpetual train wreck. I hope UNC gets their Hindenburg Hangar and gives Chief Red Bull a personal Bowflex and a lifetime contract. Nice to see Cutcliffe turn down UT as well. I predict UNC hires Steve Logan in the spring of 2019 … you heard it here first!

    On a side note, with all the virtue signaling going on, how does Conyers, Franken and Barton not face a recall election? Stranger Things Season 3 will be based on how Eleven body snatched John McCain long enough to get the tax bill through the Senate. Stranger things indeed … who knew?

    • BobLee Reply
      2 weeks ago

      A Stranger Things junkie !! Kid and Pastor Danny are Big Time ST addicts. I’ve just gotten thru two episodes.
      .
      DD gambled and it paid off. Had he reupped back in mid-Oct he would not have the deal he just got. Of course, had he somehow lost to LF, he would not have heard from Tenn or gotten this deal. But he did and he did. He needs to blitz Fedora in-state now… LF REALLY needs to beat BOTH “hated rivals” next Fall or ELSE. I’d be fine with Logan but I don’t see it, nor do I think Logan would be interested or have the energy for it.

    • Dr. Vinnyboombatz Reply
      2 weeks ago

      There were a vocal minority of Pack fans that actually wanted DD to go to UT.
      Every coach has his assets and liabilities. Dave needs to get a bit better at clock management at the end of games and should he do so, they will win games such as South Carolina and Wake Forest in the future.
      He has many things going for him on the positive side. His discipline is good. His players do face consequences when they get out of line.The team culture appears very good also, since this goes along with the discipline. His players do develop. He has 3 star recruits that will play on Sundays. Finally, this class of 2018 looks like a very solid recruiting class. His program has steadily improved over 5 years from 3-9( like Mr. Hat this year) to 8-4. The only game this season lost that was not a one possession difference was Notre Dame in South Bend. Even in that one, State held the lead through much of the first half. Had he chosen to leave, it would have been very hard for NC State to get an upgrade. Next year, with a bit easier schedule, a repeat of the 8 win regular season( or even better) is very possible. Getting 9 of 12 over UNC-OJ should happen as well.

      • BobLee Reply
        2 weeks ago

        I agree.

  • JD Reply
    2 weeks ago

    Will Fedora also be able to get a raise from the continuing fiasco that is a Tennessee coaching search or is he calling them to get the job?

    • BobLee Reply
      2 weeks ago

      Larry is concentrating on raising that $36,000,000 for his fancy IPF… “even Wake Forest has one”.

  • Doug Reply
    2 weeks ago

    So the question of the day. Is 33-30 DD going to get $5 million from Debbie or is he moving on?

    • BobLee Reply
      2 weeks ago

      IMO… No on that $5M from Frau… if that is the deal-breaker he better take whatever UTenn offers. Vols fans ain’t gonna be happy with Dave Who-From-Where ?

      • Doug Reply
        2 weeks ago

        Twitter, Meth, & Moonshne will take care of any problem. The test market was proven to be effective over the weekend. Really glad I joined Twitter recently. I had a ringside seat Sunday.

        • BobLee Reply
          2 weeks ago

          The phrase “… really glad I joined Twitter” will haunt you the rest of your life.

      • RMDownEast Reply
        2 weeks ago

        Vol fans collectively seem to suffer from BMS. Board Monkey Syndrome. I am sure there are exceptions.

        • BobLee Reply
          2 weeks ago

          They have a long reputation for extreme over-emotional. The past decade has NOT been kind to them.

  • NCSU68Grad Reply
    2 weeks ago

    BL,
    I wondered how long it would take for this epic column to be APPROVED (by Blondie?) and hit the ‘net. You are spot on in all your scenarios. For the record, I will add a few comments (SHOCKED?)
    I DID write AD Yow and ask that we sing a special rendition of the SSB. We State lads take poetic license with the lyrics anyway…. I proposed the opening line (displayed on the JumboTron with a split screen of a camera on you and the BK crowd). Ohah Bob Lee, can you SEE…? She did not respond, but I tried…
    I listened to the Orange and Whatever Bowl from Columbia….on the way home after a fabulous feast at Snoopy’s on Hillsborough (to wait out the traffic). They called an Unsportsmanlike Conduct Penalty on Dabo. If you watched the replay later on one of the ESPNWhatevers, he was professionally protesting the bottle tossing. THEN, the Refs were ignoring him. They made a comment about “having to officiate the game and not discipline the fans”. THAT did not go over well….so Dabo persistently insisted that the officials “flag the crowd”. Dabo obviously thought he had made his point when the Ref threw the yellow hanky…..but OPPS….then he called out the penalty. Even the USC announcers said that Dabo was right and that it probably would not have gone down that way in the ACC
    The UNC-State game was somewhat “boring” and the fans were irate about the lack of a potent offense for UNC. However, according to OUR unbiased radio commentators, it was PRE-ARRANGED and was executed perfectly. We use a combination of running and passing plays to stifle and wear down the UNC defense. You are correct….it was somewhat in doubt. I WAS amazed that Swoff did NOT overturn the completed pass….the 8 minute review rivaled some of Ref Cherry’s “reviews”. The stats were really even, save total yardage and possession.
    FOOTNOTE. Coach Dave from the Midwest will be gainfully employed until 2020 as the 8 wins triggered many of his incentives. One year contract extension. He got at least a $150K bonus and maybe a years supply of K-Cups (hot chocolate of course) for the IPF. The De-Committed HS 4* recruit’s actions were sort of like the icing….he will probably go to UT….but he DID make a #STATEment…
    Totally agree about the UT fiasco. I got an email from a friend in TN. It said….”If there is a civil war, I’m betting on the side that has over 8 TRILLION bullets stockpiled and owns 95% of the guns…..as the other side can’t even figure out where to go urinate…”. Social Media will not win a war of armament….unless they snitch and disarm the good guys….
    Closing #STATEment….Blog line said…”Sean Miller hates State so much, he threw the next 2 BB games to belittle the fact that State beat his Cats…..You gotta respect Sean for his perseverance.”. BUT, Sean did go from #2 to YOU ARE OUT….a feat only one other team has accomplished in the history of the AP poll….

    • BobLee Reply
      2 weeks ago

      I know “hated rivals” make a big deal about “…rockets RED glare” et al. Thats what hated rivals do. I think its just fine. Don’t stop doing it.
      .
      DD has to be a bit disappointed in the 8-4 because I’m sure he had “dreams” too in early October. It is a very tough business when one spends all year preparing for twelve Saturday games where one play can make/break a season.
      .
      I’m not sure what to think about The Fedora Era: Past-Present-Future. He likely gets a pass for 3-9 because of the injuries… but he can’t play that chip again. His record against Hated Rivals is Not Good and getting more Not Good with each passing season. Those games “matter” a lot more than any others. His manic push for the IPF will come with very high expectations from wherever that $36M comes from.

  • 58 Wolf Kennel Reply
    2 weeks ago

    BL, must admit I didn’t get all you did from that one ball game. Maybe my simplicity is a blessing. Enjoyed the win (short of a “whupping”) very much without looking for anything more (well, a real textile win over Clemson would have been better).
    Thank you for behaving yourself. My simple-minded friends and good-at-heart sister enjoyed it too (as well as your drop-by fans). We’re not too hard to please except it sure is nice when local Hines breaks a couple of long ones.
    Maybe I’m just hoping for an invitation to the blue end-zone next year where I can remind some of the old-timers of our 4-straight wins when here in the mid-50’s (including Sunny Jim 😎)
    Again, I’ll take a simple “W” and be thankful
    Go Pack !!

    • BobLee Reply
      2 weeks ago

      I’m certainly not the one to ask about Blue Zone Access. Using my name is definitely not going to help you.
      .
      I witnessed zero misbehavior from where I “stood”… just nice people proud of their team… as it should be. The ever-increasing “lack of civility” we are seeing across Big Time College Sports is not coming from our demographic.
      .
      I am appreciative of your hospitality as always.

  • Doug Reply
    2 weeks ago

    The internet and social media mixed with football fans is a curious thing. On one hand it’s used to, perhaps undeservedly, ruin a man’s life and on the other it can, also undeservedly, make some other just average HBC an instant multi-millionaire. I wasn’t aware of the newfound source of selective moral outrage until I read this column. Replacing Rocky Top with Higher Moral Ground somehow just doesn’t fit the Knoxville or Volunteer fans I know.

    The ACC has a surplus of bowl eligible mediocrity in 2017 along with two…maybe just one…. good teams. Same goes for the SEC…three teams? Big Ten, Big 12. In other words there are probably only 5 or 6 teams nationally that wouldn’t get completely boat raced in the playoffs.

    • BobLee Reply
      2 weeks ago

      Bob McNair – elderly owner of the NFL’s Houston Texans was more correct than he knew when he said recently “the inmates are running the prison….” He meant “the asylum” but not much difference. Way too many genies are out of their bottles… and too much toothpaste outta the tubes.

      • Doug Reply
        2 weeks ago

        BTW John Currie, the future ex-AD at Tennessee was born in Chapel Hill and is a Wake Forest graduate.

  • Kevin.T Reply
    2 weeks ago

    Which is preferable now… (1) choosing a HC by a petition from the players to keep / promote a popular Coordinator (i.e, Carl Torbush) … or (2) using the American Idol vote method with board monkeys texting their choices ?

    • BobLee Reply
      2 weeks ago

      Whichever generates the most CHAOS. Both methods are so absurd it is difficult to choose.
      .
      There is a #3 … three Fat Cats in a hotel suite trying on Butch Davis’ Super Bow ring while Dickie goes out for more doughnuts.

      • Irondoc Reply
        2 weeks ago

        How about your famous “pissed off posse” method of getting coaches fired? Worked to get rid of Matt Daugherty (sp?) and the president of Univ of Missouri. Might work for getting a coach hired. Still remember the UNC POP in saggy jeans and sideways turned hats during the announcement of Matt’s firing later show up in coats and ties when the Ol’ Roy hiring was announced. Heard the Missouri POP didn’t go so well as enrollment, donations and butts in seats have declined there.

        • BobLee Reply
          2 weeks ago

          Not sure how the UNC and Mizzou situations correlate. The POP for the Doherty firing was 100% Dickie’s Fault and was totally avoidable. What a DOLT! … Doherty’s players wanted nothing to do with how Dickie and The Meez were screwing that up. They were “ordered” to be there and their body language showed it. “THAT” was almost as classic as The Martin Report.
          .
          The Mizzou Mess was orchestrated by BLMers brought in from Ferguson / Chicago. Again, the MU admins were spineless incompetents and the BLMers knew exactly how to take them down. MU may never fully recover from the aftershocks of that ClusterF.

  • BullCityBeth Reply
    2 weeks ago

    How long can Fedora survive not beating Duke or NC State? Will he get a pass this year for the injuries?

    • BobLee Reply
      2 weeks ago

      I’m betting more and more folks are asking that question. Yes… I think he gets a pass this year but doubt he gets an “extension” this year. Larry’s seat is definitely getting hotter with each “next loss” to a hated rival.

      • Tin foil hat heel Reply
        2 weeks ago

        I think it is almost gotten to the “don’t give a s— anymore” phase. Coaches cost money, ipf cost money, blinged out bouncy houses for functionally illiterates cost money but the product still remains meh. Why continue to throw good money after bad over what is more a lounge act than ever before? Kenan has no passion or atmosphere any more and the “first down tar….heels” schtick has become tired, I preferred the old simple elegance of years past. Larry is safe just long as next year is a somewhat return to form. State really cares more about hoops anyway and it’s been since about the Nixon administration since woofy has been able to beat the Heels on anything resembling a consistent basis, let’s the delusional bastards think they are a foobaw skewl. Cutcliffe is a great dude so anyone who is upset that the dookies get to keep the victory bell is a bad person, and hell we’ve held it long enough and will again. Of course everyone up until this year was worried that Larry was gonna bail for a higher echelon position, guess having your record resemble a Roxy Music song puts the kibosh on that sort of talk https://youtu.be/_Hos6tiwSTI though Rocky Top is more than welcome to have him, he actually would be a good fit for that crowd.

        • BobLee Reply
          2 weeks ago

          Sounding like Rocky Top might get Dave WhoFromWhere instead. So Wuffs can start “Gruden rumors”…
          .
          I don’t think you and I are the only one seeing “IT” for what it has become. Nothing lasts forever… Hark That Sound!

          • Former96Heel
            2 weeks ago

            It’s actually refreshing to see Coach Cutt in Durham. I am impressed that any school is willing to take an very experienced and accomplished assistant, and stay with him, and then the loyalty get rewarded when larger opportunities come his way. I am certain the Ath Department at Duke understands football will always be second fiddle. Staying with a decent coach who seems to keep his team out of the headlines may not get you in the CFP, but every once in a while, it will get you in the Swoff Bowl. That course doesn’t work the more board monkeys a school has loading up on the pressure, but for the private schools like Wake and Duke, it seems to be a wonderful MO.
            .
            I wish UNC had stayed with Bunting to see if the result would have been similar. Had TGU unfurled without all of the Butcher, Blake, tweet heard round the triangle, etc, I may still be an interested UNC football party, but the whole Davis era/non-academic mess helped me exit stage left. I would rather be 3-8 and be proud of the school and team than 8-4 and have a complete distaste for what I see.

          • BobLee
            2 weeks ago

            Not sure yours (and my) is the prevailing POV at UNC… or many other Power-5 schools. There is always a faction that will sell the institutional soul for “bragging rights”. And THAT is all it amounts to… just “bragging rights”.
            .
            I am on record that if “Burly John” had had a “Jiminy Cricket” mentor helping him assemble his staff… it might have turned out totally different. Staff dissension plagued him from Day One. … The BOT 3 got exactly what they “bought” with The Butcher. He did exactly what he said he would do… recruited NFL-talent PERIOD… at a price.
            .
            Yes, Duke seems content with what Cuttcliffe can do with what he has to work with… and he (Cutt) seems OK with that too.
            .
            Larry’s on-going lack of success vs Duke and State HAS to reverse itself REALLY soon or he is gone. That is a fairly low bar that he seems unable to reach…

  • Jay Reply
    2 weeks ago

    Puke Orange now has at least a one game losing streak to all SEC teams. Wow. Maybe they deserve it.

    • BobLee Reply
      2 weeks ago

      Absolutely zero precedent that UT admins make a sensible decision.

  • Keetar Reply
    2 weeks ago

    If only UT , could find a transgender black head coach with foster children. Then the crowd of snowflakes would be appeased. I wonder if Sam Hand is available.

    • BobLee Reply
      2 weeks ago

      Sports can often be a “canary in the coal mine” for assorted socio-cultural dysfunctions.

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