BL: Two Top Cats In A Toilet Stall… GOLDEN OLDIE!

Two Top Kats
BobLee
December20/ 2017

Hey, it’s The Christmas Season and all you BobLee Buddies & Babes deserve a special treat.

This AllTime BLSays Classic Classic first appeared waaaayback in 2005.   Today is its 4th appearance but not likely its last. Like Donna Mills and Suzanne Somers, it ages really well.

NOTE:  The two Top Cat Cheerleaders in that picture up top are NOT Renee & Angela... or Tina Becker.  They are “just two Top Cats Cheerleaders”.

What with Jerry Richardson aka “JRich” being in the news and, apparently, well deserving of some heavy doses of public ridicule, lets give him some.

I am as sure as I can be that former Top Cat and current Panthers’ interim COO Tina Becker was not involved in any of this.  BUT.. I can only be so sure.

This sordid tale kinda rambles but once you get up-to-speed you won’t care… trust me.

TWO TOP CATS IN A TOILET STALL

It was Waaaaay back in 2005 – that’s 12 years ago for those of you in Gastonia…. a full 5 years before Marvin hit SEND and the world as we knew it changed forever.

“The Scheme” was in its 13th year at UNC using 1992 as its official start date ….. Carol Folt had purchased a burial plot in Hanover NH figuring she would likely die at Dartmouth …..  Barack Obama was in his 18th year of weekly attendance at Jeremiah Wright’s We Hate Whitey Church & Chicken Roost but, of course, was NOT paying attention to what Rev Wright was screaming …. UNC’s BOT 3 had yet to be bedazzled by The Butcher’s collection of rings …. Chuck Amato was still in shock re: TA’s knee ….  Holden Thorp was chairing the Chemistry Dept at The Flagship …. and Carolina Way Kool-Aid was selling for $8.75/six-pak at area Food Lions.

The Carolina Panthers were in Tampa to play the Bucs.  Two members of their Top Cats cheerleader troupe – Renee and Angela – had taken the opportunity for a Two Top Cats Road Trip.   They were not in Tampa in any “official capacity” but NFL Cheerleaders, like Marines and Internet Legends, are NEVER truly off-duty?

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RE-NOTE: That picture up top is simply a sample of Top Cats and NOT intended as being either Renee or Angela… or COO Tina Becker. This is TWICE I have stressed this fact!Banana Joes

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The “where” was a raucous Tampa Bay-area eatery/drinkery – Banana Joe’s.   The “what” is…. well….

Every event in human history backed up one notch in its overall “headline impact” based on what happened last Saturday night in Tampa.  The “where were you when you heard …..” stories will reverberate off of sports bar walls for as long as Ricky Proehl catches passes in the NFL … at least 30 more years.  Where were YOU when you heard about it …

As one who relies on provocative headlines to lure you lovable loyal lemmings into READ MORE, I have an appreciation for folks who write media headlines.  The headline “sells the story”.  This story sold pretty darn well.

There is no man nor lesbian nor trany nor bi drawing breath that did not “read more” when they saw that headline Monday morning.  Imagine the viewers who stayed tuned when the local sports guy on Channel 6 said:

“Right after this message from Evil Earl’s Nail Salon & Kia Dealership, we’ll tell you about TWO CHEERLEADERS IN A TOILET STALL”.

You know Evil Earl had to be happy, and a certain smart-aleck Internet Legend was emphatically reminded – There IS a God!

Here’s the thumbnail recap:  Somehow Renee & Angela end up together in one toilet stall in Banana Joe’s Little Girls’ Room…. uh oh.   The growing line of ladies(?) waiting their turn to use the facility heard “sex act sounds” emanating from the dually-occupied toilet stall… uh oh.    The waiting ladies grew unruly… demanding Renee & Angela “wrap it up” and vacate the facility.

Renee & Angela, understandably, objected to having their coitus interrupted …. uh oh.   They erupted out of said stall and a full-blown melee ensued right there in Banana Joe’s Little Girls’ Room.  Being they was Top Cats I guess it would be – yes – “a cat fight”….. A haymaker right cross from Angela caught one Melissa Harden full in the face.

…. there was blood and bodily fluids EVERYWHERE…. Oh, the Inhumanity!

Local LEOs and every Tampa Bay media operation came arunning.   Nothing else that happened in America that day seemed to matter very much by comparison. ….

This story is (again, ten years and) three days old meaning 2,685,942+ jokes have been posted on the Internet.  A Nexus search shows the #1 Cheerleaders In The Toilet Stall joke involves the premise of if they had been in the Men’s Room they coulda sold tickets …

Speaking of selling tickets doyathink Banana Joe’s is milking this for every advantage … guided tours of their Ladies Room and, for an extra $10, you and your same sex buddy can go into the very same stall and make a sex act sounds CD.

They tape you making sex act sounds then you come out and punch a cardboard cut-out of Yasmine Bleeth.   Souvenir copies of  fake Top Kat driver licenses are being given out with a purchase of a Messa Wings & A Large Pitcher.

One has to hurt for Panther owner Jerry Richardson.  The Richardson Family have endured enough team scandal and bad boy (and now girls) episodes to make Al Davis jealous as all get out.  Prior to starting the Panthers, Jerry’s only problems were racial discrimination at his Denny’s Restaurants … those were “the good ol days, huh Jerry?” (NOTE:  This was in 2005… little did we know…)

Top Kats

Here are the After / Before pics of Renee & Angela. 

The high-spirited Sisters of Sappho were, alas, dismissed from the Panther organization for … mugshots taken without make-up.  A not-negotiable firing offense PERIOD.

The girls’ whizbang attorney, F. Lee Finkelstein, is claiming They were not having sex.  They were simply doing drugs and tearing tags off of mattresses.  Hearing this, George Shinn has recommended “his guy” Bill Diehl to replace attorney Finkelstein.

Georgie Porgie has invited the two gals to his Tega Cay Bordello & Catfish Hatchery to discuss their future.

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TRUE STORY:  When I posted this column back in 2005, I was in a Circle Suite at (the original) Dallas Cowboys Stadium in Irving.  … Howsabout writing a column on NFL Cheerleaders while in a Circle Suite at Texas Stadium for a “fantasy camp” no less?  Yours truly was indeed at Ground Zero where spandex, sex and The NATIONAL Football League first formed their very most unholy alliance over 40 years ago.

Clint Murchison, Tex Schramm, and Gil Brandt were sitting around Dallas Cowboy HQ wondering why their Lee Roy Jordan Swimsuit Calendar wasn’t jumping off the shelves.  All three later claimed authorship of the historic phrase …

….   “suppose we get us a bunch of small town Texas beauty queens with big hair, pneumatic breasts, killer smiles, and legs like a Chippendale Table and dress’em up in 18 square inches of this new stretchy “spandex” and silk and stiletto disco boots, and tell’em to go out there on the sidelines and turn every male on Earth into a goggle-eyed, drooling, bona-fide sexual predator?”  Texie Waterman

Dumping 800 cases of Lee Roy’s calendars in an Irving dumpster, the three dirty old men picked up Texie Waterman  and the four of’em headed out; scouring East Texas for naïve 18 year old Miss Boll Weevil finalists.  The rest is soft porn history.

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Had the headline simply been ONE Cheerleader In A Toilet Stall it would not have had the “Two of’em at once” impact.  Or Two Cheerleaders In A Phone Booth, while not bad what with the glass walls and all, is not as titillating as “… IN A TOILET STALL”.  

Combining two of life’s greatest mysteries (1) “what are those NFL cheerleaders really like?” and (2) “what really goes on in a Little Girls’ Room makes this truly a story unlike any other. 

I have no clue what ever happened to Renee and/or Angela.  If I could somehow connect them to UNC BOG Chairman John “Trainwreck” Fennebresque I certainly would. ….. Uuumm, I wonder if Patrick Cannon or Former Mayor “She ain’t that smart” Roberts knows what happened to Renee or Angela ??

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That was twelve years ago but coulda been yesterday… which doesn’t say much for human evolution, does it?

On the outside chance that JRich hisownself might read this… I thought I would conclude with how I ended the last repostimg of this… during our Celebrate Kate Upton (Verlander) Week… Wonder who shaves those legs, Jerry?.

Kate Upton 7

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UPDATE On The Perils of JRich… Reports are oozing out of the current Chaos within BOA that JRich was operating his Panthers with “a Plantation mentality”.  In our racially-sensitive culture that is not a recommended corporate mentality.  No confirmation that he required Panther employees to refer to him as “Massa Jerry”.

Apparently Interim COO “Top Cat Tina” Becker has already removed the “lawn jockey” outside Jerry’s corner office.  Smart move Tina.

The question is also being asked around the intersection of Trade & Tryon regarding how much Erskine, Hugh McColl, Johnny Harris, “The Family Dollar Guy”, “The Belks”, et al knew about JRich’s provocative behavior and Caligua-esque attitudes… and how long they have known about it.

Christmas parties in The Great State of Mecklenburg are abuzz about Who Knew What When & Whats Next ??? … as Diddy lurks.

YOU MUST READ my Reader Comment below about The NCSU FB Recruit who chose State over UNC “because I like to fish…”.  I can’t make this stuff up folks…

More of BobLee -Link

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Blondie’s Latest  – LINK

NCNV

BobLee
  • PTH Reply
    4 months ago

    Some of the powerful people who you wonder knew what when, may very likely be reluctant to get into any investigations, as according to “reliable sources” may need some housecleaning of their own.

    • BobLee Reply
      4 months ago

      I expect that may indeed be a likely possibility.

  • Porgie Reply
    4 months ago

    Actually, The NC State Basspack has won 3 national titles. It is not NCAA sanctioned (thank goodness) but is a club sport. Do a google search if so inclined to learn all you ever wanted to know about NC State bass fishing.
    I recall Bill Diehl as being a heckava linebacker also. Dad owned/managed one of the radio stations.

    • BobLee Reply
      4 months ago

      I recall his younger sister doing a very sensual “shake it off” …

      • Doug Reply
        4 months ago

        Bill Diehl, conjuring Johnnie Cochran for George Shinn when a woman accused him of forcing her to have oral sex. “If she ain’t bitin’, she ain’t fightin’.” Classic.

        • BobLee Reply
          4 months ago

          Apparently EVERYBODY in Greater Mecklenburg has an opinion of Bill Diehl… that runs the length of the Like – Dislike spectrum.

  • Former96Heel Reply
    4 months ago

    I scratch my head, thinking it has been so long since this wonderful episode in Charlotte history. The first 10 years of the Panthers were indeed one head shake after another. But isn’t it great to consider yourself a World Class city? Couldn’t do it without a pro team.
    Bill Diehl…I can’t hear the name without remembering his closing lines for Shinn. She’s not fighting, if she’s not biting. Is that an acceptable defense in 2017, or does that qualify for disbarment nowadays?

    • BobLee Reply
      4 months ago

      The quite notorious BILL DIEHL was 2-3 years ahead of me in high school in Kinston. Who knew he would become The Notorious Bill Diehl ???

  • BobLee Reply
    4 months ago

    I will probably devote a column to this… but a quick comment on it CAN’T WAIT…
    .
    Today’s N&O has a lengthy article on the Hillsborough LB – Payton (Something) – that switched his “commit” from UNCCH to NSCU in mid-November … of course, creating twin Board Monkeys wildfires… including the infamous Duplin Winery gal going KABOOM. … the article is a veritable treasure trove of Human Absurdity so you’ans know I LOVED IT. … UNCCH loyalists probably not so much …
    .
    The N&O (where Damn Dan Kane works) was already not too popular (DUH!) along scenic Franklin Street (EXCEPT for its Radical Left-Wing Screeds of course). After today’s article what N&O goodwill there was is pretty much kaput.
    .
    I’ll cover it in greater detail later but one line from “Payton” was an INSTANT CLASSIC… a KEY FACTOR in his switching from UNC to NCSU was “I like to fish and there are a lot of good fishing places around NC State…” – YEEEEE HAA! … Who Knew? I SWEAR HE SAID THAT!
    .
    … By noon, Larry Fedora was DEMANDING Rams Club Fat Cats give him a “excellent fishing hole… if we are to be competitive”. Dredging out McCorkle Place between South Bldg and The Library is the first likely site. Bubba’s accountants are running preliminary cost estimates including stocking “Lake Larry” with plenty of bass, catfish, perch, and lots of crappie… lots and lots of crappie.
    .,
    I wonder if those two Top Cat cheerleader “like to fish” too ???

    • Doug Reply
      4 months ago

      Put that fishing’ hole and a boat ramp right out back of the new IPF. The boat ramp would make Payton flip again. It gets em every time. Make sure a couple of bass boats are available too. Maybe UNC should field a NCAA fishing team for both men and women. Title IX requirements should be satisfied.

      • BobLee Reply
        4 months ago

        NC State did win a NCAA Bass Fishing Championship. Will Payton be a two-sport athlete? … I could NEVER make this stuff up. Larry is hiring Bill Dance and Jimmy Houston as Fishing Coordinators…

  • ENC#1 Reply
    4 months ago

    You should have plenty of material going forward as most of the younger generation will always need their “safe zone”. Reality will become an aggressive, negative and too much to handle situation without their “safe zones”. Keep up the good work BL!!!!!

    • BobLee Reply
      4 months ago

      Unlike “colleges'” long assumed purpose – To prepare adolescents for self-sustaining adulthood – that model has been scrapped to create a totally DEPENDENT class of spineless whiners. Lets hope there never another need to defend our shores…

  • TarHeel 69 Reply
    4 months ago

    You have the best gig in the world. All of this “you can’t make this stuff up” material flows into your lap, day after day, decade after decade! And, you do a great job of adding your special twists.
    Laughed as much as when I watched National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation last night for the 25th time. Stay the course.

    • BobLee Reply
      4 months ago

      It is a confluence of many circumstances… (1) The Internet … (2) The Rapid Deterioration of Global Sanity … (3) A Receptive audience … (4) Me at a point in my life where “Taking it seriously” is not even an option. 🙂

  • Mike.in.MyersPark Reply
    4 months ago

    I was doing just fine UNTIL I got to “removed the lawn jockey…”. I lost it. Coffee, doughnut crumbs all over the kitchen counter and keyboard. Oh The Inhumanity!

    • BobLee Reply
      4 months ago

      Good to know I still the touch to ruin a keyboard. “lawn jockey” is just one of those words that provokes a reaction… as does “cheerleader”.

  • NCSU68Grad Reply
    4 months ago

    A timeless and priceless read. And no one got their eye put out by a richotting B.B.
    Just as HRC’s inner circle will be more tight lipped this Christmas about who knew what when about Harvey, your prediction of the Christmas Cocktail party chatter being mentally censored prior to leaving the lips is spot on.
    Don’t know if McCatchHimInTheAct has the funds for a Jerry Richardson favorability poll….but it would be interesting. Queen Hill and King Bill’s numbers have tumbled….sort of like shorting the MAGA stock market.
    Some gazillionaire 23 YO Bitcoin king will fund P. Diddy and the Panthers will be the first NFL team to accept Bitcoin Wallet payment for the $15 beer (8 oz).
    You do lead a charmed life….thanks for the memories….

    • BobLee Reply
      4 months ago

      You’re welcome. Where might one go in Sanford to buy “a lawn jockey” and how long would it be in one’s front yard before the first Molotov Cocktail hit the front porch?

      • NCSU68Grad Reply
        4 months ago

        Don’t rightly remember any concrete casting in Sanford, and lived there for 13 years. But Metropol Statuary in Rockingham would be the first place to look. Still have many concrete frogs and rabbits adorning the homestead…..and they seem to be petrified. Good folks run it.

        • BobLee Reply
          4 months ago

          Would “garden gnomes” be more racially-sensitive”?

  • Doug Reply
    4 months ago

    Damn. And right here at Christmastime too!!

    • BobLee Reply
      4 months ago

      Like manna from Heaven… Ask and Ye shall receive!

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