BL: A First for March Madness – All 64 teams are…

    March Madness
    BobLee
    March14/ 2018

    BL: A First for March Madness: All 64 Teams are…

    It was bound to happen. Appropriate that it would happen in this year of so much Yadda Yadda about The Scandalous State of Big Time College Sports.  Despite overwhelming mathematical probability… for the first time in its illustrious 50+ year history… The March Madness Wizards have managed to place…

    All 64 teams are… “in The Toughest Bracket!”

    From lowly Lipscomb (?) to Mr. Jefferson’s Cavaliers and everyone in-between… all 64 teams and their overly-caffeinated fans agree that We got put in the toughest bracket… and IT’S NOT FAIR!Not Fair

    The #1 Universal Reason “why” is, of course, because the selection committee is jealous of us because we are “such a cool school”.

    In the case of Royz Boyz it is, of course, somehow related to SILENT SAM… because EVERYTHING is somehow related to SILENT SAM. Poor Ol’ SSam is “the Kevin Bacon” of lynchpins.

    NOTE:  I get asked a lot “what do you (I) think about Silent Sam?” … Honestly, I don’t “think about Silent Sam” at all.  Since UNC officials outlawed the Beat Dook Parade in the mid-70s, I stopped paying attention…

    The glaring lack of transgendered muslims on the NCAA Selection Committee is already being noted as a factor.  How many committee members are NRA members is also being researched.

    As the tournament proceeds… usually about the 3rd Round, “the eeeevil referees” will be told which traditional powers and which “Cinderellas” are to advance for maximum TV ratings. No more than five “traditional powers” can make the Elite Eight… along with one mid-major… one on-line school not named Southern New Hampshire,… or Word of God!

    There will be at least one Elite Eight team from “America’s Heartland” despite violent objections from some quite deranged old crone in Chappaqua NY.   OUCH!

    At least one Elite Eight team must be located somewhere that no one would ever guess. This is known as the Florida Gulf Coast / Gonzaga / Butler / Texas Western Rule.

    This year, the “who better win” list will be decided by a super-secret committee composed of “the Russians”… Adam Schiff (is he weird or what?)… Marla Maples… Dana Loesch… and Condi Rice. Raise your hand if you remember Marla. This is the umpteenth super-secret-special committee that Condi Rice has been on.

    Condi Rice is America’s #1 Special Committee Member.

    This is the 5th consecutive year I will NOT “fill out a bracket”. As with “not watching the NFL, The NBA, or The Ellen Degeneres Show”… it has nothing to do with “kneeling”… or the outspoken political opinions of Greg Popovich… or Ellen being gay. I just like to be different.

    ##

    Did you know… Yesterday – March 13th – was the 12th Anniversary of The Duke Lacrosse Scandal? Yes, twelve years ago Crystal Mangum (“…honor student and single mother of two” !!!) was NOT sexually assaulted by four “rich white boys” in a tiny bathroom at 610 North Buchanan Blvd in Durham. … the verb “to Duke Lacrose HouseNifong” was created… and The News & Observer committed THE Most Egregious Journalistic Embarrassment in recorded history… certainly in this millennium.

    Twelve years later pretty much all the N&O employees who actively perpetrated said embarrassment have “gone away” along with 100s of other N&O employees from 2006. Crystal Mangum has birthed one or more additional babies and killed a boyfriend with a butcher knife after burning his clothes in a bathtub.

    The current whereabouts of Mikey Nifong are unknown. One reported sighting of Mikey as “a parking valet at a Fats Thomas party” is unconfirmed. Likewise a report that Mikey is Reille Hunter’s cabana boy is considered “not likely… but maybe”.

    ##

    I was notified via Twitter that ESPN conducted a Most Famous Alumni contest for each of the 64 teams in March Madness. I don’t watch ESPN so I only know what I was tweeted.

    Andy Griffith “won” for UNCCH.

    Yours Truly finished 28th behind Makhtar N’Diaye but ahead of “Young Marvin” and the late Neal Fingleton.  No clue where Jack Palance and John “Skippy” Skipper finished. Votes for “Skippy” were thrown out by ESPN vote-counters as “former ESPN CEOs undergoing rehab” are not eligible.  That doesn’t seem fair.

    No… I don’t know where Bre’r Kennel came in on NCSU’s “Most Famous” list. Maybe in a group with Reynaldo Lovisa, John Tesh, and “those twins that played for Kay Yow”.

    ##

    BLSays Movie Review…

    Yes, I have seen Death Wish 2018. Charles Bronson will ALWAYS be “Paul Kersey”… original Death Wish vigilante. Bruce Willis will always be “John McClane” (“Die Hard” series). Bruce Willis as “Paul Kersey” (now an ER doctor, not an architect) is like Sean Connery playing “Rambo”. It violates The Laws of Nature.

    Lara Croft

    This week we get a new “Lara Croft”. No more Whatshername Jolie. I will see it; violating my “no more than twomovies/year” policy. But I have concerns with the casting change. Walton Coggins (“Boyd Crowder” from Justified) plays The Super Villain so he could save it.

    ##

    Here’s hoping “your team” wins the next three weeks… despite the virtually insurmountable obstacles of (1) Being In The Hardest Bracket… and (2) “So&So referee hates you”.

    PS: Do you think there is a Fat Cat Booster at Cal State NorthRidge ecstatic that “The Matadors” are going Big Time by hiring Mark Gottfried? You know there has to be…

    .

    ######

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    BobLee
    • Doug Reply
      6 months ago

      I was once passionate about NCAA BB but totally abandoned it 5-6 years ago and don’t care or watch it at all. Any invitation to watch any game live or on TV are declined.I read enough about it to remain informed. I know how you feel about the NFL but IMO the NCAA is a far more onerous and exploitive organization especially with regards to its billion dollar baby men’s basketball tourney.

      • BobLee Reply
        6 months ago

        Oh Boy are YOU gonna like the BLS column posting this afternoon – Thurs….

    • ENC#1 Reply
      6 months ago

      Do UNC-CH and Duke fans become more and more alike each year? They have Sports greatest rivalry but are still not happy….most are only happy when making fun of each other’s players….Grayson being dirty and Hansborough traveling all the time.

      I hope we have a great tourney as it is my favorite time of the year and if my favorite team (Duke) does not win I hope a non Power 5 team does!!!

      • BobLee Reply
        6 months ago

        IMO… being a “sports fan” does not bring out the best in mankind. The 24/7 raging rhetoric in both sports & politics seems to amp up in its overall incivility by the hour.

    • Former96heel Reply
      6 months ago

      Does coach got break out the same old media talking points he did in Raleigh??
      ‘I knew the moment I saw the facilities that I could share the practice court with men’s volleyball AND bring home a conference title’ ‘these fans deserve better than sitting in a smelly gym in the Winter in Southern California’ or ‘now hiring AAU coaches for no-show jobs’ Which one was more likely?
      Come to think of it, do they even bother with media there? Just send a statement down to the student newspaper, the LA Times isn’t covering that

      • BobLee Reply
        6 months ago

        With Gott in Northridge and Herb in San Diego and, I think, MaryAnne Foxe somewhere in Calif… Amedeo’s should open a West Coast restaurant in Laguna Nigel… or Point Loma.

    • Bosco O Reply
      6 months ago

      In a few short weeks it will all be over and we can finally watch something with class: The Masters. Don’t “go” to movies but I do watch them. Saw Father of the Bride last night. Spencer Tracy and Liz.

      • BobLee Reply
        6 months ago

        For the past 4-5 years my annual “actually go to” has been give/take 2 movies/year. This year I will have three by May. Expect no problem going cold turkey after then. Using Sr discount and going to matinees, ticket is only $5… the killer is $15 for popcorn & Coke.

    • Tedensky Reply
      6 months ago

      For what it’s worth, I think Carolina did get a pretty good bracket for a change. I am curious as to what happened to Mike Nifong!

      • BobLee Reply
        6 months ago

        Mascot for the Durham Bulls? … the guy in the Bull suit.

    • TarHeel69 Reply
      6 months ago

      Good as always, but the references to Crystal and Mikey were priceless. Such socially significant events tend to make the Stephen Hawking passing pale in comparison!

      • BobLee Reply
        6 months ago

        If Stephen Hawking had NOT had whatever it was he had… Advanced MS ?? … would he have been as esteemed? He MUST be All-Knowing about “The Big Bang” because he blows thru a straw and types with his nose or whatever ???
        .
        I used to do a 20-minute routine about Duke Lacrosse… when I encountered Malik Zulu Shabazz the Potentate of The New Black Panthers at Duke… how Ruth Sheehan was thrown under bus by The N&O… my one-on-one with the Queen of The Potbangers… when the Derm Sheriff came to get Nifong’s law license and his wife said “he’s not here… he took his guitar and left…”. Legend has it they found Mikey sitting on the banks of The Eno playing “Froggy Went ACourting”… and more

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