Condi Report panned by board monkey media

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Condi Report panned by Board Monkey Media… SURPRISE!

The Long awaited Condi Report on The Future of College Basketball was released at 9 AM Wed. ,,, and by noon:

The number of self-annointed “experts” panning it was already greater than WRAL’s official attendance at a Reverend Barber Hoot & Hate which we all know was “… at least 80,000… maybe MORE!” … snort, giggle giggle.

Yes, I’ve used that line “… at least 100 times… maybe more!” and will continue to.

First… The Committee was headed by Condoleezza “Condi” Rice aka “A Bush Woman” so 50% of America are pre-programmed to HATE it “because”… well. you know why.

Second... One of the committee members was “a famous Duke guy – Grant Hill”. All the Duke-Haters hate that. FWIW…Nobody “hates” David Robinson or cares who else was on the committee.

“A Bush Woman” and “a Dookie”… you just knew Franklin Street was going to love it!

Eliminating all the Condi and Grant-haters there were only 15-16 people left in America. That is even fewer than an average audience for ESPN’s new Get Up morning show. Supposedly “Get Up” is tanking because either it is or it is not “Woke”.

Not only do I have no clue what “Woke” means, I can’t find anyone who does. But I’m not looking very hard.

For all of you who wanted The Condi Report to “be specific”… wanted it to tear down UNC’s ill-gotten banners… or wanted it to take away 1,000 of Coach K’s Wins… Sorry Charlie.

“The Condi Report” hasn’t been out 24 hours and has already been stored in that same giant warehouse with Indiana Jones’ Lost Arc… Obama’s birth certificate… Donald Trump’s tax returns… the name of The Man Who Shot Liberty Valance… and whatever WAS in Al Capone’s vault five minutes before Geraldo Rivera opened it. In other words… we’ll never see or hear about The Condi Report ever again.

Yes, I am being factitious. It is NOT being stored in Indiana Jones’ Warehouse. It’s fate is far worse than that. … An NCAA Bureaucratic Black Hole.

It is being turned over to an NCAA Committee of University Chancellors / Presidents / Provosts and Grand Poobahs. Yep… a room full of “Chihuahua Folts” and other greatly over-degreed snoots with MENSA keys and no clue whatsoever what “a ball screen” is.

For The Record: I have no clue what “a ball screen” is either.

University Administrators get to be, and to stay, University Administrators by never actually making a decision they might be held accountable for “down the road”.

The recent former Prez at Michigan State knew about the perv with the US Gymnastic girls for ten+ years and did NADA. That’s not as long as Nobody Did Anything with UNCCH’s Massive Academic Scandal To End All Academic Scandals but it was more serious.

A UNCCH Board of Trustees meeting is twenty minutes of “All in favor say Aye” and then they all go over to the Basketball Ticket Office and complain about their seats in Dean’s Dome. You think I’m kidding don’t you?

Mark Emmert – NCAA Grand Wizard – is the embodiment of “Michael Scott” the Steve Carrel character in The Office. Emmert has less credibility than a room full of CNN news anchors. WHOA!

Giving The Condi Report to any NCAA Committee is like your wife giving you a Peloton Exercise Bike for Christmas. You get all excited… read all the wonderful stuff it does… blah blah … then you move it to a corner of the bedroom and hang damp bath towels from it. By New Years you can’t find it under the pile of damp towels.

The NCAA Committee of Academic Poobahs will “hang damp bath towels” from The Condi Report. Figuratively speaking.

In three months they will send out search parties of interns to try and find what they did with the original copy of The Condi Report.

NCAA Committees only do one thing each year…. The Selection Committee for March Madness. That’s it. And no one is ever satisfied with how that is done.

Lets Cut The Crap… here’s what it’s all about.

The Real Issue frustrating Big Time College Basketball (and Football) is …

Trying to incorporate athletically-gifted young AfAm men onto college campuses that are 98% upper middle class white folks with upper class white alumni…

The sole purpose of bringing in those young AfAm men is to entertain said “white folks” (IOW… like having Doug Clark & The Hot Nuts play at a KA Fraternity party in the 60s.) … and, hopefully, provide them bragging rights over their “white folk” neighbors from other colleges.

The young AfAm men, on the other hand, are only there to showcase their basketball skills for a lucrative career in professional basketball…. PERIOD. … They are “Majoring in Basketball”. Expediting that process to The NBA is their objective… be it today, one year, two years or four years.

Translating Virgil’s Aeneid from the original Swahili is not relevant to their objective.

Alas, only a very few will ever achieve that ultimate objective. … But… If not The NBA, maybe Croatia or Upper Volta or the G / D/ XYZ League… wherever they might get a paycheck for ever how long their athletic skills last.

That many have no other marketable skill, or life interest, is a much bigger socio-cultural issue than The Future of College Basketball.

Some “white kids” come to college hoping to be Big Time Lawyers… or surgeons… or “political scientists”… and end up as telemarketers for reverse mortgage scams. The transition from Dream To Reality awaits…

An 18 y/o Nuclear Engineer Wannabee meets Mean Old Mr Calculus his freshman year and has an abrupt career change.

So… forget One & Dones. Let kids “go pro” whenever they please. Their junior year in high school…in the middle of their freshman year in college… at halftime of “the Duke game”… whenever. Like going to the bathroom… ya got go… so go.

Re: Transferring… When a coach grabs his brass ring and leaves, the kid should be able to go too… with no penalty. He “bought a package” when he signed with that school. That package changes, he gets to leave. PERIOD.

Pay The Players ???: Every pin-headed board monkey nitwit in every Power 5 fan base, or with his own Talk Show, says PAY THE PLAYER. No one says “How Much” or “Which Players”. Or “How Much is enough”?

Q: How much “legal pay” is enough to stop the illegal payments? … A: No such amount exists.

If every NCAA MBBer gets $50,000/year but School X whispers it can up that another $50K under-the-table are we back where we are now? Sure… there will always be “cheaters” no matter how thick the rule book.

Do you pay them based on the tuition of each school? A UNCCH or NCSU player gets $15,000/year (approximate tuition) but a Duke player gets $50,000 (approximate tuition). Nope, that won’t work.

Do starters get more than “biscuit boys”? … Do you get paid per playing time minute or points/game? … Do college players get agents to negotiate for them with a college?

Do we simply legalize the old “$100 handshake”… allowing for inflation? Leave it up to the Fat Cats to go into the locker room post-game and start peeling off Benjamins? A bunch of 60 y/o rich old white Fat Cats in a locker room full of large nekkid black men… ponder that visual for 30 seconds.

All those fans desperate for bragging rights don’t care if the players wearing their school’s jersey are being paid… by whom… or how much.

Fans don’t care if the players are going to class… or banging coeds… or getting “shoe $$$” from some sleazeball Evil Eye Fleagle in a back alley.

All the fans care about… is beating their hated rival as often as possible.

All the players care about… is achieving their dream of “making it to The Association” as quickly as possible.

All the NCAA Committee of University Poobahs cares about… is “kicking every controversial can down the road” so they cannot be held accountable for… anything.

Thank you Condi… and Grant… and your nice little committee. If we have any questions, we’ll contact you. Don’t call us… we’ll call you… or not. America really appreciates your nice little report.