Roger Goodell & The NFL are between "a Rock" and "a bigger Rock".

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Roger Goodell & The NFL are between a Rock and a Bigger Rock

When a story begins “Yesterday Roger Goodell announced…” you can’t help but stop what you’re doing and get the gist of the story. Not so much the “rest of the story” but just “the gist”.

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NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell announcing anything ranks with other such “Oh Boy, this oughta be good” headline grabbers as…

Giant Sinkhole in Florida swallows …
Crazy Man in Texas with three names and a bazooka…
And, our personal favorite…Two Cheerleaders in a Toilet Stall…

Like giant sinkholes… crazy three-named Texans with bazookas… and cheerleaders doing whatever; “Commish Roger” simply has a knack for making announcements that actually UNITE America. Roger ever-increasing doofus-ness crosses the aisle.

Regardless of race, gender, religion, politics, and (my personal favorite) “creed”, any Roger Goodell announcment is met with rolled eyes, raised eyebrows, smirks, guffaws, and one’s favorite 4-letter obscenity. Yesterday’s was no exception.

Statistically, nobody “likes” Roger Goodell. Generally, it is never “a good thing” when any high-profile figure’s name becomes A Verb. Ask former Durham district attorney Mike Nifong. “To Roger Goodell” is perilously close to “crossing that vernacular Rubicon”.

32 NFL owners pay Roger $40,000,0000/year to be universally disliked so “they” can avoid being universally disliked. That strategy works with about 75% of the 32 owners.

In addition to eyes, eyebrows, smirks, guffaws and 4-letter obscenities, a Goodell announcement generates 37,000 Stop The Presses angry “blogs”.

As a founding member of Smart Alecks With Websites ‘R Us I am required to join the fray although my comments are not “angry”.

CHAOS is my oxygen. I thrive on people like Roger and The Kaeper-kneelers generating CHAOS and going out of their way to keep it chaotic. They rarely if ever disappoint me.

Everyone’s all-time favorite NFL Commissioner Alvin “Pete” Rozelle never instigated even one blog, much less 37,000 of’em. There were no blogs when Alvin “Pete” was NFL Commissioner from 1960 – 1989.

There WERE controversies back in Pete’s day. “Broadway Joe” Namath’s hedonistic lifestyle… Paul Hornung and Alex Karras’ minor gambling forays… come to mind.

Yesterday, Commish Roger announced that…

Henceforth The Notorious Kaeper-Kneelers can kneel but just NOT on the sidelines during the playing of The National Anthem. The Kaeper-Kneelers have to go to the lockerroom to kneel… raise a defiant fist… mutter “We Hate Whitey” or flash “gang signs” that the aforementioned Hated Whiteys won’t understand.

No fan and no camera will see what they do “in the lockerroom” of course which totally negates the reason for doing it. The term “demonstrate” means to do something in public view that expresses one’s opinion / viewpoint.

Take away the “in public view” part of a demonstration and all you’ve got are those infamous “two cheerleaders in a toilet stall” who, you may recall, created commotion by “making sex sounds”.

10,000 unattractive women wearing pink “p***y hats while screaming obscenities doesn’t work if they are in an abandoned hangar at Wright-Patterson AFB outside Dayton OH. Reverend Bill “Bully” Barber would NEVER have one of his Hoot & Hates in a tobacco barn in remotest Johnston County. “…80,000 maybe more” can’t fit in any tobacco barn I know of.

“Demonstrations” are all about being impossible to ignore. What goes on in a closed lockerroom is easily ignorable.

Roger wasn’t specific but there was no mention of cameras or live microphones in the lockerrooms. You can bet however that cameras will follow any/all players exiting the field prior to asking “Jose, Can you see?” or returning to the sidelines following “… and Home of The Brave”..

Surely you recall whatever version of the Kaeper-Kneeling Controversy you chose to believe. This is America 2018. Truth is like a Mr PotatoHead. Each of us can make our Mr. PotatoHead look like whatever we want to. 58WolfKennel’s Mr PotatoHed and my Mr PotatoHead don’t look at all like.

Colin Kaepernick created Kaeper-Kneeling… (1) to show off his Rock/n Rollen Afro, and (2) because his very radical muslim girlfriend made him do it under threat of castration with a rusty box-cutter… and (3) to express his discontent with The American System of Justice as administered by white LEOs and Uncle Tom LEOs. Not necessarily in that order.

Colin ended up getting “black balled” (pun intended) from The NFL… becoming some sort of afro-ed Rosa Parks for having a “demonstration” named for him.

The tangible result of Kaeper-kneeling was an immediate adverse reaction from A LOT of previously devoted “addicted” NFL fans who stopped attending and/or watching games in which Kaeper-Kneelers comprised a very high % of performers.

“Kicking the NFL Habit” was amazingly easy. A high % of those “stopped watching” reactors were “white people”.

A very high % of people who pay $100+ for NFL game tickets and who watch (“used to watch”) NFL games were / are “white people”. The “white” owners of NFL teams and their “white” TV partners and “white” advertisers knew that of course. The Kaeper-kneelers should have known that and maybe they did… but didn’t care.

The Kaeper-kneelers kept kneeling and more and more “white people” found Fall Without Football wasn’t all that unbearable at all.

With yesterday’s announcement, Roger Goodell was actually speaking to all those “white people” who have told The NFL to go pound sand. He was saying to America’s sports fans…

The NFL cannot exist without Black Players … AND White Fans

So, if we make all those angry black players who really really don’t like you go hide in the lockerroom and do whatever they do there… will you come back and like The NFL again?

At the same time, Roger Goodell was telling all those angry black players that they could certainly continue really really disliking white people but they have to express that visceral dislike “where the white people can’t see it”.

Sort of like… you can continue beating up your girlfriends, baby mammas, et al but don’t do it in casino elevators with cameras… OK?

If “the white fans” can’t see how much the angry black players really dislike them maybe they will go back to buying very expensive tickets and patronizing NFL sponsors… maybe.

Roger made yesterday’s announcement WITHOUT clearing it with the NFLPA. SURPRISE!! The NFLPA isn’t happy about it AT ALL.

Today is May 24. Those stoopid NFL exhibition games start in mid-August. “What Roger said…” gives whatever % of the American public cares about The NFL something to chew on for the next three months. Oh Goody!

ESPN has already “gone to the mattresses” promising 24/7 / 365 coverage of Angry Black Players vs Stoopid White Fans thereby assuring themselves of even lower ratings next quarter. Jemele Hill is ecstatic…

Meanwhile the rest of us still have our choices of – hating Donald Trump… hating the people who like Donald Trump… hating the people who hate Donald Trump… hating The Media who hates Donald Trump… … or , like me, trying to decide if I “hate” The Shift in Baseball.

A Rule requiring two infielders on either side of 2nd base when the pitcher starts his delivery will solve my problem. No clue how to solve Roger’s problem, but he sure does have one.