BL: “Dad, get me a bag of Cheetos” and The End of An Era

    Cheetos
    BobLee
    September08/ 2018

     

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    “Dad, get me a bag of Cheetos”and other stuff

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    NO!… I have NOT given up on slowing Humanity’s quite mad rush to exterminate itself via extreme absurdity. Quite the opposite. My extended 10-day absence was due, in large part, to a faulty “logic board” in my laptop. I have no clue what a “logic board” is, but; if yours goes faulty you can’t travel the Internet super highway.

    Inability to share my observations of Humanity’s self-destruction with YOU did not keep me from observing and cataloguing it until I had access to a not-faulty logic board… you enjoy (hopefully).

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    Blondie and I were in the Far-off Land of Wisconsin helping Kid, Pastor Danny and The Twins – Call Signs “Twinkle & Scooter”– to relocate to a Very Charming Mary Tyler Moore-esque apartment in a Very Charming Norman Rockwell-esque Neighborhood of Madison.

    … Their previous apartment was neither “charming” nor in “a Norman Rockwell-esque part of Madison”.

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    BobLee, what’s with the Cheetos thing in the title…Diet MDew

    In that relocating process… Kid and I were driving twixt “previous” and “charming…” when she pulled into a c-store for gas. I said “I’m going to get a Diet Mountain Dew…”.

    I received an immediate stern admonition from Daughter Kid about the eeeevils of drinking diet soft drinks… especially Diet Mountain Dew.  I replied that “drinking Diet Mountain Dew” was my one allowable dietary No-No of choice. I got a pretty severe “evil eye” in reply…Cheetos2

    As I exited her Official Suburban Mom Honda Odyssey, Kid asked… “Dad, can you get me a bag of Cheetos?”

    … I froze in mid-exit. Slowly I turned… I cocked my head just so and we shared one of those special non-verbal Father / Daughter moments. … “WHAT?” she barked, knowing full well WHAT.

    I grinned and said “Thank you.”“For what?” she asked. … “For giving me my next column lead.” … and we were soon on our way. Me with my eeeevil toxic Diet Mountain Dew… and Kid with her Cheetos and licking her very orangey fingers.

    String together enough such special moments and you have a Life Well Lived.  Indeed…

    More

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    An Era Officially Ended for me in Madison last week…

    Here and Now… before God and all you 1,000s of BobLeeSays addicts and drop-ins I proclaim…

    I do not plan to EVER “attend” another Football game… EVER. Pro or College… EVER.

    The only exception would be complimentary tickets and parking pass… in a suite… with hosts I really like and enjoy being with. That last condition really limits the possibility.  40+% of America HATES “people like me”… and I ain’t that fond of them either.

    This decision has 99% nothing to do with kneeling, NIKE, or whatever Cory Booker is constipated about today…  OK, I know Booker was just “playing to his peeps” and auditioning for 2020 but REALLY!.

    Last Friday night “Pastor Danny” and I attended a Wisconsin Badger FB game in historic Camp Randall Stadium along with 80,000+ red-clad Badger fans. Wisconsin is a Top Five-rated team. “A FB game in Camp Randall Stadium” is touted as among the most enjoyable in all of Big Time College Football. UW students are famous for their “school spirit traditions”.

    Kid and Danny’s afore-mentioned “Norman Rockwell-esque neighborhood” is only a 4-block walk to The Stadium… I got our tickets (upper deck on “the 20”) thru StubHub for $16/ea… The weather was IDEAL… low 70s with a breeze. …Danny and I had “brats” from a vendor at one of the fan party sites outside The Stadium… the fans around us were all polite “God-lovin’ Middle Americans”.

    It was a cupcake game against Western Kentucky and UW blew them out 33-3 as expected. As befits a Big Ten Powerhouse… The Stadium has a gianormous video board at one end and assorted not quite as gianormous video boards around the stadium affording all 85,000 a view.

    YES… of course there is an IPF. It is next to The Stadium / Fieldhouse and seems to be 8-10 years old and of the Hindenburg Hangar design. No clue as to smoothie machines, prolific charging stations, et al. Wisconsin FB leans to a Spartan Old-School style.

    The core of UW FB is Caucasian “Big-Uns” from small town dairy farms across the state. They do “go get” out-of-state AfAms for the “skill positions”… and the occasional transfer QB! More about You-Know-Who in a moment.

    In their pre-game festivities they run a video montage of UW campus / Madison landmarks / and notable former Badgers… and YES… “Russell” was among the notable former Badgers along with “Crazy Legs” Hirsch, Pat Richter and JJ Watt etc.

    Guess whose picture on the gianormous screen received the loudest ovation?

    Barry Alvarez the UW Athletics Director. YIKES! … BadgerNation LOVEs the guy. Where else in America would The AD command the unabashed adoration of a fan base?

    Barry Alvarez revived UW FB as HC in the 90s with several Big Ten titles… Rose Bowls… et al and established a Foundation of Excellence that he now oversees as AD.

    For assorted reasons, UW has managed to (1) be “very good year after year” AND (2) avoid the usual “ya can’t win without Thugs” environment. …That said

    They are now in a bit of a mess involving one of those aforementioned “skill-position players”, his “skill position roommate” … two VERY drunk coeds … a nasty legal debate over the term “consensual” with a blood alcohol level in the OMG level… and incriminating cell phone pics of an indelicate nature. Both “skill position players” are suspended pending resolution of that debate.

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    Somewhat related… I assume most everyone reading this knows that notorious “Roy Bad Boy” PJ Hairston is “back in the news”. …. LINK …. Moving right along.

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    “Pastor Danny” was “a FB Legend” at Westfield HS in Indianapolis a dozen years ago. He had FB offers from various Big Ten schools but eschewed them for a first-class education at Wheaton Univ and an enjoyable Div III FB experience.

    I asked him if he ever second-guessed playing in front of 80,000 fans instead of 8,000. Nope, not at all.

    “Those 40 Saturdays were just a small part of “going to college” for me” Danny said. He is still close to his Wheaton teammates, all of whom are out-in-the-world contributing in various ways utilizing their “real education” earned at Wheaton.

    Danny and I “had a nice time” and I’m glad we went. But I (and Danny) don’t need to go again for all the reasons that so many are reaching a similar conclusion across America.

    I WILL follow UW FB and I will follow the local ACC teams but I prefer the creature comforts available in a “not being there” experience.

    Our experience was not “expensive” at all nor involved “hassles”.  The primo issue was soooo much Dead Time with TV time outs.  Watching cutesy videoboard crap didn’t help.  Unless one is in a suite with options; it is sit on your hands and………

    I am NOT admonishing those of you who DO enjoy the “being there” for any / all reasons that you do. I simply don’t and won’t any more.

    FWIW… Danny & Kid choose not to own a TV. They DO watch Netflix via laptops and Danny watches Wheaton games thru some on-line hook-up but no ESPN et al for them.

    More.

    That segues us to the current NFL… KaeperKneelers… NIKE ad Brouhaha. THAT GawdAwful Mess merits its own in-depth discussion.

    Lets take a break for now. I promise to expound on “all that” by Monday…

    I think I’ll go enjoy a Diet Mountain Dew… AND “a bag of Cheetos”. Toodle Loo…

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    Next Time.

    IF You “Do Twitter”… Follow BobLee at @BobLeeSays

    2,000 more BobLeeSays commentaries – LINK

    BobLee
    • Babs.Derm Reply
      2 weeks ago

      Love the Cheetos “moment”. Can see it right now!! One of my complete favorite friends is a Badger. Great family, his Dad is a retired judge (Republicans). To meet this guy is to love him. Rarely are you fortunate to come across one of those in a lifetime.

      • BobLee Reply
        2 weeks ago

        The Cheetos Moment has become a family legend… Every family needs its legends. 🙂

    • Dave Hintz Reply
      2 weeks ago

      Amen, BL, Amen on “big time” FB experience. I enjoy my Lazy Boy & HD TV when FB time rolls around. Only want to experience a Kinnick Saturday & Lambeau Sunday one more time before I’m dust…but not losing any sleep to do so. Dave H.

      • BobLee Reply
        2 weeks ago

        DUDE!! Great to hear from you! Hope all is well with family. Have NOT gotten over to Milwaukee in our Wiscy visits but hope to catch a Brewers game next Spring.

    • robedixon Reply
      2 weeks ago

      That get the evil eye story reminds me a moment some years ago when my oldest son had someone from school call me at work and tell me he had a bad stomach ache and wanted to go home. So I went to school picked him up and headed home which happened to be about lunch time. I asked him if he minded if I did a quick drive thru at Wendys and get me something for lunch since I was using my lunch time to take him home. As we drove thru the line at Wendys my son looked over at me and said would I mind buying him a couple of double stacks for lunch. Of course my evil eye looked at him and noted that he had just told me his stomach hurt real bad and he needed to go home. He looked at me with that oh crap smile and said I might not have been too sick before but he sure was now.

      • BobLee Reply
        2 weeks ago

        And its not like WE ever pulled crap like that “back in the day”…. 🙂
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        How else would I have seen Bill Mazeroski’s walk-off HR in Game 7 of 1960 World Series?

    • CNR Reply
      2 weeks ago

      Loved your column. Will be commenting later. Danny is my hero. As is Kid.

      • BobLee Reply
        2 weeks ago

        If you think THEY are pretty cool… you oughta meet “Twinkle & Scooter”!

    • goose Reply
      2 weeks ago

      Fedorka should have been fired at half-time, asked to turn in his jersey and leave immediately. Possibly the worst performance by a Heels team, ever. Who cares how many are suspended as I assume his paycheck surely stays the same regardless.
      Kenan could set some lack of attendance records before Sept ends!

      • BobLee Reply
        2 weeks ago

        Has Les Miles been promised a prime lot at Governors Club YET… or Belichek or Saban? Are “The BOT 3” jetting across the country to find “a new messiah” to awaken The Sleeping Giant? … by quick count, this is the 3rd or 4th version of the Franklin Street Frenzy in the past 20+ years.
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        When “they”left out the smoothie machines in the $32M IPF i feared this might happen !!!

    • DB.Charl Reply
      2 weeks ago

      Hopefully you didn’t waste your time today watching the Tar Heels abysmal performance in Greenville.
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      Great column about your visit to Wisconsin. Glad you & The Rev. Son-in-Law had your time together at the Wisconsin game. Sounds like your daughter made a good choice in husbands.

      • BobLee Reply
        2 weeks ago

        I did watch. Dowdy has not been hospitable to UNCCH FB for many years. Apparently that $32M IPF has NOT made UNC FB competitive enough yet. Time to add those smoothie machines. Shaping up as a bad September in FedoraWorld.
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        Indeed Pastor Danny is a very solid fellow.

    • Doug Reply
      2 weeks ago

      Somewhere there must be a millennial playbook. Wrapping up watching Scotty Montgomery save his job……for at least one more week.

      • BobLee Reply
        2 weeks ago

        The Curse of Silent Sam !! UNCCH has never won a football game since SSam was torn down. THAT is a Fact! Coincidence ???

    • ELB. Beaufort Reply
      2 weeks ago

      One of, maybe THE, Best BLSays Ever. Thank You!

      • BobLee Reply
        2 weeks ago

        YIKES! I liked it too. Thanks. Having to slog thru the crap “in the news” is a bummer. I will try to do more “of these”.

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