Is Chapel Hill now “The Angry Mob Capital of America”?
DAMN IT… My incredible NFL Kaeper-Kneelers / NIKE Ad column gets pre-empted AGAIN. This time by the announcement from Guinness that…
Chapel Hill has been declared…
“The Angry Mob Capital of America”.
When the notorious Orange County community just had TWO Angry Mobs going – SilentSamYes and SilentSamNo, they were deadlocked with 5-6 other municipal hotbeds of “Always Pissed-Off About Something”.
Chapel Hill / ChapelBoro broke that tie big time following the humiliating butt-whuppin’ Saturday afternoon down in Pitt County. Maybe you heard about it? Maybe Larry Fedora still remembers this one?
Now there are THREE rompin stompin “WE DEMAND…” mobs parading up and down scenic Franklin Street. Which one are “the eyes of the nation” focusing on? Only Chancellor Chihuahua knows…
Anyhoo… a FireFedora Mob had organized and were printing t-shirts and obscene signage before the UNCCH team bus had crossed I-95 limping back home. Does a Ram have a tail to tuck between its legs? Aaaaarrrgghh!
If you thought the AntiFa Hairballs and the Whistlin’ Dixie Guys were a sight, wait’ll you see several dozen goggle-eyed board monkeys determined once again to Wake up the Sleeping Giant.
In the 20 years of this website we’ve been down this Road To Perdition what … 4… 5… 6… times?
Other than the nominal fee that The City collects for an “angry mob permit”, the advantage of being The Angry Mob Capital of America is questionable. Having More Vegans Per Capita or More Prius Hook-Ups Per Paved Street might be more marketable to their target demographic.
I have nothing against Larry Fedora. He is “a big time college football coach”… he is NOT a “best-selling author” or a sleazy politician or a pedophile priest or a hypocritical journo-idealogue or a tenured academic pinhead. Larry Fedora is just… a football coach.
Other than David Cutcliffe, Mike Leach and 2-3 others, “football coaches” are all cut from the same bolt of cloth. Most can’t put together two consecutive sentences without risking cliché overload. Which is not all bad as their fan base audience is largely composed of goggle-eyed mouth-breathers seeking some vicarious shred of achievement to hang their continued existence on.
When that fan base is denied that “vicarious shred of achievement” they tend to get rowdy and rather bloodthirsty. The Franklin Streeters are at that point just two weeks into the 2018 season.
When your fan base – and maybe your coaches & players too – are actually hoping that Hurricane Florence hits next Saturday morning… saving the humiliation of “a Little Big Horn” by Central Florida amid Kenan’s Lofty Pines… You Got A Problem.
When it is mid September and your fan base has only one game circled on the schedule – Western Carolina on November 17… You Got A Problem.
Basketball Season began in Chapel Hill on September 8 around 6:45 PM. That’s about as early as any one can recall… UNCCH has Got A Problem.
If you can’t resist pumping the brakes to look at Roadkill… surf social media for “Insane UNC Fan” under various synonyms.
Watch for the truly insane ones screaming… “They”, meaning UNC, won’t get serious about Football blah blah blah…”
“Not Serious About Football” UNC just spent $32,000,000 for gaudy “recruiting bling” in the form of a ridiculous Indoor Practice Facility… For One Reason. Because semi-literate 17 y/os like bright shiny things… and because “even Wake Forest has one”.
I guarantee you that those hysterical google-eyed WE DEMAND board monkeys did NOT contribute their couch change to that $32,000,000. They never do.
A few 100 deep-pocketed Fat Cat Rams keep anteing up for Blue Zones and IPFs and whatever the next GOTTA HAVE will be. It is their trust fund $$$ to throw down bottomless pits as they choose.
Me? I’m waiting for the Gotta Go Get wish list to show up. If it hasn’t already… Les Miles – Lane Kiffin – Nick Saban – Bill Belichek – Mack Brown (for sure) – et al. Some nitwit will want “Butch” back. Carl Torbush and John Bunting?… probably not.
Are there any prime lots left at Governors Club? I recall some loonies a dozen years ago discussing “a UNC fat cat has offered Steve Spurrier a lot at Governors Club”. Steve opted for Lake Murray.
Will the UNC BOT – that has mismanaged The Silent Sam Issue into an epic train wreck – get their well-manicured fingers on this?
Will there be a 2018 version of The BOT3 to scour the countryside for The Next Messiah? Those silly jaunts are always a bountiful barrel of column fodder. I bet BOTBob Winston will NOT be among The Searchers this go-round.
Jake Wade coined the phrase “The Southern Part of Heaven”.
Will I get credit for “The Angry Mob Capital of America” ??
If you haven’t checked out my most recent column – “Dad, get me a bag of Cheetos.” PLEASE DO – LINK.
It is “one of those columns I like to write for normal folks to enjoy”. If you are “a normal folk” I think you will.
Our recent trip to Madison WI got me “off my feed” as traveling often does. I have slight intolerances to Gluten… Lactose.. and Scary People on Twitter.
By Day Three I had figured it out. I cut out “bread on sandwiches”… “dairy in all forms” … and “four people I was following on Twitter” one of whom I am pretty sure was Patient Zero for Trump Derangement Syndrome (TDS).
Some doses of BeneFiber and I was hitting on all cylinders again. All of Life’s Problems should be so easy to resolve…
So once again I PROMISE I will get to that NFL / Kaeper-kneelers / NIKE column ASAP. DO NOT make up your mind until you read it!
IF You “Do Twitter”… Follow BobLee at @BobLeeSays