Ugly Tuxedos & Herding Cats

Ugly Tuxedos & Herding Cats

....... August 20, ’12:  I feel like Hans Solo flying the Millenium Falcon thru Deep Space.  Parallel universes are flying by at warp speed. Like Dorothy Gale during the Kansas tornado..... there goes mean ol’ Miss Gulch riding her bicycle. Oh, look – there's Julius Peppers wearing a day-glo tuxedo while trying to herd a messa cats.....

Another day amid The Great Unpleasantness.  

We’ve all seen enough trial dramas to know the drill.   The defense attorney has a gangbanger he is trying to get off.  He needs every jury manipulation gimmick he can muster.   He suggests that his client show up in court in a suit and tie.  Thinking the perp goes to Mens Wearhouse and gets a traditional dark suit, white shirt, conservative tie, etc.  ..... Day of his trial, client shows up in a day-glo tuxedo assuming if a little was good then more is better.

That was my thought as I read Julius Peppers letter explaining his college transcript.  The concept of a statement from Peppers was good.   An eloquent epistle that read like a William F. Buckley essay on existentialism, not so good.

If I was Peppers, I would probably release a statement explaining my side.  I would have my inner circle of advisors review the letter.  The final wording would reflect our unified best effort to achieve our objective.  The wording would be the equivalent of “a dark suit, white shirt and conservative tie”.

By the time anyone was two paragraphs into Pep’s epistle, all one could see was poor Pep standing there is an ugly tuxedo saying “do I look mighty fine or what?” ..... Klunk!

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Remember my initial comments when Marvin first tweeted?   

Every UNC FB roster has had a handful (2-3-4) of guys who had marginal academic skills.  With 2-3-4 it is easy to assign “handlers” to get them to class and assign what legitimate tutorial help is appropriate.  With 2-3-4 outstanding skill-position athletes albeit marginal students, a team can be reasonably successful over the years. UNC FB has been reasonably successful over the past 40 years comparable to other universities with similar priorities relative to Big Time College Football.  NC State, UVa, etc.  

Until the infamous BOT3 told Butcher that they wanted MORE.  The secret to better teams on the field is no secret – better athletes.  Butcher, with Blake, promptly went out and recruited toe-toe with the SEC.  First thing ya know....

Those 2-3-4 “marginal students” mushroomed to 15-20.  That was simply too many cats to herd.  The Saint Butcher Choir is now singing that “poor Butch” inherited the AFAM chicanery.  The Nyang’orian Scam was in place pre-Butch, but when Butch turned those 2-3-4 into 15-20 he overloaded the system - KABOOM!

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Two Parallel Universes:

Universe #1:  Sad Reality..... an academic flim flam has been operating within UNC Athletics for “a while”.  That is embarrassing, shameful and totally inconsistent with the virginal image perpetuated by The Carolina Way and its High Priest – Dickie Baddour.  How deep the flim flam goes and for how long it has been going is being determined.  I bet the Martin Committee WILL answer those questions in relatively short order.  

There is a price that must be paid when an institution is found to be operating outside of acceptable boundaries.  That full price is yet to be determined; but it will be.... and it will be paid.

Universe #2:  ABC Reality..... I predicted this in those early days.  Ever how bad this scandal gets, a contingent of ABC bottom-feeders would race lickety-split to draw embarrassment upon themselves.  Instead of letting UNC fester in its own public humiliation for its assorted sins of omission and commission.... these numbnutz have managed to embarrass themselves and their respective rival camps.  In so doing, live down to the negative stereotypes perpetrated by the afore-mentioned Carolina Way nimrods.

I’ve been divebombed lately by some kamikaze board monkeys.  So engaged they can't kick their dog or shoplift from The Dollar Store.   I can take it.  Some are kids who don’t know any better.  Some are 45 y/o little league right fielders who should “know better” but don’t.  Carolina is simply on a long list that includes bosses, spouses, ex-spouses, neighbors, co-workers, any authority figures, retail clerks, service personnel ....pretty much everyone that has contributed to their miserable plight in life.

Winston Churchill & Lady Astor were seated next to one another at a hoity toity dinner. 
Churchill was “into his cups”........

Lady Astor admonished him:  “Mr Churchill you sir are drunk!”

Churchill replied:  “Lady Astor you are ugly.   Tomorrow morning I will be sober; but you will still be ugly”

UNC will, someday, have this embarrassing mess behind them; but the lynch mob losers will still be..........  

Fascinating Factoids:

Holden Thorp was Dean of the College of Arts & Sciences for ONE year – 2007.   What he did know or shoulda known, he was only in that role for ONE year.   You can win a lot of bar bets with ABCers with this one.  

Those with very limited/no knowledge of the real circumstances criticize Holden Thorp for “firing Butch” .... “not firing Nyang’oro” .... “not having intimate knowledge of the goings-on re: the athletic academic support department“..... “not knowing what every faculty member was up to 24/7”.  A case can be made that he shoulda.   All of those circumstances were set in motion by one miscalculation:

“one nail from one shoe..... one horse one rider.... one message one battle.... and one war was lost."

Holden Thorp trusted Dickie Baddour to (1) know what was going on within the UNC Athletic Department and (2) to inform him of any/all irregularities within that department.  Baddour did neither.  

THAT misplaced trust, like Paris’ love for Helen, subsequently “burned the topless towers of Ilium”.

Jimmy V was done in by having no AD to rein him in. 
Carolina was done in by having an empty pair of tassel loafers in its AD office. 

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This is not about Holden Thorp.  This has never been about Holden Thorp.  This has always been about Roy & The Rafters.

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Lizzie Borden killed her parents in 1892. The Titanic sunk in 1912.  The Lindbergh baby was kidnapped in 1932. ..... John Swofford was not born until 1948.

John Swofford was UNC AD from 1980-1997.   
Richard “Dickie” Baddour held the title of UNC AD from 1997-2011.
Bubba Cunningham is now the UNC AD. 
Nine months ago, the only “Julius” Bubba knew was the one that crossed the Rubicon.

John Swofford has been ACC Commissioner from 1997-2012.  The World Trade Towers were destroyed in 2001. So Commissioner Swofford could have been in cahoots with George Bush and the Tri-Lateral Commission on that one.