Larry, Dave, Dave & Dave

Dec 10;’13:  “Hi.  I’m Larry.  These are my fellow local ACC head football coaches Dave.... Dave..... and the newest Dave.”   Alls we need is Bob Newhart and, more importantly, Mary Frann in a fluffy sweater?

Was I the only one to immediately think of “Larry & the Daves” relative to Newhart’s “Larry & the Darryls”.   Yes, I am aware that Coach Cutcliffe is as often “David” as he is “Dave”.  This is my website.  I make the rules.

Even Prince Albert remembers Larry, Darryl & Darryl! 

Wake Forest's Ron Wellman is hiring Bowling Green’s Dave Clawson as, hopefully, their “David” to slay the Goliaths of Big Time College Football.   Exiting “Gentleman Jim” Grobe gamely held his own for over a decade but 2006 proved unrepeatable and Duke’s Dave is proving “it” can be done.... so long as “it” is sorta within reason.

Duke’s Dave’s recent success was pressuring Ron to a degree as is his “what oh what to do about Bzzzz” dilemma.   Bzzzz is Coach Jeff Bzedlik who is woefully short of V's - vowels and victories - in his ever-how-long span as Deacon cage coach.   Jeff hasn’t caused anyone in Winston-Salem to forget Bones or Skip.... or even Carl Tacy.

A once nice & polite program that boasts such alumni luminaries as Tim Duncan, Chris Paul, Lyn Chappell, Rodney Rogers and THREE guys from Kinston; and even Billy Packer has fallen into The Chasm of Total Irrelevance under the vowel-deficient Bzzzz.   

Coaches with difficult names containing “z” and “k” have traditionally done pretty good in the ACC until now.

DC, DC and a DD.... that is as alphabetically efficient as you can get with three random coaches in one state.

I like Wake’s (Ron’s) new hire because (1) I really like Ron Wellman and he is somewhat maligned these days.  My support will undoubtedly buoy him somewhat.   (2) I really like every Demon Deacon I’ve ever known.   I’m sure they have their “crazy nutjobs locked in the basement” because every fan base has’em.   But I don’t know’em or care too.  Go Deacs!

And (3) Dave From Bowling Green seems to have THE resume I would evaluate as perfect for being as successful at Wake as is humanly possible.   He has experienced success as Head Coach at three levels of college football (Fordham, Richmond and Bowling Green) and, like Duke’s Dave, has been Off Coor at Tennessee.

Give me an experienced Football CEO and I’ll give you any flavor-of-the-month coordinator and mine’ll beat your’n four outta five.   Both Carl Torbush and John Bunting could draw plays on napkins and could get in players’ faces..... and both lacked CEO OJT when they began their ill-fated tenures as UNC HFC.   

Two very fine fellows but their lack of FB CEO acumen doomed them.

“Managing one’s peers to successful objectives” is very difficult and aplenty of good guys (and gals) find it beyond their skill set.   Dave From Bowling Green has earned his bones as “a football boss”.  Score one for Ron Wellman and his search team.

Speaking of Ron’s search team...... knowing Wellman, I’m betting his “search team” was not concerned with being “diverse”.   “Search Committees” at my alma mater are always sources of most wonderful column fodder.   Finding an Eskimo midget, a dyslexic shepherd and two bisexual descendants of Kunte Kinte always slows down the search process.  A short Eskimo won’t do..... he/she/it has to be a certified midget to score oh-so-necessary diversity points.

A braying jackass is always easy to find.  They just call Gene Nichol over at The Law School and he tromps over in full bluster.

I’m betting Ron’s search team fit comfortably in the rental car he got at Bowling Green Airport on his trip to Deaconize Dave.

Maybe Ron’s team included a former New York Yankee pitcher?  How’s THAT for “diverse” by golly.

I digress.... so Ron takes about a week to Deacon-up Dave Clawson..... expedited somewhat by Clawson whupping previously undefeated Northern Illinois on national TV.   WHOA..... wait a sec..... Northern Illinois ???  Where have we heard about them?  

Dagnabbit..... THAT is where WuffDave came from a year ago.   This whole thing is getting more like a Duck Dynasty family reunion by the second.   Dave and Dave both coached at Tennessee and Dave and Dave both coached in “The MAC”.....

......and now Dave, Dave and Dave are Larry’s coaching brothers within a 120 miles section of North Carolina.   Tell me Nostradamus predicted THAT!

So now we got us three Daves, one Larry and a Ruffin running around from Murphy To Manteo looking for “meat on the hoof”.  (What, no french hens or lords aleaping?) ..... Not to mention poachers from adjoining states.   That fabled recruiting fence around the state that gets written about EVERY season for the past 30 years gets even mo’ crowded.

NOTE:  I’m checking to see if Bowl promoters are still scamming loyal fans by giving their booster clubs really crappy seat allotments.   Intimidating loyal fans to buy crappy tickets from your booster club so your school gets a reputation for “travels well”.   Other than the Big Games in Places You Can Get To Easily Or Want To Get To At All ...... bowl game promoters can’t even give tickets away.   Orphans, homeless guys and even The League of Women Voters are turning down “freebies” these days.

Show up at any bowl game ticket window fifteen minutes before kick-off wearing a ski mask and a gun carved out of soap and they’ll hand-over “a block of 20 on the 50”.  Trust me.

Welcome Deacon Dave Clawson.   Looking forward to meeting you on my next visit with The Moricles.

Relax.... I know you guys..... here's the obligatory "Mary Frann In A Sweater" pic.


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Posted: December 10, 2013 at 3:39 PM by SaidWHATMedia | with 11 comments
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Emmette Taylor
The Eskimo midget.. too much. Just wanted you to know been mia as we moved to the great state of Georgia. Look forward to your articles to keep in touch. Thailand reminded me of some good fb players under coach Edwards. Boy, times have changed...

BL: "Change" is life's most reliable "constant".

So you're another expatriate from Downeast!
12/17/2013 5:37:52 PM

We've been watching the 70s Newhart, now I'll have to move into the 80s version.

I'm pretty sure John Bunting won a D-III title with Glassboro St. (now Rowan Univ) here in NJ. One of the locals played for Bunting at Glassboro. He quit the team because he couldn't stand the guy. I never got a straight answer why. There's always another side.

I'm relying on you, AP and Plotthound to get my NC news these days. One of these days I'll quit reflexively going the the disturber site.


BL: Yes, JB was indeed HFC at tiny Glassboro but, by his own admission, that was hardly OJT CEO experience.

We (AP & CPH) will not let you down. :-)
12/12/2013 12:21:43 PM

Lived in Berry “jock dorm", in spring 1964. Thai’s “Mafia” occupied the back, ground floor. They were "off season" and sometimes a bit rowdy (surprise). Played “games” but the general public or a passing nerd was not at risk of being a "knockout" victim.

Your column and it's theme was really clever and was easy to follow.

Reading articles about NEW Dave and his elation reminds me of MIDDLE Dave's presser last year. Both consider it to be destination jobs...for now.

Read your piece at the LJVM Coliseum at intermission last night. There were a LOT of Well Heeled ( fund raiser with Neil Sedaka) WF fans there as their "FIRE BZZZZZ" Christmas buttons had black and gold flashing LED's – not traditional red and green. No Wellman siting.

Remember TOB answered the "QUESTION" correctly 5 times in the springs of 08 thru 12; "Don't know WHAT it feels like to lose to UNC" with a slight grin. He was NOT invited to the 13 NCSU Coach's Caravan. AD Yow gave Middle Dave ONE "get out of jail FREE" card - to be used in 14.

Time will tell.. OUR STATE is "fightin" words now - not a will interesting....

BL: "Our State" should be a biz school study in advertising campaigns. I'm sure the agency's presentation played to BOFFO reactions from NCSU admins.... but did anyone play Devil's Advocate and ask "what if ......?"

Again.... I equate this to The Carolina Way "campaign".

I think Wellman survives fine but Bzzzz might not unless he goes bonkers the next 60 days.
12/11/2013 10:40:22 AM

Larry (Bill Sanderson) of Newhart sat at the bar sipping draught beer with me at Crowley's on Medlin a few years ago.....Nice guy who had relatives in Raleigh.... We talked about Bob Newhart and the show a bit......Said Bob was one of the good guys.

Joe Scarpati and Tony Koszarsky, and Jim Rossi, and Pete Falzarano were the 'mafia' backfield in the early 60's.....Pete F was a student teacher a Martin Jr. High when I was there and very likeable.....He got me tickets for the game at Kenan and treated a few of my Martin buddies and I to a 36-yard TD romp up the middle......The best days of college football for me when better athletes went both ways and linemen were not 360LB behemoths who can only play a few minutes at a time, and unfortunately face a premature death down the road-- a lot of fatties out there.....Joe Scarpati won academic honors..... Didn't know he held for Dempsey.

State coeds at risk (good kid, given a second chance to play football and darn it he doesn't strike again), Carolina coeds, Duke coeds at risk (9MM and all)...... another with a rape tag ( see Fareek Fanon of Tom Wolfe's A Man in Full?), Fla. State coeds at risk, NCAA, Heisman credentials at risk......
Thugaletes taking their teams to 30-some odd bowl games still roaming unsupervised along campus library walkways at night--scary.
Sexual assault, rape, murder? And preferred seating offered to the general public over the boosters--go figure..... Doesn't seem all that fun anymore to me.
Pro game makes more sense.....Big Time College Football and Basketball reeks--but millions say otherwise so I'll just lumber down the beach over this way and take a peek on the internet here and there. I always cave. :-)

Lynn Chappell? :-) Now he was one big guy.....took his false teeth out at Campbell Basketball School a long time back and pretended to be a vampire as he came at a bunch of screaming giggling kids at the old Buies Creek gym.....Scared the bejeebers out of a lot of ACC teams back then as well.....

Your writing is keeping a few other expats amused these days as well--couple of Serbs and Germans might be getting in touch with you......

And you have that diversity thing about nailed--but Eskimo Midgets might get you in hot water at the Alaskan Shoot-out--maybe Aleut little people :-)

From Thailand

BL: BT College FB really is like "loving sausage", which I do - I worship at the altars of Jesse Jones & Jimmy Dean. Just don't ask how its made.

Serbs, Croats and Aleuts could be an untapped market for Internet smart-aleckyness.

Sanderson (Larry) was also in my all-time fave Western - Lonesome Dove as "Lippy" the chuckwagon guy.
12/11/2013 8:18:57 AM

I have only the best wishes for the new Dave and lasting respect for Grobe.

Ever since I witnessed the Deacons upset Choo Choo and the Heels at Kenan in 1947, I have had a lasting respect for this small school and great University. The subsequent years have only reinforced this admiration. While my allegiance has transitioned from Carolina to State as a graduate, I have a special place in my heart for this school that seems always to be the perennial underdog despite some very astounding accomplishments in both FB and BB.

Besides, despite all else, WF remains the only traditional school in the conference that can wear Black without a tinge of hypocrisy and the appearance of groveling to some vague
group of recruits because everyone else is doing it. (Md. Is leaving so they don't count and besides who the hell knows what their colors de jour are?)

Go Deacs!.......Go Gold and Black!

BL: All valid points! Indeed, if "black unis" were the key to impressing "blue-chippers" why doesn't WF have abunch of'em ???

If one compartmentalizes the ACC into "comparables" then WFU holds its own VERY WELL vs UNC, NCS, Duke, UVa. :-)
12/11/2013 8:14:13 AM

MB in Balmer
Are you going to Belk Bowl? I thought about you when this was announced. You had told be before that the Rams tickets were in the end zone while sideline tickets were available through the Belk site. I am going to order through the bowl site unless someone gives me good tickets.

My brother, the Judge in Charlotte, had lunch recently with Darryl from the Newhart Show. The guy lives in Charlotte now. I forget what he does for a living.

BL: No, I don't "do bowls" but wish them well and will be watching for sure.

My sources have not confirmed if the booster ticket scam is still in effect..... so I assume it is.

Warn all Rams to "be careful". Caveat Emptor!

It is a DISGUSTING practice and MUST BE STOPPED ...... like I really care! :-)
12/10/2013 9:46:46 PM

Several weeks ago I was watching the Old Domion - Liberty University game on regional/local Norfolk TV and the "color guy" was none other than "Burly John" Bunting. He wasn't bad, showed great enthusiasm and came across as very likable. Seriously this old gray wolf liked him but I really liked Brad Daugherty (sp?) doing college basketball. Unfortunately Burly John isn't going to make anyone forget Keith Jackson. Didn't look like he majored in broadcast journalism, but his love of the game and players showed. He obviously did his homework as he knew all about the players from ODU and Liberty.

BL: "Burly" has been doing "color" for several years now for ISP (??). No, he never saw himself "in the booth" as a career.
12/10/2013 7:50:33 PM

Yes, I loved Larry--Darryl and Darryl, but must confess that I did not remember Mary Frann's name. She was a beauty however.

BL: Indeed she was..... as was The Henderson Hottie!!!
12/10/2013 6:18:46 PM

I was always baffled that Newhart had some wonderful tv wives.

In may day, WFY coeds wore plaid skirts....and their mothers wore winter white.

BL: Everyone wondered how goofy Ol' Bob got Suzanne Plezhette & Mary Frann. ?????
12/10/2013 5:46:11 PM

Hmmm...ya think those guys are going to open a road kill cafe? I had to laugh at the tie in to Newhart, I loved those guys. They were as UN mainstream as it gets. Anyway, one would be remiss if it wasn't noticed that Ron made that pick pretty quickly. Me thinks that rabbit was already in his hat and he had nothing up his sleeve.

BL: Could be. Wellman's a sly one, he is.

Or he coulda used the Dickie Method.... spin around in a circle three times and throw a dart at a Football Coach Directory.

No indication that Ron called Rick Barnes or Sean Miller on this one.
12/10/2013 5:45:43 PM

Mary Frann, Gene Nichol and a dyslexic shepherd.... pretty sure you've broken new ground in Internet commentary yet again.

BL: Lord knows. We do try to. AND Lyn Chappel too.
12/10/2013 5:29:17 PM

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