Diogenes Visits Tuscaloosa PLUS.....


Feb 14, ’13:  Did ya read that four Alabama’s footballers were arrested this week for armed robbery and assault.  You may not have read that Diogenes visited Tuscaloosa this week..... In other news, the SACSCC kicks UNC-CH in the cajones..... and Jim Delany’s group are giving up cupcakes for Lent. .......

America’s most overrated college football coach – Lane Kiffin - is credited (probably erroneously) for the quote – “Angels don’t play fooball..... so we don’t recruit angels.”  I’ve always liked that quote.  If not the quotee.

If that mischievous ol’ Greek cynic – Diogenes – visited Tuscaloosa in the aftermath of this recent thug-alete outbreak how might he find the attitude of the locals?  

Do you think “Diog” could find even ONE single Crimson Tide fan who gives a rip about the criminal nature of a few of Nick’s grid-youngsters?  Nothing more than a few insignificant broken eggs in the making of a modern college football dynasty.  

The three crystal footballs that Nick has brought to Tuscaloosa more than make up for this latest bit of behavioral unfortunatecy.  Which of St Nick’s SEC rivals can “throw stones” anyway.    LSU..... Florida..... Georgia.... Tennessee ????  Not hardly.  This is the vaunted SEC..... where football felons are far more prized than Rhodes Scholars.

Diogenes might also have a tough time finding one single certified board monkey lunatic in America who would not gladly trade four felons for three (and counting) crystal footballs.   Would you?

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Meanwhile in The County of Orange...... yet another dose of "awwww crap" has percolated out of The Great Unpleasantness.   Everyone who knows what the SACSCC stands for please doff your mortarboard and move to the head of the class.

The Southern Association of Colleges and Schools Commission on Colleges has issued “a strongly worded notice.....” to UNC-CH as to “the legitimacy of degrees awarded to an unspecified number of graduates....”. In other words “more residual crap on top of the giant pile o’ crap” already piled up since young Marvin tweeted almost three years ago next month.

The same regional newspaper that chooses “left leaning” to describe the Obamic Regime chooses “strongly worded” to describe the SACSCC notice.  That might lead one to think this notice has hit South Bldg with the impact of a mega-ton bunker-buster dropped down the vent shaft of a Saddam Hussein spider-hole.   

If the impact set off an epidemic of teeth-gnashing “Oh Mes & Oh Mys” on Franklin Street.... it also set off a euphoric spontaneous celebration at ABC World HQ on a certain West Raleigh Brickyard.   Wuff-Historians were scouring their records to see if there had ever been a “rush The Brickyard” celebration.  The “kid in the wheelchair” and “the Real Bob Kennel” are running around in circles “looking for somebody to hug”.

To receive a “strongly worded notice” from anyone is disconcerting to academics. OK, from anyone but that nitwit goober - PhilipBridges’86 – who hates Roy.  No one much cared about PhilipBridges’86’s strong words.

My immediate reaction was two-fold:

#1 - This won’t make for “a good day” for Holden Thorp and my other friends in UNC’s Ivory Tower.   

#2 – The “legitimacy of a degree” in AfAmStudies ???  Come on man....!

Since when has anyone ever claimed any degree in AfAm WAS legitimate.  The whole silly curricula was never anything but reparational appeasement to dissuade terminal limo liberal guilt by a confederacy of pseudo-elitist pin-heads.

To imply there was EVER legitimacy to any degree in AfAm is akin to revealing that UNC’s mascot is not really a real ram running around in a Carolina suit but really “some kid in a ram suit”.  Did anyone EVER really think otherwise with either situation?

Then to suggest that UNC track down all its AfAm degree-holders and have them return to take “real classes” replacing Uncle Julius (and Deborah’s) infamous bogus ones..... to “legitimize their degrees”.  Quick, someone call Monty Python.  We have us a whizbang movie screenplay... at least an SNL skit.

“A real class in AfAmStudies”?  Is that like “a real unicorn” or “a real Sasquatch” or “Joe Biden is really VPOTUS”?

I have this vision of Julius Peppers’ high-rise condo on Chicago’s Lakeshore Drive. An elaborately framed copy of “Pepp’s” UNC diploma hanging beside his 200” mega plasma HDTV and life-size “fatheads” of Tupac and Rhianna.  I can see Pepp tearfully removing the now illegitimate diploma from his wall, and coming to grips with the SACSCC edict that he is not REALLY a college graduate..... then calling his personal assistant to order him “a messa o’ ribs” and a liter of Mountain Dew.

Will this sad scenario be repeated dozens and dozens of times.... ohhhh the tragedy..... oohhh the shame.

This is all quite a mega BFD to the fragile psyche of UNC-CH much-maligned academes.  “Accreditation” is purty near all one has.... when one’s world is a Gilbert & Sullivan operetta founded on pomposity and self-delusion. 

I'm trying to come to grips with Danica Patrick dating a fellow driver.... and these loons are in a snit about "accreditation".  GET REAL PEOPLE!    

SACSCC Poobahess Belle Whelan cites “a breach of academic integrity” and the need to “make the bogus degrees whole”.  Belle then coined a possible bumper sticker for the whole glorious mess – “Integrity – Honesty – Fairness” which lacks the power of Liberte – Equalite – Fraternite or Remember The Alamo..... but it’s a start.

Wonder what Belle thinks about UNC giving Dickie "I didn't know nuthin 'bout nuthin" Baddour a Farewel Fete normally reserved for people who did know sumthin' 'bout sumthin' ??? 

UNC could, conceivably, lose its “accreditation”.   Fear not..... I checked and the SACSCC has zero jurisdictions over “rafters”, domes and/or banners.

While “the kid in the wheelchair”.... and The Real Bob Kennel and the Red Army's Death Penalty Mob all continue to “look for somebody to hug” over this latest chapter of Old Well Woe...... a celebration that is estimated to continue for, give-or-take, a quarter of a century minimum.

My UNC degree was not in AfAmStudies.  I could ceremoniously join with Pepp and Stackhouse and Antawn and others in holding our now bastardized sheepskins and weeping..... IF I knew where the heck it was.  

During a corporate re-locate in my late 20s, I put that darned thing in a cardboard box along with my high school lettermen’s jacket and my Boys State certificate and other atta-boy detritus everyone accumulates trodding Life’s Winding Road.  After my second job interview in the mid 70’s no one ever asked about my college degree.... or my high school lettermen’s jacket.  How about you?

+++++

Meanwhile..... Larry Bird’s son was arrested after he tried to run over his ex-girlfriend in a car.   That resulted in his mug shot being broadcast around the world.  Yep, he’s Larry Bird’s son alright.... and reasons for his girlfriend issues are apparent.

+++++

Jim Delany’s Big 10-12-14 have agreed to no longer schedule small-college cupcakes in football.   No more AppyState visits to the Big House but “that one” was already never gonna happen again.

+++++

Carolina lost to Duke last night but “it was close”.  “Close counts” in (1) horseshoes, (2) hand grenade and atom bomb throwing ..... and (3) “when you feared a blow-out”.   Methinks Roy might be spending some time on “clutch free-throw shooting” in upcoming practices.  Ya think?......  

UNC Baseball starts next week AND.....  UNC Women’s Tennis won the NCAA Indoor Tennis NATIONAL CHAMPIONSHIP earlier this week.  ..... but lets face it, no one is running down Franklin Street “looking for somebody to hug” about that. ...... sigh.

Posted: February 14, 2013 at 10:12 AM by SaidWHATMedia | with 17 comments
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Comments
OldAlphaWolf
Wow, With the headline about Alabama thugeletes I'm surprised that I saw no mention of Frau Yow's proclamation that we wanted Alabama type athletes for the NC State football program. Heck, we were satisfied with ***** Sheridan type athletes. Sadly, that's what we thought we had with Coach O'Brien. Maybe we did but they failed to "coach 'em up" as I've heard them say.

Oh yeah, priceless.. "anything but reparational appeasement to dissuade terminal limo liberal guilt by a confederacy of pseudo-elitist pin-heads."

That's one for the archives.
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BL: I pounded Frau pretty hard on her Maryland student management. Don't wanna be guilty of piling on.
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2/18/2013 11:20:50 AM

Geoff Graham
Another great column, but one clarification - Appalachian State opens its 2014 season in Ann Arbor at the Big House. Seems apparent, though, that the Big Boys are soon to abandon the FCS'rs for good (no surprise there).
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BL: Good info, The report said effective 2015 I think.
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2/16/2013 7:57:08 AM

Johnny Flim Flam
According to their website, the SACSCOC accredits colleges in Alabama, Florida, Georgia, Kentucky, Louisiana, Mississippi, North Carolina, South Carolina, Tennessee, Texas, and Virginia. So Harvard, Princeton, Yale, Columbia, Stanford, Chicago, MIT, Penn., Cal. Tech., and Dartmouth are all trying to survive without their stamp of approval?
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BL: Wonder if there is a "NORTHERN Assoc of ........ " ??
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2/15/2013 12:15:41 PM

JDanWuff
" a confederacy of pseudo-elitist pin-heads"
Another coffee shooter, BL. I wish you would quit beating around the bush and just say how you feel about the limo-libre crowd.
I recall a conversation in which a certain Internet Legend implied, without directly stating, the potential woe that could be with the hiring of a Pale Rider. Oh my, understatement.
But,like other posters, I doubt there will be any recall. My dentist and my grandson's doctors at UNC Childrens Hospital are probably safe in continuing their practices. :)
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BL: I use an old trick of Nostradamus. I conveniently forget my quatrains that turn out to be bogus. :-)

The best part of gigging limo lib academics is they couldn't change even if they wanted to. Gig'em all day and they just pop back up for more.
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2/14/2013 9:57:45 PM

robedixon
Honestly I have a friend who thinks all this "unpleasantness" is making way for the Wulfies to become a "football power". When I tell him that if he thinks every in state university has not checked and double checked already that they do not have some of this same "unpleasantness" in their easy coarse load for their "student athletes" then he must be smoking something. Thus no players who can make a 'football power".
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BL: Does your friend factor in that State beat UNC six times in a row.... and did not "become a football power" by doing so. Ergo, even if UNC got The Death Penalty, his Wuffs would still be who they are.... as UNC will be who they are. .... neither cause the perennial Top Twenty to lose any sleep.
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2/14/2013 5:02:34 PM

NCSU88
It still amazes me that this great unpleasantness started with a simple tweet about cupcakes.
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BL: A butterfly flaps its wings in The Azores.... and a Class Five hurricane hits Key West a week later. :-)

A nail comes out of a horse shoe.... and Robert E Lee loses The Battle of Gettysburg.
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2/14/2013 3:45:18 PM

fayettewuf
First of all, I don't believe that even UNC granted Julius Peppers a diploma unless it was like the one Ernest T. Bass got from Helen Crump.
Second, it is good comedy to assume that the only degrees in question are the AFAM degrees. SACS seems to consider any degree for which the hours for graduation contained credit hours for courses that did not meet, a suspect degree. Seriously doubt, it will ever come to voiding degrees and offering make-up courses. I don't think I have ever heard of a recall of college grads. Of course if they can do it for Toyotas...Even the threat of probation, is enough to cost a university a lot of money (not just federal funds).
I suspect that it will be an uneasy March in Chapel Hill.
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BL: "Uneasy" has become pretty much a permanent condition at UNC for the past two+ years.
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2/14/2013 3:22:15 PM

Chip
By the way the victim of the Alabama thugaletes assault is alleged to have said this doesn't temper his enthusiasm for Alabama football and he was in the wrong place at the wrong time. Holy schnikes!
How about Oskar Pistorious? Thugaletes are on every continent

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BL: A thugalete with titanium wheels !!
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2/14/2013 2:56:38 PM

UncleRon
The appropriate level of response is about middle way between Holden and Bob Kennel it seems to me.
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BL: I love any response that causes the rest of us to say ..... "WOW, that's some response!"
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2/14/2013 2:56:13 PM

Chip
This whole SACSSC thing reminds me of the movie "Team America" when the UN tells Kim Jong Il (I can never keep the three of them straight as they share the same three names, megalomania and similar bad haircuts), "If you don't comply... we'll send you a letter. And if you still don't comply... we'll send you another letter."
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BL: Not to be confused with "then I'll hold my breath til I turn blue...."
2/14/2013 2:52:26 PM

Eric
But, BobLee, accreditation = federal funds, the lifeblood of tenured faculty.

Are you a Gilbert & Sullivan fan? You rise even higher in my estimation, if that is possible!
ET
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BL: Indeed, the similarity of UNC to The HMS Pinafore are numerous, not to mention The Mikado.
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2/14/2013 2:29:42 PM

ink-stained scribe
BL, the Tuscaloosa story serves as the necessary reminder that the SEC is, well, the SEC. How do they measure academic success there: Highest graduation rate or shortest rap sheet?

Meantime, I hear our beloved UNC may need to hire some adjunct profs to teach makeup courses to the AfAm grads. Credentials not necessary. Patience, however, will be.
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BL: I loved Holden's comeback to the "bring'em back" suggestion.... "we have no clue who they are or where they are..."
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2/14/2013 12:49:12 PM

YogiNC
Monty P has left the building, and I doubt SNL could parody this, it's too intellectual. I didn't get the "and reasons for his girlfriend issues are apparent" but then i didn't look up his mug..shot either. Suits is on the horizon, DVR set.
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BL: Larry Bird's son inherited his father's dashing matinee idol looks (??) but not his BkB skills.
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2/14/2013 12:14:25 PM

Cliff
BobLee:
I think I read that the student thugaletes at Alabama were suspended from the team. Is that through Spring practice? I believe that one of them assaulted the victim during the robbery.
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BL: I doubt Saban lets them come back. He is 4-5 deep in blue-chips and doesn't need them.
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2/14/2013 11:54:59 AM

58 Wolf Kennel
Stand firmly by what I said in my comments, not the "quote-unquote" words you added in your response. Issue is not the names of the individual athletes but the higher-ups that set- up or allowed or blinked at the suspect system. Clearly it has to include the AD and may run all the way to the current ACC Commish. Smells more like LOIC, but I recognize the world won't end. May just add to global warming :>))
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BL: Ahhhh.... the inevitable "link to Johnny Swofford" !!! I LOVE IT! Sasquatch LIVES!
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2/14/2013 11:51:39 AM

NCSU68Grad
BL,
Saw the headline yesterday. Two reactions.
First... God is rewarding you for the check you wrote on Sunday or perhaps your continued gifts to the literary world.
Second....SACSCC is an acronym that could have many meanings....the RevBB came to mind.....SAC was originally the Strategic Air Command so my reaction was that it was the President's "Right Wing" elimination Drone squadron.
As to the article, the phrase "voiding" of the degrees is an interesting term. My UNC Grad (whom I love and adore) Urologist tells me to "VOID" when I visit his office (in the form of a small clear jar) and also before certain OTHER acts...since he removed my primary Voiding Valve.
I also checked the gold standard of the Wuffie Wag boards, where you have been quoted and linked and there is NO mention of it. Now THAT is meaningful or maybe not.
My solution is very simple and is very cost effective and is also TOTALLY related to AFAM. Eventually, I assume, every retiree starts to "read". So, I have been doing such. Killing Kennedy is a MUST read for every one that grew up in the 50's, 60's or 70's. Each of the Bogus (Tainted) Degrees would be made whole if the recipient is required to read and write a 20 page (double spaced) thesis on the book with at least 8.9 pages devoted to LBJ and his seduction of the "Negro Tables" in the St. Augustine speech and RFK's use (or maybe being USED) of JEH and his files on MLK. O'Reilley publishes, and documents, what we had all read. There is also some humor about Marilyn Monroe's MALE agent kneeling in front of her naked body trying to pull down a dress over her ample behind that he says is two sizes larger than the dress. The mental image of that cracked me up. The book is also corroberated about JFK's deflowering of a 19 YO virgin in Jackie's bed by the lady, some 50 years later on, GASP, NBC and JFK having her "Take Care" of an aid in the pool (remember Adrian Cronauer's advice in Good Morning Viet Nam to Sgt. Major Dickerson and General Taylor's reaction).
As one who received an "A" in Prof. R B Wynne's Freshman English Lit class, I will assist UNC in evaluating the papers.
BTW, what was the Chinese Googling results this morning for SACSCC UNC?
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BL: "Chinese googling" ??? Is that like Chinese Arithmetic or Chinese Checkers ??
2/14/2013 11:35:20 AM

58 Wolf Kennel
BL, your crisp writing and humor continue unabated but don't let the AP politics creep in too heavily. You may have me pegged correctly in your mind, but this SAC mess does not have me running around looking for someone to hug. My unpublished essay from two years ago is distressingly coming true, but my fear at that time was the BOG taking actions that hurt everyone who loves the UNC System. Now my concern is the BOG itself plus the whole UNC System and even the ACC taking a big hit in re*****tion and possibly penalties. I clearly am an NC State supporter, but I have always appreciated the whole UNC System and the other ACC schools as "special". Not to parrot Babs, but now I even think NC State's recruiting may be impacted negatively.
The sheepskins are another whole dimension that I've told President Ross I don't envy his work in the months ahead. As for the N&O exposures, I note that Jane Stancil is now involved with Dan Kane. Jane is a long qualified UVA graduate reporter on the UNC scene going back almost 20 years who is a pragmatist rather than a sensationalist. Any hugs will be of condolance rather than joy.
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BL: Oh for Heaven's Sakes !!!!

Hand wringing and teeth-gnashing that Marvin, Julius and the rest of The Motley Crew of Crooks & Clowns have "irreparably damaged the ENTIRE system, the ENTIRE state, and multiple generations yet unborn" is pure hyper hyperbolic hokum. I thought "fracking and talk radio" had already done that?

Get a grip RBK and keep one toe in the reality pond.
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2/14/2013 10:58:25 AM

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