The Answer Is - Little Moron, Polak, and PJ

July 30.’13:  If The Answer is – Little Moron, Polak and PJ; then The Question must be Name three common synonyms for Stoopid? 

I admit I do love endlessly meandering sagas of human foolishness – The N&O & Duke Lacrosse, The N&O & John & Rielle, “Marvin tweeted Dickie said Butch said.....”, and “It’s Monday so Bill Barber must....”.   But even I am running out of zingers to describe Young Master PJ.   But, I’m a pro so the show must, and shall, go on......

Q:  What is “Rarer” ......
(1)    A picture of Jennifer Wiley (or Deborah Crowder).... or
(2)    A pic of PJ being pulled over DRIVING HIS OWN CAR?

In just the past 60 days, PJ had been seen driving more different cars than Mark Martin has in a 30+ year NASCAR career.  Hellfire, more than Mark Martin AND the entire Petty Family combined.... and apparently Young PJ drives’em almost as fast too.

Would the “PJ Once Drove My Car” Club be able to hold its annual reunion in Cameron Indoor or would it need the roomier Dean’s Dome? ...... or maybe Kenan?  PJ has driven more different cars than George Washington slept in beds.

Way back on Day One of this abscessed wisdom tooth of a pile o’ crap,  I BobLee, overflowing with the milk of human compassion, suggested we all hold hands, sing Kumbaya and give Young PJ the opportunity to use the Culturally Disadvantaged gambit.  Also known as the “Simply don’t know no better” Defense.   

Pierce and I got into a debate on that.  Could both PJ and Bill Barber be granted immunity based on Zimmerman-mania?  Barber knows he has the local media in his pocket.  Young PJ, alas, forgot about DAN KANE.  Uh Oh!

PJ obliterated that defense somewhere around “stoopid stunt #6 or #7”.   Was that "the Yukon" or "the Camaro" or "the beach beer party"?

Maybe PJ grew up around repeat felons, illegal drugs, 9mms, vehicular malfeasance, and incredibly shady characters wearing twelve pounds of bling.?  Two full years beneath the rafters of Dean’s Dome being lauded and applauded by TarHeelFaithful has simply not transfused a new lifestyle into Young PJ.  

Maybe Young PJ read somewhere that “a prison tatt” will increase his chance to be a Lottery Pick next Spring..... and he’s hellbent on going where he can get one.   The NBA being The NBA, Young PJ might be right about that.

How many of you’ans can recall when Young PJ’s laundry list of “dumb stuff” was only “as long as your arm”.   Now it’s as long as John Henson’s AND Sam Perkins’ combined wingspans..... and growing faster than Pinocchio’s nose.

How long does one have to know Haydn Thomas before one can call him “Fats”?  Or to learn why Haydn is spelled that way?

In those “several conversations” that Roy has had with Young PJ, did Roy ever think to ask “PJ, is there ANY part of ‘doing stoopid crap’ that you need me to further explain”?

If Bubba or Carol “I’m From DARTMOUTH” Folt asked me for my advice, I would:
(1)    Charge’em a lot less than $500,000.... and I’d
(2)    Suggest that they buy a one way bus ticket to “Who Cares Where” and tell Roy “stick this up PJ's butt in the next 10 minutes..... or use it yourself.”  Ouch.

It’s well past time for Roy to pick up his phone and call NC A&T or NCCU or ElizCityState or the Albany Patroons, Barcelona Dragons or the Croatian CreepyCrawlies and tell’em he’s sending’em PJ on the next Greyhound Express.   Confiscate his meal card and whatever Franklin Street Perks 4 Jocks chits he has on’im.

Does ANYONE doubt that - if PJ somehow runs out of the DDome tunnel next season in a UNC uni.... at least seven flaming idiots even dumber than he is will give him a standing O?

Once they became celebrity Bad Boyz, who do ya think accumulated the most “skanky gals with incredibly low self esteem” – Marvin or  Young PJ? ..... or Greg Little?  What ever happened to The Tiki Girls?

Is it true that Mike Nifong and Crystal Mangum have both offered to sponsor Young PJ in their local Dummies Anonymous chapter?   Will “PJ-ing” become a verb as quickly as “Nifong-ing” did?

I guess Young PJ can’t be an “honor student and single mother of two”, can he?   But The N&O might give it a shot. 

And lastly (for now)..... I have NOT cleared the following with my Brickyard Bunch of Lobo, CowDog, Thailand, Pomeranz, TRBK, NCSU68, wolfdon, fayettewuff, OldMcDonald or BOG Guy or Frau BUT.....

I am hereby prepared to elevate Young PJ above and beyond the Legendary Mr Amphibious for his unprecedented serial stoopidity.   “Shack” (and Washburn 475) have been the dubious benchmark for “Not as dumb as ______” for over 25 years.   

I do believe we have us a new poster boy for Triangle Jocks Dumber Than A Box o’ Rocks.

All in favor say “Aye Zigga Zoomba”.

++++


                
Posted: July 29, 2013 at 7:56 PM by SaidWHATMedia | with 13 comments
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Comments
Wuf
Did you inflate Mr. Washburn's score? Seems 475 is a bit north of my recollections, but granted those are getting a bit aged at this point. Perhaps my noggin has fallen victim to the ol' "Urban Legend" effect?

Nice reference with the Tiki's btw. Always fun to bring "them" back for a curtain call now and again.
:D
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BL: The Tikis are eternal!
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8/2/2013 9:40:22 PM

Hokie7T6
Bob the next time you get a slow news day, you can "loan" your p/u to PJ. Then he will be stopped for going to slow on the interstate.
__________

BL: I'm sure the F-150 is not suitable for PJ's level of stylin' and profilin'. He seems to have an endless supply of available "rides". Who knew?
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7/30/2013 3:13:04 PM

fayettewuf
Shack and Washburn would never have been early round picks if we were choosing up a chess team, but the dumbest to this point? With all the candidates available? BTW if 475 is the lowest SAT score for an ACC basketball player, I would be surprised.
Fats should have rented PJ a Smartcar.
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BL: Dumb Jocks and Bond Girls.... everyone is entitled to their favorites. Some always stay true to their partisan bias, others can see a bigger picture.

JPepp surely deserves a seat at that table. TA McLendon ??

I'm nominating PJ for both the timeliness and serial perpetrating of his antics. I assume you do approve of putting PJ at the top?

His amphibiousity aside.
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7/30/2013 1:05:55 PM

Bugsy
This from a very good friend of mine. He attributes all of PJ's recent troubles to the concussion he received in the BC game. He should be given a little slack until the concussion effects wear off.
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BL: Yeah, lets go with that ! Our back-up plan is Blame George Zimmerman & Bush/Cheney. :-)
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7/30/2013 10:02:06 AM

DrJay
Somehow the comment of the Kingfish (or was it Andy) from my all-time favorite TV show seems appropriate about all this stuff:
"I'se regusted"
_________

BL: That mighta been Algonquin J. Calhoun.... or Fred Sanford.
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7/30/2013 9:17:01 AM

cooldela
I blame it all on the budget cuts to the UNC system. PJ's troubles are directly the blame of the Republicans. For example, cutting out those no-shows classes is a terrible idea. The no-show college classes prove that going 93 in a 65 is not much of a crime. Take 9+3 and you get 12. Then take 6+5 and you get around 11. Subtract 12 from 11 and PJ was only going over 1 mph over the speed limit. A white person would not have been stopped, even by a black state trooper!

If the UNC budget is increased by the Republicans then these problems will go away and we will be winning more national championships at UNC.

Blame it on McCrory and the Republicans. They don't have no education themselves and do not understand the true meaning of Blue Heaven. They probably think Heaven is up yonder but it ain't.

Free PJ. The team needs him.
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BL: Ya think Barber might loan PJ a few dozen of his "old Carrboro hippies" to protest out front of the Chapel Hill Post Office on his behalf?
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7/30/2013 7:09:17 AM

NCSU68Grad
Well, Bobby, I was waiting for your comments on PJ. I was watching WRAL's 11:00 news and they screamed....BREAKING NEWS....
Cue Mandy, who was running to get on her little stool and certain parts were still demonstrating Newton's laws....WOW.
Anyway, Mandy breathlessly (how could she be breathless with a set of lungs like that?...but I digress....it is YOUR fault) was telling us about PJ's little encounter. SO, I offer the following observations....
First....WHO snitched to USAToday Sports? Did PJ text or call. At least he had the common sense to NOT tweet.
Second....When did Ole' Huckaberry Roy find out? Has he made a donation to the NCSHP Benevolent Fund and Party Cash? How did ROY find out?
Third....The MEDIA, being so investigatory immediately called JEFF GORDON (no, not #24...he was racin' at the Brickyard), but 1st Sgt. Jeff....the PI officer (actually the PI non-com). Jeff confirmed a LOT....
NOW....comment on that...did the officer what done wrote up PJ call in and say.....Holy Feces....I have JUST written a ticket for the DUMBEST and Sorriest (OK...I could not resist) UNC BB Player or the Tweetin' Marvin of the BB team? Don't know...but I would LIKE TO KNOW.
Fourth....There are plenty of rumor afoot (both on the light blue and the red Monkey boards) that Ole' Roy was trying to figure out HOW to rid his stable of that surly and inconsiderate and ungrateful (continue if you like with the UN's and IN's) wretch....then PJ, in his wisdom, done done Ole' Huck a favor.
Will PJ return to glory dressed in Light Blue or will he come to the DD dressed in a colorful outfit and sit in the stands and be the focus of 10,000 crowd shots at a UNC BB game?

I do NOT know. What I do know is that Chancellor Folt need to offer Roy either a Sword or tell him to get his act together. Where has Ole' Roy been? Don't he know that his lads been sportin' around in cool rides? Does that not fall under his prevue of Institutional Control.
LATE BREAKING HEADLINE.....This morning, the Rev BB threatened to SIT on Jim Goodmon for NOT running the 15 minute InfoMercial that they had planned last night.

I really want to see Rev BB protest at the Old Well or Silent Sam or the Rat...or wherever. I want him to REPRESENT the relatives of the Sweet Carolines who want Reprartion for their sexual servitude in the 80's.
BTW....I am STILL laughing at AP's "Joan Baez" would look like the Grannies being arrested.....THANK GOD THEY ARE NOW WEARING BRA's.....Furniture Disease MUST be STOPPED. A Bra is the ONLY CURE....

GOOD WORK.....

Word on the STREET is that something even more sinister is about to surface about the UNC BB lads....Got any ideas? The possibilities are ENDLESS...and HILARIOIUS...
____________


BL" "More to come ??" Whatchu mean Willis?

I recall being told by UNC officials after "all those parking tickets two years ago" THAT was IT.
Now you tell me there's STILL MORE ???

When archeologists began digging up the City of Troy they found 7 layers of civilizations. I'd say we might be on Layer 4 or 5 of this dig.

Me... I just watch, shake my head, giggle and type another zinger.... and wonder if Dickie ever hung up all those plaques he got at his Farewell-Fest.

And Pierce says "it was Janice Joplin, not Joan Baez". :-)
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7/29/2013 10:20:33 PM

st augie doggie
in pj's defense, it's pretty easy to hit the accelerator when you're getting the tami hansbrough treatment cruising down the road
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BL: Huh? I'm not up-to-speed on the latest board monkey lingo.
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7/29/2013 10:09:56 PM

Dave
your Tiki Girl picture doesn't "jiggle" like the original one did. How come?
____________


BL: Grab your iPad with both hands and shake it. Same effect.... almost.

Its been about 10-12 years since the Tikis were in their prime. They likely don't jiggle quite the same these days either.
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7/29/2013 9:37:22 PM

TheCowdog
LOL, BL. For stupidity exhibited within the timelines, and State of NC, you're clear on my end.

Just don't forget that Bubba could have given the ol' indefinite suspension tool 3 weeks or so ago, as suggested by CNR and myself.

With the NCAA looming, they had to do it anyway once the semester started.

Somebody rent that kid a bike.
________

BL: "Thai" is enroute back to Bangkok. May have to wait for his approval.

I hold to my original position on the suspension announcement timing. Bubba likely sensed that PJ wasn't finished pissing in every single punchbowl he could find.

7-10 days wasn't going to matter so long as the hammer eventually falls.... which HOPEFULLY it will permanently do now.
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7/29/2013 9:11:08 PM

Pack78
BL:Re the "Not as dumb as..." listing should surely include more than just Wuffie athletes... maybe Julie Peppers the Mensa candidate and was it Will Graves that FAILED an AFAM course? Plenty of rocks around for glass house smashing! On the PJ subject, do you think that Roy (with or without 'assistance') already had him 90% out the door and PJ just no longer cared to even pretend to toe the line (or is he really that dense)?
________


BL: It was Pepp that failed Drama but got a re-do.... and upped it to a D-. Pepp makes any Top Five list.

Graves was just a repeat pothead. More than a few Wuffs fall in that category.

"PJ crap" is popping so fast its hard to create any sort of timeline. And NO ONE ever knows what Roy is thinking. Not even Roy.
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7/29/2013 8:53:25 PM

Flair1
Have you heard of UNC affiliated dentists funneling money to Fats to distribute to UNC athletes? Any comment?
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BL: Is that the one where Tami was acting as the go-between carrying the bearer bonds in her fanny pack?

My dentist went to Princeton and treats me and the Hurricanes. He don't know Fats.

I'll believe pretty much anything if it is outrageous enuff.
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7/29/2013 8:38:45 PM

JohnInLittleWashington
THE TIKI GIRLS !!! OMG, what did ever happen to them..... and what about Amy The BuzzBabe?
__________


BL: The Tikis were pure skank on a soda cracker. Ask Rashad McCants.

"Amy The Buzz Babe" was An Angel Amongst Us. Hubba Hubba!
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7/29/2013 8:28:59 PM

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