The Twelve Labours of..... an Internet Legend


March 26,’14:  There aren’t Twelve.  Only Two so far.  Neither of the two labors involve multi-headed demon-dogs or really messy stables or a Hesperian Apple, but they are laborious in terms of time-consuming.

Oh, I found the original first draft of Carolina Married A Stripper!

Labor #1:  Taking a stack of photo albums almost five feet high and scanning and reducing all the photos to a thumb drive.   (Thumb drive.... Huh?  Look it up, Albert. Just keep reading.)

Labor #2:  Go thru all 1650+ incredibly insightful BobLeeSays columns and put them in some retrievable order for posterity.  So far I have well over 50 that prominently feature either “Call me Dickie” or Mikey Nifong.   Those figures are expected to grow as I get into the next 500 or so.  The “After Marvin hit SEND” Era will be heavy “Dickie-centric”.  The Nifong Era ended about six years ago followed closely by Rielle-omania.   Like buses, there’s always-another celebrity nincompoop coming along.

Pierce just learned that Nincompoop is a very magnetic keyword to put in a column title.   ☺

Labor #3:  Once #1 and #2 are completed, we will be de-junkifying our attic.   You may recall: The single greatest legacy one can leave one’s children is - An Empty Attic.

We are 85% thru a full-scale declutterization of BobLee&Blondie World HQ.  We’re already thru the Haven’t worn it in a year – pitch it and So tell me again why we are saving this stages.   It is very cathartic (“Cathartic” ?.... google it Albert. “Google it” ?  Geeezz Albert!).

There is an old joke about:  “A guy shows up at the East German (I said it was “old”) border each morning pushing a wheelbarrow.  The border guards check the wheelbarrow for any contraband the guy might be trying to smuggle out.   Find nothing, let him pass.  The guy does this every day for a month.   After 30 days the guy has smuggled out.... 30 wheelbarrows!”   I love that story.

Sorta related..... if you get rid of enough objects d’art, bric-a-brac and “junk you won at The Fair” you don’t need as many shelves and/or plastic storage tubs.  Using large storage tubs to store smaller storage tubs (like those little Russian wooden dolls) is not the sign of a functioning brain.  

Aside.... my dearly departed 92 y/o mom left 238 empty Cool Whip tubs in her pantry.... and A LOT of used aluminum foil.  Why she didn’t store the aluminum foil inside the Cool Whip tubs is a question I meant to ask her, but never did.  Plus, I don’t recall us ever having Cool Whip on anything ??

The photo albums were in the afore-mentioned storage tubs.  Kid was born in 1988 so her millions o’pictures early years were pre-cellphone camera era.   We must have built dozens of Walgreen Pharmacies with our photo-developing dollars.   But Kid was THE cutest little kid that ever (1) played with Cheerios in her high chair or (2) let Mom dress her up in mom-made Halloween costumes.  Don’t regret a single one of those pics but there sure are A LOT of them.  Kid Year Two had its own album.

Pulling pages from albums and laying’em on the scanner is hardly a complicated task if you can avoid snapping the notebook rings on your hand.  That hurts.

I started out labling each individual picture file.   That lasted thru over 200, which I was pretty proud of.  Then I decided Kid will need something to do in 2032 on acid rainy days so the rest are just “image3589” and so on.

Kidding aside..... the labor of converting umpteen photos to digital images is really a cool time as you relive the experiences captured in the photos.  As noted, the fact that Kid was one of THE Top Five Cutest Kids in All of Recorded History made it especially enjoyable.  Those of you with the other four understand, I’m sure.

I have a 26” stack of photo albums yet to scan.   I’ll be done before they find that stoopid airplane.  Am I the only one wondering if the pilot was Amelia Earhart’s grandson.... or Bo Rein’s kid.

Labor #2:  Chronicling all the 1,650+ BLSays columns is equally a pleasurable trip down Memory Lane.   Damn, I wrote some AWESOME stuff in those first 4-5 years.   The column titles alone were legendary.  I still give “good title”; but 2001 was an especially good year for colorful column titles.

I’m pulling the Especially Incredibly Insightful ones and putting them in a special folder entitled Especially Incredibly Insightful Columns or EIIC for short.

What prompted this Labor was the BIG 50th Reunion last weekend.   Dear Friend Ed introduced me by referencing several especially good’uns that I had forgotten.   

Oh, oh, oh.... all of you in North Carolina have seen those Whitley Law Firm infomercials at 3 AM, right?  Bob and the Missus were at The Reunion and are the newest BobLeeBuddies.  Negotiations are already underway for WLF to be The Official Trial Lawyers for BLSays.  "Personal Injury" IS always a possibility in my line of work fer sure.  AND we added a hospital administrator / corporate jet mechanic duo from W-Salem.  Cool, huh?

A little Internet Legend insight.   Once I post a column and we do the Reader Comment dance for 3-4 days, I completely forget it.   It’s in the archives and in back-up Word files but I clear it out of my conscious thought.  The cook at Waffle House scraping the old gunk off the grill before he breaks more eggs on it.   Sorta like that.

Several weeks after a column, I might run into a reader who references it.  “I loved that column you wrote about _______.”  “Thank you. What did I say about ______?”  Like an artist who sells his paintings.  Once posted, they belong to you.

Great Life Hint #64:  When someone pays you a compliment, just smile and say Thank You.  That whole false humility yadda yadda spoils the moment.  Smile politely – say Thank You – PERIOD.

My current exercise has reminded me of one truism I’ve always known.   Random columns are MUCH more fun that endless columns on never-ending crapola that goes on and on and on.   

Twenty-eight columns on Duke Lacrosse, fifteen on Queen Mary Easley & Howdy Doody McQueen and now a bazillion-plus-a million-and counting on The Great Unpleasantness.  AAARRGGGHH!

Yes, these high profile trainwrecks have to be discussed so I discuss them.  Buried among the umpteen on a single issue are some real treasures for sure..... but how many ways can one say “Carolina Way bwahahahaha”.  “Dickie was a Nitwit etc etc” always sells out in West Raleigh and other ABC high-traffic areas but.....

The Great Unpleasantness is like a quicksand bog.  There is no bottom to it!   Everything just keeps sinking deeper and deeper.   Institutional Suicide By a 1,000 Really Stoopid Decisions.  Drip drip drip ..... glub glub glub.

Tear down the rafters..... Implode Dean’s Dome..... Salt Kenan’s greensward..... Force poor ol’ Dean to take the perp walk dragging Roy on a leash.   WHATEVER!

At some point PLEASE tar & feather Dickie and hang him upside down by his little feet from the Bell Tower.   Then we can all go exploring for fresh human foolishness to poke with our stick.

Oh.  I found the original first draft of Carolina Married A Stripper aka: the Casablanca and Gone With The Wind of BobLeeSays columns; at least of the New Millenium.  Going thru all 1650+ is going to take awhile.  A pleasant “while”.  I hope the archivists at the Internet Provocateur Hall of Fame appreciate how easy I’m making their future job.

I think I’ll turn on the NCAA Women’s Tournament and see how quick that can put me to sleep.  5-4-3-..... zzzzzzzzzz.

♦ ♦ ♦
 
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Posted: March 26, 2014 at 8:55 AM by SaidWHATMedia | with 12 comments
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Comments
Tarheel7472
BL, Got another image for you which always comes to mind when you mention Prince Tassel Loafer. My brother-in-law, who was a Sigma Nu in the mid-60’s, says his only memory of brother Dickie is seeing him down in basement of the ΣΝ house trying to learn to shag by dancing with a door. Something doesn’t seem quite right about that……but guess there are a lot of things that aren’t quite right with DB!
__________


BL: I can see him doing that. And much more silly stuff.
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3/26/2014 7:20:19 PM

NCSU68Grad
No offense to my WP Cheering Buddy Kennel, but if you do a Wiki and other internet research, even the LIBS' have a tough time defaming the Koch brothers. They have to resort to some out and out fibs....which I am SURE that Laura and Binky will debunk. One brother has done more for Cancer Research (memory) than probably all the Jimmy V, Kay Yow, Sylvia Hatchell and the REST of the NCAA coaches by orders of Magnitude.

That F&I line was cool.

I can JOIN you in the TO DO List....but I got some "I Doned its".

First...I have about 10K (that's 10,000) 35 MM slides to SCAN and Sort and Color/Exposure correct...YEAH.....but I did buy a HIGH res scanner.

Second...I have become an iPod Music Power User. I have about 200 CD's now in my iTunes Music Library. I have a Play List for each one. I have custom Play Lists for my BW. You would be surprised how many of them have "Hungry Like a Wolf". Really lots of good stuff....I suspect you and Blondie would also dig it.

BUT, the crown jewel of this endeavor was finding an APP that copies the music and playlists from iTunes to an SD card. She now has 2600 Plus tunes on a 16 gB card plugged into her RED ATS Caddy CUE system. She can drive from here to LA, back again and to LA again and then back home and get to Nashville WITHOUT listening to the same song.....at the legal limit.
THEN, I ordered an iPod dock for the MH and also for the Home Yamaha Receiver. She can NOW play her "Mixes" of Folk, 60's Rock, 70's Rock, Cool Country, etc. in the Shuffle mode....most are 2 - 3 hour duration....

Listening to Led Zeplin's Caddy commercial music now.

You need to add "Sort out the UNC Stuff" to your list...

With NO disrespect to the relatives of the folks lost on the Malaysian 370, I think that there is a better chance of seeing their relatives in the Indian Ocean SAFE in life rafts than EVER seeing the NCAA in UNC land or having any Titles or Championship's vacated.

NOT some Wolfkie MB prattle....just reality.

Old Johnny done gone under the covers with the Russian Business man that owns 45% of the Barclay Center and is MOVING his US companies BACK to the USSR to provide economic stimulus for the Sanctions that Der Leader done imposed....

Finally...did you read Harry Reid's remarks that the REPUBLICANS disrespecting Obummer is what empowered Putin? When asked why Bush was never challenged by Putin when the Dems dissed W and W's poll numbers were lower than the ACA enrollment....Reid said...."That's not relative...."

Keep on doing it.....and I AM pulling for the ladies in Light Blue to go far in the Tourney....
____________

BL: Little Johnny cutting a deal with Vlad's guy? Oh My!

WolfKenn is nothing if not pentacostically partisan to his sports & political choices. Gotta give him credit for his passion.
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3/26/2014 3:32:10 PM

Yogi
Bobby, I think UncleFred was pulling your chain to the tune of that John feller who tried to run for prez. Great column as I was contemplating doing the same sort of stuff. The plot is getting thicker each time around on the Blacklist!!! That bunch has some great writers.
____________


BL: No siree. Johnny announced a month or so ago that he was opening up a new lawyering office and forsaking the politicing biz, at least til everybody fergits "you know what".

Apparently the taxes have come due on "the compound / estate" outside Carrboro.
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3/26/2014 1:46:01 PM

"Kid"
JUST TOP FIVE !!! But but you and mom and Grandmama always told me I was THE Cutest Kid Ever. I have it in writing on a 4th Birthday card.

I demand a recount.
__________


BL: Chill Kid. That Top Five mess was just telling these lemming what they want to hear. You're #1 and always will be. :-)

Grandmama also told you "got your nose". Did you believe THAT too?
.
3/26/2014 12:28:36 PM

PrinceAlbert
OK, no clue about thumb drives. I did look up "cathartic" = state of catharsis ??

BUT.... who is this "Dickie" person you keep referring to?
________


BL: It ain't Dickie Grubar. Ask Kennel. He'll be glad to discuss it with you. :-)
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3/26/2014 11:50:22 AM

RH
Going through a purge at the house right now......busted pipe repairs....and discovered a new category for my pack rat wife.

Most things she pack-rats I get.....often understandable emotional attachments. But one I discovered really blows my mind, especially since she isn't a child of the depression.

Those glass vases you get with cheap flower arrangements....50+ of 'em. Mostly the ones with the ripple around the lip.
___________

BL: Pretty sure there is a website for that addiction. Check WebMed.com
A telethon is in development. :-)
.
3/26/2014 11:24:29 AM

BigBobby
Re: that lost plane.... UNC vs Malaysia in a show down for Leadership 101.
___________


BL: Yeah. Heard a rumor that Malaysia has called UNC's South Bldg for crisis management advice. OUCH!
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3/26/2014 11:10:00 AM

DaveInApex
As Daddy of one of those four other Cutest Kids Ever, I totally understand the pleasant memories perusing old pics.
___________


BL: Yep. :-)
3/26/2014 10:52:53 AM

UncleFred
BL, you might want to put that Official Trial Law Firm deal out for bids. I heard a certain notorious scallywag is back in the Trial Law biz.
__________


BL: NO WAY! I've know The Whitley Family for 60 years. Bob was a helluva ping pong player "back in the day".... and brothers Jack & Charles were mighty fine softball players.
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3/26/2014 10:44:18 AM

BR
The image of a tarred & feathered Dickie hanging by his little feet from the Bell Tower ...... I need a stiff drink. That image is burned in my brain.
________


BL: And have Charming Little Carol (From Dartmouth) flailing away at him with a broom handle like a pinata !!
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3/26/2014 10:38:00 AM

Frank Linstreet
The ORIGINAL first draft of Married A Stripper !!!!!

Damn BL, sell that sucka on ebay and you could hire a 1,000 elves to do your scanning and attic clean-up.
___________


BL: Just what we need - 1,000 freakin' elves underfoot.
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3/26/2014 10:34:04 AM

58 Wolf Kennel
Great introspection, BL. Since I only came across your "presence" several years ago, I obviously haven't seen your early years or great photographs. As you know, I value all your BL comments (and not because of the great unpleasantness) and very few of your AP comments (too many good friends skewered unfairly).
Would love to read a book on the BL columns. As for an AP book, you have built in money from the Koch brothers :>))
In any case, I love the introspection and the attic cleanup. Gives me incentive to do my own.
God Bless.
____________

BL: Well By Golly. I certainly thank you.

AP: I thank you too Kennel. Knowing I stick in your craw is an on-going motivator. ... Give Rev Bully my regards.

Betcha didn't know The Koch Bros nicknames are "Fire & Ice"? .... LOLOLOL! :-)
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3/26/2014 10:18:54 AM

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