This is not a sequel to that movie about chick baseball. Nor is it the umpteenth rehash of that well-beaten dead horse of A Southern Ivies sports conference. It is a October 2013 objective perspective of the future of ACC Football; especially for “the comparables”.
There are people walking this planet who absolutely believe (1) We faked the moon landing..... (2) Pro wrestling is real..... (3) The earth is flat..... (4) Man will never fly..... (5) Lee Harvey Oswald was The Anti Christ..... and (6) Carolina / State / UVa blah blah is “a sleeping giant” destined to awaken one day and claim its rightful place among The Elite of Big Time College Football......
I like to sit in a mall food court around noon on Tuesdays and pick out “those people” who sincerely believe one/some/all of the above. If they have small children with them, I mutter a silent prayer for those children’s well-being.
The thought that any of “those people” vote in local, state or national elections is chilling, but tends to explain certain imponderables..... including the eternally-baffling popularity of Oprah and Jerry Springer.
Why not #6 above?
After all we once had “Choo Choo” or “a Roman and a Russell” and now we have A Blue Zone and a Vaughn Tower. What more do we possibly need to be “an elite program”?
I watched 6-8 different college football games this past Saturday. I began with UNC v VaTech and finished with Stanford v UDub around midnight.
My greatest personal interest, of course, was goings-on in Blacksburg and Winston-Salem. #3 for our household was in Nashville as Mizzou is my #2 Alma Mater. Evanston, Illinois and Waco, Texas were also sites of significance.
Mizzou is now 5-0 with an outside chance of finishing 5-7 as it now enters the SEC meat-grinder.
I entertained thoughts that Baylor would score 100 and that “America’s Favorite Coach” Pat Fitzgerald would lead his “probably actually student-athletes” of Northwestern in a rousing upset of smug Urban Meyer’s Buckeye Juggernaut. Baylor only scored 73 and Urban’s Juggernaut eventually wore-down the spunky Wildcats..... sigh, sob, sniff.
Amid all the color & pageantry of the day (and night) I am certain that at least 658 people watching the Wolfpack vs Deacons made the trite comparison of Deacon receiver Michael Campanero to Denver Bronco Wes Welker. Why?
Because EVERY Caucasian slot receiver currently playing football anywhere on Earth is ALWAYS compared to Wes Welker because both are Caucasian. American sports fans are nothing if not predictably trite especially on matters of race.
The more apt comparison, of course, is Campanero to fellow outstanding Deacon Caucasian receiver Ricky Proehl.
Hindsight suggestion to Coach Dave:
Since double-teaming Campanero/Welker didn't work, did you ever consider "knee-capping" him with a sledge hammer?
Carolina, in the throes of an acute roster-talent shortage, lost as most fans not named Chansky fully expected; but not in “a rout” by any means. Maybe “not a rout” was due to the Hokies being offensively challenged this season.
Sports fans do love to play A > B, but B < C and C > D which almost beat A; therefore if frogs had wings my aunt would be your uncle....... so:
Just for fun...... track UNC, VaTech, ECU, GaTech, and Middle Tennessee results and common opponents so far this young season. Then grab the Advil.
In the weeks to come, add NCState, Wake Forest, UVa, Duke, Syracuse, Maryland and Boston College to that Gordian Knot of “on any given Saturday” outcomes. Parity in The Johnny Swofford ACC 2013 below the top three juggernauts of Miami, FlaState, and Clemson is going to astound you.
I refer to that muddle in the ACC middle of UNC, NCS, Duke, UVa, Wake, BC, Syracuse, and Maryland (temporarily) as The League of Their Own.
Include Pitt and GaTech in there if you’d like. I see VaTech entering an Era of 6-8 W Mediocrity too.
And THAT boys and girls is why God invented dopey bowl games in Shreveport and other "you can't get there from here" garden spots.
Check back with me 2-5-7 years from now and it’ll still be about the same. Coaches will get canned...... new coaches all fulla piss & vinegar will come in..... the football gods will smile on Team A one day and Team B the next..... that elusive oblate spheroid will bounce this way and that as it is prone to do..... each school’s rabid lunatic fringe will blame John Swofford and or “the refs”..... and there will be aplenty of exciting Saturdays as these comparable institutions battle each other.
......well beyond the caring eyes of The National Playoff Committee. Condi, Archie and the rest of the selection committee will not, I predict, be visiting Kenan.... or Carter-Finley, or Wally, or BB&T, or Scott ......
Watching Saturday’s Battle at The BB&T without an alma maternal dog in the fight, it was quite an entertaining few hours. My self-worth as a human being was not, thankfully, in the balance. Judging from comments on WRAL.com, such cannot be said for everyone who was watching. Ouch! Disemboweling Dave Doeren after two losses seems a bit excessive.
I’m quite OK with this polite arrangement among “comparables” and anticipate many a fun Saturday watching them all play one another. I appreciate that “many of you” will not be OK with this situation.
Maybe “many of you” are correct. Maybe they did “fake the moon landing”.
If you missed our Good Sports interview with Kristen “Balbiz” Balboni
you sure missed a “good’un”.
To the mystery of "who da heck is footing Jennifer's legal bills"
; we have conclusively eliminated TheRealBobKennel, Thailand, CowDog and Mama Dip. Forensic accountants are pouring thru cancelled checks of Neil Fingleton, Mary Easley and Bevie Perdue's manicurist Hanoi Selena.
OH!!!.... did ya hear that "the UNC Faculty" is proposing that The Flagship UNILATERALLY declare Freshmen Ineligibility
. "Unilaterally", for those of you who mob-up for Bill Barber, means "even if no other school does it"
. Yee haaa.... Roy now has "little faculty faces" painted on all his golf balls.
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