The Suite Life and.....


Oct 23,’13:  Last Saturday I completed my BobLee Does “The VIP Enclaves” tour of regional stadiums and I have my report to submit.... including a grim reality re: Kenan's Infamous The Blue Zone. ..... and what do Philip Rivers and Adrian Peterson have in common? ......

The term “fat cats” is a universally accepted term of derision used in the rock’em sock’em cyber world where snot-noses and 45 y/o little league right-fielders play with each other 24/7 while avoiding meaningful contribution to society.  I’ll use it for simplicity sake.  

Snot-noses and 45 y/o little league right-fielders make up the overwhelming majority of..... taa daa..... “board monkeys”.   I have encountered a few “fat cat board monkeys” but they are a rare breed.   There are only 24 hrs in a day so one must decide to “achieve” or “be a board monkey”..... it’s an either/or.

“Fat cats” are that portion of a college’s sports fan base that finance Big Time Sports making it possible for the snot-noses to have something to grasp for their vicarious illusion of "success at something”.   A “fat cat” is anyone who appears to have some element of “success” that a snot-nose does not.   I will venture to say that every regular reader of this website is “a fat cat” to a portion of your fan base of choice.  Relax, you are in the company of a lot of very fine folks. 

Last Saturday was our annual pilgrimage to the 5th Fl of Deacon Towers @ BB&T Field..... where the mysterious Moricles dwell.   This ranks in Blondie and my Top Five annual “things we do” along with Christmas, Thanksgiving @ The Angus Barn, and our two Retreats To Da Beach.   Grobe’s Deacs have NEVER lost when we were in attendance so; our arrival always receives a warm welcome by Deacon hierarchy.

Our mission to meet ALL the nice people on Earth is never-ending but “our Wake Forest friends” set the hospitality bar mighty high for the rest of civilization to measure up to.  This year there was an even more specialier treat awaiting us:  a Duke eye-surgeon and charming Mrs. from freakin’ Ohio.  HOLY SMOKES!  Let the snot noses play with THAT stereotype.   Yes..... they continue my very long list of very nice Duke people I know who are (1) not Jewish and (2) not from New Jersey.

So we nibbled caviar, sipped Dom P and watched the Deacs dismantle the Terps in the sumptuous luxury of “a fat cat aviary”.   Yes.... as with Vaughn Towers, Deacon Towers also has a special hologram in its windows that projects “that yellow first-down line” on the field far below.   The Blue Zone needs to get that.

So having visited all three regional VIP enclaves this season (Blue Zone – Vaughn & Deacon Towers) I made a startling revelation.  (1) Being an Internet smart aleck has its perks..... (2) Fans “who have something to live for” and a sense of perspective are all pretty much alike..... and (3) The Blue Zone will ALWAYS be a target for cheapshots by rival snot-nose mobs because.....

With Vaughn & Deacon Towers (and Duke’s mini-version) the outdoor visible seating is really not visible within the stadium or by TV’s all-seeing eye.   Every VIP area has outdoor seating for those who prefer that ambiance but when the VIP area is along the sidelines, those areas are obscured under upper decks, press boxes, etc.  The untermensch mob has no idea whats going on “there”.

With sweltering September games or in cold, rainy games, normal functioning humans retreat to the most comfortable areas available to them.   “Suite people” have those options.... not only “climate-controlled” but endless buffetts that put Golden Corrall to shame and beaucoups of HD flat-screens.... and clean restrooms without long lines.... and WITH paper towels after the first quarter.

Except with The Blue Zone.  There the outdoor seating is not only visible.... it sticks out like Quasimodo’s hump.  Hump?  What hump?  The ticket-holders of those glaringly empty seats are in-stadium but hidden from the beady-eyes of the untermensch by reflective glass.  The same reflective glass used at Carter & BB&T.   And the empty blue seats make perfect board monkey fodder..... it will forever and always be so.   

Rival snot-noses are like snapping turtles.  Once they bite down, they never let go...... think “amphibious” and “Washburn’s SAT” as long-standing examples of this phenomenon.   The empty seats in TBZ will always draw snot from rival snot-noses.  A high % of those visible seats will usually be empty with the ticketed occupants “behind the glass”.

The East End Zone was the only logically illogical place to put The Blue Zone.  Blow up Morris Mason’s Alamo and drag Ye Olde Kenan into the modern era of VIP amenities for them what opts to shell out for’em.   Selling “the end zone viewing perspective” was a fascinating exercise in “PT Barnum marketing”.   In truth, the promise of “clean restrooms with a never-ending supply of paper towels” probably sold more Blue Zone seats than “forget the 50..... the end zone is where real fans want to be!”

The Blue Zone is a very very fine amenity.  It is a bit more spacious than either Vaughn or Deacon Tower.... because it is the newest and benefitted from the other two designs.   The BZ staff is incredibly nice and welcoming..... as are the staffs at Vaughn & Deacon.   

If you ever finagle an invite to any of these areas, take it.   Maybe you will see me there.   If so.... come up, say hi, and tell me “I love your columns even though I don’t always agree with you.”   I get that a lot.  I don’t mind at all.

NOTE:  That part up above about “caviar and Dom P” is bogus..... but the “yellow line hologram” IS true.   Really.... ☺

+++++

Q:  So what do Philip Rivers and Adrian Peterson have in common?

A:  Both NFLers have fathered at least SIX children.   Philip’s have all been duly recorded and in conjugal partnership with his high school sweetheart / one wife.   To whom he was married to for over a year prior to the birth of child #1.   Gee PR, how old-fashioned.   

Adrian’s count is “at least six, possibly seven” and with six possibly seven assorted cocktail waitresses and groupies in what is described as “sexual encounters of brief duration”.   The 2 y/o recently killed by the “angry boyfriend” of one of the briefly-encountered waitresses was only linked to Adrian four months prior to the child’s brutal murder.  Peterson never saw the child until the child was dying...... The entire NFL community stopped Pink Month long enough to give Peterson a big ol’ collective compassionate hug for his loss.

In case you are wondering, there are AT LEAST five other current / former NFLers and NBAers with a longer indiscriminate sperm trail than Adrian Peterson.  Apparently one does not even make the baby-daddy radar until one has at least five.  

What an unfortunate mis-use of the term “daddy”.

+++++

Rough weekend to be a Muschamp or a Dabo, huh?   Bring Back Danny Ford signs up again in The Upstate.

Good Weekend AGAIN for Show-Me Staters !!  Mizzou Tigers DOMINATE the vaunted SEC at least for now.   Cardinals Are The Cardinals.... and The KC Chiefs DOMINATE The NFL at least for now ..... Holy Hank Stram, Batman!

+++++

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Posted: October 23, 2013 at 11:39 AM by SaidWHATMedia | with 16 comments
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Comments
oldwuf vet
I've become more of a HDTV college FB fan. During my last 2 trips to the Carter I had to put up with foul-mouthed drunk twenty-somethings in the row behind me and the kids; and a near drunk fight a couple of rows over- that resulted in a few fan ejections. Seems as a young college student I remember groups of friends and family with deep attachments to the university gathering for more civilized tailgating. I guess I just don't drink heavily enough. If I have a free Saturday with good weather I would rather spend it on the farm, DVR the game and carry Missus and whichever kid and/or friend is home out for dinner. We'll make the trip to Kid 2's chosen University for a couple of FB games; otherwise I'll see them on the HDTV. Seems like attending baseball games suits me more. Even the drunks are more civilized.
I hope it isn't too late for Phillip to play in a Super Bowl.
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BL: I cannot abide drunks at ballgames.
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10/28/2013 12:23:19 AM

58 Wolf Kennel
Rivers is a class act as well as an outstanding QB. Looked at records last weekend of the three starting NC State NFL quarterbacks and they were a combined 66 for 99 with 6 touchdowns and 0 interceptions. Now if we could only get Glennon some wins (not against the Panthers, however).
Also, as you know, I prefer the "stands" among other fans than the "skyboxes" and food and generally un-knowledgeable money folks.
__________

BL: Rivers certainly is.... and I don't see Russell spreading his seed hither and yon either.

Other than "THE Terry Harvey", I recall the typical knee-jerking fan reactions in your section of "the stands". Such broadbrushing of "the suite fans" is a form of "class warfare" that does not become you BK. Quite board-monkey-ish in fact. :-(
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10/25/2013 8:36:33 AM

cooldela
Rivers is giving "baby-daddies" a bad name!
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BL: In the eyes of a certain faction of our society, he is. But not in my eyes.
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10/25/2013 6:52:39 AM

NCSU68Grad
Interesting comments, BL. Not exactly certain that I picked up the Segway between the suites and Philip.....but after watching Jay Carney described how wonderful ACA and the Website is, I should NOT complain.

You KNOW things are bad when Ms. Kay Hagan is "denouncing" the website and campaigning (as well as for her "seat") for an extension. Funny, how only the "Up For Election" Members of the Donkey Clan are calling for it....and when the Elephants a few weeks ago wanted to delay, the Senate Majority, in MASS defeated it. I guess that Ms. Hagan has "seen the light".

As to Philip, I remember when he was playing and he started his family his junior year. My wife commented that he must have a high "T" level and that his parents recognized that having a soulmate (as well as a mate for other reasons) might be the BEST choice for him.

As one that had certain issues keeping focused on my studies and certain primal instincts seemingly distracting me, I found it MUCH easier to learn AFTER I was a happily married student.

So, Philip of the "never give up" species is working on his own "team". He only needs 2 more for a starting line-up.

As others have pointed out, he is a class act....as well as RW and now, probably MG. MG's record might not be that great, but his stats are really good.

So, Philip has another "in the oven", but he supports them and he and his foundation also supports children.

Waiting for the onslaught between the PC incorrect "native America" and the Wuffies....

GO pack.
10/23/2013 11:08:44 PM

dindc
The less-stellar 4th floor of Deacon Tower (note: it's singular) has both outdoor club seating and a large indoor lounge area with (not free) food service and beer/wine. There are also private suites on the 4th floor with outdoor seating. You wouldn't know those things existed if you only saw things from the Moricle perch.
_________

BL: OH! I am very familiar with the more pedestrian venue of "the 4th floor of DT". Nice folks there too. .... but I don't pay for F&B regardless. Do people still "do that"?

Moricles Rock !!
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10/23/2013 6:56:21 PM

JDanWuff
Philip Rivers has more class in his toe nail clippings than Adrian Peterson will ever have.
The Clemsonites might be the most neurotic fan base in college football. They are coach goofy and no one will ever be able to replace Danny Ford. Hatfield, West, Bowden, and now Swinney have larger shoes to fill that Frank Howards.
They're nuts.
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BL: "Most neurotic fan base" is a title with many many worthy candidates. :-)
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10/23/2013 5:31:03 PM

YogiNC
For the first time in many years I didn't get season tickets this year due to many factors such as health and events my better half is "Requiring" me to attend this fall. I've discovered I enjoy my big screen much more than 1) traffic, 2) crowds, 3) high priced cokes and hot dogs, 4) NASTY restrooms even when they were cleaned 10 minutes ago, 5) drunks, 6) ... (insert your reasons here). I do miss the great company but my days of going to the ball park are probably over. There is a bit of sadness but hey, now I have that 2 grand in my pocket to pay for Obama care (if I ever get in the site).
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BL: "Drunks" I believe I despise most of all. Even more than "no towels" in the restrooms.
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10/23/2013 4:11:08 PM

mrpoon
Nothing like that.
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BL: Thats good to know.
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10/23/2013 2:48:18 PM

Wolfpack00
Philip Rivers has always been a class act!
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BL: Yes he has. And Russell too.
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10/23/2013 1:35:25 PM

mrpoon
It would be great if Danny Ford could come back to Clemson but the circumstances he left which are top secret prohibit it ever happening.I will tell you in confidence
if I ever run into you around the beach.
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BL: Did it involve a cheerleader or a domesticated farm animal?
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10/23/2013 1:09:14 PM

Bugsy
Have been to VT and BZ but I prefer the Turkey Lounge to watch a game. In fact I get to go there Friday. I will probably be down stairs this time. If you are there I will tell you "I like your columns".
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BL: Vann's Turkey Lounge is another favorite "Enclave". We prefer the upstairs dining room.... quieter and less crowded.
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10/23/2013 12:55:53 PM

BW
Picking on Ole droopy the hound dog Roy is like deer hunting with a high powered rifle. It is just not a real sport. Keep it up. Are you hearing anything about UNC football and bball getting very close to violating the apr requirements similar to what happened to UCONN last year?
Keep speaking the truth to the tasseled loafer bow tie contingent in Chapel Hole.
Wilmer
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BL: Based on yesterday's NCAA "punishment" for Miami.... "what the NCAA will do" is a bigger crapshoot than ever.

Ol' Roy is, however, predictably unpredictable ALWAYS.
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10/23/2013 12:46:31 PM

Charlotte Wuffie
Maybe the film was very different from the game I saw, but.....
Proof that coaches should be drug tested........

CLEMSON, S.C. -- Clemson coach Dabo Swinney says his ninth-ranked Tigers are more even with No. 3 Florida State than the lopsided score in Saturday's meeting indicates. Swinney said Tuesday after watching film of the 51-14 trouncing, he believes if the teams played 10 times, "We'd probably win five, they'd probably win five.
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BL: Thats Dabo being Dabo. His picture at The Esso Club has a dart stuck between his eyes.
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10/23/2013 12:44:52 PM

rivlax
Which reminds me of the progression of bumper stickers at Clemson during Charlie Pell's tenure: It began with "Give 'em hell, Charlie Pell!," then came "What the hell, Charlie Pell!," followed by "Go to hell, Charlie Pell!"
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BL: The Bring Back Danny Ford bunch at Clemson are like vampire *****roaches.... they go dormant now and then but never go away.

Dabo has always been standing on at least one banana peel.
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10/23/2013 12:38:31 PM

Old MacDonald
I have noticed all the BZ empties on TV but have not been to Kenan since the BZ was built -- does every BZ seat have access to a suite or lobby-like area? If so, that building must be huge. As you know, the bottom floor of the Wolf Towers is open-air "club seating" (about 1,000 seats IIRC) with access to a nice lobby/buffet. The rest is luxury suites and press. I can't imagine the "ass-in-actual-seat" occupancy rate in our ~1,000 "club seats" area is any better than the BZ's, but 1) it is not on TV and 2) it is a lot smaller from what I can tell.
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BL: The BZ and VT are VERY similar since they shared design architects / engineers. There is a large common area with buffets, TVs et al then it segregates into suite access and the reserved club seats.

Only difference is public visibility for TBZ club seating is much greater. Only difference I noticed in "people" is their cap / shirt choice of colors.
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10/23/2013 12:26:06 PM

RE
Make room in the BL HallofFame for "Quasimodo's hump. Hump, what hump?"
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BL: I've already submitted it. Marty Feldman LIVES !!!
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10/23/2013 12:19:22 PM

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