NOT "The Last Chili Dog"

Sept 8: I have great columns coming about “The Last Chili Dog” and “Somebody’s Else’s The Kid” but circumstances demand I keep pumping out this

UNC Football Mess Stuff. You Buddies & Babes with real lives, hang in there. I’ll return to you soon.

Jacksonville State beat Ol’ Miss in the BIG UPSET of Week One. How many of you super cool college football fans think Jacksonville State is in Jacksonville FL cause that’s the only Jacksonville you can think of that isn’t in Onslow County next to Camp Lejeune? Its in Jacksonville Alabama – nicknamed The Gem Of The Hills between Birmingham and Atlanta. Just another “why you read BobLeeSays” ! ..... Did Jimma Sexton fax Butch's resume to Oxford and Baton Rouge before midnight last Saturday? Probably.

Reggie Bush has lost his Heisman Trophy AND Kim Kardashian. No one else will get to have his Heisman. That will definitely NOT be the case with Kim.

Sixteen Questions for My Fellow Tar Heels

Just between you and the face in the mirror. If you wish to share your answers to any/all of the following questions with either a posted comment or an e-mail to BobLee ..... feel free.

1.    When you first saw the headline – NCAA Investigators Visit UNC – did you give the slightest option to “uh oh, this could get REALLY bad!” or did you blow it off?

2.    Who are you maddest at right now? ...... Butch – Blake – Marvin – Dickie – Holden – Erskine – State Fans – Dave Huxtable – BobLee – Gene Nichol – T.J. Yates – Larry Drew – That Presbyterian fan   (pick a top three)

3.    Rate these three on an Awful Meter ...... The 8-20 Matt Mess - the blowout loss to KU 3 years ago aka Jayhawk stickergate - this mess - this mess two weeks from now.

4.    Is it even possible for a 65 year old guy named “Dickie” to convey the slightest credibility in a crisis like this?   Should UNC rent a 43 year old guy named Abraham or maybe a Stan.

5.    Did you give Dickie Baddour credit for hiring Butch?   If not, do you blame him now for hiring Butch?   How can you do that, other than “because he’s Dickie“.

6.    Did you see this coming when Butch put the team in those gawd-awful navy unis last October?

7.    Rate the Improbability of: (1) Hillary not knowing where the Rose Law Firm files were - (2) Butch having no idea what Blake was up to - (3) Obama not knowing where his birth certificate is - (4) Bob Winston getting to pick the next UNC FB coach.

8.    Most despised/blamed UNC Asst FB coach of all time ..... Steve Marshall – John Blake – Dave Huxtable – Darrell Moody.

9.    Do you understand that our jackass fans would act EXACTLY LIKE State’s jackass fans are acting now if this mess was reversed? .... or maybe worse.

10.    Do you miss waiting breathlessly for Mo Koury to say something?

11.    Does Mack’s “lyin’ to dem boys” really seem so bad right now? Does Spurrier’s “scoreboard picture” seem so bad right now?

12.    Will Butch ever learn how many Choos in Choo Choo?

13.    Are you MOST upset that what happened happened or that it got discovered?

14.    Did you give your Duke friends hell about Duke Lacrosse? And you expect them to cut you slack NOW?

15.    When/If you come to Kenan this Fall will you make a joke when you see the East EndZone construction? Do you think you will be the only one who will?

16.    Do you think John Blake ever had a cheeseburger and milk shake at Sutton’s Drug Store? Would it have mattered?

♦♦♦

Betcha didn’t know that ...... BobLee’s #1 epitome of what is really a problem about UNC – Gene Nichol – is leaving his $250,000 do-nothing, job at UNC at the end of this year to join his wife in Arizona working for a former UNC Provost who has the same name as former KKK Grand Dragon – Robert Shelton. I have 8 months to find a replacement for Mean Gene. It only took William & Mary a week.

Ruffin McNeil (new ECU Coach) seems like a terrific guy. He should do well based on his INCREDIBLE opening win. But why is he morbidly obese? Surely I’m not the first one to ask?

After their heart-breaking, season mattering killing loss to Boise State, I asked Hokie Jim if he wanted to trade teams. He said “No, thank you”. Smart fella that Hokie Jim.

Guess Who will be returning to Kenan Stadium next Saturday - The Burly Blue-Bleeder Hisownself - doing TV-cast for ISP. HOLY CRAP CHOO CHOO! Only way this gets "juicier" is if MRS Burly Blue-bleeder is his sideline reporter .... "Hank Williams you wrote our life ......"

Rams Club Announces Contest: ..... to come up with a terse 10-word or less snappy comeback to all the crap we’re taking from ABCers. The winning

Third Prize is THREE Suites and ....

retort will get One End Zone suite ....... 2nd place will get Two End Zone Suites and Marvin's old helmet with the dreads hanging out the back..... 3rd place gets Three Suites AND five of those horrid all navy unis worn at the FSU Thursday Night Game. Everyone submitting an entry gets Jimmy Sexton’s VISA card #.

Lots of records get set in feeding frenzies like this. My personal record for havng a thread “about ME” locked on one of the UNC Fan monkey boards is now FOUR MINUTES. Happened this past Monday. Eat your heart out Gregg Doyel! Thanks to all of you who profaned me. I couldn’t do it without the deep-seated hatred of those human hairballs.

A UNC Deep Insider asked me on Monday –“BobLee, are you really smart about this stuff or just making lots of lucky guesses?” Grinning, I replied emphatically – “Maybe!” ..... they call him "The Hammer" cause he just keeps "nailing it".

Krisis Amid Kenan's Lofty Pines
The Series

The Following is the complete series, to date, that BobLee has done on the current unpleasantness involving Carolina Football. From mid-July thru the latest. BobLee is nailing it according to many insiders. Check'em out by Clicking on each one. BobLee never knew he was THIS smart !!

Look Homeward Heels

Jimmy V - Butch & Mary
Just One Tweet & Just One Paira Shoes
8,000,000 Chinese Care
Hi Coach, This is John
Did Carolina Marry A Stripper
Players From Mars, Fans From Venus
Angels Don't Play This Game
Just Hired Help
Happy Birthday Bill

Posted: 9/8/2010 11:57:43 AM by BobLee | with 20 comments

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Comments

	Brad
	Once again BL you nailed it. I would probably trade the Dukes for what happened in Derm since it was off campus and involved some kids making dumb decisions. I think in the end Dickie B will take the fall for all of this. Your correct about big Ruff at ECU, great guy but needs to make a move on his weight. Won't be easy down East, heard Ruff like his Q..
	9/8/2010 12:53:09 PM

	NCSU68Grad
	17. Did you EVER think that William "B.J." Lawson would be AHEAD of David Price in a recently released (albeit from B.J.) poll? Perhaps the fact that you KNEW who B. J. is should be a clue......Next thing, you will see Congressman Price calling for Congressional Hearings into the "situation" in Chapel Hill. His aids (anonymously) say that the email with a UNC.EDU suffix is running 20:1 FOR hearings.... They also commented that all 7 THORP and all 5 THORPE @UNC.EDU have sent in emails, but would not divulge THEIR position.
	9/8/2010 12:55:45 PM

	NCSU88
	Rams Club Contest 10 Word reply "In an effort to win, UNC-CH lost its integrity." That was 9. The cat is out of the bag now. It is always better to tell the truth up front than try to hide it. The longer this mess goes on the worse it will get. I am an NC State Fan and am tired of UNC's problems. Come clean now and let's get on with the football season.
	9/8/2010 1:05:07 PM

	Fred Mueller
	Gene Nichol is leaving UNC at the end of this year to join his wife in Arizona? Geeezzz... we're trying to get RID of the idiots here! (We got rid of Napolitano, but now she's screwing with the entire country instead of just AZ. Sorry about that.)
	9/8/2010 1:27:06 PM

	Trade with a Hoke? NEVAHHHHHHH
	You don't wanna trade place with a Hokie under "ANY" circumstances. Their losing to Boise State made our mess at Carolina more bearable to me. Of course, I have to live, eat and breathe "Hokie air" here in SW Virginia!!!
	9/8/2010 1:29:45 PM

	BobLee
	Fred: I'll try to get Gene's travel plans so you can alert the ICE and border guards. He's headed to Tuscon and UofA.
	9/8/2010 1:30:38 PM

	RowdyBlueTarHeeler
	Is Mrs. Bunting going to be delivered to the sidelines @ BKS in a Carolina blue '57 Thunderbird convertible?
	9/8/2010 2:25:04 PM

	BobLee
	.... or in a chariot pulled by six rotweillers and driven by an albino midget would be a nice touch! .... the mind reels at how this could all go down!
	9/8/2010 2:28:49 PM

	BobLee's#1fan
	I can personally attest that, in 1989, UNC's jackass fans acted EXACTLY LIKE State's are acting now when the situations were reversed. If not worse. You didn't need to hypotheticalize that one, BobLee. It happened. BobLee is a great guy by the way. Had him at my tailgate at Carter-Finley in the early 2000s before a game. By the way, tons of State people love your column, even when you are not ripping UNC.
	9/8/2010 2:55:28 PM

	BobLee
	Thanks #1, Gawd knows, I try!`..... BTW: I'm speaking at the Kinston CC on the 21st. Kinston Sports Club.
	9/8/2010 3:10:16 PM

	Jay Bailey
	BobLee, I think Dawn will be in a chariot pulled by 6 midget lesbians driven buy Donna Shalela sp
	9/8/2010 3:52:07 PM

	steve stacy
	man, #7 is impossible!
	9/8/2010 3:53:44 PM

	WhoaNelly
	John Swofford is a redneck who thinks people in New England (and Miami) care about college football.
	9/11/2010 9:32:18 PM

	BobLee
	Whoa: That seems a bit harsh. Harvard vs Yale draws pretty well and The U has had its moments over the past 20 years.
	9/11/2010 10:13:18 PM

	WhoaNelly
	BL, Both points true, but that does not, in my eyes, make them ACC worthy. Signed, Still A Little Bitter 'bout Expansion
	9/11/2010 10:52:31 PM

	BobLee
	Oh, I agree that Little Johnny's expansion choices would NOT have been mine AT ALL. Especially BC.
	9/12/2010 7:20:49 AM

	Clootie
	BobLee, The talk of chili dogs makes me think of that great existential question: Should catsup be used on hotdogs?
	9/12/2010 9:44:36 AM

	BobLee
	I see it as a individual decision similar to "can it really be Brunswick Stew without at least some squirrel meat?" .... ..... I don't generally put ketchup or catsup on my hotdogs but I have and I know good folks who do.
	9/12/2010 9:51:46 AM

	NCSU68Grad
	Just when I thought that you had been immune to all the propoganda at a certain university, that you, I believe attended and graduated from.... In my rural NC Piedmont Hometown, you could get two "STANDARD" Hot Dogs. If you ordered a HD from the local stands, the ones that were honky tonks in disguise, you got Mustard, Chili, Slaw, Ketchup and ONIONS. NEVER that Yankee Pickle Relish. You had to CUSTOM order if you wanted anything else or something left off.....BUT, if you went to the snack bar at the local Drive IN, a HD came with all the above, EXCEPT NO ONIONS.....When I immigrated to Pennsylvania in the summer of 1968 and went to a Lake Erie hot dog stand to order food for my bride, I ordered the standard HD. The counter girl was MORTIFIED....First they don't have NO Cole Slaw and Second, if they did, her Daddy would NOT put in on one of his creations......Thus endeth the HD scriptures of the day.....My SIL, who graduated from the same institution that you did, puts Ketchup on EVERYTHING that has been associated with meat (except Pizza). That includes pork chops, chicken, beef (any form), venison, doves, quail and REAL Bear meat...SO, I thought it was something that you learned to do in the Food Commisary, to protect your system for the unknown strains of bacteria that lurked on the food so lovingly prepared.
	9/12/2010 7:40:45 PM