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Oh Me! Oh My!.... OH MATT !

Oh Me, Oh My.... Oh MATT !

...... Sept 12,’12: Whatever can I write about today ?? There’s the wild card race in the AL.... go O’s. Those replacement refs?? NASCAR’s Chase begins?? South Alabama visits The Carter?? .... Nahhh, I need something oozing with sex and abject stoopidity. The DNC last week? No, something a bit closer to home. Let’s google Great Unpleasantness This Week and see what pops up - - - GREAT SNAKES & LITTLE WIGGLERS !!

Matt & Me.... my personal association with Matt (do I really need to say “which Matt”?) consists of a 30-minute conversation in the Chancellor’s Box at Kenan three years ago. He was most unhappy about Butch’s all-navy uniforms for that Thursday night game vs FlaState. Golly, remember when stuff like “uniform colors” was a lively conversation topic on board Ye Olde Flagship? Those were the days, huh!

I got the distinct impression he was not onboard the Butcher Bandwagon. He confirmed he was a regular reader of this website so I took an immediate liking to the guy. He didn’t like Butch ..... He did like Me – he seemed to have his priorities in order back then.

A few months later I was sitting courtside at Dean’s Dome with a UNC Super Poobah (AND a Duke Professor !!)..... the Poobah gossiped with adolescent glee that “Matt Kupec is dating Tami Hansbrough.... hubba hubba!”   I swear he actually said “hubba hubba”.   At that precise moment the Poobah, the professor and I were 3’ away and eye-level with the sweat-drenching midriff of a nubile cheerleader. On such occasions middle-aged men are prone to ribald phrases like “hubba hubba”.

I suppose I could format this as an essay illustrating man’s inevitable descent into the darkest depths of hell in vain pursuit of a shaplier calf or a firmer breast or simply the desire to play Russian Roulette with one’s personal and professional life. But I’m opting for rapid-fire stream of consciousness zingers..... It would be nice if you credit ol’ BobLee with some of these, but I can’t force you to do that.

Who is benefitting the most from “Matt & Tami”? Lance Thomas.   Who? I rest my case.

You KNOW the Ladies’ Garden Club back in Poplar Bluff is havin’ a ball with this.   Tami had to have honed her Black Widow skills on a few of the locals gents before she moved on to Mississippi.

Matt certainly isn’t the first, or last, guy to go “middle-age crazy”. But most middle-aged guys in college towns opt for coeds. It says something for Ms T that she could beat out that competition. Did Matt also buy the obligatory Porsche Carrera and get the “Born To Raise Hell” tattoo? Does one Tami = two 25 y/os? I'm not sure of the rules on this stuff.

Tami isn’t the first, or last, gal to use the missionary position to get a position.

Little Johnny Swofford purposely times Notre Dame Joins ACC announcement to divert media hysteria over Matt & Tami. AttaBoy Johnny Swofford. :-)

How much shelf life would this story have if it had broken BEFORE Marvin had tweeted?

Senior UNC Official Resigns Over Expense Kiting = a one-day story

Former UNC QB / Sr UNC Official Resigns Over Expense Kiting = a two-week story

Former UNC QB & Beauty Queen Mamma Hansbrough Gallivanting All Over on University Nickel = Priceless !! Shelf Life = Forever.

Jimmy V could be resurrected and be seen having lasagna at Amedeo’s with Ev Case and Coach Gott and it would be “below the fold” in The Technician this week.

Bubba, did they mention THIS during your job interview?

Imagine Mrs Fedora and Mrs Cunningham over coffee “What kind of freakin’ carnival sideshow have we joined?”

Patti Thorp has gotta be thinking “you know, being the wife of the Director of The Morehead Planetarium was a pretty good life.”

Gene Nichol is smiling..... “And everyone thought I was the craziest sumbitch in this circus.”

Bart Ehrmann.... “I told them there is No God. Now maybe they’ll believe me.”

Ol’ Roy..... “Dadgummit, Mamma Ware and Mamma Drew were the ones I figgered would cause trouble. I gotta start recruiting youngsters without mammas.”

Dan Kane..... “The odds that I will be the last reporter to be laid off at The N&O just keep getting better and better. Hell, I might outlast Drescher and Quarles at this rate.”

Somewhere Chris Kupec is saying “No, it’s not me. I’m not my brother’s keeper.”

Does "Matt" (Doherty & Kupec) now join "Julius" (Nyang'oro & Peppers) as Least Favorites Names for male babies born at UNC Hospital?

I commented on-record when Tami got that dental school gig – “Uh oh, no good will come of this.”   There were dozens of other places around CHill they coulda hid Tami – secretary for Franklin Street Partners..... concierge at The Siena..... cocktail waitress at TopOfTheHill. Or heck.... Maceo Sloan over in Derm hires all of Coach K’s player mammas. Maceo could come up with something.... But on the UNC payroll ??? I guess it could be worse. They coulda hired her as a tutor. ..... NOTE: I had suggested her as make-up consultant for the UNC Dance Team if you recall.

Wonder if Deborah Crowder and Jennifer Wiley are looking for a third roommate?

How many women above the age of 30 end their name in "i"? I mean Really! I thought that was reserved for NFL cheerleaders and pole dancers.

Matt is unemployed now; with most of his assets going to the former Mrs K. How long before Ms T packs up her Louis Vuittons and moves on? Can’t be but so many miles left on her “curb appeal”. Maybe she goes to Atlanta and battles Phyllis George for Charlie Loudermilk?   That cat-fight would have some pay-for-view potential.

Will Matt end up squatting outside the Chapel Hill Post Office looking like Robinson Crusoe in a Grateful Dead t-shirt holding a cardboard sign – “Will raise $4,000,000,000 for a hot meal and a cot.”

In whatever converted broom closet Dickie Baddour is using as his silly made-up office on campus, you know he’s wondering “How is BobLee gonna blame THIS ONE on me?” ..... I’m not Prince Tassel Loafer. You get a pass this time.

Dickie.... "So do ya'll still think Matt woulda been a better AD than I was?" Are you kidding? Nakhtar woulda been as good. Dawn Bunting woulda been better.

Will Dan Kane’s investigation reveal how much “funds” Ms T raised from middle-aged dentists with hum-drum lives and vivid imaginations?

PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE.... don’t anyone tell Kindly Ol’ Bill Friday about this. His new pacemaker can’t handle it.

How many of you said after the parking tickets story: “Well, this should finally be the end of all this. Now can we get back to playing football and educating young people?” .........Ahhhh, those were The Good Old Days.

All we need now is Rip Taylor throwing confetti and Billy Arthur riding a unicycle.

>><<

Oh and then there’s that Notre Dame / ACC thingy too..... It’ll take me a few days to think about that. Listen to the radio show on Saturday. I’m sure Art & I will have a few salient comments.

TOTALLY UNCONFIRMED that Tami is already headed to South Bend with her sights set on "The Gipper".

>><<

Posted: September 12, 2012 at 12:09 PM by SaidWHATMedia | with 31 comments

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Comments

	Boyd Pearson really was a good QB
	Word on the block is that you've got the right state, but it's not South Bend...Right now, Tami's in transit to Indianapolis to be closer to Tyler.....and she's got 600 miles to repeat the mantra, "Larry Bird is a handsome man...Larry Bird is a handsome man...." _______ BL: She's definitely a gal on the move. !! .
	9/17/2012 11:33:56 AM

	thailand
	Chief Gillespie: You take care, y'hear? You too.......
	9/14/2012 11:23:12 PM

	Richard Herring
	BL, Bob Harris's email : xxxxxx@nc.rr.com touch base with him, a super guy and our age. ___________ BL: I just did. Thanks. Ol' Woody never much cared for my comments. Bob will likely be less critical. Bob just replied. Contact established. :-) .
	9/14/2012 7:34:02 PM

	The Cowdog
	Gus: A man who wouldn't cheat for a poke don't want one bad enough. ______ BL: Body Heat AND now Lonesome Dove !! Can we fit in a "gun & cannolis" reference or a "be the ball" or Leave him alone, he's on a roll" ?? .
	9/14/2012 2:27:08 PM

	thailand
	Very funny stuff...picturing those two wives having coffee :-) .....I've heard that Matt was being considered for chancellor before Thorp and as his replacement too (what irony)......If John Edwards had kept his Raleigh house on Allegheny Drive and been content with the house white and the company of the 'great whites' at the Glenwood Grill and kept 'it' in his pants along the campaign trail, he might very well be sitting in a posh office entertaining his Poobah friends at the South Building right now giving you more fuel and fodder to drive your ratings clear off the Internet Richter Scale.......(not that you need it though)......Great comments, too..... Body Heat a favorite of mine-- one of those 'noir' films...... Ned: How's the cop business, Oscar? ....Oscar: Real good. Always starts hopping in weather like this. When it gets this hot, people try to kill each other...... So many people in high places seem to have the lowest self esteem......The high self esteem Guys like your tenured professor in his obscure niche.....walking to his quaint campus from his charming "Victorian" .....loved by his students, other faculty members resenting his popularity and coolness..... Back to Body Heat-- Peter: Assistant County Prosecutor is not the end of the line for me. Ned: No, no. Someday, Deputy County Prosecutor........ Well I'll leave you as the news is revealing crazy "Mushrooms" (my Thai wife again) attacking embassies, burning KFC joints and lastly a Hardees in Tripoli.....Thoughts of that fast food idea by Jim Gardner years ago (days of Danny Talbott, Charlie Noggle--for balance --Leo Hart) :-) Think I will don my USA soccer jersey and head down Walking Street (Pattaya) tonight and brush up against a few drunken Muslims in the "Musroom" nightclub sector pointing them eastward (but really west) and continue on with my symbolic suicide bombing mission until the Thai police steer me back to my sanity--just kidding.....The day-to-day research triangle happenings adds great levity to that scourge--that and the Thai Beach bunnies--keep 'em coming..... Oscar: Whatcha got for pie today, Stella? Stella: I got cherry, cherry and cherry. Oscar: Well, what do you recommend? Stella: I like the cherry. Oscar: Bring it on. _________ BL: A Jim Gardner reference with Body Heat. Somewhere ol' man Hardee grins. Before Kathleen Turner became The Met Life Blimp - Snoopy 2 she was about as "steam heat" as it could get. The jumbo version - not as much so. Yeah... "this one" is quickly creeping into Top Five All-Time views. It blew up the ECU Boneyard website. A place that knows a little about "hotties" for sure. You hunker down over yonder in your third world hovel and don't be pissin' off no towelheads.... ya hear? .
	9/14/2012 11:35:01 AM

	Zoot
	Since posting this, I have broken out in warts and I am bleeding from the eyes. _______ BL: You're still better off than Matt is. .
	9/14/2012 4:08:15 AM

	MattN
	'Who would be "wing man".' Marvin Austin in a "freakum dress." Now, you'll excuse me why I go gouge my eyes out to erase that mental image.... __________ BL: Kupec & Edwards cruisin' for chicks at I-40 truck stops !! A great reality show format !! .
	9/13/2012 4:56:39 PM

	fayettewuf
	Wow, the hits just keep on coming. So you think the trio of women might be holed up in a bunker somewhere guarded by Cheshire's junior associates? The Dawn Bunting Curse idea is intriguing. So UNC either finds a counter-spell or becomes the Cubs of collegiate sports...maybe Julius is searching in Africa for a witch doctor? _________ BL: Speaking of curses and Cubs. A billy goat is a key character in Cub curse lore and a goat and a ram are cuzzins ??? .
	9/13/2012 3:12:08 PM

	Zoot
	Speaking of Dawn Bunting, do you think that after hubby was asked to go, she broke out the pentagram and some chicken bones and brought the "great unpleasantness" on CHill? ________ BL: By George you might have hit on it! Makes as much sense as any other opinions I'm hearing. .
	9/13/2012 10:59:38 AM

	paintcan
	Anybody else here old enough to remember Kupec's locker room moniker during his playing days? Hint - it probably relates to current situation. ________ BL: He doesn't post here but I'm betting Bill Span would know. It sounds like a Bill Span type of question. .
	9/13/2012 10:39:20 AM

	YogiNC
	Dern Bobby, you switched days on me! AND I have got to stop reading this while drinking that first cup in the morning, at least half of it gets blown all over my monitor and desktop. As for favs (and there were lot's in this one, some of the fodder has gotten way out of hand lately) mine was "That cat-fight would have some pay-for-view potential". Sign me up, haven't seen George in quite some time but from her days with Irv and Brent I'm pretty sure she could put Tami on notice. I'm not sure if you could "sell it out" but I do see profit potential inside the 50 mile radius. ________ BL: Actually Phyllis and Tami look kind of alike albeit Tami may be 8-10 years PG's junior. Both have tiaras and sashes in their resumes. Both have maintained "curb appeal" for sure. PG has worked a more upscale market over the years with John Y Brown and now Chas Loudermilk. Tami has never got above AAA ball YET! .
	9/13/2012 8:44:36 AM

	Queen City
	Does this mean the officials called Hansbrough for traveling? ________ BL: and "flopping" and "cuddling" and Lord knows what else. .
	9/12/2012 7:52:49 PM

	Chip
	Wow! Body Heat! I can see Tami saying that classic Kathleen Turner line to Matt: "You're not very smart. I like that in a man." Seeing Dr. Hansbrough on TV with Tyler's hot young stepmom I assumed he left Tami for the hottie. I may have been wrong. ________ BL: Actually they (Doc & Tami) were divorced, I think, when Tyler was in Jr Hi or early HS. Yes, Doc rebounded well. .
	9/12/2012 7:37:30 PM

	RaleighWolf
	Being a Wolfie, I am loath to admit that the Chapel Hill campus of the consolidated University is superior to the Raleigh campus in anything. However, in this case, I must bow to UNC's greatness. Your scandal ridden femme fatale's are MUCH MUCH more attractive than our scandal ridden femme fatale's! Tami Hansbrough >>>>>>> Mary Easley! __________ BL: It's the REAL Carolina Way !! :-) .
	9/12/2012 7:23:36 PM

	MattN
	No idea how Thorp survives this latest broadside to the Flagship. My gut says he'll resign or be resigned by week's end. And Tami has, indeed, left the building. But you know that by now.... __________ BL: Matt will be in front of the Post Office by early next week. Maybe he and Edwards can cruise Franklin St bars together. Who would be "wing man". ..
	9/12/2012 6:38:21 PM

	barelypure
	BL, maybe you have the answer. Tami divorced Gene in 1995 and remarried. I assume this was before her unpleasantness with Lisa Fritz in 2009. Why did she fall back to using Hansbrough and not her more recent married name or her maiden name? Any ideas? ________ BL: I imagine Tami has reinvented herself several times. The Hansbrough name opened doors in CHill. Who can blame her for that? .
	9/12/2012 6:13:46 PM

	Walt-in-Durham
	It's official, UNC-CH is challenging the University of Kentucky and Ohio State for absurdum athleticum. Walt-in-Durham __________ BL: Does that count the Helms banner? .
	9/12/2012 5:16:23 PM

	duckfetch
	The Society of Concerned Wives with Affluent Husbands might want to put a tracking collar on Tami. ______ BL: She eats polite house fraus for breakfast. .
	9/12/2012 5:02:49 PM

	duckfetch
	to TM in Roswell: I think plenty have the history on her skinny...oh, sorry, got that backwards. _______ BL: And she ain't done yet! .
	9/12/2012 4:50:40 PM

	TheDukeProfessor
	Those cheerleaders were, indeed, nubile. And agile. Wore me out just looking. NOT that that stopped me from looking. Hubba hubba indeed. __________ BL: a memorable evening indeed! Wonder how that Poobah is doing these days? .
	9/12/2012 4:11:10 PM

	Greg
	I see someone already pointed out the Robinson Crusoe bit but it deserves another shout-out. Dennis Miller wants to be BobLee in his dreams. _______ BL: Any reference to a Daniel Defoe character usually is a big hit. Count of Monte Christo stuff works too .
	9/12/2012 3:32:44 PM

	Monroe
	As Ollie said to Stan, or was it Tammi, “Another fine mess you’ve gotten me into!” God knows, what’s next, Choo-Choo’s ghost taking a dump ‘neath the pines? ________ BL: Methinks the Chooster just quick-kicked his leather helmet. .
	9/12/2012 3:24:21 PM

	AlInAsheville
	".... the sweat-drenching midriff of a nubile cheerleader." I'm still breathing heavy over that one image. I'm guessing that was not Governor Perdue, right? _______ BL: If it was, she sure wasn't getting booed by the three of us. .
	9/12/2012 3:00:52 PM

	WeaverDairyRdGuy
	You brought your A Game today BL. ____________ BL: Only as good as the richness of my material. I live in a time of great abundance of absurdum. .
	9/12/2012 2:52:18 PM

	Old MacDonald
	As the credits rolled at the end of some of the old Gong Show episodes, a midget would run around throwing confetti. BL, I don't think we have seen the midget yet on this thing. Before this broke, I was going to ask you how/if Thorp kept a straight face with some of the stuff he said at the faculty meeting last week. Tamigate has now put those questions on page 27. _______ BL: These be "the Best of Times" to be an Internet smart-ass for sure. .... fat ladies sing and midgets throw confetti.... .
	9/12/2012 2:47:02 PM

	TM in Roswell
	Perhaps we have an insight into why Tami and Tyler’s Dad are divorced. Would be interesting spending an hour with someone close to her that could give the skinny on her history. _________ BL: Wanna bet there is a hair dresser in Poplar Bluff that could "write a book" !! .
	9/12/2012 2:23:45 PM

	Sammy
	Kudos BL. I think you got every name in there except Hook Dillon, Herbert Aphtheker and Dave Huxtable. _____ BL: Actually I almost used Huxtable instead of Nakhtar. Serge Zwikker woulda been a good one too. .
	9/12/2012 2:06:18 PM

	IronDuke
	The old movies Body Heat and Blood Simple....seem helpful in these times. You probably know Body Heat pretty well. ________ BL: Yeah, I can see some Kathleen Turner in Tami. Luckily Matt is too old for the Cougar label. .
	9/12/2012 1:32:49 PM

	duckfetch
	The Bart Ehrmann line is really good! ________ BL: Waaay too "inside UNC religion" for most readers; but I liked it. .
	9/12/2012 1:21:38 PM

	ST
	all's I can say is "hubba freaking hubba". ___________ BL: Sometimes that says it all. .
	9/12/2012 12:47:11 PM

	Jack
	BL, I was doing OK until I got to "looking like Robinson Crusoe..... $4,000,000,000 for a hot meal & a cot" then my keyboard blew up and everything in the room started spinning. What did you say after that? ________ BL: To tell you the Truth I lost it about there too. I think I worked in Dawn Bunting somewhere. .
	9/12/2012 12:41:30 PM