Week One: Like Little Big Horn Times Ten
...... Sept 03, ’12:
Week One was more offensive than an Andrew Dice Clay concert. More massacres than at Little Big Horn and Wounded Knee combined. Scoreboard operators were being treated for carpal tunnel syndrome all across BCS Nation. By midnight Saturday, a dozen Defensive Coordinators had committed hari-kari. Six more were thrown under team buses...... and Art & I somehow survived Show One.
I like Touchdowns.... Home Runs..... 3-pt goals..... and Holes-In-One. I enjoy scoring. Pitching duels and 3 & outs bore me. So I enjoyed the heck outta Week One of Color & Pageantry 2012. I think most folks enjoy “offense” otherwise why would so many folks be so offensive?
The mythical Phoenix could never be killed. If the Elon “Phoenix” FB team got out of bed Sunday morning then that must be true.
If Elon was still The Fighting Christians – Saturday in Kenan woulda been akin to the Roman Coliseum under the Nero Administration.
If Elon was still the Christians - Saturday in Kenan was more unfriendly to them than a Democratic Convention.
If Elon was still...... OK, you get the picture.
Should joy-starved UNCers start touting “if we COULD go bowling this year, we bet it would be better than Shreveport”? Let’s hold off on such bombast for a few weeks.
Should the dormant Anti-TO’B faction over on The Brickyard start sharpening their pitchforks and lighting their torches? That too might be somewhat premature. Although if they took their marching orders from my WCHL broadcast partner – Br’er Chansky – TO’B would be DOA PDQ.
Artie did “a Dan Kane” on State Football Saturday morning. He started pounding and just wouldn’t stop. Stutts and I had to hit the boy with a tranquilizer dart. There IS a reason Art's picture is not on Amedeo’s Wall of Heroes. Our respective strong opinions drew expected strong reactions. No Bob Kennel; I will NOT give you Art's home address.
Our full show audio is available right here. Read the rest of this column then come back and spend an hour listening to The Good Guys.
We are now in the era of pinball football - scoreboards spinning outta control. If three minute go by without a TD, fans are flipping channels to The Real Housewives Of Cajun Pawn Stars.
Week One is usually a lot of BCS Bullies vs Little Sisters of The Poor mismatches and this was no exception.
Q: Whats the difference between a Nigerian mother selling her baby to Angelina Jolie & Brad Pitt or Arkansas State going to Eugene Oregon for a $1,000,000 check?
A: The Nigerian mother still has her pride.
Duke, Wake and ECU are still in the hunt for the Natty Championship.
As are Alabama, Clemson, Tennessee and SoCal.
Saturday in Kenan was BRUTAL
. I was hosting the Lettermen’s Lounge which is on the South Concourse and air-conditioned. I made an executive decision to let any/all PDEWs (Pretty DownEast Wimmen) in to escape the heat. I thought $50 for ten-minutes plus a cuppa ice was quite fair. For those without the $50, their offers of barter got almost embarrassing. There were these three really sweaty Tri Delts who...... nevermind.
Fans who endured the sweltering conditions beyond the first half deserve a LOT more appreciation from UNC than Dickie Baddour got to “just go away”. Yeah, that still sticks in my craw.
Week Two will see a culling of the undefeated herd, which by month’s end will likely be down to single digits. Alabama vs Southern Cal is the easy pick for this year’s Greatest Game Of The Century.
BobLee, what did you think of the NCAA saying “who cares” about Julius’ various shenanigans while dropping the hammer on other schools for providing a bus ticket for a kid to go to his grandmamma funeral? ....... No one enjoys seeing ABCers heads explode more than I do but REALLY this NCAA no-interest caught me by surprise.
Each week I will be doing a special column on chapelboro.com re: some aspect of Carolina Football. It is a special section called Huddle With The Heels. If you go there expecting to read about Roman Gabriel, Ted Brown or Philip Rivers, you will be disappointed. Here’s that link
AgentPierce is likely going to get kinda froggy over OccupyCharlotte this week.
If that’s your cuppa tea, check him out.... CLICK.