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Week Two: Truman, We're Not Playin' Kansas Anymore!

WEEK TWO: Truman, We're Not Playin' Kansas Any More

...... Sept 9, ’12: To most of you it was just agate type in the Sunday college scoreboard; but it was more than that to some of us. I am a student of the socio-cultural aspects of American sports. The results of cards laid and cards played in BCS poker. If this were “strip poker”, Truman The Missouri Tiger is down to one sock and his skivvies. .... and the latest with the Fightin’ Fedorians, TO’Bians et

al......

With visions of 1/14th shares of bowl jackpots dancing in their heads, the Poobahs of THE University of Missouri followed the golden brick road out of the comfortable Midwest surroundings of Big 8 – Big 12 World for the vaunted SEC. Bye bye Branson and hello to the glitz & glamour of college football’s version of The Vegas Strip. Oh Boy Oh Boy.....

No more Ames Iowa and “Little Apple” (Manhatten Ks). No more wavin’ wheat of those obnoxious Rock Chalkers that Quantrill should have massacred. No more Texas, Oklahoma and everyone else play for 3rd place. No siree Don Faurot, Kellen Winslow and Chase Daniel.

Pinkel’s Fightin’ Tigers and the good citizens of CoMo (that’s Columbia. Mo to the rest of the continental US of A) were “movin’on up to the Big Time” of the SEC. That’s Mister SEC to you, Mizzou.

The Land of Hedges and Groves and Swamps and Rocky Tops and Death Valleys and Rollin’ Tides and Bears in houndstooth hats and War damn Eagles and Cockabooses. Where “it ain’t cheatin’ lessen you get caught”.... and “if you ain’t cheatin’ then you don’t want it bad enuff”.

You really are “in a heapa trouble boy” if you show up for an SEC game without brass knuckles and a tire iron..... and that’s just for visiting chancellors and provosts. ..... Where "west of the Mississippi" is considered "East" and where "good teams" play for 6th place table scraps.

Mizzou hosted its very first SEC opponent Saturday night – THE Univ of Gawja with The Reverend Mark Richt and ever how many Dawgs aren’t suspended or in lockdown this week.

The excited CoMo-ians got all dressed up and hung a big “Welcome to Missouri” banner at the city limits. The mayor’s daughter was all set to sing “Georgia on My Mind”. The CoMo Junior League baked a messa pecan pies and someone even dug up an old Jimma Carter yard sign.

Of course, Mizzou ditched their beautiful traditional helmets & uniforms for bling bling rags designed by Flavor Fave.

When the early outriders of the Dawgs Motor Home Caravan began arriving Thursday AM, they ripped the banner down, used it as “TP” and some wayward Son of UGa urinated on Mizzou’s fabled columns. ...... and Georgia fans are considered “kinda laidback” by SEC standards.

Marauding LSU and ‘Bama fans have been known to burn crops, slaughter livestock and kidnap any wimmenfolk that

might make decent breeding stock back home.

Mizzou’s Tiger Mascot – Truman has a smile on his face.
LSU’s Tiger Mascot – Mike has a bloody human appendage in his fangs.

Mizzou fans had figured “well, gee whiz, we’ve been playing national powers Texas, Oklahoma and Nebraska every year for decades. We know something about Big Boy Football.”

Yeah, well they conveniently forgot they got buttwhupped by Texas, Oklahoma and Nebraska 9 outta 10 times. The final score was Gawja 41- Mizzou 20 but it was sorta close...... in the first half. By game's end, the Dawgs were dancing the Missouri Waltz in the late Larry Munson's famed hob-nailed boots.

Someone equated it to a retired couple purchasing a big fancy Harley to “See America”. One of those really fancy models with lotsa chrome and saddlebags and fringe on the handlebars and helmets with walkie-talkies and everything...... then joining Hell’s Angels and hearing “you kinda remind me of Ned Beatty” while banjos dueled in the background. Uh oh.

Today those good citizens of CoMo are wondering if 1/14th of a bowl jackpot can fill that cavity where their institutional soul used to be.

PS: Could it get ANY worse for CoMo and Mizzou? Yes. Local boy - Carl Edwards - missed out on qualifying for NASCAR's Chase this year. But at least Quinn Snyder is still long gone.

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Meanwhile The Fightin’ Fedorians learn that not all small private schools in North Carolina are the same. To quote another Triangle-area coach – “we can still win 11.”

That afore-mentioned other Triangle-area coach kept his offense under wraps in Storrs so as not to show South Alabama and The Citadel too much. His Wuffs can also “still win 11”.

Duke traveled to Palo Alto where Johnny Dawkins had everyone over for a cook-out before the Stanford Fighting Fir Tree ran up half a hundred on’em. Luck (Andrew) had already run out but so had Duke’s.

Savannah State banked another $500,000 giving up a point for every dollar to the ‘Noles.

Meanwhile in MLB.... both Baltimore and Washington will probably make the playoffs. THAT is simply inconceivable..... in a good way.

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Week Two of The Good Guys w/ Art C & BobLee continues to fly under the FCC’s policies & standards radar. Rumors of Art & BobLee replacing Skip Bayless & Stephen A are just plain silly. ..... CLICK.

The following is my weekly column for chapelboro.com Huddle With The Heels. Depending upon your other options, it might be worth a read.

No Such Thing as an ABWFer
By BobLee 09/09/12

I was determined to channel Charlie Dickens for my UNC v Wake retrospective even before Larry Fedora being undefeated on Tobacco Road was snuffed out like a half-smoked Camel. Take your pick – Modest Expectations .... or A Tale of Two Programs.

On The Good Sports pre-game show, I had The Fightin’ Fedorians headed to Louisville next week at 2-0. That was based on Carolina royally thumping essentially the same bunch o’ Deacons last year in Kenan. I figured it would be a 10 points or less W for the Sons Of Choo Choo because nobody routs a Jim Grobe team..... except an Everett Withers’ team last year. I was wrong.

I also predicted a Duke W in Palo Alto. Ouch! Wonder who Johnny Dawkins was pulling for in that one? Speaking of Johnny Dawkins..... what’s your favorite Lance Thomas joke.... so far?

It’s September 2012 and the only Athletics Dept in the Triangle NOT being fitted for an orange jumpsuit and prison tatt is NC freakin’ State !! I’m sure that is in Revelations as a sure sign of the Apocalypse. I digress...... READ MORE

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Posted: September 10, 2012 at 6:29 AM by SaidWHATMedia | with 17 comments

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Comments

	fayettewuf
	Looking over the PackPride board, I saw two threads calling for State to jump to the SEC. One because of the rumor that ND would join the ACC and the other expressed the belief that it would improve recruiting. Thought about your take on the Mizzou move. Maybe we could hire that Davis guy. His contract should expire soon. I expect he would be right at home in the SEC. _______ BL: and don't forget Black Santa too. I'm sure Mizzou would like to see NCSU in the SEC - one more likely W each year before playing the Big Boys. .... PackPride is a very very scary place. .
	9/12/2012 11:27:41 AM

	NCSU68Grad
	thialand, Your comments are right on....this has all the elements of a Robins or Collins piece of fiction....only it seems to be true....or at least what is being reported. As a person that is also "DATED" and watched a lot of Earl Edwards football (including the Gabe years) while matriculating at STATE, there is ONE thing missing. The Cloud of Dust and three yards also produced a HECK of a lot of Quick Kicks on Third Down. That was one of the signature plays at Rickety Riddick. So, if TOB starts to emmulate this....then it is a telling sign. _______ BL: If "quick kicks" are called for, maybe TO'B should bring a certain WRN radio color commentator back in uniform. .
	9/12/2012 8:56:47 AM

	thailand
	Finally the best seller unfolding at UNC is taking on the feel of a steamy Jackie Collins or Harold Robbins novel (dated?).....Money and power and now 'sex'--the trifecta.....Great airport reading.....Lay my bamboo flute down for about six hours and listened to American football early Sunday morning Thai time.....My wife (Thai) fixed me NC deviled eggs and menta chee sandich (Thai) as a surprise.....State game reminded me of the Earl Edwards' days--three yards and a cloud of dust but even those low scoring games can be pretty fun--being around friends and munching on deviled eggs and menta chee sands and such and just hoping that a last second Hail Mary doesn't do us in......I know a lot Matt's over this way--some still looking back through the sparkling shaved ice of a Bombay Safire gin and tonic, glowing neon bar signs flicking in refraction, fingering a thin lime wheel into the liquor, and tracing their life down the side of the glass.......Somerset Maugham, Kipling, and Conrad spun many a tale about these parts, but Matt's story is universal--I remember good things about Matt......My Raleigh guys should be gentle...... _______ BL: "gentle" was off the table when Marv first tweeted. Jackie & Harold would be hard pressed to match this now. .
	9/12/2012 12:14:18 AM

	Dr Wire
	Mizzou and TA&M will take a licking' and keep on ticking once they get their first SEC check which will be must larger than the check approved by UofTx. The latest turns of The Great Unpleasantness has to be making HT punch drunk. Miss Missouri must be a real work of art dragging men down in Missouri, Mississippi and NC. The next few BOT meetings will test his ability to withstand this storm. And to think he is depending on the Martin commission to save his behind as well as the collective behinds of collective behinds of the program whose name shall not be mentioned. _________ BL: TGU is now so far out into deep space you need the Hubble Telescope to read the credits. .
	9/11/2012 10:42:29 PM

	SWVAUNCer
	The shame of the entire MK/TH mess is Matt was a really good boss. He treated the "underlings" in his department as they should be treated -- with respect, dignity, and fairness. As one of the "underlings" who worked under him years ago, I am so sorry to hear that he got off track with a woman who is not nearly as pretty (and probably not as smart) as his wife, who also gave him four daughters. Will intelligent men who should know better ever learn? _________ BL: They haven't going as far back as Samson so I don't hold out much hope. Only know MK very superficially (one extended conversation 3-4 years ago). He said he was a regular BLSays reader !! .... I'm pretty sure this latest stunt sends us down the rabbithole to goodness knows where! .
	9/11/2012 2:21:37 PM

	NCSU68grad
	You, oh leader of the Charmed Life, are indeed blessed. The Kupec-Hansbrough "situation" is approaching 200 comments on the News&Destroyer. I almost totalled my keyboard this morning when I read the REST of the story. There was NOT the sordid details about "Tami" (will she do a Karoke and put it on YouTube of Tammy Wynette's "Stand By Your Man...") and Matt. I will say that I totally have underestimated the creativity of some of the UNC folks. I won't start speculating about black ops....but I now know that Osama was just checking the halls when he got popped. Seal Team Six could not plan a rescue and pull it off for UNC's re*****tion.... Will certainly make the columns easier.... Have at it.....expecting an "EXTRA" email as I type this.... ________ BL: Sure is a really stoopid mess. MK isn't the first man to destroy his life by using the wrong head. Wanna bet Tami moves on while she still has some "curb appeal". .
	9/11/2012 11:08:55 AM

	Sigmond
	BL,.... Which was it? Did Renner get his bell rung by the Demon Deacs or did he attempt the Fedora Football Flop to try and get extra downs at the goal line? The Cat With No Hat (or brain for that matter), must really want to beat the sluggers of Louisville on Saturday. Let AJ play QB and HB! Renner clearly had a concussion and the NCAA rule book says that's an automatic hold back for the next game. The Carolina Way continues ... Motherly Love, Sigmond P.S. Maybe Larry should lay off the Red Bull. I hear that stuff affects your judgment, especially when you're bowl ineligible. Why take a chance with Renner? _________ BL: The Clavins are working overtime tonight. ..... Too much Tri-Lateral Conspiracy in that for me. Is Renner a Knights Templar? .
	9/10/2012 10:14:36 PM

	CNR
	The real reason, even more than the money, that Nebraska, A&M, Mizzou, and Arkansas ran away from the big bad rich Longhorns is the following: Horns lead Ags (77-37-5); Huskers (10-4); Hogs (56-21); and Missouri (17-6-0). That would be (160-68-5). Perhaps the four thought that if the Horns are (7-1-1) with Alabama and (59-42-5) against Oklahoma that they could handle Alabama. Who knows what goes through the mind of some fan bases. Mizzou is too near Kentucky, Vanderbilt, Arkansas, and Ole Miss. They are deluded into believing those four are SEC football. Alabama, Auburn, Georgia, Florida, and LSU are SEC football. Tennessee is just another school composed of imported Hessians. When the pipelines are closed down they are just another ACC, Big Ten, or Big 12 school with a great fan base and stadium. When you hear of the mighty (and they are beyond mighty) SEC, do you think of Alabama-Auburn or Vandy-UK playing football? Thought so. Not happy with the SEC graduate (UK) taking the Tigers to the SEC. How are those who actually believed they were going to compete in that meat grinder going to feel about him when, without 30 Texans on the roster, they have to hear , "Hey Tigers, Hey Tigers, We just beat the hell out of you, Rammer Jammer Yellowhammer, Give 'em hell Alabama!, Roll Tide Roll!" The Ags will be OK. They just have to live in reality, not the fake superior attitude that is their birthmark. The SEC is what it is. I'll take those people any time in a fire-fight than the namby pamby intellectual cowards who are destroying the greatest country in history. ________ BL: Mizzou will compete in obscurity vs KY, Vandy, Ole Miss, Miss State for table scraps.... :-( .
	9/10/2012 8:10:55 PM

	oldwuf vet
	Oh my, what have Mizzou and A&M gotten themselves into? I remember the howling of some of the knucklehead board monkeys last winter; probably when the Little Johnny's Bball refs were conspiring against us. They were begging Frau Yow to petition the SECfor membership. I guess I don't really care what some jock analyst on ESPN thinks about the university where I earned my degrees. I'm happy with occasionally spending a Saturday afternoon with selected good friends and food watching them play. _______ BL: That strategy sure works for me. Spread the word. .
	9/10/2012 1:17:02 PM

	58 Wolf Kennel
	BL, you are going to have trouble topping yourself each week with thoughts, fingers, and voice. Couldn't listen to your pre-game while fightin' Time-Warner on their lousy ESPN3 TV coverage of the State-Conn game. All my old friends at LG&E (Louisville Gas & Electric) are waiting for this weekend and the Fidgeting Fedorians. ________ BL: NEVER NEVER gonna run outta column / show fodder. .
	9/10/2012 11:59:40 AM

	DrJay
	Not to belittle Elon, but I think we all agree that game was a serious mismatch. And I know Fedora didn't have anything to do with scheduling them. But I do hope we will step up the level of non-conference competition. That Elon game may have sent our team against Wake Forest with an unrealistic assessment of itself. One big step in getting better is playing better competition. _______ BL: I hear Savannah State is looking for a game next Fall. Nothing wrong with one cupcake but everything in moderation. .
	9/10/2012 10:08:47 AM

	NCSU68Grad
	Interesting column....could have been written about the unfortunate events on the fateful Friday night prior to last Labor Day frivolities when a contiguous state rivalry turned UGLY. Twas a little better this past weekend, but the RED BM's are calling for an uprising and telling Frau Yow to vanquish TOB from the kingdom (or maybe it was DOME) and to find a new leader for the Fab 11 wearing the STATE logo's. But, it was a W. I agree with your comments about a nice young man, whom you are aquainted with his parents, NOT winning in Richmond. Karl was focused, but focus (isn't that a Ford product) was not enough. However, in the Good Guys WIN BIG category, the race was a real thriller....after the delay. I have been a Jeff Gordon fan for many years as he does it right and is sort of the Eagle Scout of NASCAR. He pulled it out, probably with a little help from his friends, and LOW AND BEHOLD, the obnoxious kid who throws temper tantrums done been eliminated. As my wife said....Jeff Wins; State Wins; Carolina Loses.....God was in full control! ....... ________ BL: Ya think UNC lost because the Dems "booed God" earlier in the week? Could be! :-) .
	9/10/2012 9:27:23 AM

	YogiNC
	Morning Bobby, lot's of coffee spitters in this one! My Flavor Fave was "and Georgia fans are considered “kinda laidback” by SEC standards". Living in southern GA for a couple a years taught me that. That bunch can't even say "here". It comes out hiiiiyah (you'd have to hear it to appreciate it). I'm pretty sure there are no Jimma Carter yard signs left although they could have taken about 100 old ties, painted them white, and buried then halfway down and the Dawgs would have felt right at home. Quote overheard by someone actually doing the tire thing "Now they have to be in a straight line and buried evenly, we don't want this to look tacky". I kid you not Bobby, I actually heard that in southern GA. I had NO idea where you were going with the ABWFer but is early monday morning and I haven't had my cup of java yet. Have a great day! ________ BL: No body HATES Wake Forest. All the other schools have some detractors... not little WFU. ,
	9/10/2012 8:59:49 AM

	nctravellinman
	No doubt Coach Red Bull will provide entertainment both on and off the field this year. I'm surprised he has stuck with the Duke Blue uniforms & visor. Has anyone not spoken to him about that yet? With TOB, it's wash, rinse, repeat. After seeing the train wreck in Chapel Hill, not so sure that mediocrity is so bad after all. _______ BL: Compared to Butcher, Larry is awash in C-blue. .
	9/10/2012 8:27:02 AM

	MarianTheLibrarian
	Charles Dickens, Charles Schultz AND Larry Munson in the same column. My literary cup runneth over. All that was missing was some Larry McMurtry. ___________ BL: "It was a helluva party, Woodrow." .
	9/10/2012 7:34:29 AM

	TL
	"Fightin' Fedorians" ?? Can we assume you have already copyrighted that one? _______ BL: It's "pending" .
	9/10/2012 7:27:14 AM

	BooneCountyBob
	Dude, you have become an instant legend in Mid Missouri. Harpo's and Shakespeare's printed this out and hand it out with menus. You Rock BobLee! _________ BL: Big Jim Sterling & Carl Edwards are "legends". I am but a humble Internet provocateur with a magic keyboard. .
	9/9/2012 5:50:28 PM