So Donald Trump said to Lady Astor…

Churchill Lady Astor
Agent Pierce
June30/ 2017

So Donald Trump said to Lady Astor…  may be THE CLEVEREST column title in the long politically incorrect history of this commentarium.  For the very very few of you’ans who “get it”.

AgentPierce

If you “get it” you are in a wonderfully unique “maybe 3%” who escaped public education in America before it was hijacked by The Rabid American Left.

If you are a millennial or, worse still, a “snowflake” you don’t “get it”. Oh, and how’s that degree in Useless Navel-gazing working out for you? Being 30-ish living in mom & dad’s basement WAS “your dream job” wasn’t it? Being a bar-back at Starbucks when you’re 40 is going to be fun too. Moving right along…Churchill

His name was Winston Churchill. Sir Winston to be correct. Sir Winston is remembered for TWO things.

1) He led England during the early days of WW2… and the horrors of the V-2 Blitzes. Without his stalwart leadership, England would have fallen to Hitler and quite possibly other countries across The Atlantic would have too. Thank you Sir Winston.

2) He, Winston, supposedly had numerous verbal sparring matches with a certain acerbic “Lady Astor”. His retorts to her place Churchill in the rarified air of WC Fields, Groucho Marx and now our very own Donald J. Trump.

Two of Sir Winston’s most oft-quoted comebacks are:

Lady Astor: Mr. Churchill, if I were your wife, I would put poison in your coffee..
Sir Winston: Madam, if you were my wife, I would gladly drink it.

Lady Astor: Mr Churchill, you sir are drunk.
Sir Winston: Yes, I am. And you are ugly. Tomorrow morning however I shall be sober… and you, madam, will still be ugly.

Donald J. Trump, still in his First 200 Days, already being compared to Sir Winston Churchill for “snappy retorts”. Pretty freakin’ cool IMO.

I try to avoid Facebook for the same reasons I don’t swallow thumbtacks or gargle Drano. I know better. No offense intended to those who are losing aged parents or pets or, even worse, “losing liberal friends over politics”.

When I read endless accounts of “losing liberal friends over politics” my rhetorical response is ALWAYS….

So… Are you bragging or complaining?

If you are “complaining”, I have probably UNFRIENDED you. You do know when you UNFRIEND someone THEY NEVER KNOW IT.  They do NOT get a notice saying:

“That guy/gal you knew 30 years ago in high school is now a redneck retard who loves Donald Trump and has UNFRIENDED you because your awesome liberal intellect was too much for them to endure.”

They do NOT get that notice.

UNFRIEND those rabid liberal sumbitches NOW. It is even easier than unsubscribing to that rabid liberal newspaper and deleting CNN from your Cable Favorites. Both of those are incredibly easy too.

Where was I? Oh yeah… all the whining today about Donald J. Trump bitch-slapping poor poor poor Mika Whatsheface on that MSCNABCNN whatever network that “your liberal friends” swear by.

“I want my president to act Presidential” !! HOLY CRAP !! What planet do you live on?

The last president to “act Presidential” was James K. Polk in 1849. “James K” did a lot of really neat things in his four years as James K.PolkPOTUS. Particularly involving manifest destinying The American West.

Polk campaigned on a promise to only serve one term. He did what he promised (WOW!), leaving office in March 1849. He died three months later of cholera contracted from bad jambalaya while visiting New Orleans. For his four years he “acted Presidential”.

Yeah sure; but they didn’t have Twitter in 1849. Touche.

Would I have bitch-slapped Mika Whatsherface via Twitter like DJ Trump did? Probably not.

Of course, if Donald J Trump had taken my advice… and probably yours last summer, Hillary Clinton would have won in a landslide in November.

Heterosexuality would be outlawed along with all forms of Christian religion… Hillary would have been declared Queen For Life. .. and “Bully” Barber’s picture would probably be on the dollar bill.

Instead we have Donald J. Trump refusing to take crap from media dip***ts.

You and I would have advised Donald to behave like all the Repub LOSERS who preceded him… kiss up to the Rabid American Left Media while they “ripped him a new one” 24/7.

Bob Dole… John McCain… Mitt Romney… (Donald Trump)! Now that is a motley club of LOSERS to aspire for membership with.

What about George W. Bush? Poor ol’ “W”. The highlight of that trainwreck was him wearing a flight suit on the deck of that aircraft carrier pointing to the Mission Accomplished banner. I recall thinking at the time… “Not sure I’d a done that George. There’s still a few bazillion of those insane ragheads out there”.

I am sure Donald Trump will be doing A LOT more “Trump stuff” that you don’t consider “presidential”.  I sure as Hell hope so.

###Bloody Mika

A new cocktail is being served at The White House Sunday Brunch?

The Bloody Mika… tomato juice, sour grapes and a celery stalk.

I bet Lady Astor would love it.

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  • Radio_Smuggles Reply
    3 weeks ago

    Wanna piss off a liberal. Next time one gets offended by DT (it’ll be in the next nano-second) and says something should be done about him. Remind them they’ve been saying & doing the same things since way before the election and to please keep saying it and doing what they’ve been doing at least through 2020 or 2024. It’s OK to say the same thing to your favorite RINO or other fake Republicans too.

    • Agent Pierce Reply
      3 weeks ago

      Libs are in a permanent state of “pissed-off”. They come out of the womb with concrete colons. Must be a tough life.

      • Radio_Smuggles Reply
        3 weeks ago

        I’m told that with suitable therapy, a liberal can lead an almost normal life.

        On the serious side. DT’s Tweets are propping up some careers of floundering journalists, politicians, and others. Why? On the flip side I suppose it’s also helping his according to whatever calculus he or his aides have determined. I sometimes wonder if it is actually him pressing the keyboard on some of this stuff.

        • Agent Pierce Reply
          3 weeks ago

          Even among the most loyal Pro-Trumpers there is disagreement re: the wisdom of his tweeting. I would not “do it like he does it”. But he was his GENIUS that got himself elected by acting like no politician EVER acts. Ergo.. who has the “cred” to tell him not to wage these Tweet wars. YES… he makes mini-martyrs out of blow-dried dip-sh*ts when he bombs them.
          .
          As to “does he write his own material” – Yes, I believe he does. I could give him much “cleverer” material if he asked him. 🙂

  • NCSU68Grad Reply
    3 weeks ago

    Perfectly loverley…..and Rain and Spain and Plain weren’t even mentioned. Second Churchill Quote today….
    .
    With all the hoopla over reporters feeling “threatened”, I think that the Reporters vs Democratic Congresspeople games should begin. They could (NON PC ZINGER COMING) use the same rules as the Special Olympics….as in they are about a mentally challenged, though disingenious, as the folks that participate in them. They would ALL have to wear RED. The Marque outfront would read….
    .
    Trump Supporters versus Trump Deplorable Members of Congress. Let the crazy Leftist come packing AR-15’s and Desert Eagles (ref the idiotic SHOOT ME YouTube Stunt). Then let the swat teams descend from the Black Opps Copters and the heat seeking laser sighted sniper rifles begin the barrage.
    .
    I, like many of your regulars did NOT think that DJT was going to wake up the on November 9 stone cold sober with the press ODing on Zoloft. HRC is said to have been given an IV of 100 proof Vodka (US of COURSE) and liquid Zoloft or Oxywhatever (sent over special delivery from Rush).
    .
    Now….should he tweet….probably not as much as he does….but it SURE drives them crazy….and then they “INVENT” thingies.
    .
    I am closely following Jane Saunders and her “I did NOT falsify that College Loan Application”. Janey, NOW, is the head of some touchie, feelie organization paying her a high 6 figure income for her “Managerial” talent. Megg Scott Phipps and Martha Stewart want to know how to get in on the Ground Floor of THIS career enhancing opportunity.
    End Of Rant….good column….Trump ain’t going nowhere and all the “President Pence” folks should actually read about HIS convictions. He makes Trump look like a pussycat Liberal….BTW….the Rain in Maine stays Mainely following my Ar$e…..wonder if Lady A or Liza D can handle that line?

    • Agent Pierce Reply
      3 weeks ago

      IF POTUS Donald could manage to “drain the swamp” the population inside the Beltway would rival Jones County.

      • Down East Heel Reply
        3 weeks ago

        I nominate the Jones County line as my of your top 10 all time. I want to point out Jones County has a redeeming quality that D.C. does not. It is on the way the da beach.

        I still do not know what DJT tweeted to or about Mika Whatshername and I really don’t care. Good column….again.

        One more thing – if Bully Barber’s picture had been placed on dollar bills they would have had to make the bills bigger.

        • Agent Pierce Reply
          3 weeks ago

          Doing Jones County jokes is too easy. Who is going to complain? Really, Who?

  • Sue Frye Reply
    3 weeks ago

    Best one yet….

    • BobLee Reply
      3 weeks ago

      Glad you like it. I’ll never run out of column fodder with POTUS Donald! 🙂

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