It’s All Just Show Prep!

    BobLee
    January16/ 2000

    …. Among my fellow Provocateurs we have a motto “It’s all just show prep”.  What you see as Humanity going to Hell in a handbasket we see as “show prep” (aka “column fodder”).  Folks are forever asking me “BobLee, how are you doing?” fretting that I probably bear the weight of all human absurdum on my shoulders.  Ayn Rand’s Atlas would shrug under THAT burden these days. ….. and …. one of my “high maintenance pals” steps in IT again.

    I sure can pick’em, huh.  I’m not talking about Rick’s gin joint in Casablanca but rather all the troublemaking, headline grabbing dudes that I take under my wing and label “BobLee Buddy”.  I am  forever needling my pals that “_____, you beat all you know that!”

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       This Column was first posted Sunday Night ….. within 24 hours Chancellor Thorp had resolved the issue by finding new advisors for the YWC organization.  BobLee Buddies KICK BUTT !!!

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    WHOA …. WAIT A MINUTE ….. Q: BobLee is there ANY significance to that adorable baby picture and anything in this column?  ….. A:  No.  None whatsoever.

    A local highfalutin’ media honcho called me Friday.  In getting my take on the issues of the day, he noted that one of my “high maintenance” pals was developing a “thin skin”.  “A THIN SKIN” !!  “HELLFIRE” I replied, “you and you ink-stained acolytes have been Bravehearting the SOB 24/7 for six months”.  He admitted the fact that my high profile pal can still fog a mirror is a tribute to the sand in his gizzard.

    Today the BL Buddy being pilloried is TPYC – “The Popular Young Chancellor” – Holden Thorp.  Between Holden and his up-line UNC poobah, Skippa’s Boy; I feel like a one-armed paperhangar.  If it ain’t one of dem boys on the hot seat it’s the other one.

    Most recently (Friday!) TPYC had to uncertify a controversial faculty adviser of a controversial campus organization.  Without a certified faculty adviser the group becomes temporarily uncertified.  Oh, did I mention it’s a “RIGHT WING “ organization.

    According to their quite vocal sworn enemies, Carrboro Maggots R Us and Che Guevarra Lives, the group Youth for Western Civilization (YWC) are the bastard love children of the KKK and AryanNation.  In “truth” (yikes, THAT word) the YWC is a dozen Junior Rotarians who decided to offer their fellow students a “something to join” that didn’t involve sacrificing a live billy goat or having to sign over their trust fund to ACORN.  Not unreasonable except in the ideological Purgatory known as “The Southern Part Of Heaven If We believed in Heaven which most locals are far too pseudo-intellectual to do ….” 

    Oh, did I mention that YWC was the organization that brought Tom Tancredo on campus last Spring.  OH NO ….. bring a US Congressman to speak on a college campus!!!  The INHUMANITY & OUTRAGE of it all.  Before you could say “Hizzy Fit”, the local hard-wired anarchists made “Tancredo” the newest “T word” on campus rather than “Tyler”.   When the smoke cleared a window was broken, pepper was sprayed, Tancredo was apologized to by Holden and Erskine ….. and dear sweet Little Miss Morehead – Haley Koch had become UNC’s Patty Herst with her own Symbionese Liberation Army over in Carrboro. …… just another Spring picnic around the old campi.

    Sidwell Friend Haley and her fellow scruffy unwashed anarchists were charged with being “scruffy” “unwashed” and “anarchists”.  Last week a leftwing lovin’ jurist decided “scruffy unwashed and anarchists” were not crimes at least not in Orange County.  That was fortunate as incarcerating 97% of Orange Countians woulda posed a problem.  Carrboro is not known as “Gitmo For Libs” for nothing.  Haley was the only actual UNC student on trial.  Her associates are all professional full-time scruffy unwashed anarchists (and part-time street mimes).

    It’s worth noting that neither Carrboro Maggots R Us nor Che Guevarra Lives are UNC-sanctioned organizations but ARE the two largest “civic clubs” in Carrboro.

    So the anarchists set out to do what anarchists do best …… get favorable attention from fawning mainstream media while creating havoc for a dozen Junior Rotarians who wanted to hear a US Congressman.  “They” also launched an intimidation plan against a guy named Cramer who had agreed to be the faculty sponsor so the YWC could invite US Congressmen to speak at UNC.  Any similarity between this guy Cramer and your strange Uncle Morty is uncanny, isn’t it?

    Did the anarchists know that Professor Cramer was a genetic combo of Professor Irwin Corey and Cosmo C(K)ramer?  His first name might be “Cosmo”.  First thing ya know, Cramer sends out an e-mail blast containing the words ….. “protect myself ….. good shot …. and my Colt 45.”  He actually sends that e-mail to The N&O ….. to Chancellor Thorp ….. and to “Patty Hearst” Haley.  I’m hurt I wasn’t on his e-list.

    Memo to Self:   Modern day college administrators get jervous and nerky when they get e-mails from loonies mentioning powerful handguns and their ability to use them effectively.  Think Krazy Korean Kid up in Blacksburg a few years ago.

    Whenever TPYC and I meet for lunch at Sutton’s I always leave my Walther PPK in the F-150.  Which usually makes me the only guy in Sutton’s wearing a beard ….. and an empty shoulder holster.

    The tenure of “Crazy Cramer The Colt-toter” as a faculty adviser was short-lived.  Now the Junior Rotarians are temporarily sponsor-less.  With Holden’s help that should be resolved soon and US Congressmen welcomed once again at the state-supported institution.  Meanwhile the scruffy Carrboro anarchists / street mimes are celebrating their “gotcha” of Crazy Cramer & The Junior Rotarians ….. and my pal Holden is getting some really “colorful” e-mails from every hard-core UNC-CH hater on the Eastern Seaboard. …..

    UPDATE:  New Advisers have been found due to Holden’s personal involvement …. YWC will be reinstated ASAP.

    Being “the only responsible adult” on a campus of 40,000 students, faculty nitwits and union housekeepers keeps Holden Thorp quite busy.   Herding these crazy cats is MUCH harder than solving Rubik’s Cube wearing oven mitts I think.

    Look, I’m not saying Holden Thorp is lifting the ban on AM radios on campus or permitting FoxNews on campus cablevision (BTW: I’m working on both!) but I am saying the dude is “Fair” and that’s FAR beyond his predecessors.

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    Haley went to Sidwell Friends in DC.
    Name a few other notorious Sidwell Friends Families

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    I met three ECU couples Saturday.  All were quite nice fine folks.  I betcha a high % of’em were.  I like UNC playing ECU.  I think we should more often.  UNC beats UCONN and ECU, two “good but not real good” teams ….  Over the past 10-12 years UNC woulda lost to one or both.  That’s improvement in my book.

    Before overly-caffeinated UNCers start booking BCS hotel rooms, be advised “we” have NO 3rd string O-Line and only half of a 2nd string O-Line.  With eight games left and only one gimmee among’em, Butch is scouring campus for “any big’un that can take up space”.

    Some of you might be worried that BobLee is getting soft on the UNC crowd.  No fear buddies and babes.  Holden and Ol’ Roy are the only ones over there I’d stop to pick up if they were hitchiking in a hurricane.  OK, a coupla fellas in the Ath Dept and an old orthopedist too.  But, it’s a REAL short list.

    ALERT !!! ….. MUST WATCH ….. ALERT !!!

    Castle ….  ABC – Mon …. 10 PM

    BobLee

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