YOWsa YOWsa Debbie Wins The Lottery!

    BobLee
    July15/ 2000

    I’m driving home from our BB4J meeting when my iPhone blares out Wabash Cannonball – “BobLee here.” –  “BobLee, this is LeBron.” – “Whats up King?” – “Bro I need Debbie Yow’s agent.  The deal she got from NC State is better than Albert Haynesworth’s bank-breaker with the Redskins”.  …… LeBron was impressed.  I’m not sure impressed is quite the word I’d use.  

    I’ve never met Brand New Chancellor Randy Woodson at NC State.  I’ve heard really good reports on him from my UNC system pals.  They say he is the sharpest fella to come out of Northern Indiana since Orville Redenbacher. …. Lord Luv A Duck. The 2nd sharpest must have been a hockey puck.

    Since John Caldwell left in the 60s, all the progress and achievements that NC State has managed, have pretty much been in spite of a series of Chancellor draft choices

    ….only the Clippers would envy.

    that only the LA Clippers would envy.  When your name is on a list with Bruce Poulton and James “Sgt Schultz” Oblinger it’s NOT a short list for any College Administrator Hall of Fame …. not hardly.

    I had high hopes for Randy From Purdue.  Based on his first high profile executive hire, his next pick for Provost could be a humdinger.   It’s between “that BP guy” and Blago.  Coach K got off to a bad start too ….. maybe Randy can bounce back.  I hope so.

    I’ve never met Debbie Yow.  I knew of her of course.  I’ve learned A LOT more about her in these last two weeks.  The only one tootin’ Debbie’s horn has been Dave Glenn and we all know that details aren’t important to DG.  Obviously.

    Debbie Yow had not made her first wuff finger thing before my e-mail box was filling up with a series of “This IS a joke, right?”  Every college admin contact I have on the Eastern Seaboard was flabbergasted.  “This can’t be THE Debbie Yow from Maryland, can it?” was the basic theme.  Debbie Yow is as popular within the college AD community as an NCAA recruiting investigator showing up unannounced.

    I’m not going into the chapters and verses I’ve heard about Madame Yow’s operating style and her collection of castration knives.  I’m not even going into Chancy Randy offering her the job during her one interview.

    In 1976 I interviewed Nancy Fagan to be my personal secretary.  Nancy was a dead ringer for Linda “Wonder Woman” Carter.  She had the job “before she said hello” …. as soon as I got a wiff of White Shoulders ….. but DAGGONE …. I waited until the next day to tell her.  I guess that’s not how they did it at Purdue.

    Was Debbie Yow wearing White Shoulders?

    The one-liners and quite tasteless jokes I’ve received about Madame Yow over the past week suddenly took a backseat to Debbie’s Deal.    HOLY MOLY ….. I know why LeBron wants Debbie’s agent to rep him.

    I’m going to send you to Jim Pomeranz’s blog for the specifics.  Pomerantz knows EVERYTHING about NC State.  He can tell the difference between Cozell McQueen and Lorenzo Charles – Lo & Co.  The link to Jim’s site is below.

    If every single NC State athletic team loses every contest for the next five years… Debbie gets $350,000/year.  Even if State’s vaunted bass fishing team does not get a nibble for five years – Debbie gets $350,000/year.

    If every NC State coach and athlete is revealed to be Islamic Terrorist selling crack to kindergarteners – Debbie gets $350,000/year.

    If every bottom-feeding WuffLoon throws live hand grenades at opposing players in the RBC – Debbie gets $350,000/year.

    None of the above calamities are likely EXCEPT for that hand grenade part.

    In addition to a guaranteed salary that puts Madame Yow at/very near the top of all ADs in North America, Randy further loaded this bankbreaking deal with additional cash incentives for anything including (1) getting to work on time …… (2) staying awake in staff meetings ….. (3) learning the correct spelling of O’Brien …… (4) knowing why the letter “V” is significant to State fans.

    Page 7, paragraph 3 pays Debbie $5 every time she does that wuff finger thing.

    The $350,000/year is due Madame Yow just for taking the job.  If she accomplishes ANYTHING at all from Day One she gets paid extra.  Kwame Brown’s deal wasn’t THAT good.

    The much maligned Lee Fowler was paid $280,000. Did he receive a bonus for really really upsetting the rank/file fans?  If he did, he earned it.

    Go to Pomeranz’s site CLICK HERE …… Folks, I’m not kidding about this.  NOTE:  Look in his Archives for “Yow Incentives….”

    Somewhere Queen Mary Easley is grinnin’ like a polecat …… “and they thought my piddly $180,000 was an outrage.”  Even goofy McQueen would not have struck a deal THIS silly.

    I bet Chancy Randy will bounce back from this auspicious beginning.  He’ll figure it out. I don’t have a dog or a dollar in this fight.  But I have an opinion.

    ****

    Whatever issues there may be with NC State & Debbie Yow ….. it’s nothing compared to UGa and their AD.  When your married AD is arrested on a DUI with a pair of  “red panties between his legs” and his new girlfriend by his side …. it gives new meaning to being “in the dawghouse”.

    BobLee

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