A Boy, A Rock and a ….. .

    BobLee
    March28/ 2008

    A boy, a rock and a plate glass window leads to a very predictable outcome.  So too is so much of life and human nature.   BobLee updates, ruminates, and pontificates on a soupcon of silly but true issues of the day.  ….. oh, and ON TO SAN ANTONIO !! 

        Sat. 3/29/08   

    UNC – 2 …. Louisville – 0

    Roy’s Boys & Sylvia’s Girls Advance

        Aye Zigga Zoomba

    Tyler vs Louisville was simply INCREDIBLE.  Had that been the NatChamp game it would have been on a par with Vince Young vs USC.  All that was different was the size of the stage.  “A true star shines brightest in the largest firmament”.

    Your gracious kudos were numerous on the Danny – More Than A Dentist column.  Now a celebrity as a result, Danny has asked wife Anne for permission to grow a beard and act funky.

    If reincarnation is an option, I wanna be either Troy Tulowitzki or Jacoby Ellsbury.  Both are Major League Baseball “young guns”.  Living the dream of playin’ ball in the big leagues.

    A number of you come here and enjoy yourselves enough to keep returning …. but don’t really “get” a lot of what gets printed here.  I’ve got to be better at ‘splaining stuff.  For instance, I refer to a certain person as “Sportin’ Life”.  Who ??? …..  Sportin’ Life is a character in Porgy & Bess, a classic George Gershwin Broadway musical from the 30s.  It was an all-black cast and involved life in the urban south – Charleston.  Sportin’ Life is a jazz-boin’ pimpifyin’ flimflammer.  His song solo was “It Ain’t Necessarily So”.  Appropriate, huh?

    Reading BobLeeSays for a year is guaranteed to increase your possible Jeopardy winnings by $10,000.

    >>><<<

    Sometimes …. Don’t you just hate to be right?

    There was a science experiment back in the 6th grade involving putting household chemicals on lumps of coal and after a few days those chemicals reacted and multi-colored crystals grew on the coal.  That’s pretty much what I figured would happen in the aftermath of Tragedy de Eve (& Apu) in Chapel Hill.

    Once the official vigilizing and memorializing was over there would be a dormant period of a week or so; then the creepy-crawlies would start creeping and crawling.  Chapel Hill leads the planet in creepy crawlies on a per capita basis.

    With Chapel Hill just a long par 5 from Derm and adding an “incident” with “racial overtones” you have the boy, the rock and the plate glass window.  Pretty soon you’ll have a pile of broken glass.  Count on it.

    Go back in these archives, your Nostradamus of The Internet was on-point AGAIN.

    I predicted ….. (1) the Derm judicial bureaucracy had pissed in the punch bowl somehow – yep. ….. (2) the Chapel Hill loonies would choose GUN CONTROL as the cause de jour – yep. …. (3) those lovable “hate all colored folks” cretins would crawl out from under their rock – yep.

    You know by now that Butch & Sundance of the Derm Gangbangers had bobbed and weaved their way thru “the system” aided and abetted by a negligent parole officer with a criminal record (only in Derm!) who flat out lied about checking on them.  Nothing much surprises me about Hell’s Kitchen On The Eno. …. But I’m sure Butch & Sundance were the ONLY hard-core cold-bloodied killers wandering the streets of Derm due to abject bureaucratic incompetence …. Yeah RIGHT.  And Wojo is on the short list to be the next UNC Chancellor too.

    Meanwhile over in “Oz” the munchkins are munching.  It did not take my N&O buddy Ruth Sheehan long to find a bleeding heart-type to “go on the record” with this little bon bon ….

    “If these criminals hadn’t had guns, this wouldn’t have happened,”.

    Quote by Lisa with the Orange County chapter of Ribbonwearers R Us; a wholly-owned subsidiary of Bug-eyed Activists For You-Name-It Ltd.  Lisa revealed her total ignorance of cold-bloodied killers.  Just shut down Smith&Wesson and we can all get along.  We will no doubt hear more from this faction.   First guns, then knives, then iron pipes, then ball bats …. Stop The Madness!

    More meanwhile ….. a doltish UNC student named Brian Sharpe reported he was assaulted and robbed at 3:00 AM Friday near the Wilson Round Library which is neither in Wilson nor round.  Which is OK because Brian wasn’t really assaulted or robbed.  He made it up in a bit of reverse Crystal Gale Mangum-izing.  His scam was discovered BEFORE he could be referred to as “an honor student and single father of two”.

    Brian described his faux assailant as “a young black man wearing a hooded sweatshirt …. medium height, medium weight and maybe a scar on his face.”  Thereby narrowing the list of fictitious suspects to every young black guy except Erkel and Manute Bol.

    It did give the regional media a chance to test their revised “do-rag rule”.  Remember this one.  Back in the “Melanie Sill Era”, the N&O decreed that crime prevention was secondary to extreme political correctness so race and skin-color were not factors in apprehending thugs and hoodlums.  To circumvent this, crime beat reporters would include “wearing a do-rag or a hoodie” or “reeking of malt liquor”.

    John Drescher’s N&O abolished this silliness.  Over at WRAL old habits die hard.  Crime suspects are still only grouped by gender, species and brand of jeans.

    For embarrassing UNC alumni around the world, the doltish Mr. Sharpe has been sentenced to 30 hours of watching BET and writing a paper on Jeremiah – The Bullfrog & The Racist Reverend.

    >>><<<

    You know you’ve gotten old when …… your daughter spends a week in Boston and declares she wants her first real job to be “in a big city”.  So you say “like in the Mary Tyler Moore Show.” ….. and she replies “Who?” ……… and she visits the original Cheers bar and says “What’s Cheers?” ……

    Dad to Kid: “… makin’ your way in the world today takes everything you’ve got ….. but you’re gonna’ make it after all.”

    >>><<<

    A contest was held for Most Embarrassing Governor In America.  49 yahoos tied for first place.  One, Alaska has a very good (and pretty) one.  Between whoring and stealing and corrupting and scallywagging and general duffusing ….. “Governor” has now passed “war lord”, “crime boss”, and “Hillary’s proctologist” as least used “Hey good lookin’, I’m a ____” pick-up lines at Hooters.

    The end of our Missing Mike Easley’s Reign of Inconspicuous Incompetence nears.  They call him the Cicada Governor.  He went dormant for eight years.  If Nero fiddled while Rome burned ….. Mike Easley’s hid in the basement of the Governor’s Mansion with his jigsaw, rotary sander and Woodwright CDs while the state endured eight years of unparalled political corruption.

    A Democratic Governor SO PATHETIC THAT even the N&O disemboweled the cowardly cur and hung him out to dry.

    Led by Easley BFFs Jimbo The Weasel, Don The Cryptkeeper Beason, and those rascally Do-Rag Caucus clowns, The Old North State has fought hard to become synonymous with crooked politicos.  But Louisiana, Illinois, Kentucky, New Jersey and New York simply have too much experience in such matters.  North Carolina made The Sweet Sixteen but not the Final Four of most corrupt states.  There’s always “the next governor” to give it a try.  Bev “Baby Dumpling” Perdue shows real promise in clueless governing potential.

    The list of “what Mike Easley did as Governor” includes “wrecked a stock car during a NASCAR photo op”.  and …. and …. and did we mention the NASCAR thing?  Somewhat related, Easley’s NCDOT did redefine bureaucratic bumbling.  Their roads to nowhere, cronyism and weekly “oops, we screwed up AGAIN” announcements became classic.

    As an appropriate finale to the Easley Era, he is now embroiled in an embarrassing mess (is there another kind?) over rampant screw-ups in the state’s mental health administration.  Mike’s folks were told to delete e-mail records that might lead to incriminating Mike.  Like Bill Clinton telling interns to get their dresses dry cleaned after every Oval Office romp.  Destroying such public records is ….. whats that word? …. Oh yeah, ILLEGAL.  So Mike appointed “a study commission” to study “e-mailing”.

    Mike appointed his Senior Advisor for Governmental Scandal Control, Franklin Freeman, to head the commission.  In vintage “you can’t make this stuff up” fashion, Chairman Franklin announced at the first meeting that “I don’t use e-mail or whatever it’s called.  I don’t even know how to cut my computer on ….”

    Say good night Gracie.

    >>><<<

    Where did Jacoby Ellsbury play college baseball?

    HINT:  God Loves’em too.

    >>><<<

    Dick Harp, that KU Coach in ’57, ended his long career as a special assistant for Ye Olde Legend in the late 80s.

    All the Democratic Celebs are stumping in NC this weekend.  No “sniper fire” has been reported on the tarmac …… yet.

     

    BobLee

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