Swift Boating Pussy Galore!

    BobLee
    October20/ 2008

    “Grab the smelling salts Granpa. …. Granma just got ‘da vapors’.”  Honor Blackman, John Kerry, Krzyzewski, Hillary, Tyler, Dubya, Limbaugh, Amato, and the Wake County Public School System.  Everybody knows “the truth” about them.  Right?  You and I know what is “appropriate” because we have “common sense” but what about Susie The Self-righteous Intern at your local newspaper or your local TV station?  Uh oh!  ACHTUNG!

     “Acceptable and Appropriate” ??

    Her name still launches a 1,000,000 giggles.  Does Honor Blackman’s unforgettable character in Goldfinger offend you?  If I said “that name” to a room full of small town Chamber of Commerce members, would it be “Acceptable”?   Trust me.  I know that answer!

    Do you define “swift boating” as EXPOSING a pack o’lies about a controversial politician ….. or FABRICATING a pack o’ lies about a controversial politician?  While we wait for John Kerry to release his military records, the definition of “swift-boating” is left to partisan preference.  Since I determine ACCEPTABLE around here, we will go with the former, not the latter, definition.  NOTE how I arbitrarily did that …. Because I can.nostradamus_feature

    I saw this coming before many of you did.  But I was Cassandraed rather than given my due respect in the Nostradamus wing of the Incredibly Accurate I Told You So Hall of Humble American Legends.

    Whether you be a BLSays newbee or a battle-hardened veteran going back the eight+ years of this Cyber Odyssey ….. you might have noticed that I “occasionally” express concern about anonymous internet blatherings by pimply-faced punks and 45 year/old Little League right-fielders.  That lunatic strain of nitwit killer bees has now invaded America’s mainstream media.

    But not to worry.   Broad-minded Solomons are on duty 24/7 to determine what comments are APPROPRIATE and ACCEPTABLE.  Feel better now?  The grandsons of Uncle Walter Cronkite, the next generations of Perky Katies, and a nerd intern assigned to fetch coffee for arrogant op/ed piss-ants are honing their black arts as administrators of reader comment forums on your local on-line newspaper and electronic media outlets.

    The accountants at your local fishwrapper have wised up (sort of) and developed Internet versions of their products.  Likewise the TV and radio stations wised up sort of too.

    Dead tree journalism (a/k/a that thing that used to hit your driveway at 6 AM that you “could not live without” thru the early 90s) is in its death gurgle.  Publishers are scrambling for other ways to (1) sell advertising and (2) sell more advertising.  Clever fellows like me learned how to do that way before they did.

    A quick lesson in newspaper economics ….. to a newspaper publisher, columnists, reporters and even sports writers et al are referred to as “reluctantly necessary overhead”.  Ad sales guys are referred to as “income producers”.   Ad rates are based on how many potential consumers (i.e. readers) see those ads.  Dwindling subscriptions mean dwindling ad rates.  Ergo Newspapers all now have on-line versions in order to reach enough consumers to sell enough ads to (1) pay the arrogant piss-ants (“overhead”) and (2) pay the publisher a high 6-figure bonus.

    6-8 years ago, newspapers CEOs thought their readers would pay to access those sites.  History records that a total of 37 people nation-wide did.  35 of whom were directly related to various writers.  File that strategy with the AMC Pacer and the new formula for Coke.  Now the on-line newspapers are all free access.

    They have view counters recording how many potential buyers of tires, houses, cemetery plots, and used cars might see your ad if you bought an ad.  If not enough on-line viewers actually do view their site, they simply exaggerate figuring advertisers will never know the difference.  They exaggerated subscription numbers for years so what the heck.

    Running Girls Gone Wild videos will be their eventual solution to spike viewer hits, but for now mainstream media sites are offering Reader Comments Forums with most of their stories.  WHOA BobLee that sounds like Message Boards.  Can’t fool you guys can I.

    The kooks who used to write Letters To The Editor are now spread all over the online edition following each story.  When they were confined to the LTTE section it was like keeping the blood-thirsty Apaches on the reservation.  Now they’re running loose!

    YEP, now the pimply-faced punks in their mamma’s basement and the 45 year/old Little League right fielders can expound in ALL CAPS on subjects far beyond Chuck Amato’s footwear, Mike Krzyzewski’s every spoken word, Dick Baddour’s (or Lee Fowler’s) worth as a human being, and which ballcap some semi-literate blue-chipper wore to the mall yesterday.  These founts of incredible insight have been turned loose on the health care crisis…. what the Constitution REALLY says…. the civil rights movement…. the American judicial system…. and such-and-such rumors about candidates for local, state and national elective offices.

     “Fear Not” say the representatives of these on-line news media sites.  “We have very strict codes of APPROPRIATE & ACCEPTABLE Rules of Reader Comments.  Post something “UNACCEPTABLE” and we will delete it ASAP.” 

    OH, OK.  Boy, I was worried there for a second, weren’t you?  Surely, we ALL agree on what’s ACCEPTABLE don’t we?   Pussy Galore ….. swift boating …. John McCain’s lobby lovers …. Barack’s choice of native costume …. etc.

    I’m a Caucasian Baby Boomer who spent twenty years hacking my way thru corporate jungles in six different states from sea to shining sea.  I live on a cul-de-sac.  I drive a pick-up truck.  I wear a beard but not socks.  I have no idea if Pretty Boy Floyd or Raymond Floyd were members of  Pink Floyd but my wife and I managed to raise one cat and one daughter who in 20 years has not been arrested or had an abortion or a tattoo (the cat nor the daughter).

    I could, if asked, determine what is ACCEPTABLE relative to the expressed thoughts and actions of myself and/or my neighbors.  And I do know pornography when I see it.  No one is asking me.

    The geeky idealistic intern hired to fetch coffee for arrogant piss-ants in the op/ed department now has the side task of determining what is ACCEPTABLE in the Reader Comment forums of the on-line edition.  Uh oh.  Another way to visualize this ….. those free “alternative newspapers” you find lying around coffee shops that seem targeted to “a certain angry fringe demographic“.   Your local high & mighty metro newspaper/TV is morphing into “that“.

    A long time BLS reader offered this analogy today: “Internet reader forums” (sports or otherwise) are the toilet stall walls of the new millennium.  Normal people don’t write on’em ….. but you do read them.  

    You are drawn to these on-line media Reader Forums for the same reason you rubberneck roadkill or don’t immediately hit the remote when a Girls Gone Wild commercial pops up on the plasma.  Reader Forums and Porn have a great deal in common.  You assume you can read/watch without it affecting your thoughts but you are wrong.  A batch of still warm chocolate chip cookies on the kitchen counter = A batch of rambling slander from an anonymous tortured halfwit following a news story.

    At some point in the process you forget that anonymous tortured halfwit is that same scary fellow you avoided eye contact with on the elevator last Thursday.  His high octane rant is part of the story itself.

    Is Chuck Amato really in the Mafia?  I read that “somewhere”.  Is Hillary a Saint or a Lesbian Legend?  Is Bush a TriLateralist?  Is Dickie a space alien?  Is Obama in the Taliban?  Are all Tar Heels “queer”?  I read all those “somewhere”.  Surely “they” wouldn’t print that if it wasn’t true …. Would they?

    Around these parts there is an on-going competition between the local public school system and North Carolina Dept of Transportation.  Which organization is the most totally incompetent and/or most arrogantly corrupt.  Mike Nifong is OVER-qualified to head up either bureaucracy.   Tar Heel and Wolfpack fans unite in their disrespect for both WCPSS and NCDOT.

    There was a brouhaha recently regarding a local high school teacher having an anti-Muslim speaker come to his class.  WCPSS now requires all classroom speakers to sign a form guaranteeing that they will be APPROPRIATE & ACCEPTABLE.  WCPSS is, of course, loaded to the gills with way way way Left-leaning loonies.  Speakers advocating evolution, global warming and abortion are ACCEPTABLE.  Contrary points of view ??  Don’t even bother filling out the form.  NOTE:  Refer to recent “marshmallow” column relative to “controlling public education”.

    Any time you see the terms APPROPRIATE & ACCEPTABLE remember that is determined by someone of indeterminable age and motive or life experience. You folks being of reasonably sound minds despite your differing opinions on sports, barbecue and even politics can see the problem here. Who gets to determine ACCEPTABLE?  

    Putting this back into the silly arena of bouncing balls …… Both CarolinaBlue.com and DukeBasketballReport.com have identical established policies of ACCEPTABLE …… BUT The ACCEPTABLE Truth about Mike Krzyzewski as allowed to be spewed forth on CarolinaBlue differs markedly from the ACCEPTABLE Truth lauded and allowed about the same man as found on DukeBasketballReport.  Same Man – different Acceptable Truth?

    The owners of sports fan forums know their market is the goggle-eyed nitwit faction.  They play to that base level intellect.  Sports sites were actually created to handle out-patients from insane asylums.

    Major newspapers and TV stations prefer to think their readers have opposable thumbs and don’t put their tongues on frozen flagpoles.  A quick perusal of their Reader Forums indicates otherwise.  The news/politics specie of “angry board monkeys” has discovered these new play pens.

    The quality of angry board monkey is not elevating.  The level of public debate is simply deteriorating further into the gutter.  Anonymous Opinions Without Consequences …… except of course for the individuals and organizations who are slandered ruthlessly in these forums so long as the appointed censor happens to agree with that anonymous slandering opinion.

    If you think limiting media access only to those with ACCEPTABLE Opinions sounds like Germany in the late 30s …… ACHTUNG!

    >>><<<

    Are you thinking ….. hasn’t BobLee described THIS WEBSITE in the above?  Fair question.  BIG DIFFERENCE ….. The only reason to visit here is to read whatever I feel like commenting on.  No pretense …. no illusions.  Don’t care to read it then go somewhere else.  You have invited me in.  There is only one item on the menu – ME.    

    BobLee

    Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

    You may use these HTML tags and attributes: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <s> <strike> <strong>

    This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.