Playing The “War On ____” Game

    Agent Pierce
    April29/ 2012

    Get Your Programs Here !! Ya Can’t Tell Your Latest “War On” Without A Program !! Is there any micro-niche in America that has not declared itself being “Warred upon” by the eeeeevil Republicans….. as labeled by Obama and his media sycophants. If your faux-aggrieved mini-subset hasn’t submitted your Declaration of Be-Wared yet, you better get a move on.

    When those inscrutable mind-benders designing the Lib/Dem agenda come up with a template that resonates with the dead-eyed lemming they flat wear the sucka out. Case in point – their current “War On _______” craze.

    “War On ______” is becoming such a well-used pop-phrase it MIGHT catch adding “-gate” on any noun to make it a scandal.

    “Originality is the Hobgobblin of Small Minds”

    The Top Ten “Wars On” as of noon Thursday were;
    Women
    Black People
    Illegal Brown People
    Any faux Gender Other Than Hetero
    Muslims
    Atheists
    Vegetarians
    Meateaters
    Enviro-whackos
    Enviro-whacko Muslim Vegetarians
    …. Every conceivable combo-permutations of the above

    If you can find three other constipated goobers that will sign your Petition of Imaginary Aggrievement you too can get your little micro-sub-set added to the Master List of Dim-witted Goobers Upon Whom Republicans Supposedly Have Declared WAR.

    The Gay Brown Muslim Dwarfs With Carpel Tunnel Coalition hasn’t found that 3rd petition-signer yet, but they still have until Tuesday at 5 PM. Their “War On” is on hold.

    Once you and your fellow pathetic shlubs are approved, you receive a Starter Kit of “We R Official Victims” bumper stickers and lapel sympathy ribbons in your choice of available colors.

    NOTE #1: Petition-signers are limited to “human beings with NO form of photo-ID whatsoever”. These are Liberal Democrats we’re talking about here.

    That Master “War On” List is already longer than the list of Celebrities Who Have Hooked-up With Madonna and/or Kim Kardashian or Both. And THAT is a very long list.

    NOTE #2: Republicans have not declared War on Anyone of course; EXCEPT Terrorists; and Obama recently declared “that one” as invalid.

    Here’s how it works…..

    (1) Create a really really stoopid group. “Bi-sexual Albino Tuba-players” is already taken in case you were wondering. The goofier and more specific you can make-up the better.
    (2) Create some imaginary reason that Republicans are preventing you and your little imaginary cohorts from being rich&famous as is, of course, your imaginary “right”.
    (3) Thumbnail your imaginary grievance against those eeeevil Repubs in 25 words or less. Title your Opus de Aggrievent as “Republicans Declare WAR on _________” and go stand in line at your nearest Obamic Lapdog Media Outlet.
    (4) VOILA! In their next edition or newscast you will be formally added to “the Be-Warred Upon” list.

    Most local media Dem-sycophants will even supply you 4-5 pathetic aggrieved character actors to be in your YouTube vignettes depicting you & yours under duress by eeeeevil Repubs. Cardboard replicas of Mitt, Rush, Boehner or a generic Tea Party Redneck all with snarling countenances are also available but those are extra.

    How much longer will this “War On _____” silliness go on? Well, that answer is a bit discouraging. Lib/Dems have been humming that Great Society tune for going on 50 years and it still plays with some of their “base”.

    Getting Lib/Dem rank&file to run around in a circle before getting dizzy and falling down is a bit like teasing a cat with a laser pointer. “They” will keep chasing the laser dot for as long as you want to play.

    For sure this silly “War On ______” gambit will last thru November.

    Oh…. that quote about “Originality is the Hobgobblin….”. Yes, I made it up and yes I have a copyright pending.

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    Agent Pierce

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