Larry, Dave, Dave & Dave

“Hi. I’m Larry. These are my fellow local ACC head football coaches Dave…. Dave….. and the newest Dave.” Alls we need is Bob Newhart and, more importantly, Mary Frann in a fluffy sweater?

Was I the only one to immediately think of “Larry & the Daves” relative to Newhart’s “Larry & the Darryls”. Yes, I am aware that Coach Cutcliffe is as often “David” as he is “Dave”. This is my website. I make the rules.

Even Prince Albert remembers Larry, Darryl & Darryl!

Wake Forest’s Ron Wellman is hiring Bowling Green’s Dave Clawson as, hopefully, their “David” to slay the Goliaths of Big Time College Football. Exiting “Gentleman Jim” Grobe gamely held his own for over a decade but 2006 proved unrepeatable and Duke’s Dave is proving “it” can be done…. so long as “it” is sorta within reason.

Duke’s Dave’s recent success was pressuring Ron to a degree as is his “what oh what to do about Bzzzz” dilemma. Bzzzz is Coach Jeff Bzedlik who is woefully short of V’s – vowels and victories – in his ever-how-long span as Deacon cage coach. Jeff hasn’t caused anyone in Winston-Salem to forget Bones or Skip…. or even Carl Tacy.

A once nice & polite program that boasts such alumni luminaries as Tim Duncan, Chris Paul, Lyn Chappell, Rodney Rogers and THREE guys from Kinston; and even Billy Packer has fallen into The Chasm of Total Irrelevance under the vowel-deficient Bzzzz.

Coaches with difficult names containing “z” and “k” have traditionally done pretty good in the ACC until now.

DC, DC and a DD…. that is as alphabetically efficient as you can get with three random coaches in one state.

I like Wake’s (Ron’s) new hire because (1) I really like Ron Wellman and he is somewhat maligned these days. My support will undoubtedly buoy him somewhat. (2) I really like every Demon Deacon I’ve ever known. I’m sure they have their “crazy nutjobs locked in the basement” because every fan base has’em. But I don’t know’em or care too. Go Deacs!

And (3) Dave From Bowling Green seems to have THE resume I would evaluate as perfect for being as successful at Wake as is humanly possible. He has experienced success as Head Coach at three levels of college football (Fordham, Richmond and Bowling Green) and, like Duke’s Dave, has been Off Coor at Tennessee.

Give me an experienced Football CEO and I’ll give you any flavor-of-the-month coordinator and mine’ll beat your’n four outta five. Both Carl Torbush and John Bunting could draw plays on napkins and could get in players’ faces….. and both lacked CEO OJT when they began their ill-fated tenures as UNC HFC.

Two very fine fellows but their lack of FB CEO acumen doomed them.

“Managing one’s peers to successful objectives” is very difficult and aplenty of good guys (and gals) find it beyond their skill set. Dave From Bowling Green has earned his bones as “a football boss”. Score one for Ron Wellman and his search team.

Speaking of Ron’s search team…… knowing Wellman, I’m betting his “search team” was not concerned with being “diverse”. “Search Committees” at my alma mater are always sources of most wonderful column fodder. Finding an Eskimo midget, a dyslexic shepherd and two bisexual descendants of Kunte Kinte always slows down the search process. A short Eskimo won’t do….. he/she/it has to be a certified midget to score oh-so-necessary diversity points.

A braying jackass is always easy to find. They just call Gene Nichol over at The Law School and he tromps over in full bluster.

I’m betting Ron’s search team fit comfortably in the rental car he got at Bowling Green Airport on his trip to Deaconize Dave.

Maybe Ron’s team included a former New York Yankee pitcher? How’s THAT for “diverse” by golly.

I digress…. so Ron takes about a week to Deacon-up Dave Clawson….. expedited somewhat by Clawson whupping previously undefeated Northern Illinois on national TV. WHOA….. wait a sec….. Northern Illinois ??? Where have we heard about them?

Dagnabbit….. THAT is where WuffDave came from a year ago. This whole thing is getting more like a Duck Dynasty family reunion by the second. Dave and Dave both coached at Tennessee and Dave and Dave both coached in “The MAC”…..

……and now Dave, Dave and Dave are Larry’s coaching brothers within a 120 miles section of North Carolina. Tell me Nostradamus predicted THAT!

So now we got us three Daves, one Larry and a Ruffin running around from Murphy To Manteo looking for “meat on the hoof”. (What, no french hens or lords aleaping?) ….. Not to mention poachers from adjoining states. That fabled recruiting fence around the state that gets written about EVERY season for the past 30 years gets even mo’ crowded.

NOTE: I’m checking to see if Bowl promoters are still scamming loyal fans by giving their booster clubs really crappy seat allotments. Intimidating loyal fans to buy crappy tickets from your booster club so your school gets a reputation for “travels well”. Other than the Big Games in Places You Can Get To Easily Or Want To Get To At All …… bowl game promoters can’t even give tickets away. Orphans, homeless guys and even The League of Women Voters are turning down “freebies” these days.

Show up at any bowl game ticket window fifteen minutes before kick-off wearing a ski mask and a gun carved out of soap and they’ll hand-over “a block of 20 on the 50”. Trust me.