Why Bejeebers Fear Richard Sherman and….

    Agent Pierce
    January24/ 2014

    The image burned retinas from coast-to-coast and on all the ships-at-sea. A rabid pit bull….. with dreadlocks…. being interviewed by sideline diva Erin Andrews. Casual sports fans who only pay attention during the playoffs – Meet Seattle Seahawk Richard Sherman.

    Thumb back just a month thru media firestorm history – Another image burned thru retinas …….. a crazed pentacostal Hillbilly in camo, named Phil Robertson, being interviewed in GQ magazine. To those unfamiliar with Duck Dynasty, memories of Ned Beatty squealing like a pig in Deliverance sent them scurrying into their panic rooms.

    The quintessential jock gangsta thug and and every pin-headed liberal view of a right-wing crazy…… Is that who Richard Sherman & Phil Robertson really are? …. uhhh, No. ……

    A frighteningly large number of your “fellow Americans” (say that in your best Lyndon Johnson drawl) don’t know who their US Senators are…. or the Mayor of their city. “They” CAN name at least three Kardashians however. But no Kardashian plays cornerback in The NFL. Although Kim K might have sex videos on-line with a few.

    Richard Sherman is an NFL cornerback. But not a Kardashian conquest that we know of. A cornerback is a football team’s version of a Viet Nam War’s tunnel rat. “Tunnel rats” were a special breed of adrenaline junkie who volunteered to go down into Viet Cong tunnels and “see whats down there”. Cornerbacks and tunnel rats “don’t play well with others”.

    Who is Richard Sherman? No, he is not Mr Peabody’s adopted boy from Rocky & Bullwinkle but that’s a good guess. No, he did not March Thru Georgia saying “War is hell”. That was William Tecumseh Sherman.

    Who was Tecumseh? A famous Indian chief. Don’t I mean “Native American”? No, I mean Indian. This is a very Politically Incorrect website. Moving on.

    Richard Sherman is God’s gift to everyone who watches 24/7 Pre-Super Bowl media coverage wanting something beyond “What does Omaha mean, Peyton?” and “What’s the latest weather forecast for the game?”

    Richard Sherman, ably assisted by a stupefied Erin Andrews, scared the bejebbers out of bazillions of bejebber-filled Americans last Sunday night. He is the first Masters-degreed graduate of Stanford University to ever do so.

    That retina-burned image of the dreadlocked rabid pit bull in full snarl WAS Richard Sherman….. but there is more to him than that image. Sherman is indeed a Masters graduate of Stanford. Stanford, unlike “some universities we know” does not give out degrees for “just being a jock”. I knew that but most folks did not.

    Richard Sherman, with his adrenalin at normal levels, is a quite well-spoken young man who did come out of the “mean streets” of Compton CA but did so successfully overcoming its pitfalls. He does “good things” in his community. With adrenalin not spewing, Sherman is “a good guy”.

    Cornerbacks have to be “cocky” and possess high levels of “swagger” or they end up getting “burned” by cocky, swaggering wide receivers. In the mano-a-mano struggle twixt defensive back and receiver, the prize goes to the cockiest and swaggeriest. Richard Sherman is currently considered the best at what he does in The NFL.

    I’m not sure why he has chosen to go with the dreads. Dreadlocks are an AfAm hairstyle made infamous by Rastafarians, Bob Marley and the Jamaican mob. One doesn’t see too many dreadlocks in suburban America. When one does one usually calls 911 to report the sighting. I suspect Richard Sherman knows that.

    Is “the mullet” white guys “dreadlocks”? Is there a national clearinghouse for eccentric hairstyles? Lets bring back the Mohawk and the High Fade.

    The OMG firestorm following Sherman’s rabid interview was predictable. Sherman had to know that. In countless post-that-interview interviews, he has expressed wonderment that the image he presented did indeed burn retinas. Oh come on Richard!

    Fast reverse in time to Phil Robertson following the OMG firestorm after his GQ interview went viral.

    Phil was not ODing on adrenaline in his GQ interview. He expressed strong personal views critical of the homosexual lifestyle. He quoted scripture in doing so. The homosexual community and them what court that community for votes went ballistic. “Going ballistic” is pretty much the norm for that bunch but Phil amped’em up a notch or two.

    You know the scenario. Duck Dynasty’s TV network (A&E) knee-jerked to the predictable reaction and “suspended Phil” from his Family’s highly successful show for a few days. It only took “a few days” for A&E’s accountants to remind its politically-correct executives that without Duck Dynasty, their network was going to suck swamp water big time.

    Phil Robertson’s visual persona of the very crazy ol’ hillbilly scared the bejeebers out of them what weren’t familiar with Duck Dynasty in the same OMG fashion that Richard Sherman’s dreads scared bejebbers out of his new audience.

    The easy conclusion is:
    Bejebbers are easily frightened and respond to extreme visual stimuli.

    As with Sherman and his dreadlocks; I don’t know why The Robertson menfolk have chosen to portray themselves as Hatfield-McCoys angling for roles in Deliverance II or the Broadway revival of Al Capps’ Li’l Abner. Their fans know the goofy beards and rednecks-on-meth personas are faux. These are successful businessmen with quite normal families who are steeped in their solid Christian faith.

    But who can blame those unfamiliar with The Robertsons from over-reacting. The same to be said from those still cringing from Sherman’s rabid rage.

    I guess “ya can’t always judge a book by its cover”. Huh? UNLESS that book is:

    …… BullyBillBarber who is exactly what you see – one waddling bat-ass crazy sumbitch spewing hate like a cobra spits venom. There is not a bejeeber on Earth that doesn’t recoil in disgust at that flatulent jackass.

    What will the weather in Omaha be next Sunday?

    Agent Pierce

    Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

    You may use these HTML tags and attributes: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <s> <strike> <strong>

    This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.