OK Vlad Putin; you dirty no-good commie Russkie Olympic thug, America showed you by golly. On the big opening weekend of The Sochi Games, America pulls a fast one when two hommies, both coincidentally with initials MS, completely suck up all the column inches and air time in “sports media”.
And, if that wasn’t tough noogies enough, you ruthless Russkie, one of those MS guys is GAY. How ya like that bowl of borscht, Vlad? Marcus Smart & Michael Sam win weekend media gold….. and its crickets for Vlad’s little party.
You figure when The Sochi Games were scheduled, they looked at the Super Bowl dates and knew not to try and go up against that eyeball goobling Godzilla, but howsabout the week after? Squeeze in all those goofy snow-geek sports between The Super Bowl and SI Swimsuit Issue….. a week or so when American sports fans are bored with no bright shiny things to watch.
“Hey Elmer, ya wanna watch Mens Syncronized Slalom Half-Pipe Super Luge….. or reruns of Real Housewives of Cedar Rapids?”
I dunno….. aren’t there any new “kittens riding unicycles” YouTubes?”
THEN….. outta nowhere some black kid from Oklahoma State (Marcus Smart) falls into a nest of rednecks in Lubbock and Gladiators vs Spectators gets nasty in a hurry. Before ESPN can turn that into BREAKING NEWS…..
…… some Mizzou kid (Michael Sam) jumps outta the closet and yells BOO! at The NFL !!!!
Black kid versus Texas rednecks…. and Black Gay Guy !!!!!! Linsey Vonn and Tiger could be getting it on at center ice in Sochi and no one would be watching.
I never watch any Winter Olympics that don’t include Mike Eruzione or Spider Sabich so Marcus & Michael vs Vlad’s Games didn’t really affect me. Had you ever heard of Sochi two weeks ago? Could you locate it within 500 miles? Alls you know now is that it doesn’t have indoor plumbing. Why do they call curling “curling”?
Black Guy vs Texas Rednecks….. as much as the sports drive-by media wanted to turn this into Ron Artest In Detroit II…. it really wasn’t. The player, Marcus Smart, did not purposely “go after” the jackass fans.
His momentum carried him into the photogs under the basket. That created a mini-hubbub. While extricating himself, a fat-faced (white) cretin with a fat-faced cretin-wife blurted something (supposedly NOT ye olde N-word) at the black player. Black player is discombobulated while untangling himself and senses danger. He pushed fat-faced cretin in an involuntary act of self-defense. Fat-faced Mrs Cretin points a fat-finger at black player. All this is caught on camera. Doing irreparable damage to image of fat-faced cretins everywhere.
Black player gets 3-game suspension. Fat-faced cretin fan says he won’t come to any more games. Texas Tech Coach Tubby Smith “didn’t see nuthin….”
Video and tweet worlds go ballistic…… black folks scream about fat-faced cretin fan. White folks all scream about black thug player. Yawn….. Dick Vitale, oddly enough, says black player was wrong….. and supports suspension. Go figure?
Every fan in every fan base not named Texas Tech swears:
“Such a thing would NEVER happen at our school because our fans are classy….. but it could happen at (insert name of hated rival school) because they are all abuncha over there.”
ESPN planned to devote 72 consecutive hours to rehashing Marcus Smart VS Fat-Faced Fan in Lubbock ……. then in Columbia MO, Michael Sam comes out of the closet… KABOOM !!! ….. STOP THE PRESSES !!!
You do know that every BFD that happens is so I have column fodder. Want proof? I have two alma maters – UNCCH and Missouri. What are da odds that alma mater #1 is neck-deep in the yuckiest athe-academic scandal in recorded history…. AND NOW alma mater #2 breaks this little bon bon ??? Coincidence? I think not.
I’ve given “Michael Sam is Gay” a lot of thought and have come to the conclusion that I have no opinion about it. I didn’t say I was reluctant to share an opinion or that Blondie doesn’t want our house firebombed by the militant gay activists. I said I have no opinion. I don’t.
Yes, this does make ME – BOBLEE the ONLY semi-sorta-journo-guy on Earth without a strong opinion on this. Sorry, but I don’t have one. I realize this ranks somewhere among Jackie Robinson, Lee Elder @ Augusta, Renee Richards, Danica Patrick and Billie Jean King plays Bobby Riggs….. but it doesn’t move my needle.
America has a bazillion socio-cultural firestorms raging 24/7. Each one has its own color lapel ribbon and its own acronym. New ones pop up every day limited only, apparently, by ribbon colors available on a given day.
Homosexuality in America is one issue I leave to others to wrestle with. There seems no shortage of “others” choosing to do so on both sides. From what I’m reading, apparently, EVERYBODY “has a gay brother or sister”…. but me and Kid. We’re both only childs. If there are so many gay people on Earth, how’d we get this over-population problem? Again…. so much I just don’t know about this. I’ve never understood the Nature vs Nurture controversy nor had the curiosity to form any opinion.
I don’t care for overly-aggressive activists for any cause and that goes for Jehovahs Witnesses, Hare Krishnas as well as LGBTs (did I leave out a letter?).
Every NFL team currently has at least one if not several players who are multiple dead-beat dads. “That” is apparently “the in-thing” in pro sports. That bothers me. NFL players are notorious for frequenting “strip clubs”. I don’t. NFL players seem to always be beating up wives, baby mammas and girl friends. I don’t do that either. With or without Michael Sam, The NFL is NOT The Boy Scouts…. or what used to be The Boy Scouts.
I found it curious how a large faction of NFL fans chose to “hate” Tim Tebow. Will Tebow-haters be Michael Sam-haters or pro-Sam? Are “openly Christian” and “openly gay” equally inflammable issues? I suspect some fans will hate both (and The Mannings and Russell Wilson too) because some fans just live to hate everything.
NFL players and team executives dealing with overly-aggressive militant Gay activists should be “interesting”. I will watch that.
While I profess no opinion on Michael Sam’s sexual orientation (or is it sexual preference??), I will be curious how all this plays out “in the media”.
Meanwhile in a dacha on the outskirts of Sochi, Vladimir Putin throws down another vodka and scowls……
In case you missed it…. AgentPierce’s column – Barberians On Parade (LINK) – drew a TON of views and one notable reader comment. A rather notorious commenter to this site made a rare visit to Pierce’s site. It got a bit “frosty”. Check it out. You’ll know it when you see it. 🙂