Wherever you were last Thursday, did you sense it or smell it or whatever one does when the dark cloud of political nefariousness looms? That “Vast Right-Wing” was at “it” again. “It” being conspiring; or so speculated those twitchy little knee-jerks Under The Dome in N&O-land.
It was one of those especially magical interludes that make my job as pointer-outer of liberal nonsense so gosh-darn easy. …….
You know, of course, that The State of North Carolina is “like the Ukraine”. Both have been “taken over” by forces of immense eeeeevil. Or so saith what’s left of McClatchy’s staff down on South McDowell Street.
Yes, despite the best efforts of Lord Obama and BullyBilly and his merry little band of race-baiting squirrels, yea ol’ Tar Heel State is indeed under the jack-boot of PatMc, Thom with an “h”, Phil the Berg-lar and their General Assembly of stormtroopers. Or so saith what’s left of McClatchy’s staff down on South McDowell Street.
Every day that ends in a “y” those nasty Republicans pronounced with a distinct sneer…. are conspiring to further subjugate and torment those wonderful folks known as “liberals”…… or so saith what’s left of McClatchy’s staff down on South McDowell Street.
Last Thursday ended in “y” so what evil was afoot down Jones Street-way ??? Wellll…..
There’s this blogger – Robin Smith – who was a former DENR official in the Ma Dumplin Regime. DENR for those not finely-tuned to government acronyms is Department of Environment & Natural Resources.
Robin is a washed-in-the-blood disciple of all things enviro-liberal so she qualifies as a heroine of the 4th or 5th magnitude to the knee-jerking ink-stained goobers down at The N&O. They have elevated Robin to Joan of Arc status.
Sooo, early in the afternoon of Thursday last, An N&O dweeb named John Murawski posted on their website in Under The Dome that:
“A highly respected (??) environmental policy blog (written by N&O heroine Robin Smith) has been made inaccessible…..” to anyone on the ncgov server.
The direct implication being, of course, that Pat, Thom, Phil et al were engaged in the cyber version of book-burning. Those eeeevil Republicans were zapping websites of self-righteous enviro-wackos who oppose all Republican policies….. like everyone of sound mind should according to The N&O..
Those evil jack-booted website zapping thugs were trampling the cyber rights of good oppressed (liberal) citizens from Murphy To Manteo…… or so saith what’s left of McClatchy’s staff down on South McDowell Street.
To Arms…. To Arms….. take to the streets with your pitchforks and your torches. Now is the hour for all good (liberal) citizens to stand tall against the gerrymandering oppressors. They have shut down “a highly respected environmental blog”. OH ME!! …… OH MY!!
Quick. Call logistical expert Peter Anlyan to assemble 100,000 good (liberal) citizens. BullyBilly, it’s time to march again. The fracking crews might be headed towards Carrboro to destroy all that is good and wonderful. OH ME!! …… OH MY!! ….. or so saith what’s left of McClatchy’s staff down on South McDowell Street.
One could envision Nazi panzer tanks crossing into Czechoslovakia…. or the modern version with Vlad Putin crushing Ukrainians underfoot.
To Arms! To Arms!…. beseeched the ink-stained knee-jerks at The N&O on Thursday afternoon last.
Meanwhile……
With McClatchy knee-jerkers stirring-up chaos among the goggle-eyed liberal wackies; deep in the bowels of State government, a techie (of indeterminate political persuasion) was…… installing a routine security update to the ncgov server.
Oblivious to the full-scale rioting no doubt imminent from his routine updating, one state employee (of indeterminate political persuasion) was simply doing what techies do….. typing code into a server program to keep 1,000s of state employees safe and secure in their internet browsing.
How do I, your humble Internet provocateur, know this? Because ANOTHER “highly respected” website was also temporarily inaccessible – CarolinaPlottHound.
Were PatMc, Thom and Phil and their jack-booted stormtroopers also shutting down The #1 News Aggregator serving 10s of 1,000s of brain-dead right-wing crazies. A most fine website that happens to feature Yours Truly on a regular basis. Why would they do ‘dat?
The knee-jerks at The N&O were not too concerned about PlottHound. DUH!
The updates were duly installed…. by the dutiful techie (of indeterminate political persuasion).
……Access to all the temporarily inaccessible sites was restored.
……Carrboro was NOT “fracked into oblivion”
……The Haw River is not burning
……“Highly respected Robin Smith” was NOT burned at the stake
….. BUT:
…… the teeny weeny sliver of credibility that might have remained with The N&O WAS blown to smithereens. But NOT by PatMc, Thom and/or Phil…. but by The N&O’s own terminal ideological blindness.
Did The N&O “correct” their hysterical knee-jerk? Naaah.
Ya know what former N&O Publisher Frank Daniels Jr said: “If we corrected all our mistakes, it might affect our credibility….”
Just another day at the keyboard observing and commenting on liberal lunacy. …. ain’t NEVER gonna run out o’ column fodder. Bwahahahahaha…..
