As Predicted: Spellings IN …. Fennebresque TBD.

    Agent Pierce
    October22/ 2015

    …… The Deal Was Done:Margaret Spellings

    Margaret Spellings WILL BE (has been Unanimously CONFIRMED) The New President of The University of North Carolina System….. and …. the UNCCH Whack-a-doodle gang and the left-wing media weasels are in full warpaint DISGUST…. Yeee Ha!

    LINK to Whack-a-doodle / media weasel rage …..


    John “Trainwreck” Fennebresque WILL “step down” (!?) as Chairman of The UNC Board of Governors within the next week to 10 days.

    I am delighted with both of these upcoming events.   Of course, I am a Merchant of Chaos.  These two upcoming announcements are a trade-off for me.  I lose Ol’ Trainwreck but I gain The UNCCH Loonie Mob (and media) in Total Manic Discombobulation.

    Are my sources “solid”?  Probably better than yours and lots better than the media weasels’.

    “Trainwreck” Fennebresque is “going away” along with the storm clouds forever circling him.   As I Fennebresquepredicted earlier this week…. within a month, no one will remember how to spell his name.   It was exciting having this ego-maniacal bull wrecking havoc in our china shop the past year or so.  Wasn’t it?

    John Fennebresque joins Rielle Hunter….. Mary Easley ….. Jim Black ….. Crystal Mangum…. Mary McAllister ….. Frank Ballance …. Dumplin’ Purdue….. John Blake …. McQueen Campbell …. Julius Nyang’oro…. Mikey Nifong and Lord Knows Who Else in the archives of Notorious Guys & Gals who have stumbled thru our lives with their Above-The-Fold exploits.  Hasta la vista Trainwreck.

    We still have His Imminence Rev “Bully” Barber and his “at least 80,000” screaming disciples dry humping over in the corner.  Our cup o’ crazies will ALWAYS over-flow.

    John Fennebresque will be announcing his departure within the next two weeks.   He’s trying to get the same helicopter that Nixon used.  What contrived reason he will give is TBD.   Whether Governor McCrory will give him an Order Of The Longleaf Pine plaque is also TBD.

    Who to “credit” for John’s decision will likely never be revealed.  Phil Berger, TIny Tim Moore and someone in The Governor’s Office will gladly accept the credit.   Hell…. maybe Those damn Solar Lobbyists will say it was them what done it.   I’m pretty sure neither Nelson Dollar nor Deborah “Dark Dark Day” Ross was involved.

    “Trainwreck” will be replaced by someone you have never heard of  but will be immediately told to HATE by the regional media weasels.   Probably a Heterosexual Caucasian Male Who Attends a Protestant Church…. and we all know how Eeeeevil they are.  Brrrr Scary!!!

    Speaking of credit – Boy, is this hard to write –

    “Trainwreck” DID accomplish the primary objective:  He got rid of Tom “Z. Smith” Ross as UNC Prez.

    It was the most botched assassination since John Wilkes Booth at Ford’s Theater but “Trainwreck” nailed him….. “Z. Smith” Tom is toast.Gene Nichol

    John also publicly bitch-slapped Gene “Gasbag” Nichol by zapping his ridiculous Poverty Center scam.   “Gasbag” is impervious to insults and will continue to be The Snarling Face & Screaming Voice of What UNCCH Has Become…. but it was still fun to watch John give Gene a wedgie.

    That John did what he did while managing to break every single piece of good china at The UNC HQ was unfortunate; unless one is in my business…. in which case it was a veritable Godsend.   I WILL miss Ol’ Trainwreck.


    So John is gone…. and “That Bush Woman” is here.   Margaret Spellings’ appointment will be Margaret Spellingsannounced this Friday.

    Franklin Street Whack-a-Doodles are already comparing Margaret Spellings appointment to…. The Dark Day Mike Krzyzewski passed St Dean in W’s.

    The same black crepe used that day will adorn the lightpoles along Chapel Hill’s fabled Main Thoroughfare.   As Ms Spellings is sworn in, a special séance will be conducted at Bill Friday’s graveside as Kindly Ol’ Bill will surely be “aspinning” six feet below.

    The first prediction re: Ms Spellings is that in their rage and general ignorance the outraged UNC Loonies will misspell her name (by leaving off the “s” at the end) for the first two years of her administration.

    Putting President Spellings in the company of Matt Doherty and Bill Guthridge as Notable UNC people whose names are always misspelled.   Lots of folks want to put an “e” on the end of Thorp if you want to count Holden in that group too.

    The second prediction is that the UNC President’s official manse will be relocated ASAP as far away from Franklin Street as humanly possible.  Maybe to an underground bunker in Art Pope’s backyard.

    Incoming President Spellings has a most impressive resume as a Former US Secretary of Education.   She is well-versed in the macro and micro issues of The InGlorious Mess of Modern American Education.   She has survived hand-to-hand combat with MUCH tougher adversaries than the pompous flibbetygibbets she will find around here.

    Margaret Spellings WILL Kick Ass & Take Names…  Yippee!

    Mad ClownsNone of THAT matters to the quite outraged regional Left-wing media weasels – the Op/Ed Mad Clowns at McClatchy’s dying newspapers in Raleigh and Charlotte … Greensboro’s N&R and Jim Goodmon’s WRAL Dumpster-divers.

    Regional Media Weasels are already pledging to:

    (1) only use the most unflattering pictures of “that Bush Woman” at every opportunity”….

    (2) to take every single word she says out of context …. and if all else fails

    (3)  simply lie thru their pointy teeth to discredit her.  IOW, business as usual for the regional media weasels.   ….. yawn.

    Abdul Hussein Nicolai Clinton-Marx – claiming to be speaking for all UNC Whack-a-doodles issued the following statement…. “Certainly we were going to HATE whoever they picked “just because”.   That they picked “that Bush Woman” just makes us even more constipated than usual.” 


    I have not seen Margaret’s “First Ten Things I Intend To Do” list but I going to speculate the following as likely….

    Commission a bigger-than-life-size portrait of George W. for the main lobby of the UNC System HQ

    Order replicas of Silent Sam to be erected on all 18 campuses of The UNC System.

    Declare “Hetero” as The Official Sexual Preference of The UNC System

    Christianity will be The Official Religion of The UNC System.  Nativity scenes to be placed in every “quad”.

    Dick Cheney’s Birthday will be a UNC System Holiday

    Designate Gene Nichol an Institutional Predator.  Make him wear one of those ankle things so she always knows what he’s up to.

    Name Rush Limbaugh Dean Emeritus of The UNC Journalism / Mass Communication School.   Order Hodding Carter to pledge allegiance to Rush.

    Name UNC-Pembroke and Western Carolina as The Twin Flagships…. just because.

    Rename UNC-Wilmington…. “Mike Adams’ House”.

    Name THE Bob Kennel as UNC System Gadfly with all rights & privileges thereto.

    And…. Order Chancellor Chihuahua to stop wearing those silly lapel ribbons.

    Wonder what President Spellings plans to do in her second week on the job?

    Oh… the Lowe’s out on 15-501 is offering a Two-fer sale on Pitchforks and Torches for all indignant UNCCH Whack-a-doodles who plan to blockade Raleigh Road and make even bigger fools of themselves than usual.


    Epilogue:  Is there a dollop of satire in the above?  Maybe just a smidge.   Margaret Spellings WILL be the next UNC System Prez and “Trainwreck” IS leaving.

    As for the over-the-top manic reaction by the Whack-a-doddles and by the media weasels… we have actually downplayed that.  THAT will be EPIC.  Bwahahahaha.


    Agent Pierce
    • Unaffiliated Voter Reply
      4 years ago

      OMG, ‘you people’ are so hilarious on here!   I haven’t been tuned into the Cheater Hill presidunce saga, but

      don’t doubt the lieberals are screeching state wide!   Glad they are.

      • Agent Pierce Reply
        4 years ago

        Yipppee… “the “you people” slur. You left off “nazis, racists, homophobes, et al”. If you want all the frequent insulter points you need to add those. As for “glad they are”… ME TOO. “Screeching Libs” are my bread & butter column fodder. 🙂 …. oh. Ms Spellings is NOT Cheater Hill’s presidunce, but they sure wish she was. That why they are screeching.

    • Doug Reply
      4 years ago

      A number of Facebook “friends” are predicting dark days and eminent doom. Must be happy days for internet legends. ?

      • BobLee Reply
        4 years ago

        Happy days INDEED! I LOVE the sound of Lib pinheads exploding in indignant RAGE.

    • NCSU68Grad Reply
      4 years ago

      The computers are on overload.  The Lib FB gang has posted the talking points.

      She is agin the LGTXXXXX or whatever their initials are.  They are LIVID and OVERWHELMED…..

      She is a Secret Mikey K fan.  Her appearance today in a Duke Blue Dress (Strangely reminiscent of Monaco’s DNA soaked garment) speaks volumes about her.

      She is making MORE than Gene Chizik….how DARE the UNC BOG pay a president MORE than the UNC DC?  He don’t get no house and he works more hours.

      The comments online are hysterical.  One would have thought that Hillary’s poll numbers had dropped of Bill was photographed with Monica….They are beside their little Lib selves and they are pouring over all the online thesausi to come up with new words and phrases.

      What a WONDERFUL way to start a weekend…..Jim Neal’s consulting calls must be pouring in like invitations to a live birth abortion…..lest it be banned.

      BUT, alas and alack, the guy with the fully decked ECU golf cart in Emerald Isle is not happy this morning.  RW did defeat the lowly 49’ers….which is equivalent to the Wolf Pack taking on Cardinal Gibbons…

      • BobLee Reply
        4 years ago

        Libs on the warpath are more predictable than the sun rising in the East. Yeeeee Ha! ?

    • oldwuf vet Reply
      4 years ago

      First Ten Things I Plan to Do. Outstanding. Dick Cheney’s birthday will be a UNC system holiday. That would certainly make heads explode. I’m guessing the NCSU student Senate proposal to change Columbus Day to Indigenous Peoples Day is probably dead. This is going to be fun!

      • Agent Pierce Reply
        4 years ago

        It will be FUN indeed. The exploding heads in Chapel Hill AND at The N&O will be numerous and frequent.

    • NCSU68Grad Reply
      4 years ago

      Got this early this AM…..just before our final beach walk at Emerald Isle.  I do NOT doubt that your predictions are correct….and almost an absolute certainty…..

      Tomorrow, we will know for sure.  I’m with you… is almost as certain as “knowing” that the individual that just drove by in the Campground with a Purple (metallic) painted Golf Cart (they are BIG here….sort of like who’s got the loudest deck stereo?).  This one is trimmed in Yellow or Gold and has a hand painted (not decal) Pirate.  The driver, whom I ASSUME, is the owner is wearing an ECU hat.  One would ASSUME that on Saturday, who he will be cheering for….but MAYBE he is a Temple Grad and will be neutral.  The SMART money would be on him yelling for the Purple clad lads….and the SMART money is on Mrs. (Ms.?) Spellings (and YES, I do KNOW that it has an S on the end).  She AIN’T Tori SPELLING’s Mom….


      I also read the Op-Ed by a Mr. Jim Neal in the N&O.  That boy put enough in that column for Peter Golenbach to write a book….Personal Lies, the Margaret Spellings Saga….

      I have NO idea as to the accuracy of the reports about Mr. Neal….other than it does appear in many different blogs….Mr. Neal, a member of the “alternative lifestyle” Klan, shouted remarks at James Carville at a Kay Hagan bash.  Even Mr. “I gotta comeback for anything an idiot can say” Carville was supposedly silent and smiled and just shook his head.


      SO, Mr. Neal has clicked a story that starts with W and Rove performing a lobotomy on Ms. Spellings and being the “source” of the info on former Gov Ann Richards’ SUPPOSED attractions to young FEMALE interns (as was William Jefferson Clinton).  THEN she assisted in code wording that and destroyed Ms. Richards.


      He then goes on to say that she denied the under 6 lads and lassies to learn a NEW L word…..and that her actions lead to the summaral dismissal of the PBS Boss.  THAT, in itself, should be sufficient credentials for becoming a No Nonsense UNC BOG Pres.


      The comments about Mr. Neal’s article are priceless.  They are from the Kool Aid crowd.  They are usually well structured (from a grammatical standpoint), but lacked any logic.  MOST of them were about WHOM she associated with.


      They also cited the outstanding bi-partisan leadership of Boles and Spangler.  I would only quote an infamous line from Mr. Spangler, when he headed up the Jimmy V. witch hunt…”Coach Valvano, why didn’t you just give those players a little more spending money…..and then they would not have had to sell shoes or tickets and you would not be caught up in this mess?”  OUCH…..and THIS individual as a Billionaire…..
      Here’s to Ms. Spellings and hope that she has a LONG and Successful term.  I hope, like you, that the body count includes the large white whale washed ashore with the Dog Tag – Nichols.

      • Agent Pierce Reply
        4 years ago

        As I noted earlier – “the enemy of my enemy is my friend” – The N&O hated the Duke Lacrosse Players. The N&O hated anyone who accused John Edwards of hanky panky. The N&O hates Art Pope. …. do I really need to go on? They will wage all-out war on Margaret Spellings ignoring every rule of honest journalism because that is who they are and they desperately need a villain to mount a war campaign against since the General Assembly is out of session. Did I mention they are hemorrhaging red ink out their wazoo? …. With your old employer – Jimmy G at WRAL – he just f’in nutz and “on a mission”.

    • uncleron Reply
      4 years ago

      I’ll take it.  Of course, for future reference this could be avoided by actually making BOG appointments based on credentials other than contributions, or at least considering whether their belief system reflects anything like a respect for process and conservatism.  I know…. Check this one off the list and on to cutting costs, enhancing freedom of expression and adults in leadership positions.

      • Agent Pierce Reply
        4 years ago

        In a Perfect World – Absolutely … we are, alas, soooo far from even a whiff of “a perfect world”. Grading “credentials” would take on the complexity of determining “pornography”. In the eye of the beholder.

    • robedixon Reply
      4 years ago

      I am as yet not sold on Ms. Spellings, but as I noted yesterday on FB after a blistering opinion piece in the N&O about her, if the N&O hates her that much then maybe there is some redeeming qualties here I might have missed.  Now if Ms. Spellings would appoint Mike Adams to some high supervisory post at UNC THAT would be be much fun and much fodder for you too.

      • Agent Pierce Reply
        4 years ago

        Re: the ever-increasingly irrelevant N&O… use “the enemy of my enemy is my friend”. The Negative endorsement by those weasels is the best ensorsement she could receive.
        I will go into much more detail on what to expect from President Margaret following her Formal Announcement. It will all be OK.

    • Maggie Reply
      4 years ago

      I disagree with Ted.  I preferred the John Wilkes Booth reference.  I can see Trainwreck jumping out of the balcony and breaking his leg or whatever.  I do agree this should be required reading for all incoming Freshpeople.

      • Agent Pierce Reply
        4 years ago

        This like a Baskins Robbins here. We offer many many choices. At the end of the day we want all the ice cream to be gone. … FWIW… I like BOTH the Nixon and JWB bits. …. actually “Mike Adams’ House” is probably my fave. 🙂

    • Ted-in-Kannapolis Reply
      4 years ago

      So many great zingers to choose from.  A Bounty of Satirical Riches for sure.  My favorite has to be “…. trying to get the same helicopter Nixon used”.  That one was like a straight razor dragged silently across the jugular.  This should be required reading for every incoming UNC freshman…. or “freshpeople”.

      • Agent Pierce Reply
        4 years ago

        I was going to have my photoshop guy put Trainwreck on the helicopter steps flashing the double “V” but figured it would be overkill. 🙂

    • Doug Reply
      4 years ago


      • Agent Pierce Reply
        4 years ago

        Belt-high fastballs…. 🙂

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