It began with the subtlety of Wally Pipp having a headache on June 2, 1925. A strapping young fellow named Lou Gehrig replaced Wally that day at first base for the Yankees… and the next day… and the next. 2130 games later they were calling Gehrig “The Iron Horse”.
What occurred on June 12, 2017 won’t reverberate quite as much across American Sports History. It won’t need to. They already call BobLee “The Internet Legend”.
It wasn’t a “boycott”…“girlcott” or “transgendercott”. There was no economic purpose nor a political purpose… really, there wasn’t. I never set out “to do it”. The feat was not “climbing Everest because it was there”.
The response to “Why BobLee Way?” is uncharacteristically terse.
“I simply didn’t give a rat’s ass.”
Luckily I had thought to copyright that phrase for t-shirts, bumper stickers and lapel buttons.
A young crop duster named Bruce did manage to secure the right to sky write “The Phrase” over Kenan Memorial Stadium later this Fall.
NBA Commissioner, Duke Alum, suspected interplanetary alien from some galaxy far far away and notorious “very very strange-looking goober” Adam Silver was (almost) speechless upon hearing of the feat.
“We, the Association, are prepared financially to withstand this symbolic kick to our solar plexus… assuming of course it does not spread beyond this one solitary individual. If it does spread however it could – nay, it definitely would – be devastating. Does Mr. BobLee know I rescheduled our All-Star game to Charlotte?”
Told that their research revealed that BobLee had never attended an NBA game in Charlotte… EVER. Or even been tempted to do so… Silver decided not to pursue that angle.
A sidenote to that research… at some point around 2001-2002 an article had appeared on BobLeeSays wondering if former Hornets coach Dick Harter had (1) ever forgiven his parents for naming him, and (2) if his name had helped or hindered his college dating success… (3) had he ever met former NASCAR driver Dick Trickle?
Adam Silver chuckled at that one.
News of BobLee’s “not a boycott, just 100% apathy” spread like chlamydia in a WNBA locker room.
The immediate fear for ESPN CEO John Skipper (UNC’75) was, of course, would this interfere with his and Jamele Hill’s plan for a week-long on-air marathon about How Much Steph Curry Hates Donald Trump… And Why YOU Should Hate Him Too.
CEO Skipper intends to open the 24/7 marathon with the Hank Williams Jr MNF theme to PROVE – “I don’t hate all Trump supporters; well actually I do… but my bosses at Disney told me to say that, so I did.”
An emergency “what to do” meeting with Skipper, Ms Hill, Bomani Jones, Chelsea Clinton and a “famous rapper” named Famous Rapper was held in a Bristol CT Starbucks… to be continued.
Life goes on per usual for the focus of all this hubbub.
Returning from a quick flight to St.Louis where he and Cardinals owner Bill DeWitt met “behind closed doors” for “about 40 minutes”. Aides for DeWitt believe DeWitt was asking BobLee’s opinion on switching the slumping team to “long pants” versus knickers. The two men remain “mum” on particulars.
Whats next?… The answer to that question was found in a quiet residential neighborhood in Beaumont Texas with an elderly gentleman CallSign “Coach”. A media siege of “Coach’s” compound did produce a formal written statement delivered without comment by a polite lady identified only as “Judy”.
This has gone far enough. I will not have you blow-dried human hairballs bothering my dear friends with this silliness.
I do not give a rat’s ass about The NBA… PERIOD. I do not care who the MVP is. I do not care who The G.O.A.T. is. I certainly do not care what Steph Curry, Steve Kerr, Gregg Popovich or whoever Rihanna is thinks about anything.
For those of you hell bent to find a racial component in this… I have not watched an NHL game in going on six years. Is Boom Boom Geoffrion still playing?…
I did not watch more than ten minutes of any NFL game last Fall until the Playoffs…
I would not watch ANY level of “girls’ basketball” regardless of sexual orientation even under threat of having to be in the same room with Congresswoman Maxine Waters and/or Senator John “Songbird” McCain.
I have not watched five minutes of any PGA Tour event other than the final two rounds of The Masters. I “might” watch the final round of The US Open. I haven’t decided yet. Does either The LPGA or The Champions Tour still exist? Prove it.
I have NEVER been tempted to watch whatever UFC is.
I could not name three members of Royz Boyz until the 2nd round of March Madness.
The last spectator to leave the last NASCAR race, please turn out the lights and lock up.
I have not watched “a late-night talk show” since Johnny Carson and The Matinee Lady “cutoff their Slawsons” with the fork in the road.
I have no plans to meet with Adam Silver until he produces proof that he was not hatched. I am confident he cannot do that.
Now leave these dear people alone… or I will tell Judy she does not have to “be nice”. You really don’t want me to do that.
UPDATE re: The Fabulous Comparato Twins- Nicole & Paige.
When I last reported “The Fabs” were kickin’ butts & takin’ names at Univ of Miami Law School.
In true Fabs fashion… Paige was Valedictorian of their 250 member Law School class. Nicole was “only #4” but was Editor of the Law Review. They are joining competing prestigious Miami law firms where both will be phenomenally successful litigators.
With at least two more vacancies expected on the SCOTUS in the next seven years of The Trump Dynasty… it is reasonable to expect even greater achievements for – The Incredible Amazingly Marvelous Fabulous Comparato Twins. You Go Girls!
Oh.. Oh… Speaking of twins: Have I told “you people” that Kid and “Reverend Danny” are expecting TWINS in December / January. They are. Rev. Danny IS a twin.