The UNC FB Search 2.0
Imagine, if you will …
… As Da Vinci was putting the final brushstroke to Mona Lisa’s enigmatic smile… Leonardo sneezed.
… As Neal Armstrong descended the ladder to the lunar surface, Neal’s foot slipped and his “one small step” had been a pratfall.
How might the historical / cultural future of our planet have been forever altered ? WELL…
Earlier this very morning – about 10:27 AM – such a frozen moment in History took place unbeknownst to all but about three folks… Me, Blondie and Another Guy.
At 10:27 AM, my right index finger was literally poised over the SEND button to distribute The Search… How A RealAD Does It to Mr & Mrs America and All The Ships At Sea… when my Incoming Email chimed.
Why did I stop? That Email could easily wait. I wasn’t expecting anything critical… or so I thought.
This incredible chain of events needs a proper set-up.
I spent most of yesterday binge-watching ten hours of Narcos: Mexico on Netflix. More on that later. Blondie & I had spent Thanksgiving in Madison WI with Twinkle, Scooter and Etc. returning late Saturday night. I wasn’t in “write a column” mode so I was putting off telling you How / What To Think about what was transpiring over yonder amid Kenan Jr’s lofty pines. I almost “did a column” late Sunday night which woulda been waiting for you as you awoke…. but Fate had a better idea.
I arose early this morning (Mon) all jazzed up to columnize you with The Search… How a RealAD Does It. Modesty aside it was One Helluva Incredible Column. A First Ballot Hall Of Famer for sure. Take my word for it… which is about all you can do as it turned out.
At 10:22 I followed my usual custom of sending a virgin column to a very select group of very select friends… BEFORE I send it out to THE WORLD. Between 10:22 and 10:27 my hard-earned reputation as The Internet Legend hung by a gossamer thread high above The Abyss. And I didn’t even know it.
So much for your opening sentence in today’s message. Got to say, I am a bit surprised. I suspect Mack wants to pass Dick Crum as our winningest coach. Old Chinese curse: may you live in interesting times.
…with an attached link to a Durham Herald BREAKING NEWS about You Know What.
The Email was from a deep-inside 110% reliable source amid those towering pines. I sloooowly moved my right index finger away from The SEND Button… and moved it to the TRASH Button.
The “today’s message” he referenced explained in intricate detail alls you really need to know about how BubbaTheRealAD was (I thought) going to conduct The Search. Included were the usual Dickie Baddour zingers… and three incredibly amusing paragraphs assuring one & all that
Mack Brown Returning is about as likely as
“Maxine Waters having Donald Trump’s Love Child”. YIKES!
It’s now 3:32 PM and no Absolute Confirmation Yet that MACK IS BACK; but The Greater Triangle Area is in Post Apocalyptic Meltdown Mode so I’m going with IT.
Is it a bold move sure to generate all manner of speculation, controversy, comments and hysterical over-reaction? Yep. Ya know how much I do love CHAOS!
Reactions Within 50 miles of Ground Zero are as expected…
- The hobgoblins who live 24/7 in that Vast Wasteland known as HatedRivalWorld are chortling, snorting, guffawing and otherwise “doing what hated rival fans always do regardless”.
- A faction of UNC Board Monkeys were seen climbing UNC’s Bell Tower with intent to hurl themselves upon the concrete 50′ or so below… convinced their sleeping giant is for sure entering terminal trypanosomiasis (sleeping sickness).
- A similar gang – The We’ll Never Fergits – were seen marching down Franklin Street screaming “He Lied To Dem Boys” recalling the circumstances of Mack’s departure from Chapel Hill in December 1997. Their excitement over the pending announcement is somewhat less than euphoric.
- Contrasting… there is a group of give/take 60-70 diehard Mack Disciples who, like Ulysses wife Penelope, have kept a candle burning in the window assured THAT HE WILL RETURN SOMEDAY. Whether all 60-70 of them intend to purchase UNC FB season tickets is not clear.
None of these reactions should surprise anyone.
I’m assuming The Plan is for Mack to function as UNC Football CEO doing what he does best… organize / manage a staff of intensely loyal assistants… leaving much of the on-the-ground fundamentals, et al to that staff. Mack’s real time input during games on either Offense or Defense To Be Determined.
I further assume there will be a Designated Heir Apparent Head Coach-in-waiting / Coordinator filling the “Jimbo to Bobby” role in 3-4-5 years when Mack moves on to – maybe – AD when / if Bubba returns to South Bend or becomes PGA Tour Commissioner. I hope for the latter.
As for $$$$... lets bet Mack gets a reasonable $3+M deal for five years with ample “staff $$$” to corral the key kick-butt gurus du jour he already has his eyes on.
The $$$ does NOT MATTER as I keep telling you folks. It is all Monopoly Money. … The lights will stay on all over campus… the grass will get cut… and tenured faculty who teach one/two classes / week will keep their $150K until forever.
Nothing will change except increased faculty resentment that “a rich old heterosexual white man” is returning to Chapel Hill… replacing Silent Sam in a perverted sense.
Will Mack “retake” in-state recruiting from DD? Probably not.
Will Mack pull wagonloads of 5-stars out of Texas? Probably not.
Will Mack go either 2-9 or 9-3? Probably not. … more like 7-5 maybe by Year 2 at least.
Will Mack rejuvenate a historically somnambulate UNC Football fan base? Yeah… sure… LOLOL…
Will Mack recruit thugs and otherwise “marginal character-types”? I sure hope not but who knows. I don’t recall that being a BFD in Austin but I could be wrong.
Not that anyone cares any more BUT… Larry Fedora’s “buy-out” is meted; meaning any coaching or TV $$$ he might get the next 3/4 year counts towards the $12M UNC owes him… which is paid out over the remaining term of the contract. He did NOT get handed a satchel full of “bearer bonds” on Sunday morning.
So, as I close this… my 2nd BLSays of this day… I am reminded of the Front Page Editor of The Chicago Daily Tribune on November 3, 1948. I bet he wishes he had gotten an Email just before he said “RUN IT”. “IT” being DEWEY DEFEATS TRUMAN.
IN CONCLUSION… Yesterday (Sunday) I binged-watched ten hours of Narcos: Mexico on NetFlix. Very INTENSE.
You may recall I watched the Original Narcos about six months ago. That was about the Rise / Fall of Pablo Escobar and the Medelin Cartel. This one overlaps a bit with that about Miquel Angel Felix Gallardo and DEA agent KiKi Camarena… NOT El Chapo. You do meet El Chapo in this one… but he is a minor character. … Wait til you meet “Isabella” – one HOT TAMALE – YOWSA! … IF you like Very Intense 10-hours about Narcos… I definitely recommend Narcos: Mexico on NetFlix. …
Want some highly partisan political opinions.