BLSays: Simple Solution for SAVING THE NFL!

BLSays: Simple Solution to SAVE THE NFL!…

I began thinking about this “Why Not” after the No Call in the Rams v Saints game. I dismissed it as“Naa… it’ll never work”. Then there was Super Bowl #LWhatever… . In this aftermath of SB #LWhatever, I feel duty-bound to propose my “Why Not”. … but first

BACKGROUND: For all those of you who just discovered this cool website with that AWESOME BBQ Column… I am not an NFL or NBA fan. I used to be but not any more. I never was a “I gotta watch… own a foam finger” fan of either league.

I DO watch the NFL Playoffs however because they could involve one or more seismic cultural moments that might even push “Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez’ SAID…” off the front page. … Did You Know… there ARE infants who survived the Abortion Gauntlet over the past six months that have never known a day without the remarkable insights of Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez… I digress.

I do not expect Roger & The 30 Rich Old White Guys to take “Today’s Advice”; but here it is…

Coming of age in The 60s, I grew up enjoying The Big Three Sports as they transitioned from Black/White to Color TV. I knew what “the YA” in YA Tittle stood for… what “Red Auerbach lighting his cigar” meant … and what you “prayed for” after “Spahn & Sain”.

… I also was an aficionado of a fourth “sport”.

I LOVED Professional Wrestling on TV.

I’m talking waaaay back in the era of Gorgeous George… Argentina Rocca… Killer Kowalski… Lou Thesz… Verne Gagne… Bruno Sammartino. I don’t go back to Ed “Strangler” Lewis, but those other names impressed you, right? The matches came LIVE from Chicago’s International Amphitheater.

Gorgeous George – think Liberace of Wrestling – was the genus from whence we got The Nature Boys (Both Buddy Rogers and Ric Flair) and Dusty “The American Dream” Rhodes.

That evolved to Saturday afternoon from WRAL’s studios in Raleigh with Nick Pond and Ray Reeves announcing for Haystacks Calhoun, Billy Two Rivers, George Becker and Johnny Weaver, Mr Moto and Duke Keomuka, The Von Brauners (Kurt & Karl w/ Mgr. Gentleman Saul Weingroff)…

With every NOT PC stereotype imaginable… who can forget a “goose-stepping” Hans Schmidt / Fritz Von Erich or a flag-waving Iron Sheik or Chief Big Heart doing his war dance before delivering a series of “tomahawk chops” to finish off an opponent. The Fabulous “Slave Girl’ Moolah … Oh My!

THAT evolved to WCW / NWA with Gordon Solie “…from The Great Peach State of Georgia” with another generation of incredibly entertaining characters who never failed to entertain me incredibly.

Rowdy Roddie, Macho Man (and Miss Elizabeth!), Wahoo McDaniel, and Andre, a young Hogan, The Minnesota Wrecking Crew (with a young Ric Flair) and Mr Wrestling I… and II.

Living in Kansas City in the late 70s, I actually met Pat O’Connor, Dick The Bruiser, and Brute Bernard (but not his longtime partner Skull Murphy). Cool, huh? That’s Brute and Skull in the photo up top.

So… I’m in a friend’s basement in Lenexa KS (a suburb of Kansas City). A “basement” was The 70’s version of “a man cave”. He had one of the very few Sony BetaMax ever sold with tapes of all the James Bonds’ and Dirty Harrys’ and Chuck Norris’.

He and I would watch WCW from Atlanta doing our impressions of a Dusty Rhodes interview. He would be “The Dream” from Euvalde TX and I would be Gordon Solie. RIP… Gordon Solie & Dusty Rhodes.

He became a Galactic Icon. Me? … an Internet Legend…. Oops, digressing again.

He still has the betamax of Chuck Norris as Lone Wolf McQuade. …

Alas… like Puff The Magic Dragon and Little Jackie Paper, my fascination with pro wrestling eventually dissipated. I lost interest when Vince McMahon bought out the WCW guys in Atlanta. It was time to move on…

Oh… I did get to know “Goldberg” in the late 80s. Very cool guy. Our paths kept crossing… there was this one time with me, Goldberg, Colin Powell, a midget, and a Barney Fife look-alike in Bruton Smith’s suite at a NASCAR race.

Kid has a picture of her with Goldberg. Can’t wait to explain “the rest of that story” to Twinkle & Scooter.

While I was enjoying Professional Wrestling all those decades, my mother was devoted to “her stories” i.e. afternoon soap operas. Her favorites were Days Of Our Lives and Another World.

“Like sands through an hourglass… so are The Days of Our Lives”. Has there EVER been a romance as steamy as Doug & Julie ???

YES… Little BobLee knew that those wrestling matches “were scripted”. The outcomes were predetermined complete with a series of Perils of Pauline for the “good guy” to overcome to vanquish the “bad guy” with both surviving to fight another day… and another day… and

Did my mother realize “her stories” were also scripted? I never found the proper moment to ask her. Did it matter?…

Professional Wrestling and TV Soap Operas… have us Baby Boomers ever had two more thoroughly delightful entertainment options.

Sooo… in this post SB LWhatever world, almost everything we go to for entertainment IS SCRIPTED. The outcome predetermined.

The path to that outcome is artfully crafted with all manner of plot twists and turns to keep us reading / watching / listening. … Books, movies, TV, plays… you name it.

Will Shakespeare knew his “star-crossed lovers” would perish.
Alfred Hitchcock knew all about Norman Bates’ mother.
Sir Arthur Conan Doyle knew how Sherlock would solve the crime.
Homer arranged for the Greeks to hide inside that Trojan Horse and not be discovered.

You can go to the final chapter of any book to discover “who done it”; but you don’t. You enjoy the “getting there”.

Fast Forward to the last few minutes of a TV movie… but you don’t.

Knowing the outcome is predetermined and everyone in the production of the book, movie etc (wrestling match / soap opera) knows the outcome does NOT lessen your enjoyment one iota.

So why not “script” so-called sports? The “wrestling guys” could oversee the productions for the first few years until NFL, NBA, MLB and the dolts at NCAA get the hang of it.

It will take longer for The NCAA to “get the hang of it” because they aren’t all that bright.

Never again would there be a 13-3 Super Bowl… Guaranteed.

How one pulls off that Eli Manning pass sticking to the guy’s helmet? I don’t know. But that Seattle pass from the one-yard line would be easy. … “Inflate-gate”? Classic “wrestling” plot-device.

OK, I know what you’re thinking… what about all the bazillion$ BET on who wins sports events? If the outcome is “fixed” that pretty much eliminates “sports betting”. … I don’t BET on sports so I don’t care about that or about them what does it.

If you’d like…we can take this to the next level.

Other than the “betting thing” I have answers to all your “OK, BobLee but what about….?”

Maybe “games” are already being scripted.

Ask any disgruntled Wolfpacker who chose to watch last nights “Vs UNC” game instead of The SOTU about “the refs” and the foul discrepancy.

Of course, the outcome of EVERY sports event in recorded history in which UNC defeated NC State has “been scripted” i.e. “fixed”… at least in the past 19 years since Swofford has been in charge. Everyone knows that…

The Peloton YouTube… If you’ve ever seen even one Peloton commercial, you’ll love this YouTube. The guy that created this – Clue Heywood – has picked up 40,000 Twitter followers as a result. 40,000 is a lot. If you don’t “get this” as awesome humor, then you and I probably have other differing views about Life.

LINK TO PELOTON SATIRE… LINK

My favs are “Where is Consuelo…?” and “… half-gay husband in combat boots”.

IF you own a Peloton you must have a Yeti cooler to keep your Evian water chilled…