Admission-gate: The Ultimate Solution… & a Mack2.0 Update !!

    College Admissions
    BobLee
    March17/ 2019

    BL LOGO

    Re: Admission-Gate… & MACK2.0 WANTS WHAT!!!

    & Wilber’s BBQ too

    .

    NOTE: This column is sorta lengthy. Couldn’t be helped… High Quality Fodder!

    I waited a few days for everyone to postulate Elite College Admission-gate to a fare-the-well before I drop the Ultimate Solution on you.

    And… I have a MACK2.0 Update that will have you chortling up a storm.

    And… a few comments about Wilber’s BBQ too.

    .

    Theres More

    .

    Is there anything more fun for us Great Unwashed than the “Beautiful People” trying to explain to a convenience store clerk why their Black Platinum Titanium credit card was rejected while trying to buy a Mr Goodbar and a Diet Mountain Dew at 2 AM…

    There MUST be a mistake!  Doesn’t your credit card computer thingy Know Who I Am? … or I used to be ….. Harrumph!”

    THAT is basically what hit the entitled residents of 90210 last week with Elite College Admission-gate. Luke Perry dies and the whole freakin’ zip code goes to hell in a way over-priced Gucci handbag.

    NOTE: Prince Albert didn’t get any of that.

    ##

    INSERT PERSONAL ANECDOTE… a dozen plus years ago, maybe as many as fifteen, I took Kid with me to the Elizabeth Glazer Pediatric Aids Celebrity Golf Thing at Riviera Country Club in Santa Monica CA. Elizabeth Glazer was the late wife of “Starsky” AKA Paul Michael Glazer. T’was a star-studded event for sure.

    In a ballroom full of Actually Famous… Sorta Famous… Used-to-be Famous… and a lot of cosmetic surgeons, dermatologists and Life Coaches… Kid spotted a dumpy little guy with no one to talk to… so she went over and talked to Kevin James. King of Queens was brand new and Mall Cop was five years away. He was just “a dumpy little guy over in the corner”.

    Earlier in the day, Kid had been photographed with a weird old man named “Jack” (Nicholson) and “Sylvester” somebody.

    Leaving Kevin James, she rejoined me to report she had spied…

    Loro Mossimo

    .

    Lori Loughlin and “Mossimo”. YIKES!

    Kid knew that “Mossimo” was The Designer for Target (?) and, of course, everyone knew Lori Loughlin was the sweet and charming “Aunt Becky” on Full House.

    I’d love to report that Kid said… Dad, I don’t trust those two. I think they are up to no good …but she just thought it was all quite exciting. … and indeed it was.

    ##

    Raise you hand if you have always known that enough $$$ can get your kids into pretty much any Elite College in America. The key is “enough” and how much of “enough” you staple to the application.

    Duke and Stanford’s Admissions Depts accept unmarked non-sequential Euros, Krugerrands, bearer bonds, and Yen. Rumor has it, Yale once took in a herd of goats from a desperate Junior Sheik from Abu Dabi.

    WHAT?  You say “your school” doesn’t do that?  Well, I did qualify it was “Elite” schools.

    If there is anything more undeserving of admiration than “show biz celebrities” it is “Elite Colleges”.  Last week’s News Story of The Week about show biz celebs scamming the system to get their vapid wastrel prodigy into Elite Colleges had all the nutritional value of Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez’ colonoscopy x-ray.

    I’m all for any/all elaborate public humiliation to be heaped upon Loughlin/Mossimo and Felicity Huffman – AKA The Other Desperate Housewife not ever married to Tony Parker or played Lois Lane. Her hubby William H. Macy plays in a Showtime series called Shameless which is just too coincidental.

    32 of the 33 indicted so far in Admission-gate are Big Lib/Dem Donor-activists!  Just a coincidence, I’m sure.  I think the other one was a Scientologist or a Druid.

    They paid some sleazeball to change SAT scores. Yawn… John Calipari did that for Derrick Rose and it’s been done in college sports recruiting for as long as anyone can remember. DUH!

    “Changing a score” is lots easier than arranging for someone to take the test for them. With any scam, the fewer people involved the better.

    Same with Voter Fraud. Having dead people vote multiple times is so 20th century passe… now operatives simply hack into the voting computers and change the totals for whichever candidate is paying them. Voter ID doesn’t really matter anymore. … keeping paper ballots is what is critical now. … How did we get sidetracked into that?

    Change SAT scores to get the academically apathetic in school where they can then enroll in paper classes and be given undeserved A’s to stay eligible… nothing new or complicated here, folks.

    Pretending to be athletically-deserving IS a new twist. Photoshop your vapid wastrel kid’s face onto someone holding a paddle and claim they are worthy of admission to XYZ Elite School as a world-class “crew” athlete ?  Who thinks up crap like that?

    The only reason these vapid wastrel kids want to “go to college” is to “party” and meet other privileged vapid wastrel kids for the all-important “contacts” in later life. There is no such thing as having too many vapid wastrel contacts in one’s smartphone.

    Isn’t that more honest than “my parents say I have to” or “I dunno… it just sounds cool.”?

    If Reality TV has taught us anything it is that with enough Mommy Daddy $$$ one can enjoy a shallow vapid lifestyle until … well, let’s not worry about “until”.

    We can solve all this elaborate flimflammery very easily.  Totally eliminating the sleazeball with the SAT eraser and photoshopping the paddle picture…

    .

    Colleges already have Eligibility Majors for academically-apathetic athletes… Why not Social Admissions for academically-apathetic vapid wastrel kids of wealthy celebrity parents who expect special privileges because…

    BobLee’s “Social Admissions”The Ultimate Solution

    Pay full tuition PLUS a special 20% service charge per semester and your vapid kid gets an official I’m a sorta for-real student – ID and all the privileges there-to… except there are no messy academic requirements whatsoever.

    .

    A “social membership” at a ritzy Country Club comes with everything but golf / tennis privileges. A “social admission” to XYZ Elite School comes with everything but “academics”.

    You can “hang out” on campus… …play frisbee on The Quad … …sit in the student section at sports events… …join a frat or sorority… …attend We Hate Trump, Jews and Bad Hair Days rallies… …get drunk or high… …have total guilt-free sex with any he/she/it you please… …get quickie abortions at the student clinic… et al.  All the cool stuff “real students” do.

    Instead of “going to class” you can watch podcasts on How lip gloss is named … or What does IKEA mean … or How to get an invite to Taylor Swift’s Halloween Party… or…

    One can be “a Social Admittee” for up to eight years. After that you pay $200,000/year and can be a Socially Tenured Faculty Member. Again, with no academic stuff. You hang out around campus with a $5,300 Hermes Birkin Bag full of “test papers” (wink!) that you pull out at Starbucks and pretend to grade until another cool person walks up and says “Hi… ya wanna go have a veggie burger or have sex or something…?” … and you do.

    I’m still working out the details. I plan on doing a GoFundMe with the whole concept and a national roll-out next Fall. Want in?

    .Theres More

    .

    Long Time Reliable Source Reports…..   What MACK2.0 Wants NOW… YOU’RE GONNA LOVE THIS…

    Thursday, after practice, Mack Brown 2.0 told “the media” that he was going to meet with Rams Club Fat Cats on Friday to tell them he MUST HAVE a new locker room ASAP. Not a “request” but a MUST… Expected cost around $7-8,000,000. WHOA!… It’s gets better.

    Apparently Mack2.0 is running into objections from in-demand Blue-Chippers.  UNC’s current Football locker room lacks sufficient CHARGING STATIONS.

    Dave Doeren was “ahead of the curve” 3-4 years ago when he added “more charging stations” to NC State’s Murphy Center.  Kudos to DD!  No mention of whether or not “even Wake Forest has lots of charging stations”.

    Mack2.0 wants LOTS MORE CHARGING STATIONSand Helmets Dryers ??? Apparently damp helmets are a major concern among semi-literate 4-5 stars when choosing a college these days.  Who knew?

    I’m guessing Six Flags Over Death Valley / AKA DaboWorld has lots of Helmet Dryers?

    If Mack2.0 is going to try and OutDabo Dabo, the Rams Club Fats Cats better start selling off some of their “prime bottom land” and “family jewels”. The price to play Big Time College Football – Mack2.0 Style is going UP – UP – and AWAY ….

    So long as it’s Fat Cat $$$ … who cares?
    .

    Wilbers.
    Thanks again to Reader Doug for the heads up on Wilber’s BBQ going dark … as I predicted – OF COURSE – last month in that awesome BBQ Column – LINK

    FWIW… Far be it for me to defend a government bureaucracy… but “Wilber’s” knew 8-10 years in advance about the new Hwy 70 Bypass that totally wiped out his “beach traffic” business.   Plenty of time to relocate or otherwise plan for the inevitable.

    .

    2,000+ More BobLeeSays Columns … LINK

    ,

    BobLee
    • Mayberry Jim Reply
      2 months ago

      I don’t recall ever seeing those words used together, but “vapid wastrel” just cracked me up, conjuring up so many stereotypical images. You’d be surprised how many hits you get when you google “vapid wastrel”.

      • BobLee Reply
        2 months ago

        EVERYBODY has known a few “vapid wastrels” along Life’s Way. The longer one strolls along Life’s Way the more of’em one encounters. Not all “vapid wastrels” are “privileged” but many are.
        .
        As Kid was growing up she would encounter certain “types” I suggested she categorize them. There are – IMO – a finite number of “types”. Be out & about long enough and types start repeating themselves. Remembering the outcome of earlier encounters helps in those repetitive situations. Dealing with “vapid wastrels” is such a life lesson. No?

    • Dr Wire Reply
      2 months ago

      There is nothing to add to the Elite college pay to play beyond your excellent perspective and a great opinion piece by Peggy Noonan in last Saturday’s WSJ. She can be very wise when she takes off her anti-Trump glasses.
      .
      Mack 2.0 is realizing quickly that unX football facilities are >5 years behind the curve and a new and improved Dean E Smith is top priority. In Mack 1.0 he had a tremendous facilities and recruiting advantage vs the other NC programs complimented by a NCAA legitimized athletic academic program that graduated scholars like Julius Peppers and Greg Ellis who would have struggled at Wake Tech academically.

      • BobLee Reply
        2 months ago

        Someone noted to me today that Mack1.0 ended in 1999. Todays recruits were NOT BORN then. Yes, the UNC FB facilities were state-of-the-art THEN complete with fish tank. My view is that so long as The Ram Fat Cats want to shell out THEIR $$$… let’em. Those Country Club Bragging Rights mean a lot to them.

    • Former96Heel Reply
      2 months ago

      Higher ed has no market force the be competitive, other than someone wanting a degree from a cache school, and even then, price is not an issue. The powers that be made all of us mere citizens co-signers for anyone going to school. We see how selective that process is. They will lend you an infinite amount with no discretion on what your earning capability is.
      .
      If you thought the housing mess 10 years ago was bad, the student loan mess on the horizon is way worse. You can sell an asset, foreclose on the house, have a car repoed, do something to get rid of the debt. Student loans live forever. Wait until they change the laws and go after heirs for debt owed upon death. Big gov’t has created a generation who can only afford a middle class life if they have discipline to spend less than they make. This generation never learned this from their dysfunctional parents. It certainly wasn’t taught in school. This is catalyst #1 for our country’s generational dive into socialism. If you think this was not intentional, you are blind. Debt is slavery.
      .
      Take away the loan guarantees, and slowly there will be price pressure on higher ed. Horrible degrees won’t disappear, but they will isolate them in the white tower fortresses. Both parties played along to completely remove market forces from student loans, and we will all pay the price.

      • BobLee Reply
        2 months ago

        I agree.

    • ENC1 Reply
      2 months ago

      So now your parents pay “extra” for you to get in the college of your choice or where your parents want you go. We also now have Liberal Studies ( you think Libs on campus will take credit for this major) or General Studies for students who cannot pass all the others majors available. SMH at higher education it has become a business aka make money for all the administration and faculty they don’t need.

      • BobLee Reply
        2 months ago

        “Higher Education” – at least among the Liberal Arts faction – has become a Monty Python Comedy of Absurdities. The STEM Schools still have adults in charge, at least for now.

    • DM Carpenter Reply
      2 months ago

      I wonder if any of these Hollyweird and Northeastern FatCats ever bribed someone to get their kid(s) into my elite Alma M., the Benning School for Boys? Nah, never happened.

      • BobLee Reply
        2 months ago

        These “elites” have been buying their kids’ way into Elite schools since Pre-school and Kindergarten.

    • robedixon Reply
      2 months ago

      FWIW…McCalls closed what appeared to anyone who dined there a profitable restaurant in Clayton NC about a year ago. The place stayed full and we dined there on occasion. The stated reason was to gear down as the owners neared retirement. They sold it to someone who got stupid and tried their own idea instead of just continuing the previous successful dining approach. It failed within a few months.
      .
      My son who sells them meat told me that they were profitable so….. As for the McCalls that operates across the street from Wilburs they have lots of local biz and especially that important after church crowd in the area so since their dependence on beach traffic is less they might make it and add on some of Wilburs local biz. The food quality, meat and veges purchased at their supplier note above reference, at McCalls is superior to most buffets and that helps as well. Kings as you know has already branched out into several stores in Kinston so maybe the owner there is looking ahead more than Wilbur and of course he is much younger than Wilbur who despite his comments of late to reopen might just say to hell with it.
      .
      Few remember now but some years ago when 70 bypassed Smithfield Beckys Log Cabin who had a big Sunday night business of beach goers now has all but closed.

      • BobLee Reply
        2 months ago

        You are my Go To Guy for all matters JoCo and Wayne counties and one of several for Lenoir County, so I yield to your expertise.

    • Former96heel Reply
      2 months ago

      Rams club must use dot accounting for construction. A good electrician could add enough charging stations to power a fleet of Teslas for 5% that cost. Drying rack for 100 helmets, is that really millions of dollars? Toss in hd game stations and you’re up to what a million?
      .
      The real joke is when they ask for more academic advisors, study halls, and athlete friendly courses. About 5 years from now and those recruits will not have seen born during TGU.
      ‘‘Tis why the school will never see a dime from me again. It’s like donating to the state general fund, then wondering why the money is squandered

      • BobLee Reply
        2 months ago

        I agree. My “inside source” may have omitted a bunch of other MUST HAVES to get to $7,000,000. The Charging Stations and Helmet Dryers were the ones he thought most meaningful.
        .
        I know one area of concern is “support staff”. Supposedly Dabo has an army of 100 “gofers” who do whatever needs doing from chaperoning players to class to whatever. UNCCH had only about 20 or so. No idea how many NCState has,,,

    • Camvilpack Reply
      2 months ago

      Hit POST before adding a sarcastic comment about my “correction” – as always, a very enjoyable and humorous post by you, sir!

    • Camvilpack Reply
      2 months ago

      I only have one comment/correction. Social memberships at country clubs do give you tennis privileges. Sometimes you can even use the driving range. You just lose golf course privileges.

      • BobLee Reply
        2 months ago

        Is that like a universal rule for all CCs? I thought some were just food & beverage functions. I stand corrected. Applying that new definition to Social Admission to Elite Colleges would allow one to attend any class any time but not be counted as enrolled or take tests or be graded.

    • James Taylor Reply
      2 months ago

      AT LAST! Back to what you do best! Skewer the things that really matter and stay away from politics.

      • BobLee Reply
        2 months ago

        The “politics” is still there for those that care for it.

    • NCSU68Grad Reply
      2 months ago

      I had read the article outing the DEMOCRATIC Fat Cats that we’re involved in AdmissionGate….I did not realize there was one of the Right Winger Republicans involved. Just shows that WILLIE Singer really does NOT have any redeeming moral qualities.
      .
      Sounds like Mack 2.0 has a “consultant”….Butch Davis. Butch would be in the same scumball classification as Jim Harrick (GOTT hired him while AD Yow was recovering from getting a new hip). There is NO truth in the rumor that Yow’s hip went out when she carried the 16 YO Gottfried around….on her RIGHT hip.
      .
      Wilbur MIGHT be in deep dodo. Other sites, with impeccable credentials, are hinting that after his wife passed away, he hired a new UNC Account, with QuckBooks on their laptop, and that things went down hill as the late Mrs. Wilbur had some nice culinary financial skills.
      .
      I DO hope that Wilbur was paying the quarterly IRS & NCDOR withholding payments….and only NOT paying his taxes or sales taxes. NOT making the Withholding” deposits will get you jail time. My wife’s old CPA firm always advised financially distressed clients to beg or borrow or max out CC and make the Withholding payments. You WILL ago to jail as that is Grand Theft….of your employee’s $$. Her CPA partners always said that they would charge billable hours to go to jails and meet with clients that did not heed their advice

      • BobLee Reply
        2 months ago

        If Wilber didn’t know that about NCDOR after 50 years in bizness, he deserves to be shut down.
        .
        I figured Mack would wait until he won 2-3 in a row before he started getting “The GIMMEs”… guess not. But so long as its all Fat Cat $$$ who cares?

    • Doug Reply
      2 months ago

      I knew when you wrote about Wilber’s you had some inside info. But did you know that neither Guvnor Roy nor the NC Democratic Party of which I’m a member -not in good standing apparently if one disagrees with the political direction- has responded to my numerous requests for an explanation for why barbecue restaurants are failing in droves under their watch?
      .
      The NC Supreme Court seems to be doing OK for Democrats by 6-1 but the favorite BBQ joints of my youth – adulthood are O-fer in 2018-19. Not nary a word. And nothing from anyone in State Government will answer why AppleGoogleZon was offered $$BILLIONS to come to NC but Mr Wilber is run out of business for a measly $60K-&70K and not one soul in NCDOT has offered help despite claiming to make it more convenient to drive to the beach while not riding by Wilber’s to stop for Brunswick stew and vittles while watching endless streams of F-15’s doing treetop pass-overs for touch-and-go landings at SJAFB.
      .
      And don”t tell me all that extra traffic coming out of the Global TransPark justified the by-pass when everyone knows it was built to save 15 minutes (it doesn’t) for the Triangle elite heading down to their Crystal Coast dacha for the weekend shifting the bottleneck down to Kinston and especially New Bern-Havelock and not saving even 5 minutes if one travels on NC-70 East on a Friday or West on Sunday.
      .

      Mack. Come on man. Didn’t you learn the first time that the shape of the ball makes all the difference over there at UNC? If football players get theirs, whats next? Extra hair dryers and lounge for women’s BB and Field Hockey?

      • BobLee Reply
        2 months ago

        Wilber Shirley had 8-10 years of advance warning about “the new By-pass”. Plenty of time to open a satellite unit on either end of it to catch the vaunted “beach traffic”. Hellfire… he could stick a Food Truck on the side of the road of “the By-pass” and feed the Triangle Elites. How long will McCall’s last… or do they pick up Wilber’s bizness and survive? … Will King’s learn from Wilber’s mistakes as THAT by-pass develops?
        .
        Mack demanding the fancy new locker room is a 5-Star Hoot. He ain’t done yet with his “I WANTs” either. Not hardly

    • Jack.Gsbo Reply
      2 months ago

      Was the College Admissions Scandal even “news” only because it involved Hollywood celebs?

      • BobLee Reply
        2 months ago

        Even more specifically than that… only because one of the celebs had a squeaky clean image – “Aunt Becky” from Full House. Without Lori Loughlin this was a one-day 200-word piece on Page 3.

    Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

    You may use these HTML tags and attributes: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <s> <strike> <strong>

    This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.