I told Blondie – “JUST SHOOT ME IF I EVER ….”

    Odd Duck222
    BobLee
    September26/ 2019

    BLSays LOGO short

    So… I told Blondie:  “JUST SHOOT ME IF I EVER…”

    .

    Around 7:00 PM last Saturday I walked in the house and Blondie asked innocently “How’d it go… did ya have fun?”  

    “If I EVER accept another invitation from ANYONE to “go to a game” – JUST SHOOT ME!”

    Uh Oh… I bet you got some great column fodder though. She replied.  The chicken pot pie should be ready in 20 minutes…

    .

    REMINDER:  Regular BLSays readers know that – I no longer embrace the American Tradition of “attending sports events”.  I appreciate that the vast majority of you DO enthusiastically enjoy “said Tradition”.  I don’t…Odd Duck

    I am “the odd duck” on this issue.  And on a few other issues as well.

    .

    It all started innocently enough two days earlier.  I was watching The Cardinals in their first of Four Cub Killings when the IPhone 10Plus rang with the Theme From BONANZA ringtone.  It was my friend of over Half a Century “Little Ricky”. … “Wassup Little Ricky?”

    “Little Ricky” had an offer I coulda / I shoulda refused… but I didn’t… because it was “Little Ricky”.

    A freebie to Mack2.0 Versus AppState “amid the lofty pines” of Kenan Jr (NOT The Racist) Stadium.

    “Little Ricky” was pretty sure it was “in The Blue Zone” – it was – our buddy Bailey would be joining us.

    I have not been “amid the lofty pines” for going on four years and have not missed the experience even a little bit.  “Little Ricky” has only been once/twice for many of the same reasons.  I knew spending a few hours with “Little Ricky” and Bailey would be fun and hopefully outweigh all the extraneous crap involved in going to a game.

    In retrospect… had Little Ricky, Bailey and I met at a – not too loud – sports bar for three hours, we coulda solved most of Mankind’s more pressing problems over All-You-Can-Eat wings and a few pitchers.  That woulda been fun.  But Noooo… we had to “go to the freakin’ game”.

    Have I mentioned that “Little Ricky” is about 32 clicks FURTHER “Right” politically than I am?  Anyone on “Little Ricky’s email list keeps a bottle of Hillary’s Special E-Mail Erasing Bleach on hand.  We scrub our hard drives daily just in case an FBI goon squad might kick our door in… ya never know these days.  “Little Ricky” gets “on a roll” about 3-4 times/day.

    NOTE:  Actually, “being impeached” for receiving provocative e-mails from “Little Ricky” would make a helluva column … Ya Think?

    Back in the day… “Little Ricky” was a VERY undersized Middle Linebacker for a local college football team.  Gotta be a special kind of crazy to do that.  In 1971, Little Ricky stood in the players’ tunnel at Notre Dame Stadium.  The ND fight song had 80,000 hostile fans in a hostile frame of mind.  Little Ricky turned to his two teammates – Paul Miller & John Bunting – and suggested they say The Gladiators Prayer …. We who are about to die… Salute you!

    So, we get to The Blue Zone along with several thousand “middle-aged plus” guys wearing Topsiders and Vineyard Vines bermuda shorts… and their bored-beyond-description wives (trophy and otherwise) and their quite bored coed daughters.

    Ya Ever Noticed:  At “manly events” like a football game… there is a tendency for paunchy middle-aged guys to walk around with their paunches sucked in and chests puffed out exuding an attitude of… “Yeah, I played some Defensive End back in Jr Hi… but decided my future was in Accounting.”.

    This was my 4-5th Blue Zone Experience.  The Blue Zone Guys do a fine job with the hospitality / free food / and the 20-30 TVs were working fine.  Kudos….

    BlueZone1

    It was 3:30… the Outside Heat Index was between Really Uncomfortable and Fry an Egg OnYour Seat.  Little Ricky, Bailey and I opted for a sliver of shade from the overhang for about a quarter until I permanently retreated to joining all the bored wives and coed daughters INSIDE.

    Kenan Stadium’s placid reputation notwithstanding… it was also TOO LOUD outside to carry on a conversation.

    I totally understand why The Blue Zone HAD TO BE built in the End Zone.  But anyone who tells you “thats the best place to watch a game” is trying desperately to sell you End Zone seats.

    The “Best Place to watch a game” is in your living room with a 40″ HDTV and a stocked refrigerator.  The End Zone at Kenan Stadium is maybe #27 on a Top Five “Best Places To” list.

    The game itself had absolutely nothing to do with my “Just Shoot Me” afternoon.  I had zero emotional investment in the outcome.  I wish the best for Mack & Bubba, but I was as apathetically disinterested as were all the wives and daughters sitting inside The Blue Zone thinking “Can we go now, please?”

    I had my trusty IPhone 10Plus, bluetooth headphones and my MLB AT BAT app.  I clicked into the Cardinals VS Cubs on-line streaming feed… found a column to lean against… enjoyed two hot dogs and some sort of boneless chicken thing… and conceived most of this commentary.

    With 12 minutes to go in the 4th Qrt I figured the shuttles would be running back to the Park/Ride lot so I found Little Ricky to “thank him”.  He asked me if either one of us EVER needed to do this  again.  I said I could not imagine WHY.  My old friend of fifty years laughed… and agreed.

    It coulda been Carter-Finley or BB&T or The Wally or Dowdy-Ficklin.  It would not have mattered.  Only difference is there are probably more Topsiders and Vineyard Vines bermudas “amid those lofty pines” than at those others venues.

    I think it is WONDERFUL that there are so many opportunities for Triangle-area sports fans to enjoy a College Gameday Experience … and that I will never take a ticket that prevents them from doing so …

    Theres More

    Is there a more decadent pleasure than a weekday afternoon movie matinee … to see Rambo: Last Blood.  If you’ve seen the other four Rambos and want to keep your streak alive … go see this one. I did. Rambo

    This one could be titled Rambo Meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre.  A LOT of blood and gore… a graphic beheading (of a bad guy) and a bodycount of Mexican human-trafficers that easily exceeds 50.  NOT recommended for kiddos or snowflakes who require counseling if they see a red ballcap.

    .

    A Lot More BobLeeSays Columns … LINK

    PS:  There are a coupla new BL EN FUEGO posts up (LINK)BUT BEWARE – They are Provocative Political Punditry and NOT intended for about 40% of The American Public… or 98.9% of Chapel Hill citizenry.

    .

     

    BobLee
    • James Taylor Reply
      3 weeks ago

      Now that’s the BL I have been looking for. Welcome home.

    • Radio_Smuggles Reply
      3 weeks ago

      The aunt lives a couple of miles from me and a block and a half from DFS though 2 minutes is a stretch these days with these knees and these hips. Not sure about the pirate ship pickup tuck but a former neighbor carries his personal porta-john adorned with faux port holes & vinyl woodgrain paneling to his tailgating spot. To his wife’s glee the pj sits in their backyard the other 359 days a year.
      .
      Re: The Blue Zone. The B-I-L says that the high$$$ BZ is a place to be SEEN but impossible to actually SEE a game there. RIP to the Alamo but guessing some of the Carolina Junction Boys may not miss it so much.

      • BobLee Reply
        3 weeks ago

        OK… I get the time/distance logistics now…
        .
        Alas… re: The Alamo / Taco Bell / Morris Mason’s House … It’s demise is ALWAYS lamented whenever The Junction Boys get together. It was where we witnessed Jim Hickey’s Farewell Speech and the Infamous Mat Room where Bill Dooley’s Goon Squad “culled the herd” of 25 Hickey recruits over a 30-day period.
        .
        TBZone is “fine” and has all the fru-fru bells/whistles that such VIP places all have. That it HAD to be located in The End Zone makes it “different”. No one will EVER Force the Fat Cats out of their luxury A/C lair to roast in the late summer sun or in any sort of inclemency.

    • TarSpartan Reply
      3 weeks ago

      Amendment to my comment — Divisional series is 5 games, so Cards in 4. My fingers are working faster than my brain today…

      • BobLee Reply
        3 weeks ago

        I knew what you meant but was too polite to correct you. 🙂 ..

    • TarSpartan Reply
      3 weeks ago

      Re: Braves/Cardinals

      I was a kid who “discovered” baseball in 1985. Thanks to Ted Turner and Dale Murphy, my favorite team is the Braves, but since they were the 80s Braves, they never sniffed the post-season (save a fluke year with Joe Torre managing and Bob Gibson as pitching coach). My “other” favorite team to root for in the post-season was the St. Louis Cardinals, with the fastest outfield in history (Coleman, McGee, and Van Slyke).
      .
      Fast forward to 2019 (25 years post-strike), and the Braves & Cardinals meet in the post-season (first time since ’82?). Anyway, As hot as the Braves bats have been this year, their pitching has been mediocre at best, and their two best hitters are currently battling injury bugs. The Cards, meanwhile, have peaked at the right time. I’m picking Cards in 6 for the honor of losing to the Dodgers.

      • BobLee Reply
        3 weeks ago

        Alas, I am not so inclined. The Brew Crew is on an 18-2 run and may push the Cards into the Wild Card when they will have to burn Jack Flaherty – their Ace. That and the Cards’ bats have gone dormant… a reoccurring issue this season. I am a BIG Mike Shildt however and will follow every pitch as I have pretty much done all season … even the 19-inning affair on Tuesday. OUCH!

    • Todd Lesley Reply
      3 weeks ago

      Your Cardinals pitching or my Braves bats in a 5 game series?

      • BobLee Reply
        3 weeks ago

        Braves are the smart bet for sure. Cardinals bats are waaay too unpredictable. Flaherty IS The Real Deal but there is only one of him.
        .
        IF StL ends up in the WildCard that REALLY hurts our rotation. Braves vs Dodgers would be a Good’un. As will Yankees vs Astros.

    • Zeke.Shelby Reply
      3 weeks ago

      NO MORE CALLS! We have our Winner…
      .
      “…Ya Ever Noticed: At “manly events” like a football game… there is a tendency for paunchy middle-aged guys to walk around with their paunches sucked in and chests puffed out exuding an attitude of… “Yeah, I played some Defensive End back in Jr Hi… but decided my future was in Accounting.”.
      .
      … wearing Topsiders and Vineyard Vines Bermudas…”
      .
      I know a dozen guys that describes to “a T” ….. Give’em Hell BL…

      • BobLee Reply
        3 weeks ago

        We all do Zeke… VIP Enclaves in Stadiums attract’em like a bug-lite.

    • Da Judge in Charlotte Reply
      3 weeks ago

      I was a UNC freshman during Bill Dooley’s first season at the helm of the Tar Heels. The offense was very simple: Bomar handed off to McCauley. Three yards and a cloud of dust. The Heels won two games that season. A flask of bourbon and a soft drink mixer made the games enjoyable. Looks like a flask will be needed at home games this season.

      • BobLee Reply
        3 weeks ago

        He could never say it publicly… but Mack realized very quickly that Larry left the talent cupboard rather bare. It’ll take another year or so to be competitive, even in the ACC.

    • Radio_Smuggles Reply
      3 weeks ago

      I have two local options. Option #1. Two miles from DFS. Aunt has a driveway for parking with a two minute walk to the bowels of the stadium. A record of 2 or so W’s a year doesn’t inspire fannies-in-seats or many TV games. Not happening
      .
      Option #2. Sit and watch on HDTV any generic game(s) simultaneously or Hallmark movies in close proximity to necessary amenities. Winner. Option #2 has a 98.9% chance of winning even with a 13-0 record and seats in the new money pit tower.
      .
      The odd duck.

      • BobLee Reply
        3 weeks ago

        WHOA! You can walk two miles to DFS in two minutes ???? The tailgate parties at DFS are legendary. Is that guy with the full-size pirate’s ship mounted on his pick-up still around?
        .
        There may be enough of us “odd ducks” to have our own flock!

    • Little.Ricky Reply
      3 weeks ago

      My sentiments, too! I went to the game, only, to see a few really, really special UNC/Happy Appy friends! I will go to see the Heels play, in Raleigh, because I’d like to see all of my Wolf Pack tailgating friends. I give only the minimum to the Rams Club……I give a ” lot more money ” to Bobby Purcell…but, again, a happy life is a happy life, eh?

      • BobLee Reply
        3 weeks ago

        LRP… I’m planning an update column on The UNC Wine&Cheese Stereotype circa 2019. My POV, as usual, might surprise more than few folks.

    • BC.in.PV Reply
      3 weeks ago

      BL, so enjoyable to read. Beautifully captured thoughts and feelings of a lot of folks these days, most of whom used to love this stuff and now wouldn’t walk next door to see it live. I don’t know whether it is because you and I spent a lot of our younger days intimately involved in the sport and “burned out” or the attitudes of the participants that we would have to cheer for.
      .
      Whatever it is, like you I just don’t care. Maybe I’m spoiled by having access to HD TV. I still have a difficult [impossible] time watching an entire game.

      • BobLee Reply
        3 weeks ago

        Thanks Bill. Yet, I DO still enjoy “watching baseball” at least on HDTV. All the reasons MLB is criticized are part of the attraction for me, but, again… I’m an Odd Duck. But I’m not interested in sitting in a ballpark for three hours UNLESS I am with very interesting people. Baseball’s “pace” allows for good conversation.

    • WHaywood Johnson Reply
      3 weeks ago

      Good one. My daddy’s “just shoot me” was if you ever saw him smoking a pipe, carrying an umbrella or wearing a tweed jacket with suede elbow patches. I’m with you on the ball game attendance.

      • BobLee Reply
        3 weeks ago

        Your daddy sounds like “my kinda guy”. No strong thoughts on tweed jackets or pipe smoking BUT I have not owned an umbrella since Spiro Agnew was VP … if then.

    • 90Lobo Reply
      3 weeks ago

      Whoa, now. Wouldn’t you say that when Angel and I hosted you and Blondie for our Thurs night miracle vs FSU 10 years ago …that it was “worth the effort”?
      .
      I get that it is NO LONGER worth it…but we got you while you were still
      “in play”.
      .
      What did you call our RV lot? It was a classic…something like “Connie’s Beauty Salon and Trailer Park”. Hell you met the ONLY Walmart fan of the Wolfpack!
      .
      Gotta admit…it was worth it………back then.
      – 90Lobo

      • BobLee Reply
        3 weeks ago

        INDEED… True Dat!
        .
        Actually, that fellow you mention was: “The only WuffFan I’ve ever met who admitted to having sex with a domesticated farm animal…” YIKES!
        .
        Also… that night we spent most of the night IN THE COMFORTABLE RV… NOT “in the stadium”! A very special night for “Russel” as I recall.
        .
        Give “The Meredith Angel” a BobLee Hug! – 🙂 …

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